Stepsiblings
by Raberba girl
Summary: Saïx & Xion's father is engaged to Axel & Roxas's mom. Saïx is not looking forward to gaining brothers, but he's just gonna have to get used to it. Modern AU, obviously platonic AkuSaiRokuShi.
1. Stepsiblings

Stepsiblings  
>A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl<p>

_Part 6 is dedicated to Infamousplot_

Summary: Saïx & Xion's father is engaged to Axel & Roxas's mom. Saïx is not looking forward to gaining brothers, but he's just gonna have to get used to it. Modern AU, obviously platonic AkuSaiRokuShi.

**Part 1**

I am not one of those teenagers under the illusion that life should be fair, but that didn't mean I had to be happy about it. "Axel can be in a tutoring session, partying with college girls, or setting something on fire for all I care. Why do _I_ have to baby-sit his little brother when Xion's not even here?"

"Because I asked you to," Father said sternly. "Xion may be at a slumber party, but we still need someone to watch Roxas while we're out, and you know we can't afford unnecessary expenses right now."

"Hiring a baby-sitter for a few hours is not going to make a difference in when you can get married," I muttered, but then winced. I had inherited my eyes from Father. Being able to freeze people in their tracks with a single look can be rather ego-inflating, but it's quite a different matter when you're the one on the receiving end. I could practically _feel_ his golden glare burning into me, even though I was looking at the floor. "All right. All _right_. I'll keep an eye on Roxas during your date."

"Excuse me?" Father rumbled in his dangerous voice.

I quickly forced myself to meet his eyes and schooled my voice to sound as compliant as I could get it. "Forgive my disrespectful demeanor, sir. I happily accept the charge that has been given me."

"Better. Now get downstairs, we've kept them waiting far too long."

Lea was sitting on the living room sofa when we came in, the engagement ring gleaming on her hand as she held Roxas in her lap. Though she was crooning to him as she stroked his hair, he still looked slumped and doleful. His posture mirrored my own feelings.

"Darling!" Lea exclaimed happily when she saw my father. He smiled in return, transforming his face. "Are you ready to go?"

"At your word, my dear," he returned. He had never been that doting with my own mother.

"Don't go away, Mommy," Roxas mumbled.

"Oh, _sweet_heart," she murmured, squeezing him tight. "Mommy's just gonna be gone for a little while, don't worry. You're gonna have so much fun with Saïx that you won't even remember I'm gone, right?"

Roxas cast a doubtful look at me. I did nothing to support his mother's claim.

"Saïx," Father growled.

I forced a smile onto my face. "Yes. We'll have lots of fun."

Roxas went pale and clung tighter to his mother, which rather amused me. "I want Axel," he whimpered. "Saïx is gonna eat me."

Well, that was a new one.

"Don't be silly, precious! Saïx is a very nice young man, and besides, Axel's busy studying so he can pass the exams this time and not be grounded the rest of the school year. He should be along in a little while. Now, give Mommy a kiss and say good-bye."

"Don't wanna."

"Roxas, my sugarcake," Lea cooed, her voice oozing sweetness even as a hint of steel crept into it. "Mommy really, really doesn't want to have to get mean, but-"

Roxas abruptly slid from her lap and ran upstairs.

Lea gave a rehearsed-sounding sigh. I'm pretty sure she was going for exasperated affection. "Children can be so silly...but, tee hee, that's why we love them!" She smiled up at my father. "Shall we go, darling?"

"Here's your coat, sweetheart," he said, holding it open for her without a trace of impatience in his expression.

I listened to them leave the way much younger children often strained to listen for their parents' return. As soon as the sound of their car had faded into the distance, I went back up to resume work on the essay I had been trying to write for school.

I was not left in peace for long. As soon as I heard my bedroom door creaking open, my grip tightened on _The Scarlet Letter_ in irritated anticipation.

"Saïx."

Ugh. If Roxas always said people's names in that sullen little voice, I could start to see why Axel gushed over him like an idiot. Unlike me, Axel had a weakness for cute things.

"You're supposed to be baby-sitting. You have to come play with me."

"What I have to do is my homework. Go away."

"You're mean."

"You catch on quickly." I put the book down and started typing the quote I had needed and finally found.

"I'll tell Mommy that you left me all alone."

"Good. Perhaps they won't trust me to baby-sit you in the future."

"I don't like you."

"The feeling is mutual."

"Don't use big words."

"It's not my fault you don't know what they mean."

"I'll ask Axel."

That made me smile. "You can try, though I doubt he'll be able to help much with that small brain of his."

"Axel's smart," Roxas growled. "He knows everything."

"Why is he in tutoring, then?"

There was a long pause. Then I heard the sound of my door slamming shut, and Roxas giving it a violent kick. I smiled again.

For a little longer, I was able to keep working undisturbed, but then a scream tore through my concentration. I threw the book across my desk and ran downstairs, cursing. I should have at least brought my work into the dining room, I shouldn't have let a five-year-old roam the house freely. Lea would kill me when she returned, and then Father would make sure I had a miserable afterlife.

"Roxas!"

He sat on the hearth next to a bag of marshmallows, cradling his hand against his chest with huge moist eyes.

"What did you _do_?"

He said nothing, but the little fire crackling in the grate was answer enough. I snatched him up, marched into the kitchen, sat him on the counter beside the sink, turned the cold water on, then tried to wrestle his injury free. "Give me your hand."

"Don't hurt me."

"I'm trying to _help_ you. Give me your hand!"

"No! Don't hurt me!"

I pried his left arm away and pinned it to the side, trying to maneuver his right hand into the stream of water. "Is this the one you hurt? Come _on_, Roxas, we need to be quick."

"Stop it! Mommy!"

"Be quiet, your mother's gone."

That was when the tears he had been holding in his eyes began to slip down his face. "I want Axel," he whispered.

"All you've got is me. Deal with it." We did not speak for a while, the sound of running water the only thing to break the silence. Finally, I pointed out, "It doesn't hurt, does it?"

He looked away sullenly. I cautiously let go of his left arm, which he rested in his lap. At least he wasn't stupid enough to try to fight me again.

"All right, I'm going to put some ice on it now," I said, turning off the faucet.

"Don't-"

"I'm _not_." It had been foolish to let him be frightened of me earlier. Of course he didn't trust me now, when I needed him to. "Here's a washcloth. Dry your hand."

By the time I had wrapped up a few ice cubes, his face was starting to pucker. "It hurts," he whimpered.

I took his hand and gently pressed the bundle of ice against the swollen white welts that had formed on his palm. "Well, that's what happens when you stick your hand in a fire."

"I didn't stick my hand in the fire!" he cried indignantly. "I'm not _stupid_!"

"How did you burn yourself, then?" I challenged.

He looked away again and muttered, "Didn't know the poker would get hot that fast."

He was so small. Of course he wouldn't have enough strength to wield the implement by its handle. "Well. Now you know."

Without looking at me, he reached out his free hand until he had grasped my sleeve. Then, to my surprise, he tugged me closer and put his face against my shirt. I couldn't understand why until he began to make quiet, very muffled sobs. With a resigned sigh, I rested my own free hand against his back, patting him like my mother had used to do to comfort me when I was very small.

After I went to all the trouble of bringing my schoolwork downstairs and setting up one of my sister's Disney videos for Roxas, he ended up falling asleep on the couch beside me about fifteen minutes into the movie. Since it was too much effort to relocate back upstairs, I turned the volume down until it served as white noise rather than a distraction, and continued working.

It was nearly 10:00 when a car pulled into the driveway. I went to go open the door before Axel could even start his usual obnoxious doorbell-ringing. "Here, this is yours," I said, thrusting the still half-asleep Roxas into his brother's arms. Good riddance.

"Rox-my-socks!" Axel exclaimed. I resisted the temptation to roll my eyes in response to the most idiotic nickname ever inflicted on a child. "You fell asleep, buddy?"

Roxas blinked sleepy blue eyes at him. "Axel." He pushed his bandaged hand up in front of Axel's face. "Look."

I went back to unplug my laptop and pick up my papers.

"Ehhhh, what happened to you?"

Had to get out of the room before Axel found out...

"Me and Saïx tried to toast marshmallows, like you showed me last time."

I froze in surprise, nearly dropping the laptop cord that was bunched messily under my arm.

"You and _Saïx_ tried to toast _marshmallows_?"

I looked up to find Axel staring at me in understandable astonishment. "Roxas burned his hand on the poker," I said. Not a lie. But why in the world had Roxas...?

"You burned your _hand_?" He sounded exactly like a horrified mother exclaiming over her injured child.

"Yeah, but Saïx fixed it."

"I applied ice," I corrected, finally managing to get all my things gathered in my arms. "He still has blisters."

"Aw, man, let me see, kiddo."

I was finally able to escape back to my room as Axel began to gently unfasten the bandage.

It was difficult to concentrate. Just when I managed to calm my thoughts and get back into writing again, there were footsteps in the hall, and my door burst open without being knocked upon first. "I'm taking Roxas home now," Axel announced.

"Good," I said through gritted teeth, not bothering to turn around.

Axel walked farther into the room. "Saïx," he declared, "I've decided that I don't hate you anymore."

"I'm thrilled. Now go away."

"Yup," he continued, completely ignoring me as he sat on the edge of my desk. "You're still a stuck-up nerdy rich boy, but anyone who'll take care of my little brother the way you did can't be all bad."

"I happen to need that symbolism chart you're sitting on."

To my surprise, he pointed at my face and said triumphantly, "I knew it! Your 'Rawr, I'm a jerk' thing is an act."

"_What_?"

"Your cheeks are all pink."

"They are NOT," I growled, just barely stopping myself in time from raising a hand to my face. "And just so the record is straight, Roxas got hurt in the first place because I was holed up in my room, neglecting to notice that he was _starting a fire_ downstairs."

"Yeah, that was dumb of you," he said readily, smacking a fist against the side of my head. "Dumb of him, too, but since I already chewed him out and forgave him, I guess I'll forgive you, too." He hopped off my desk, scattering papers in his wake. "Well. Like I said, gotta run. I'll see you around, Sai."

I turned around in my seat to face him as he walked out the door. "Do _not_ call me that."

"Fine, guess I'll have to settle for Sai-in-the-sky, then," he called back, already down the hall.

"Axel!" If he was this bad now, I could just imagine how nightmarish it was going to be once we became brothers. "_Axel_!"

**Part 2**

A few weeks later, I woke up to the sound of my sister's warbling voice. "Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you...!"

Groaning, I rolled over and blearily tried to focus on her. "Xion?"

Her face broke into a smile as she stood there beside my bed with a tray in her hands. "Happy birthday, dear Saïx, happy birthday to YOU!" she finished, _much_ too enthusiastically for this hour of the morning.

"Ugh, go away..."

"I can't go away, it's your birthday!"

"Xion-"

"Sit up!" She put the tray on my bedside table, not even seeming to notice that she had knocked off my radio clock and cell phone in the process, then climbed onto my bed. She seized my arm and a handful of my hair.

"OW!"

"Sit up, sit up, sit up!"

I surged up, seized her, and pinned her to the bed, wanting to hit her. Unfortunately, I'd either have to settle for something stupid like tickling, or be mature and refrain from retaliation. "Don't do that," I growled.

She giggled a little nervously. "Sai-Sai, it's your birthday! Happy birthday! I made breakfast for you!" She pointed.

I looked over at the tray, paying attention to it for the first time. On it was a package of Pop-Tarts, a bowl of cereal that had already gone soggy, one of the plastic sippy cups that Xion had grown out of, and an ice cream bowl containing a slightly battered yellow dandelion resting in water.

"Ta-da!" Wriggling out of my loosened grip, Xion stood up on the bed again, pushed me until I had moved to sit against the headboard, then carefully picked up the tray and set it on my lap. "This is your special day, so you get to eat breakfast in bed," she announced importantly.

I sighed. This was not something we had ever done in our family, so she must have picked it up from somewhere else. "Xion, you watch far too much television. We don't do breakfasts in bed."

"Yes, we do!" she cried. "Roxas says that every time someone in his family has a birthday, they get breakfast in bed!"

"Roxas's family is not our family."

"Well, they _will_ be," she pouted.

I winced. "Don't remind me."

"Why would I have to remind you? I thought you already knew that. Daddy's gonna marry Lea, and she and Roxas and Axel will come live with us, and we'll all live happily ever after!"

"Your definition of 'happily ever after' differs drastically from mine."

"You're so grumpy. Sai-Sai, can I have one of your Pop-Tarts?"

"Not if you call me 'Sai-Sai'."

She tipped forward and caught herself with her hands on my shoulders, causing the tray to wobble dangerously. "Saïx, my best big brother in the whole wide world, pleeeeaaaase let me have a Pop-Tart?"

"Just take them both." I had a great disdain for the things, anyway; Xion was the only one in our family who ever ate them.

"Yay! I love you!" She kissed me, then plopped down on the bed and reached for the silvery package.

"Ugh." I scrubbed at my cheek, wishing that my sister wasn't so...little sisterish.

After struggling with the package for a minute, she held it out. "Sai-Sai - I mean, Saïx, best big brother in the world, can you please open this for me?"

I did so.

"Yay! I love you!"

"Stop saying that."

"Well, it's true. Here, eat your cereal," she said eagerly, pushing the bowl and its disgusting milk-drowned contents closer to me.

"How about _you_ try eating it?" I challenged.

"But it's yours!"

"Take a bite of it. I dare you," I added, having learned that this was often an effective persuasion for some reason.

She peered doubtfully into the bowl. "I don't want to eat it. It looks gross."

"Yet you expect _me_ to eat it?"

"Well...I guess not. Drink your juice, then!"

Reluctantly, I unscrewed the lid of the sippy cup and swallowed a little bit of orange juice. At least it tasted fine, though Xion was sadly lacking in vessel-choosing skills.

"Do you like your flower?" she asked.

"It's a weed."

"It's a _flower_! It was the only one I could find. Daddy gets mad if I pick the bigger ones."

It was true, I remembered. Father never allowed Xion even to come near his professionally tended flower beds. It was true that young children of Xion's age were destructive, but...

I lifted the dandelion out of its ice cream bowl, shaking off the excess water. "You're right, it is a flower."

Her eyes widened. "I...I'm right?"

"Yes." I looked at her. For the first time this morning, I was beginning to realize how thoughtful it had been of her to prepare all this. She was ludicrously bad at it, but...she had done it all for me. Besides, she was only six years old, it was her first time attempting something like this, and she had done it all without help. "Thank you, Xion."

Her eyes lit up. "You like it, Saïx?"

"Yes. You may give me a hug, if you wish."

She threw her arms around my neck, and I was quite surprised at how little I minded when the trayful of various liquids went flying.

**Part 3**

"Hey, Saïx, there's a weed stuck to your shirt."

"Your powers of observation are astonishing." I finished stacking my textbooks and shut the door of my locker.

"Wait, you mean you seriously came to school with a dandelion pinned to your shirt on _purpose_?"

Axel never did know when to drop a subject. "I need to get to class. Go find your actual friends and stop pestering me."

"Dude! School doesn't start for another twenty minutes!"

"Chemistry tutoring, on the other hand, started ten minutes ago." Trust that sister of mine to make me late, though even the apprehension of looking so irresponsible wasn't enough to ruin my good mood.

_Of course_ Axel followed me down the hall. "What the heck? I saw your last report card, you got a B in chemistry! Why d'you need tutoring?"

"Because it's not an A."

"Geez, you're such a perfectionist! There's nothing wrong with a B, Saïx."

"Tell that to my father."

He actually stopped walking for a minute, falling several paces behind. Then I heard his rushed footsteps as he ran to catch up to me. "Saïx. Wait a second. Hold up. Is he expecting _me_ to start making all A's once we move in with you guys?"

This time, it was my turn to stop. I met Axel's anxious gaze squarely, and smiled. "I'm going to give you a piece of brotherly advice: Study hard." I continued on again, listening in satisfaction to Axel's outraged swearing echoing through the hall behind me.

I received strange looks and nosy questions about the dandelion all day, but one golden-eyed glare was almost always enough to get them to shut up. This little scrap of good humor belonged to me and her, no one else.

After school, as had become our practice, Axel and I walked together to go pick up the children. Xion caught sight of us as we were signing them out with the after school care supervisor at the head of the playground. She came flying toward us with a beaming face and outstretched arms, Roxas right on her heels.

"Saïx! You came for me!"

I frowned, a little puzzled. "Why wouldn't I? I always come for you."

"Heeeeyyy, Rox-my-socks!"

"Axel!"

Xion and I looked over as Axel swept up his younger brother into his arms with one easy movement, both of them laughing and practically radiating affection. Xion stared at them so longingly that I finally sighed and placed my hands under her arms. Her eyes shot to me in surprise.

"Come."

A huge smile broke over her face and she gave a little hop, allowing me to easily swing her up and rest her weight against my hip. "How was school today?" I thought to ask.

"It was fun! We learned about-" She suddenly broke off. "That's my flower!" she exclaimed in amazement, reaching out gently to touch what was left of the dandelion's tiny, battered yellow petals. "You...you really wore it all day?"

"I said I would. I find it insulting that you think I wouldn't keep my word."

Her eyes filled with tears, which surprised me until she wrapped her arms around my neck and squeezed tightly. "I love you, big brother," she whispered in my ear.

Finding it difficult to breathe through her crushing embrace, I looked up to find the other two watching us with infuriatingly knowing grins. I narrowed my eyes at them in my fiercest glare, causing Roxas to hide his face against his brother's shoulder, but Axel only laughed.

**Part 4**

"Angelic" was not a word I would have ever thought to use in conjunction with my younger sister. However, watching Xion pace ceremoniously down the chapel's central aisle at our father's wedding, seeing the look on her face as she scattered flower petals with all the grace of a queen...

Well. Let's just say that, for whatever inexplicable reason, that was the first term that came to mind. _'I'm glad she's not embarrassing us,'_ I thought. Then felt just the smallest bit guilty as she spared a smile for me before taking her place among the bridesmaids.

At the reception afterwards, I was trying to convince Lea's irritatingly uncouth cousin that my facial scars were _not_ the result of a gang fight, when Axel suddenly barged up between us and seized my arm. Not that I recognized him at first - the image of Axel in a formal suit was just too bizarre for me to get used to. "Sai! You gotta come see what my little brother and your little sister are doing!"

_'So much for not embarrassing us.'_ However, my apprehension was abated (slightly) when we approached the dance floor and passed a cluster of variously-aged cooing females huddled near one corner of it.

"Ooohh, they are so _cute_!"

"That has got to be the most adorable thing I've seen at a wedding."

"Mom, you're filming this, right?"

"Awww, they are absolutely _precious_!"

By the time Axel and I got a good view, the children had paused. "No, Roxas," Xion commanded, "you have to stop doing that! _I_ know the steps, so I'm the boy; you don't know how to dance, so you have to be the girl and let me lead."

"I'm not a girl," Roxas objected.

"You're the girl _in the dance_. If you try to dance against me, you'll mess it up!"

"But-"

"Come on, Roxas," Axel called. "Be a man and be the girl." He laughed at his own remark, which had been too witless to even qualify as a bad joke.

"Just relax and don't try to steer," Xion instructed. "Feel where I'm moving you."

Roxas sighed. "Okay."

They began to dance again, their two tiny figures now waltzing around their corner of the dance floor with all the grace that could be expected of a five-year-old and a six-year-old.

It felt strange, watching them together. "Axel," I finally murmured. "What you said earlier was wrong."

"Huh?"

"He's not just your brother, and she's not just my sister. Not anymore."

Axel smiled at me, catching on at once. "Yeah. They're ours, right?"

I sighed. "Unfortunately, yes."

Axel punched me lightly in the shoulder. "Why's that 'unfortunate,' bro?"

I hesitated, wondering if I should settle for the obvious retort...but, no. Just this once, at our parents' wedding, I would give him the truth. "Because it gets harder when there's more to care about."

I expected him to laugh and make some flippant remark, not merely nod and agree, "That's true." Then he smiled and held out his hand. "Dance with me."

**Part 5**

I woke up on a Saturday morning to find Roxas in my bed _again_. "Wake up. Wake UP."

I had all but shoved him to the floor when he finally opened his eyes. "Hi, Saïx," he mumbled sleepily.

"Go back to your own room and don't ever let me catch you in here again," I hissed.

He blinked muzzily at the windows, which were growing bright with the rise of the sun. "'Kay," he agreed, as if that meant anything. He wandered away.

I got to my feet and climbed up to haul Axel out of bed. He was even worse than Roxas - he didn't wake up until I had tossed him to the floor and kicked him a few times.

"Stop kicking me," he mumbled, curling up.

"Axel, I'm fed up with this. We're switching bunks."

He peered up at me blearily. "What? Why?"

"Because that idiot little brother of yours keeps coming in here every time he has a nightmare and crawling into bed with _me_, since he's too lazy to climb up to you."

"So? You're his big brother, too, right?" Axel climbed into my bed - well, his, now. The lower bunk. "Way too early for this, Sai. I'll see you around noon." He pulled my pillow over his head and went back to sleep.

"Axel!"

**Part 6**

You would think that a kindergartener and a first grader couldn't get far on their own. Yet they were not on the playground or anywhere on campus or in any of the streets and yards we searched, and finally Axel gasped out "I need a break" and just sat down on the sidewalk as if he was too tired to take another step.

I stared down at him. He had seemed far more upset than I was over the disappearance of our siblings, and I currently had too much adrenaline in my blood to even think of wanting to rest. How could he want to do this _now_, before we had found the children? "Hurry," I said.

I was soon pacing impatiently, resenting the wasted time. There were too many unpleasant possibilities for what those two could be up to by now, or what had happened to them, while we were just _idling_ here uselessly...

The temptation to kick him was growing stronger. "Get up. You've had enough time." He did not respond. I stooped down to seize his shoulder, and was startled at the noise he made. He had not been resting after all.

Crouching there in indecision, I finally settled myself and relaxed my grip on his shoulder. "Axel," I said, trying to make my voice gentle. "The sooner we can get back to searching, the sooner we'll find them. It does no good to linger here."

"He means _everything_ to me," Axel managed, finally breaking down completely once he had spoken aloud. I could barely understand him when he added, "I'll _die_ if I lose Roxas."

"Don't be ridiculous. For one thing, they might not even be in danger. We won't know unless you _get up now_ and help me keep looking." I paused. "At the very least, just follow me while _I_ look." Somehow, it didn't feel right to simply abandon him there in his grief, even if that would make my job easier.

Axel wiped at his face, trying to pull himself together. "No. I'm helping, too. Just g-give...give me a minute..."

By the time it finally occurred to me to check the abandoned property behind the elementary school, we had discovered the hole in the fence that a reasonably-sized six-year-old could squeeze through, we had scaled the fence, and were met with the sight of his brother and my sister scampering around in oblivious contentment, Axel's mood had swayed from extreme distress to outright fury.

"I'LL KILL YOU," he bellowed.

Both children screamed as if they thought he was playing, fleeing up into a tree house that looked like it had been constructed decades ago.

Axel surged forward, but I quickly put a hand on his shoulder to restrain him. "Axel. Calm yourself. Let me handle this."

"Get Roxas down here so I can _thrash_ him," Axel snarled.

"Shut up and go wait over there."

Axel whirled and stomped over to the porch of the dilapidated house, hurling himself down and turning his back like a sulking child.

I climbed up the tree house steps carefully, hearing them creak under my feet. Fearing that each step might give way beneath me, I held on tightly with my hands and rested as much weight as I could on my arms when I got to the top.

Xion and Roxas were crouched together at the far end of the tree house's dim interior, giggling in anticipation as they watched me.

I gazed steadily at them until their smiles had faded. Roxas caved quickly; Xion, more used to my and our father's strange eyes, lasted a little longer, but eventually she, too, grew silent and apprehensive.

My voice was quiet when I spoke. "You told no one where you were going."

Xion immediately began to squirm, recognizing that she was in trouble, but Roxas was not as familiar with me yet. "'Course not," he said defiantly. "They would have stopped us."

"_Obviously_," I agreed, so cuttingly that he wilted and shifted a little, as if trying to hide behind Xion. "Did it ever occur to either of you that it might be _important_ for the adults to know where you are?"

Xion knew when to give in. "S-Saïx, I'm sor-ry," she wailed, large tears starting to roll down her cheeks.

"Grown-ups just ruin all the fun," Roxas muttered sullenly.

"Saïx, don't tell Daddy!" Xion sobbed. "Please don't tell Daddy!"

"You say this, yet I don't see you making any attempt-"

She immediately scrambled toward me. I grasped her arm firmly near the shoulder, supporting her as she threw her legs over the edge of the tree house floor. Then I swung her down, letting go at the moment when she could drop lightly to the ground with the most ease. I fixed my gaze on Roxas again.

He shrank back. "Go away."

"Your brother was worried."

A little remorse finally began to creep into his expression. "I- We- Nothing bad happened."

"_We didn't know that._ How were we supposed to know that?"

There was a long pause. "Is Axel mad at me?" Roxas finally whispered.

"He wasn't joking when he said he wanted to kill you."

The boy's face drained of color. Recognizing this as the moment to back off, I returned to the ground and looked at Xion, who retreated a few steps but continued to fix her huge pleading eyes on my face. She flinched a little but didn't resist when I took hold of her chin and leaned close, forcing her to keep meeting my gaze. "Never do that again."

"I won't," she whimpered. "I won't, I won't, I won't, Saïx do you still love me?"

My grip loosened in surprise. She immediately wrapped her arms around my waist and hid her face against my stomach, starting to cry in earnest. "Xion...I..." Awkwardly, I rested both hands against her back. "Yes."

I looked up to find Roxas creeping cautiously past me. As soon as he saw me glance at him, he bolted away, slowing down when he approached his brother. "Axel?"

"I'm too mad to even look at you right now," Axel growled, his back still turned and his arms now crossed.

Roxas stood there in complete dismay. "Axel! Axel, don't be mad, I didn't mean to-!"

"Shut up!" Axel yelled.

Roxas's shoulders hunched. Then he crept close and hesitantly grasped a bit of Axel's sleeve in his hand. "Alexa," he whispered, "I'm really, really sorry."

There was a long pause. Then Axel whirled on him, his turn now to look horrified. "I told you never to call me that in front of Saïx!"

I raised an eyebrow. "Alexa?"

"He couldn't say my name right when he was a baby!" Axel fumed as Xion began to giggle.

"Alexa's a girl's name," she pointed out.

"_Thank_ you for letting me know that, Xion," Axel said in exasperation.

"Alexa's still easier to say," Roxas mumbled.

I sighed. "Well, I'll have to save that interesting piece information for future use. Right now, it's getting late, and Father will be home soon-" It was amazing how fast my sister and brothers could move when they had the right motivation.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I take no credit for the "Alexa" bit. XD

Let's just ignore the fact that Sai's dad is rich enough for each of the four kids to have their own bedroom...

This fic was originally supposed to be for _Fire & Moonlight_. I had envisioned making the "Yours," "Mine," & "Ours" themes a set of three focusing on AkuSaiRokuShi (with the titles referring to Roxas & Xion from Saïx's perspective), but I had a huge fight with the word limit. There was just no way I could fit the concept into a grand total of 1,800 words, even when I tried making "short" and "long" versions. I was very upset for a while, but eventually I came up with a completely different idea for that set, and decided to just post these stepsibling stories together as an unrelated, multi-part one-shot. I guess I'll grudgingly admit that it's better this way, but it was incredibly frustrating to get to this point. *sigh*

Anyway. My KH OTP is platonic AkuSai, my OT3 is platonic AkuRokuShi, so I guess it was inevitable that they'd eventually produce an OT4 together. ^^;

...I didn't intend for Xemnas to be Saïx's dad. I don't WANT Xem to be Sai's dad, ugh. But...the way I wrote it...he very well could be. DX _But he doesn't have to be_, so there!  
>...Though if their dad really is Xem, then they definitely also have an Uncle Xigbar. XD<p>

If I ever get ideas for more ficlets in this universe, I'll add them onto the end of this story as new chapters.


	2. The Chapter of Fail

_**Fire & Moonlight**_** - ****The Chapter of Fail**

Summary: Raberba girl fails the challenge and has a meltdown.

A/N: YOU KNOW WHAT, I GIVE UP.

**82. Yours**

Once upon a time, there was a teenage boy named Saïx. "Axel," he said, shoving five-year-old Roxas in his direction, "this is yours."

"Thanks, Saïx!" Axel said.

To be continued!

**83. Mine**

Saïx held up six-year-old Xion. "And this is mine," he added.

"I like her! She is very cute."

"Your compliment is accepted."

To be continued again!

**84. Ours**

"Together," both boys proclaimed, "they are OURS!"

The end.

Author's Notes: GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH. Just go read "Stepsiblings." While you do that, I'm going to curl up in this corner here and cry while nursing all the bruises I got from headdesking so hard over this set. -.-

Seriously, though. The "Ours" prompt induced honest-to-God liquid in my eyes, the word count limit was _that frustrating_.

Complete, sort of, not really: 84/101. Next: "Who" a.k.a. "The Return To Actual Challenge Participation"

DX ;; DX ;; DX ;; DX ;; DX

Author's Notes: LOL, I had fully intended to post this as part of _Fire & Moonlight_ when I first wrote it. XD Luckily, a new plot bunny for the challenge showed up pretty quickly, but sad and lame and ridiculous as this is, it still kind of makes me laugh. ^^; This is why I'm sticking it onto the end here instead of deleting it like I definitely should.


	3. Another Side: Axel

Stepsiblings: Another Side

**(ROUGH DRAFT)**

A Kingdom Hearts fanfic by Raberba girl

Summary: Saïx & Xion's father is engaged to marry Axel & Roxas's mom. This version is from Axel's perspective.

Introduction to the rest of the series: I already mentioned in the original _Stepsiblings_ story how I came to write this series. Although I vaguely thought that I might later get some more ideas for AkuSaiRokuShi stories in the same universe, I didn't have anything specific in mind. Then, talking with Taliax got me more interested in writing about Saïx's mother and his uncle Xigbar, and I also realized that of all the possible AkuSaiRokuShi pairs, AkuShi was the only one that got left out, so I wanted to fill that gap. I figured that if I was going to be writing another installment anyway, then I might as well do an "Another Side" parallel version from Axel's POV. Then suddenly I got FLOODED with ideas for more stories, and now I'm hopelessly trying and failing to keep up. I thought at first that I'd try to complete the series before posting, but it's just gotten too long and is still growing and I can't write fast enough, so I finally gave up and decided to just start posting stories even though not all of them are ready. They're supposed to pretty much be standalones, anyway.

This first sequel is basically the "pilot episode" as told from Axel's POV as opposed to Saïx's. I ended up doing one for Roxas as well, so it only seems fair that Xion should get a turn, too (I'm trying to write hers, it's just giving me more trouble than the boys' versions did). After that is an exposition story that I'll need to get posted quickly, and then I can start on the rest. There's an awful lot of Christmas ones. *sweatdrop* I was also thinking of trying out a couple of drabble challenges set in this universe.

I'm pretty sure I'm going to divide this into three sub-series. This one here is the main one, and I'll try to keep it focused on AkuSaiRokuShi fluff. Once Axel & Saïx get older and move away, the dynamics and focus change a lot, so I thought I should group those stories separately (they'll involve a lot more of the KH cast). I'll also need yet another separation for the darker fics...for example, Axel & Saïx did not have great childhoods, and I felt uncomfortable letting those stories too close to the cuter ones in this series, so I'm going to separate those as well.

**Let's talk about Saïx & Xion's father. Xem is **_**modeled**_** after Xemnas - same looks, imagery, associations, etc. - but I do not consider them to be the same character. I did not intend for Saïx's father to be Xemnas, and for some reason, I find the thought of that really disturbing. However, Xemnas's looks/imagery/etc. fit well with the story, so I maintain that the Xem in this series is either an "OC" based on Xemnas, or a completely and totally OOC Xemnas.** If I'd intended to include the real Xemnas, I would have written him much differently.

**I almost always prioritize characterization over everything else, but I found myself making an exception for this series. In these stories, I tend to emphasize thematic material over trying to get everyone as perfectly IC as I can. Saïx in particular kept throwing me off, though a lot of that had to do with the fact that this is an AU where he's a complete being rather than a Nobody.**

**Part 1**

It's Roxas's fault that Mom abandoned me at my 11th birthday party.

Not that I mind _now_, of course; but back then, I was pretty ticked. I already kind of resented that bump in Mom's stomach anyway, and then when we were still kind of setting up and only a couple of people had arrived, all of a sudden Mom starts yelling about broken water.

So Dad (not that I was calling him "Dad" yet back then) rushed her to the hospital and left me behind with Demyx and Gippal and a living room full of balloons. With First-Cousin-Once-Removed-But-I-Just-Call-Him-Uncle Reno and his friend Rude as the only adults in charge. Yeah. Basically, I had a sulk-fest, my friends cheerfully tore the place apart, and there was a fire truck and a couple of police cars involved by the end of it.

That's not what I remember most about the week of my 11th birthday, though. The memory that stands out to me like a beacon is Mom and Dad bringing their new kid home from the hospital.

I was just sitting there watching TV, minding my own business. Mom and Dad came in looking harassed, because apparently their bundle of joy hadn't stopped squalling the entire way home. Everyone was fussing over Mom, someone dumped the baby in my arms, and just as I was leaning away from the constant screeching and trying to figure out how to get rid of the baby, he suddenly got quiet. Yawned the most adorable tiny yawn and snuggled quietly against my chest like he trusted me completely.

That was the moment when I decided that I was going to be the best big brother in the universe, or die trying.

**Part 2**

Roxas is a smart kid. Mom doesn't believe me and still keeps freaking out at the merest _hint_ of matches or lighters coming anywhere near her baby, but she really is overreacting. I'm teaching him. I would never let Roxas get hurt or in trouble, I'm not _stupid_.

"Good. Now remember, don't hold the match head down, because the flame will eat the stick faster and then try to bite your fingers. You gotta always keep the sulfur high, got it memorized?"

"Yeah," he murmurs, his face scrunched in concentration.

"That's right, just brush it against the very edges-"

"I _know_."

I laugh and try to back off. "All right, all right, just checking."

He touches the flame gently against the corners of crumpled newspaper, not lingering once he sees that they've caught the fire. Then he tosses the match among the other sticks and settles back into my lap.

Together, we watch in silence for a while as the fire grows like a curious living creature, licking uncertainly at the wood like it's not sure what to do with it yet. Then it figures it out and pounces, eagerly feeding, casting the once-dark wood into an intense red glow.

It's beautiful. Soothing, even. I could watch for hours.

"Is it big enough to toast marshmallows now?"

I laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. Here." I pick up one of the skewers, stick a marshmallow on the end, and hand it to my brother.

**Part 3**

So apparently Mom's serious enough about this one to want us to meet his kids.

"I don't care _how_ many boys my age he's got, I don't want anything to do with them."

"Axel, _please_. It will be fun! We're going to enjoy ourselves at Wonder World today and get to know each other better-"

"Mom, he's got the creepiest eyes ever. What do you see in that guy?" The next bit shoots out without getting permission from my brain first. "Besides his money, that is."

Her eyes narrow, and I focus on not flinching as she raises her hand, but she catches herself before actually hitting me. "I want a better life for you and Roxas," she says tightly, clasping her hands together in a deliberate way. "I'm through with running after men just for their looks or charm."

"So now you want someone with pretty hair who flatters you AND has money."

Her jaw clenches. "Axel, you are really pushing it," she grinds out.

Yeah, I kinda am. The thing is, I'm angry, too. It's bad enough having to stress out over keeping Roxas safe and figuring out how to explain things when the boyfriends are all in the background. What am I supposed to do when she tries to make this guy a part of our lives as well as hers?

"Mom," I say as a compromise, "can you even _picture_ Mr. Glowy Eyes running around an amusement park? I'm telling you, he'll be a total killjoy."

"You only think that because you barely know him!"

"Even if I did, I reeeaaally doubt I'd be impressed."

We meet at a fast food restaurant near the outer edge of the parking lot. As usual, my family's running late, and Mom shoves us out of the car in a breathless rush.

Xem is instantly noticeable as soon as we walk in. He's sipping coffee and filling out paperwork - _in a fast food joint_, with an open briefcase on the seat beside him and everything. And he's wearing a _suit_. He is seriously expecting to frolic around an amusement park all day in a _freaking business suit_?

The guy across from him - takes a minute to realize he's about my age - is only a little better, wearing slacks and a button-down shirt with his nose buried in _The Grapes of Wrath_. Yeah, hanging out with these freaks is gonna be a blast.

The next instant, however, I notice something else: a small, dark-haired figure in a purple dress, with a smear of ketchup on her cheek, munching on French fries as she gallops a sparkly purple My Little Pony over the tabletop.

She is the second most adorable thing I have ever seen in my life. And I've got the strangest urge to snatch her up and rescue her from the sorry excuse for a family she seems to have been saddled with.

"Neigh, neigh!" she calls softly, trotting the pony up her brother's shoulder. "Quick, get up the mountain before the dragon comes!"

He brushes her away without even looking up from his book. "Stop that."

Instant hate. I am never going to get along with this guy, _ever_.

"Xem!" Mom calls, hurrying over. He looks up almost curiously. "Oh, Xem, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be late again, it's just that there was something wrong with our water heater this morning and the boys were driving me crazy, Roxas was being picky about breakfast and Axel just _refused_ to get out of bed..."

Thanks, Mom.

Xem is getting up to meet us, giving Mom a kiss on the cheek. "Don't worry about it, darling, we haven't been waiting long."

"That's right. Only 52 minutes. Not long at all," adds a low voice.

My head whips around and I glare at the nerdy boy, who is _still_ glued to his book. Then he raises his head, and my breath seems to stop in my throat.

It's awful. The only thing worse than Xem's freaky amber eyes is seeing them in a kid's face. I recognize that look, which is why I now avoid Xem as much as possible; only this is worse. Xem's eyes, when he looks at me like that, are kind of like lasers, like he's seeing straight into my thoughts and can rip me apart through sheer force of will if he feels like it. This is different, like the guy is trying to beat me up. With his freaking _eyes_. And it's freaking WORKING.

Right then and there, I decide that I'm never going to cringe for this guy. No matter how much his eyes hurt to look at, I am stronger than him, and I will prove it.

I plant both hands on the tabletop, leaning in close so that I'm looming over him and practically pinning him in his seat. My reward is watching his expression change to surprise, mild alarm, and annoyance, which makes me grin wildly. "Hi! I'm Axel!"

He is starting to lean away, though he quickly catches himself. Excellent. I'm getting to him. I probably don't have a prayer of bothering him as much as he's bothering me, but at least I'm not completely defenseless.

"My name is Saïx," he says coolly. "Now that we have made each other's acquaintance, you may remove yourself from my immediate vicinity."

"Sorry, I don't speak Nerd. Nice gangster scars, by the way. Took me a while to notice, though; I was so distracted by how ridiculously freaky your eyes are."

"_Axel_!" Mom says sharply. She'd been making other introductions, but now she's noticing what I'm up to. "Behave!"

"Don't feel like it," I say, still having a staredown with those eyes. I swear, it feels like they are trying to rip straight through my chest, but I'm not going to let them win. I _refuse_ to be the one to back down.

"I think he likes your eyes, big brother," says a hesitant little voice.

Okay. I didn't _lose_. I just got...distracted. I look down and see the little girl hiding behind Saïx McDoomgaze's chair, peeping out at me with an _eatably_ adorable expression of shy curiosity.

The grin splitting my face now is genuine. I actually forget about Saïx as I shift and rest my chin on my palm. "Well, hello there, princess. Who's your little pony friend?"

"Twilight Sparkle," she whispers, shrinking back a little more even as her eyes light up.

"That's a _gorgeous_ name," I gush. The most outrageously girly name she could have possibly given that thing, but whatever; that in itself is cute.

"It's a ridiculous name," her brother grumbles, reminding me that he, unfortunately, still exists.

"Hey," I ask her without missing a beat, "if your big brother here was a pony, what would _his_ name be?"

Looking delighted, she responds with zero hesitation, "Saïx's pony name is Moonwolf Crescent, and Daddy is Dragongold."

The only reason I don't burst into appreciative, gleeful laughter is because I don't want to hurt her feelings. Saïx's horrified gasp is music to my ears. "You couldn't have just made those up right n-" He breaks off, but it's too late.

"What's the matter, bro?" I ask sweetly. "Don't like your pony name?"

"Of course not," he says shortly. "She has no business coming up with something like that."

Crap, I keep forgetting that not everyone's automatically nice to kids. I quickly look back at her, thinking up some things to say for damage control, but to my surprise, she doesn't look upset at all. "That's why I didn't tell you your pony name all this time, Saïx, because you wouldn't like it. But don't worry, I thought and I thought until I had the beautifullest pony name for you, and I kept it a secret until the man with the red hair asked."

Aw, she called me a man. So cute!

"Xion, the point of something being a secret is that you don't tell _anyone_," he says tightly.

Mom clears her throat. "WELL, now that we've all met each other, I'd say it's time to get going, don't you think?"

"You can order something here for yourself, if you like," Xem says. "Or we can set out for the park now. It's up to you, my sweet."

Ugh. Sap overload.

"I think it's best if we just got started," Mom says, glaring at me.

"Very well. Saïx, Xion, come."

I finally lean back, amused when Saïx gets up at last after having been stuck in his chair the whole time. Xion runs around and grabs my hand with a look of hopeful apprehension, then beams when I smile and give her hand a squeeze. Seriously, whose idea was it to deprive this poor kid of a decent big brother?

"So your name's Princess Xion, huh?" I say.

She nods shyly, clutching Twilight Sparkle.

"Beautiful. I'm Axel."

"Who's that?" she asks.

I look where she's pointing and laugh. My brother is standing with folded arms, eyes narrowed, fixing me with his sulkiest glare. "That grumpy little boy is called Roxas. Maybe you should go over and give him a hug."

"Okay!" Taking me seriously, she runs over and wraps her arms around Roxas without hesitation.

He jerks in surprise. "Hey!"

She pulls back, beaming. "I'm Xion! You're my friend now, okay?"

Roxas gives me an indignant look as I walk up. "She hugged me!"

"'Cuz I told her to."

His mouth drops open. "_Why_?"

"Because you looked like you wanted a hug, Mr. Sulky Boots."

"Not from a _girl_," he grumbles.

"What, are you jealous that I made friends with another small cute person?"

"Don't be confusing," Roxas pouts, making me laugh again.

Saïx spooks me when he seems to _materialize_ by my shoulder. "Come, Xion."

"I'm coming," she says in puzzlement.

He draws her toward his other side, farther away from me as we all head for the door after our parents. "Stay away from them."

I want to throttle this guy. "Kinda defeats the purpose of hanging out together, _Moonwolf Crescent_," I say, trying not to sound as ticked-off as I really am.

He stops and pins me with those freaking eyes of his again, so suddenly that I just barely remember to stand my ground. "'Together' implies the six of us, not just you and my sister. Are you saying you intend to enjoy the company of my father and I just as much?"

Well...he kind of had me there.

"I didn't think so...Teardrop Flurryflame." Then he is out the door, towing the confused-looking Xion by the hand, leaving me staring after him in open-mouthed shock.

"What's a furryfame?" Roxas asks.

"...Someone who's gonna need to stay on his toes. This one's a worthy opponent."

"Don't be confusing."

**Part 4**

Xem at least changes out of the suit once we get there. Saïx stays in his ridiculous outfit, looking completely out of place amidst all the tourists in their shorts and T-shirts and flip-flops and goofy hats.

"You look really dumb in that getup, Moonwolf."

"Call me that again and I'll..."

I don't really hear the actual threat, I'm too preoccupied trying to fend off his doomgaze. I can tell that he's putting effort into it this time, zeroing in on me with those stupid beatdown eyes. It's enough to make me silently vow to never call him by his pony name again, though of course I'd die before admitting that aloud. "Seriously," I manage, trying not to sound out of breath. "Do you even own a pair of shorts? Or maybe you're just too embarrassed to let everyone see your milky white chicken legs or something."

He frowns, causing my heart to seem to twist. "Why isn't it working?" he mutters, almost under his breath.

Hah. HAH. I beat your doomgaze, I _beat it_. "What did you say? Cooouuuldn't quite catch that," I lie smugly.

He glares at me and turns away without answering.

"Saïx, stop giving Axel yellow eyes, that's mean," Xion scolds. I love this girl, I really do.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he says haughtily.

Liar. "Neither do I," I add defiantly.

"Neither do I," Roxas complains. "You are talking _over my head_." He learned that phrase from his teacher, and now he accuses us of it when we say things he doesn't understand.

Mom turns back to us from where she's been walking arm-in-arm with Xem. "Hey, let's go on the Ferris wheel first! That's a nice easy ride to get us into the spirit of things, right?"

"You ride the Ferris wheel at night," Xion announced. "The very last one. You sit there when they stop the wheel and look at the stars and the moon, and you tell Mommy you love her. Then you come down again and go home."

Huh?

Mom laughs uncertainly. "Oh...I see. Well, why don't you pick the first ride for us, Xion sweetie?"

Her eyes light up. "Really?" Okay! I pick the one where they drop you down from the top of the tower!" We all look where she's pointing. Oh, yes, _yes_.

"I'm not going anywhere near that thing," Saïx declares flatly.

OF COURSE.

"Xion, we've been over this," Xem says sternly. "There is a height requirement that will take you a _long time_ to reach. Stop asking for that one."

Darn. "Maybe we non-pansy adults can ride it while the party pooper stays with the kids," I say snidely. Saïx reacts to the insult about the same way a rock would.

Roxas digs his nails into my flesh, demanding, "Don't leave me." He doesn't get like that unless he feels unsafe, so I immediately look around. Should've realized sooner that it's the doomgaze. Not Xem's, even though Roxas is always a little nervous around Xem; now it's Saïx pointing his own doomgaze straight at my little brother. I mean, he's just looking in Roxas's direction, but when you know what your eyes can do to other people, how can you even _think_ of looking at some poor defenseless kid?

I scoop Roxas into my arms and he hides his face against me as I glare. _'Back off, freak.'_ Those horrible yellow eyes are hitting at me again, but this time I barely feel it. I would gladly stand between Roxas and _anything_ trying to hurt him. Saïx had better keep his distance.

"Saaaiiix," Xion whines, tugging at his sleeve, "I _told_ you to stop being mean to Axel! We're supposed to be having fun, not fighting!"

"That's right," Xem says in this heavy, meaningful tone, and to my satisfaction, Saïx looks away.

We do try a few things together. Bumper cars, for example. Mom and I roar around the place like maniacs, Xem with a sort of pained smile at her side and Roxas whooping happily beside me. Ramming Saïx's car repeatedly would be a lot more fun if he didn't just sit there looking sulky while Xion does all the driving. "I'm gonna get you!" she screams eagerly at me, and I call back, "No, I'm gonna get _you_!" while really directing all my aggressive thoughts at her snooty bored passenger.

We try one of the kiddy roller coasters. We sit through a show. Then, while eating ice cream, we decide to let Mom go off with Xem - which I wouldn't mind at all, except that I'm stuck with Saïx as well as the kids.

We stand facing each other once the lovebirds leave, as if it's a battle. "So," I finally say, because he's not saying a word, just standing there trying to doomgaze me to death. Xion's not coming to my rescue this time, either. "You got anything in mind for what to do next?"

"Yes. You could lose track of me, take the children off my hands, and leave me in peace until we can finally go home."

Unbe-freaking-lieveable. "You know what, fine. I'm turning my back." I do so, pulling the wary-looking Roxas with me. "Oh, no!" I cry exaggeratedly. "I can't see Saïx! Where could he _possibly_ have gone?"

"He's right behind you," Roxas points out, sounding like he thinks I've gone crazy.

"Oh _dear_!" I go on. "It seems like we've _lost_ him in this huge crowd! Shall we look for him, or should we just forget him and enjoy ourselves?" I bend down to Xion's level, even though she's gazing off at her brother. "What do you think, Xion? Should we go and look for Saïx?"

"He's running away," she says uncertainly.

He's _what_? This I have to see, but when I quickly turn around, Saïx is just walking off at a normal pace, without a smidgen of undignifiedness for me to gloat at. "Ah, let him go, it's not like he wanted to hang out with us. So!" I say brightly, resting my hands on my knees, "where do you kiddos want to go next?"

Xion is a little glum at first, which kind of amazes me, the way she can miss that brother of hers even though he's so awful. Eventually, though, she and Roxas both seem to be having the time of their lives, galloping from one attraction to another and trying (...with some success...) to convince me to squeeze myself onto rides designed for six-year-olds.

"Again, Axel, again!"

"NO. I will stand here and cheer like a maniac every time your car passes by, but I am _not_ riding that thing again!"

Mom apparently texted me about lunch, but by the time I check my messages, I've already bought the kids some stuff to eat. Then I don't hear from Mom again until late afternoon, when she calls to say that Xem has some work to take care of at home.

"Well, let him go, then! Why does he have to drag the rest of us off, too?"

_"Axel, that's no fun, enjoying ourselves when someone has to work!"_

"Seeing as it's Xem, that actually makes it even bett-"

_"Axel,"_ she growls. _"Stop it. The whole point of us coming here was so we could enjoy each other's company, and-"_

"Oh, you mean you were magically enjoying our company from halfway across the park all day?"

_"Axel Deucalion Hayes, you had better zip those lips of yours before they get you into even more trouble."_

"Okay, okay, okay, I'll be good. So you want me to bring Roxas and Xion to the front gates or something?"

_"Yes, we'll meet by that statue of the zebra. Saïx is with you, too, right?"_

Urk. "Yeah, he'll be with us. See you soon, Mom." I quickly hang up, grimacing. Saïx, if it's a huge pain trying to find you, I swear I'll...

Of course I haven't been smart enough to get his phone number before he walked out on us. Wait, _he's_ the one who left, _he_ should have remembered to give us his number. Moron. "Roxas! Xion! Let's go Saïx-hunting!"

"Yay!" Xion cheers.

"Do we have to?" Roxas whines.

I guess it makes sense that Xion is the best at it. She has us looking at corner tables in restaurants and isolated benches. We finally find him in a dead end of something called a hedge maze, and I discover that it wasn't the usual touristy stuff he'd had packed in his bag. He's sitting there with papers and notebooks and a couple of textbooks and a tiny _laptop_ arranged around him. The guy was doing schoolwork. AT AN AMUSEMENT PARK. There's even a group of tourists taking photos of him, I kid you not.

Xion scampers up to him happily. "Hi, Saïx! Did you finish all your homework?"

"Just about," he says, sounding almost cheerful himself. About as cheerful as a monotone can get, anyway.

"We were looking for you! I won," she says proudly, then turns to me. "Right, Axel, I won?"

"Definitely." I determinedly do not wince when Saïx's eyes zero in on me.

"Are we leaving?"

"Yeah. And because you stupidly didn't give us your phone number, it took ages to find you, and now Mom's gonna chew us out for being late."

"It never occurred to you to call your mother so she could get my number from Father?"

I really, really hate this guy. If Mom does end up marrying Xem and making the freaks part of our family, I _swear_ I will throttle Saïx in his sleep.

**Part 5**

I'm not _stupid_, I just...didn't take the benchmark exams seriously, and I learned my lesson, okay, I do _not_ need to get sent to exam prep classes every week.

Of course Mom doesn't listen. Because now she insists that I'm making her look bad to Xem, Mr. I-Have-Evil-Glowy-Eyes-And-Straight-A-Honor-Students-For-Children, and we _can't_ have Mom looking _bad_ now, can we?

The only up side is that Demyx is doing the tutoring, too. I have someone to hang out with before and after sessions, and it makes it easier to scrounge rides home.

"So is your lame band ever getting out of the garage, or have you finally given it up as a lost cause?"

"My BAND OF AWESOME is just...on hiatus for a bit 'til the lead singer's teachers stop piling so much dang homework on him," he sighs.

"Summer vacation, man."

"Summer vacation," Demyx agrees fervently.

Mom was smart to wait. My phone doesn't buzz until about ten minutes 'til the end of the session, but the tutor is giving me the normal human version of a doomgaze, and I don't dare check the message. As soon as I'm free to pack up to leave, I reach for my phone.

_date tonite pc at Xem house_

"_pc_," short for "precious," is Roxas, because Mom gushes over him as if she subconsciously thinks it might stop him from leaving her like his dad did. Which is stupid, since Dad left because of _her_ cheating, and I'm still convinced he would have come back to her if he hadn't gotten killed.

More importantly right now, Mom is _gone_, with _Xem_ - which means, what? Roxas is at Xem's house? With _who_? Not...Saïx, surely not that yellow-eyed freak who can scare the crap out of a kid just by looking at him and I have to freaking get there NOW. "Demyx, I need a ride again."

"Sure. My brother just texted me and said he's about five minutes away."

"Tell him to TELEPORT."

"Huh?"

As soon as we pull up to Xem's house, I jump out of the car and run for the front door. To my surprise, it opens before I can even try the handle.

Saïx stands framed in the light from the front hall in all his evil glory, holding my little brother like some kid-eating ogre. I'm seriously ready to fight him tooth and nail to get my brother back, but he catches me off guard by actually shoving Roxas at me. "Here, this is yours."

My voice sounds a little weird, I'm so frantic to see if he's all right. "Rox-my-socks! You fell asleep, buddy?" He'd _better_ just be sleepy, because if he's like this from the doomgaze or having his blood sucked or _anything_, I am going to break Saïx's neck.

Roxas blinks those beautiful blue eyes at me, full of sweet sleepiness and not a trace of fear or desperation or panic. He holds up his hand and orders me to look at it in his "Please spoil me rotten" voice. That in itself should be a relief, but I'm too horrified by the sight of the huge bandage to notice. "Ehhhh, what happened to you?" I yell, setting him down on the closest chair and vowing to kill Saïx.

"Me and Saïx tried to toast marshmallows, like you showed me last time."

Um. What?

My brain kind of broke because of that, but finally I manage to look up at Saïx himself, who starts doomgazing me for all he's worth.

...Sort of. Searching his face, I got the strangest sense that the intensity of his expression isn't from evil or hatred at all. He doesn't even seem mad. There's something else going on that I can't quite figure out.

"Roxas burned his hand on the poker," he says in this cold monotone, already packing up his laptop and books. It's really weird, seeing Saïx with a Disney movie playing on the screen behind him.

Wait, why was Saïx even in the same _room_ as a Disney movie?

"You burned your _hand_?" I exclaim, suddenly interested in Saïx but still caring much more about Roxas at the moment. "Aw, man, let me see, kiddo."

It hurts, seeing those welts on his tiny palm, as if I've been the one to have gotten injured instead. I _wish_ I had. Roxas...most likely got the idea to play with fire from me. And I'd tried to teach him to be safe, but he's just a little kid, maybe Mom was right, and man I am so, so, so _stupid_, I should have never let Roxas near open flame and made him think it was okay...

Wait, "Saïx let you handle the poker?" Well, maybe Roxas had just reached for it when Saïx's back was turned, easy enough accident.

But even as I'm thinking that, Roxas is already saying, "Uh...yeah."

... "Saïx was watching you, and he let you pick it up?"

Roxas is a horrible liar. He stares at me like he hopes I'll give him the right answer. "Um, yes?"

I narrow my eyes and plant both palms on either side of him. He squirms and tries to move back, but of course there isn't really anywhere for him to go. "Roxas Aubade, you are lying to me."

"I'm not lying," he says defensively. "I'm giving 'selective details.'"

That is exactly what I always say to Mom when she catches me tweaking the truth. It's becoming blindingly clear that I've been a bad influence on this kid. Big brother fail. Maybe someone should just shoot me before I can mess up Roxas even more.

I take a deep breath and try to say calmly, "Roxas, something went wrong tonight, and you got hurt. I need to know _exactly_ what happened so that I can..." So that I can what? "So that I can make sure it doesn't happen again," I finish lamely.

He gives me a long, wary look. Is he seriously deciding how much he can trust me with? The thought makes me want to cry. For so long it's meant so much to me, knowing how much Roxas believes in me, and I try so hard to be worthy of that. If he really is losing trust in me, then I...

"No one will play with me," Roxas finally says. "You and Mommy left me alone. I tried to do what Xion said, but I think Saïx was hiding from me because it didn't work until I burned my hand. Then he was scary and I was scared, but when I stopped being scared I could see it. So I guess it worked, but it hurt, and I got tired and fell asleep in _Aladdin_."

What the heck is this kid talking about? "What do you mean about Xion? She told you to do something?"

"Remember when you taught me how to fight Saïx's eyes?" Roxas says seriously. "It didn't work, so I asked Xion. She said if you like Saïx and Xem, then their eyes aren't scary unless they're mad for real. So I tried to like Saïx. But he was in his room and he wouldn't look at me, just kept staring at his book and his computer."

Saïx...had..._avoided_ using those horrible eyes on Roxas?

It's not like you can choose your natural eye color, after all. The doomgaze is just something he was born with, right? Maybe all this time I've... But, no, I don't want to be wrong and have to swallow my pride and be nice, it's so much easier just to hate him and blame him for all the changes Mom is forcing into our lives-

"He was mean, so I got mad and tried to play by myself. But my hand burned, and Saïx was really mad but when he was putting my hand in the sink and it wasn't hurting, I wasn't scared anymore, and I looked at his eyes. Xion's right. He wasn't mad, he was scared and he wanted to fix me."

"...He told you that?"

"His eyes did."

I totally don't get it. "Well, I'll look into that, but first, buddy, you and me need to have a talk about fire and things called conductors..."

Saïx had done a better first aid job on Roxas than I expected. When I try wrapping it up again, the bandage looks too loose and lopsided. I sit Roxas back in front of _Aladdin_, telling him to get ready to walk to the subway with me soon. First, though, I need to have a chat with my future stepbrother.

I walk straight into his room and see pretty quickly what Roxas meant, at least about Saïx not even raising his head when I try to talk to him. I sit right on his desk, hoping to get his attention.

"You're still a stuck-up nerdy rich boy, but anyone who'll take care of my little brother the way you did can't be all bad." I don't hate him anymore. And we're not exactly close - for all I know, he could be totally different around people he's comfortable with. Still, looking at him doesn't exactly give me warm fuzzy feelings... I'll admit it, I'm overprotective of my little brother. I cannot cannot _cannot_ stand the thought of him getting hurt. I can't decide how I'm supposed to be feeling right now...

Suddenly, the most amazing thing happens. Saïx is blathering something about a chart, but I don't even hear it, I'm so distracted. Saïx is blushing. _Blushing_. There is actual color blooming on that pale skin of his. "I knew it! Your 'Rawr, I'm a jerk' thing is an act."

He gets all flustered. It's...kind of... I mean, it's just funny. I didn't even know Saïx _could_ get flustered. Or blush.

"And just so the record is straight, Roxas got hurt in the first place because I was holed up in my room, neglecting to notice that he was _starting a fire_ downstairs."

Way to try to make me hate you again, though I kind of saw it coming. I reach out and smack my fist against Saïx's head - even though he kind of made up for it later on, he's still an _idiot_ for letting Roxas get hurt in the first place.

To my surprise, he just kind of sits there and takes it, not even retaliating with his eyes. Like he knows he deserves it. That's the moment when I forgive him completely, of everything. He's still not even close to being my favorite person on the planet, but I can work with this. It won't be the nightmare I thought it'd be, having this guy for a brother.

"Dumb of him, too," I go on, "but since I already chewed him out and forgave him, I guess I'll forgive you, too."

He's startled into actually looking at me for the first time since I walked in, and Ohhhh. I finally get _exactly_ what Roxas meant now. For a split second, I think that Saïx is just shooting me with his usual doomgaze, but then I realize that the emotions aren't hostile at all. There's...guilt there, above all else, and shame and a little bit of anger and some indignation. It's the weirdest thing, like I can _see_ what he's feeling.

Maybe that's what Xion meant. That you have to like these golden-eyed creeps before you can understand them, as if liking them is some sort of code-breaker. Talk about wearing your heart on your sleeve... If you don't know the trick, Saïx - and his dad, I assume - are walking weapons. Once you have the key, though, they become like open books.

This is going to be _so fun_.

**Part 6**

Aaaahhhh! When one cute thing is doing something cute with another cute thing, it's long since stopped being just a cutefest, now it's like a whole party of adorable.

Okay, look, despite the weakness, I don't _squee_ over things, okay? I just don't. ...On the outside. But if there ever was an exception, it'd be for my little brother Roxas and now my new sister Xion, because those two just...I just _belong_ to them or something, they can do whatever they want with me because there's no way I can ever resist them.

So I'm standing there watching Roxas and Xion dance, trying not to let the squee be too obvious, and finally I can't help it, I have to share with someone who'll _understand_, who knows that these aren't just a couple of random cute kids at a wedding. Saïx, Saïx, where is Saïx, oh come on it can't be hard to find a guy with a foot-long blue ponytail and eyes like weapons...

Granted, Xem seems to have an annoying abundance of long-haired, deadly-eyed relatives, but whatever. My brother - the newest one - should still be sticking out like the awkward misfit he is.

There!

Aw, for crying out loud, Uncle Reno's got him backed up against a wall and is entertaining himself by harassing his new nephew. Poor Sai's doomgazing for all he's worth, but it's not working because I kinda told Uncle Reno the key, and my uncle's weakness is...a little different than mine. Besides blowing things up, flirting with women whose lives he'll ruin if they get seriously involved with him, and out-drinking anyone who's up for a challenge, his fourth hobby is making cute things squirm.

"C'mon, this is your uncle Reno you're talkin' to! Just tell me the name of your rival gang, or even their symbol or colors or something, and I'll bust in there and avenge your face for you."

"I TOLD you. There is a perfectly mundane explanation; I've never had a physical altercation in my life."

"You'd be doing me a favor, you know. Been way too long since my boss's let me knock some heads..."

I swoop in to the rescue, shoving past Uncle Reno and grabbing his victim's arm. "Sai! You gotta come see what my little brother and your little sister are doing!"

For some reason, he looks like I've just told him that the kids want to adopt a pet alligator or something, his eyes start blaring _alarm urgency shame anger protect_.

"Relax, they're fine," I tell him as we go back to the dance floor.

I stand there and wait eagerly for his reaction. He doesn't say anything for a long time, and I don't rush him, just let him savor it. Finally he says, "Axel...what you said earlier was wrong."

"Huh?"

"He's not just your brother, and she's not just my sister. Not anymore."

Heh heh. He gets it. "Yeah. They're ours, right?"

He gives me a surprised look. "Unfortunately, yes." _unhappiness shame wistfulness regret longing_

Geez, Sai, what's your problem? I punch his shoulder, trying to get his attention and hoist him out of Angstland. "Why's that 'unfortunate,' bro?"

He gives me this look like he's sizing me up. _hope fear shame frustration goodwill trust apprehension_ And a little trace of joy, buried in all that silly angst. I'm really glad I have the key now, it's amazing.

Instead of making some dry insult like usual, he says something serious, which I'm half-expecting because he's kind of said it already with his eyes. "Because it gets harder when there's more to care about."

Poor Sai. Opening yourself up to the pain of loving someone...he minds it a lot more than I do. "That's true." He looks so unhappy. No one who's not in unrequited love with the bride or groom should be that angsty at a wedding. "Dance with me," I say.

His glare would have been clear enough even without magical talking eyes. _"Are you crazy? Drop dead."_

"I'm serious, dance with me! Our parents just got married, you need to be smiling more."

"Trust me, dancing is _not_ going to produce such results."

"Here, I'll let you be the guy," I say, trying to take his hands.

He steps back out of my reach. "_No_."

"Saiiiiiiiix!" I whine.

"Leave me alone."

"Party pooper."

He just glares at me. _embarrassment indignation anxiety sadness apprehension_

As I'm standing there reading him, his scars catch my attention again. I kind of forget about them most of the time, I'm so used to how Saïx looks now, but Uncle Reno made me curious. "How _did_ you get those, anyway?"

"What?"

I reach out to touch the part where they cross. "These."

He ducks away, obviously bothered. It occurs to me how little I've actually touched his skin despite all the time we've spent together. In fact, not counting handshakes and stuff, this is the first time I can remember.

"Don't touch me."

Flaming pants, what's wrong with him?

_pain hurt betrayal insecurity fear grief_

"Saïx?" I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. I hadn't meant to hurt him. For crying out loud, he'd said it was mundane. Liar.

He pushes my hand away. "You're getting on my nerves. I need a break."

He stalks away, and I'm still reeling from what I saw, how badly his heart was crying even though his eyes were dry. "Saïx..."

I wander around talking to people and munching on snacks, but I can't get Saïx out of my mind.

Uncle Reno and Xigbar are yelling in a corner, apparently battling it out in some kind of wireless cell phone game. I go over to watch and wait, and a minute later, Xigbar whoops jeeringly as Uncle Reno starts cussing at him.

"They're gonna kick you guys out," I say.

"Let 'em try!" Uncle Reno yells. Rude walks by and tells him to shut up.

When I get Xigbar alone, I ask, "Hey, what's up with Saïx's scars? How'd he get them?"

"Finally got nosy about it, huh?"

"I'm his brother now, I'm allowed to be nosy about his personal life. I asked him about it, and he freaked out and went off to hide."

"Saïx freaked out?" Xigbar says interestedly.

"I mean, you know. With his eyes. Started spewing stuff at me like he'd just walked in on me making out with his girlfriend or something."

Xigbar gives me a thoughtful look. I'm used to their eyes by now, but sometimes they can still creep me out. I haven't figured out Xigbar's key yet, all I can do is wait it out and try hard not to flinch.

"So you really can read him, huh."

"Yeah. Pretty much as soon as I stopped hating him."

"Should have figured," he says, shaking his head with a smile. "I've never once seen you back down."

"Of course not. Gotta stand up for my pride as a mere mortal."

He laughs. "So you can read him, but you don't know how he got those scars?"

"Come on, it's not like I can read his _mind_. He just kind of broadcasts emotions at me."

Xigbar sighs. "Man, that kid needs to figure out how to Shield, he's gonna be in trouble if you ever turn on him."

"Hey! He's my brother, I'd _never_ turn on him!"

Xigbar's doing his version of the doomgaze again. It's not as...intense as Saïx's used to be, and it doesn't hurt. It's like knowing that a sniper you can't see has got you in his sights, as opposed to facing a loaded cannon. At least Xigbar and Xem can turn their doomgazes on and off. I don't think Saïx knows how to yet, since I've seen him send people literally running when the only thing in his eyes is curiosity.

Xigbar finally lets me go. "Fine, you pass."

"Didn't realize this was a test," I say dryly.

"Ahem." Xigbar leans back and props his arm on the tabletop. "Saïx was about seven or eight when the accident happened. His mom was driving while extremely sleep-deprived, nodded off at the wheel, and crashed into a wall. They both recovered, but Saïx was never the same again."

I sit there for a minute, absorbing this. "His mom drove them into a wall and he cut his face on flying glass?"

"More or less."

He's not doomgazing, exactly. But he's staring at me hard, like there's something he doesn't want to say out loud. _Secrets_, his eyes say. _Seek. More. Don't settle. Do you love him?_

"You tellin' me the truth?" I ask.

"Sure, kid."

"What do you expect me to do?"

Xigbar leans close to me. _Hold on tight. Be strong. Don't disappoint me._ "If Saïx really is your brother, then when things get tough..." He trails off expectantly.

"I'm sticking with him no matter what. I've got his back, just like he's got mine."

"I'm hearing you say it, so I'd better see you proving it." Xigbar taps his finger against the tabletop. "You and Xion and Xem are all he has. He'll come through eventually, but right now he's just a dumb kid. It's still your turn. Take care of him."

"Man, sometimes you yellow-eyed people make no sense at all."

He laughs.

I can't find Saïx _anywhere_. He's nowhere in the reception hall, he's not in the bathrooms, he's not outside. _'Okay. If I was an arrogant nerdy antisocial freak whose brother had just flashbacked me to a traumatic childhood accident, where would I hide?'_ Somewhere quiet, out of the way, where people wouldn't think to look for me.

He's in the groom's dressing room, sitting on the couch in the dark, working at the DS Roxas had been made to leave behind.

"Saïx! Are you playing a real, live, actual, honest-to-God video game?"

He doesn't answer. It's silent except for distant noise from the reception, and the game's tinny music and beeping echoing eerily in the room.

I turn the lights on and march over. "Hey. Saïx."

Still ignored. I sit down and drape my arm around his shoulders obnoxiously. He tries to huddle away, his eyes still fixed on the game. "Stop it. I'm fine."

Uh, no, you're not. "Saïx, I'm trying to talk to you."

Eyes and hands totally on the game, he awkwardly maneuvers out from under from my arm and tries to push me away with his foot.

I reach out with my left hand and set all five fingertips against his face. "I asked about these."

His video game character is screaming because he's too distracted to fight. "Don't touch me."

"They said your mom crashed the car into a wall."

He doesn't move or say anything for a long time. A GAME OVER message flashes on the screen.

"Get away from me and I'll tell you," he finally says.

I scoot back against the other arm of the sofa and wait.

He still doesn't move. Finally he closes his eyes so I can't read them anymore and says in this flat voice, "They said she was too tired to get behind the wheel of a car, but they weren't there. I was. She never fell asleep - she was trying to kill us both."

My heart seems to jump in my chest. Mom had told me once what'd happened to Xem's first wife, that she'd gone crazy and committed suicide. I hadn't been sure if Mom was just making up that story out of jealousy, or maybe pre-wedding jitters or something. But what Saïx just said-

He slumps down and puts his arm over his eyes even though they're already closed. His voice isn't quite flat this time. "I try not to think about it. Because every time I do, I always...she..." He pauses. I don't say anything. "If I'd...told the truth...maybe they would have done something about her, and Xion...she wouldn't have been able to hurt Xion back then..."

I stare at him. "Y...Your mom really...?" We don't say anything for a long time. The video game is looping its menu screen now, and the music is annoying. And...disrespectful. I reach over to close the DS, and it's suddenly silent in the room.

For a while I'm wondering what to do, it'll just make things worse trying to hug him or joke around or say that everything's gonna be okay and crap like that. He needs me so bad but he's completely shut me out. He can be so _stupid_.

...Heh. Xigbar was right about him. "I'll be right back."

Coming out of Saïx's hidey-hole into the noise of the reception is a relief, like I'd been in some other dimension and am returning to reality. But it's...also a little jarring, too. Just for a second. For the first time, I kind of get an idea of why he hides.

"Xion!" She and Roxas have made cars out of plates, ribbons, candlesticks, and napkin rings, and they're racing their weird creations in the back of the room. It's just a matter of time before someone notices and gets them in trouble. "Hey, I need you guys."

Roxas immediately runs to meet me. "Look at my car, Axel." He tries to show me, and a candlestick falls off.

"That's great! Hey, Xion. We need to cheer up Saïx. Let's have a picnic in the groom's dressing room."

"Yay!"

We grab some things and troop on over to the cave where Saïx is lying with a book sitting open on his chest, like he's trying to read it but can't focus.

"Saïx!" Xion immediately runs over and flings her arms around him.

"Xion-"

"What _happened_? What's _wrong_!"

"Nothing. Stop it."

"You look like your puppy got run over by a car!"

"What?" He looks annoyed now, which is way better than the car-ran-over-my-puppy look he'd had before.

"We're here to cheer you up, big brother!" She plants a huge kiss on his cheek.

"Augh! Xion!"

"Don't be sad," Roxas says, "we're okay." He notices the console on the coffee table. "Hey, did you steal my DS?"

When Mom and Xem find us, we've got a tablecloth spread on the floor with cake and fruit and soda, and iced tea for Saïx because he thinks soda melts brain cells or something. Saïx is beating Roxas at tic-tac-toe for the seventh time in a row, and I'm trying not to laugh because Roxas is mad and I can _see_ him getting ready to jump Saïx with a vengeful Tickle Attack of Doom. I'm also trying really hard not to mind that Xion is braiding my hair. It's not like I'm going to keep it like that when we go back out...I should just let her have her fun. Ugh, Xion, why do you have to be so little sisterish? Oh well. She's so cute, I guess it's worth it.

"What are you all _doing_?" Mom yells.

"Bonding," I say. I hold up a cup. "You want some soda?"

"No! Get back out there!" Her eyes widen. "Get those braids out of your hair and _then_ go out there!"

"But they're pretty," Xion insists.

Saïx puts down his cup and scoots over, totally not noticing Roxas trying to lunge at him. Roxas tumbles awkwardly into the curtains instead, and Saïx gives him a weird look before starting to comb the braids out of my hair with his fingers. "Lea is right. We've neglected the guests long enough, we need to return to our duties."

"You talk like partying is some kind of chore," I say. He gives me an exasperated look, and I'm kind of shocked to realize that he really _does_ see it that way. Good grief. Close as we've become, there are just some things I will never understand about him.

"Saïx," Xem says. That's all. But his eyes are saying _I'm disappointed in you_, and I can practically sense Saïx wilting.

"Forgive me, Father." He sounds so subdued, and no wonder with that doomgaze cooking him. I kneel up and put my hands on my hips to shield him. "Don't get your panties in a twist, we'll be right out." Saïx's hands tighten sharply in my hair, but I'm _not_ going to stand by and keep quiet.

"Please do so as soon as possible," Xem says, his eyes blasting me now. Just like with Xigbar, I haven't figured out his key yet - or else how to get around his "Shield," if that's how it works - but that's okay. I can handle it.

I glare right back into that gaze, and it's almost easy now because I've always been better at protecting other people than protecting myself. With Saïx back there and Roxas creeping up to hide behind me and Xion clutching my arm, it's like their trust in me gives me more strength than I would have had on my own.

Mom looks so clueless. Really pretty in her wedding dress, by the way, just like she did last time, but still clueless. "Yes...do what your father says. Clean up this mess and don't be so - antisocial."

"Sure thing, Mom." I don't say anything about that stupid "father" bit because it's her wedding and I'd promised to be nice.

They finally leave. I turn around, meaning to shoot my brothers and sister a victory sign, but instead I collapse, just managing to catch myself with my hands before my face hits the floor. What the heck?

"Axel!" Xion cries.

Saïx pulls me onto my back. "Just rest a moment." _awe amazement dismay gratitude guilt love_

It makes me smile. "You're welcome."

"Axel, are you sick?" Roxas asks.

"Just a little. I'll be fine in a minute."

"Uh oh. We gotta do CPR."

Roxas bends his knees and I _swear_ that kid was about to _jump straight onto my chest_ if Saïx hadn't pushed him back in time. "That's not necessary."

"Here, Axel." Xion looks anxious. "Eat some grapes." She pushes some into my mouth.

I smile at her after managing not to choke. These kids are going to kill me someday. "Thanks, honey."

"Xion, Roxas, help me gather up the food." Saïx distracts them by loading them up with stuff to carry. Then he looks at me as I get my strength back and sit up. "Thank you," he says softly.

"No problem. You'd do the same for me, right?"

_guilt shame determination_ "...Yes."

I point my finger playfully. "Reeeeaaaally?"

_annoyance resolve love pride_ "Yes. I would."

"You mean, _now_ you would," I tease. "You wouldn't have two seconds ago."

He looks annoyed, and a little alarmed. "Stop doing that."

Reading his mind, I guess he means. He doesn't have to worry. "Saïx, we're brothers now, no matter what. You can trust me. I won't ever turn on you."

He studies me for a while. Then he smiles, just a little. "I believe that."

"Good. And you won't turn on me, either, right?"

"Of course not," he grumbles. "I'm stuck with you for life."

"Unfortunately," I quote.

"Maybe."

"Wait - 'maybe'? So that might actually be a 'fortunately' instead?"

He shoves the rest of our little picnic into my arms. "Don't weasel your way out of carrying your share."

"Don't try to change the subject!"

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Obligatory disclaimer - **Kids, Axel is a moron. Please don't teach your little brothers and/or sisters how to make fires, ok? Thanks. X(**

**Twilight Sparkle is the name of the main character of the TV show **_**My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**_**. I came up with the other pony names, though.**

**Again, this series is one of the few times where I'm letting ICness take a backseat to thematic effect when the two come into conflict. For this installment, Xigbar's portrayal in particular bothered me...he's a little meaner in other installments, though.**

I picture teenage Saïx as being the kind of person who hates homework but also can't stand it being incomplete, so he determinedly grumbles his way through it 'til it's done.

"Deucalion" in this universe is either Axel's grandfather's name, or his mother had let someone else choose his middle name, it's not something she herself would have come up with.

I dunno why I always have to do present tense with Axel in first person... Even when I TRY to start out with past tense, he always drags it into present tense somehow and it just doesn't grammatically _work_ in past tense. I finally gave up and just automatically do present tense for him now whenever I get into first person with him.


	4. Windows to the Soul: Roxas

_Stepsiblings_, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl

Windows to the Soul **(ROUGH DRAFT)**

A/N: Third person limited, Roxas's POV. Since the kid's only five years old, the style's going to be simplified and repetitive and ungrammatical at times, it might come off as annoying.

o.o.o

In the car, Mommy wanted to know if they liked Saïx and Xion.

"Mom," Axel said, "don't you ever let that creep near Roxas ever again."

Saïx was bad, then. Roxas thought so, but now that Axel said it, he was sure. "I like Xion," he said, because when she wasn't attacking people with hugs, she was fun to play with. Saïx was her brother, but she wasn't bad like him.

"Oh yeah, I like her, too," Axel said. He grinned. "She's a real cute kid, isn't she?"

"Yes," Mommy said, "but Saïx was very nice, too! Why didn't you like him?"

"Mom. You have to ask?" Axel said, like she was dumb.

"I thought that he was perfectly nice and polite," she said in the voice that Roxas didn't trust.

"And you just overlooked the bit of him that's creepy as all getout, right?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," she said, still in the voice.

"Saïx tries to eat people with his eyes," Roxas told her. Axel laughed, and Roxas was proud of himself for making Axel laugh.

"See, Mom? Even Roxas gets it."

Almost as soon as they got home, Axel sat him down and said, "Roxas, I'm going to teach you how to fight the doomgaze."

"Okay," Roxas said. "What's a doomgaze?"

"It's how snooty rich nerds try to eat people with their eyes."

"Oh. Okay."

"Now." Axel uncrossed his legs and put his hands on the ground so he could lean close to Roxas, his face serious. "Roxas, pretend I'm Saïx, and I'm doomgazing you." He stared and stared and stared.

Roxas giggled. "You look silly."

"Argh! Roxas, you gotta focus here!"

"I'm focusing." Actually, he didn't know what 'focus' meant, but he wanted Axel to be proud of him.

"You can't be scared, all right? If Saïx or Xem look at you with their creepy eyes, you can't cringe or hide or flinch or wince or cry. You got that?"

Roxas was worried. "But their eyes are heavy. And they push at me. I want to run away."

"Well, don't. That's what I'm telling you. You _can't_ run away, Roxas. You have to be a man. You have to be strong and stand your ground. You can do that, right?"

"I'm a man."

"Yeah, that's right. You gonna be strong for me, little buddy?"

"Uh huh."

"All right. Now, focus!"

Roxas learned that to 'fight the doomgaze,' he had to stare straight at it for a whole minute without laughing.

One time Mommy took them all to dinner with Xem and Saïx and Xion. Roxas was happy because he wanted to see Xion. As soon as they walked into the restaurant, he saw Xion running at him with wide open arms. "Don't hug me!" he yelled.

"You came!" she yelled back and hugged him. She knocked him over, and they fell down.

"Mommy, she hugged me!" Roxas yelled, pinned to the floor under her.

But Mommy was just laughing and not helping him at all. "Axel! Make her stop!" Axel was laughing, too. "EVERYONE STOP LAUGHING."

Someone pulled Xion off. Roxas sat up and opened his mouth to say Thank You, but then he saw it was Saïx. Saïx was staring down at him with the eating eyes. Roxas wanted to disappear into the floor, but he was a man and stared back but this wasn't like staring at Axel and not laughing, the eyes were heavy and were pushing at him and he wanted to hide but Axel said he couldn't hide, but he couldn't do it and Axel would be mad at him because he couldn't do it. Roxas didn't want Axel to look at him like that, but he couldn't help it, he couldn't stare at Saïx the way Axel wanted him to. Roxas started to cry.

"WHAT THE FREAK ARE YOU DOING TO MY BROTHER?" Axel was there, and Roxas cringed away but Axel was mad at Saïx instead of Roxas. Axel was yelling at Saïx, and now Mommy was yelling at Axel and Xion looked scared.

"Xion," Roxas said, "let's go somewhere else."

"Okay," she said. He held out his hand, and she took it, and they walked to an empty table and he pushed her up onto the chair.

He climbed onto the other chair and took the flower out of the black thing in the middle and gave it to her. "Girls like flowers."

She smiled at him, sniffing it like a fancy lady on TV. "Thank you, Roxas." She started pulling petals off it. "He loves me, he loves me not. He loves me, he loves me not."

"Who loves you?" Roxas wanted to know.

She smiled. "I don't know. You say that when you get a flower, and you pull the petals off. The one you say when you pull off the last petal is the one that's true."

"Oh. Can I play?"

"Sure!" She pulled off another petal. "He loves me." She held out the flower to Roxas.

"He loves me not," Roxas said, pulling off a petal.

"He loves me," Xion said, pulling off a petal.

"He loves me n-"

"Roxas!" Mommy yelled. "What are you _doing_?"

"Playing the petal game."

"Put that back! Oh my gosh, put that back right now! Why are you tearing flowers apart in the middle of the restaurant! Xem, I am so sorry, he's usually not like this..."

Roxas looked at Axel. Saïx was over there, too, but Roxas looked straight at Axel and wouldn't look at Saïx at all. "Axel, is the petal game bad?"

Axel just laughed. "Rox-my-socks, you never fail to make my day."

"Rox-my- _What_?" Saïx said.

Roxas couldn't glare at Saïx, so he glared at the table.

Axel came over and picked him up. "You stay away from my brother," Axel said.

"Yeah," Roxas said, and stuck his tongue out at Saïx.

Mommy was trying to clean up the flowers, but she looked up RIGHT when he did it and she got the mad look on her face. "Precious," she said, grabbing his arm, "come with me."

"No! No! I'll say I'm sorry! I'll be good! Axel, help!"

Xem put a hand on her arm. "Darling, it's all right, just let it go. I'm sure Roxas will be fine once he gets some food. You're all right, aren't you, Saïx?"

The eating eyes _hurt_, Roxas wasn't even looking at them and they were scary, so he hid his face against Axel's shoulder. He was afraid that Axel would be mad, because he'd told him not to hide, but Axel just hugged him tighter.

"I'm perfectly fine," Saïx said.

"There, see? Let's find our seats and let the children settle down."

Mommy didn't look happy, but she said, "Fine." And she let go of his arm.

Xem was good. He had yellow eyes like Saïx's, but he told Mommy not to punish him for sticking his tongue out at Saïx, so he was okay.

Roxas and Axel and Xion colored on the kids' menu as they waited for ages and ages and AGES for the food to come. Then the food came and it was really good, but when he finished the grown-ups were still eating, even Axel. Roxas took out his game.

"Roxas," Mom yelled, "put that away."

"I'm bored."

She leaned over and smiled her scary smile and said in her scary voice, "Roxas, my precious, you need to put the game away _now_, or else..."

She didn't say the or else, but Roxas knew or else. "Okay," he said quickly, "I'm putting it away." He sighed.

"Is that a video game?" Xion asked.

"Duh."

"Ooooh!" Xion looked at Mommy. "Lea, can I please look at Roxas's video game if I promise not to touch it? Please?"

Mommy looked surprised.

"You like video games, Xion?" Axel asked.

"I've never seen one except at the store! I want to see what it looks like."

"Oh my _gosh_!" Axel yelled.

"It has always been my philosophy that video games are a waste of time and unsuitable for a growing child's development," Xem said. Roxas figured he meant video games were bad.

"Xion, you've _never_ played a video game?" Axel said.

She laughed. Xion was crazy. "Nope."

"Saïx! Don't tell me you've never in your life-"

"Useless drivel," Saïx said.

"What's drivel?" Roxas asked. Then he wished he hadn't, because Saïx gave him eating eyes again.

"Hey-" Axel started saying, but Mommy interrupted him.

"Ha ha ha ha ha! That is so interesting, Xem, I'll have to consider that."

"Daddy, can I _please_ look at Roxas's video game?" Xion begged. "Just to look at it? Please?"

Xem sighed. "Just for a moment, Xion."

"Yay! Daddy, I love you!"

Now Saïx was giving _Xion_ eating eyes - but she acted like she didn't even notice. Roxas was amazed. Xion was amazing.

But she was staring at him like he was supposed to do something, and Roxas finally realized that he was supposed to show her his video game. "Oh." He pulled the DS out of his pocket. "See."

"Wooowww..." She leaned forward and stared at it like it was the coolest thing ever. "Can I touch it?"

"Yeah."

She put her finger on it. "It's red."

"Yeah."

She smiled. "You should get a purple one, Roxas."

"No way!" he yelled. "That's a girl color!"

"But it's pretty," she insisted.

Xem made a noise, and Mommy said, "All right, darling, put it away now."

Roxas sighed and stuck it back in his pocket.

Bored bored bored bored boooorrrreeeeddddd. Grown-ups were so _boring_ when there was nothing to eat. Mommy told them to color again, but that was boring too and Roxas wanted to play his video game and go home and watch Samurai X on TV.

"Roxas, do you want to play ponies with me?" Xion asked.

Ponies were for girls. But Roxas was so _bored_. He looked at Axel. Axel gave him a funny look, but then smiled and kind of waved his hand.

"Okay," Roxas said.

Xion looked really happy. "Yay! Here, you can take Glimmerbreeze, and I'll be Twilight Sparkle."

Roxas looked at the pony she gave him. "This is a boy pony," he said.

"Huh? No, Glimmerbreeze is a girl!"

"I'm a _boy pony_," Roxas said. "My name's Katana."

"That's not a pony name!"

"I'm not gonna play ponies with you unless I get to be Katana," he tried.

She stuck her tongue out at him. "Fine."

He stuck his tongue out at her. "Fine."

She made her pony bounce along the edge of the table. Roxas had never played ponies before and he didn't really know what to do, so he bounced his pony toward hers.

"Hello, my dear Glim- I mean, Katana," Xion said in a high squeaky voice. "It's a lovely day, isn't it?"

"It's nighttime," Roxas said.

"Oh, I suppose you're right! Here, we _must_ get inside, it's quite cold out here."

"No, it's not."

Xion looked at him like he was being annoying. "Is it hot, then?" she asked in her normal voice.

"I dunno. I guess so."

"All right," she said in her squeaky voice. "Then we had better get inside where the air conditioning is!"

"Okay." They trotted their ponies down under the table. Roxas sat on Axel's feet, and Xion kneeled down facing him.

"Oh, this is very nice in here!" she said.

"Yeah." It was kind of fun, hiding under the table.

"Glimmer- I mean, Katana, would you like a cup of tea?"

"Ew, no."

"Very well, then would you like some milk?"

"I want soda."

"Oh. Um..." Xion looked confused for a minute. Then she shrugged and said, "Okay. Sit down right here at the table and I will serve it." She tipped her pony and made pouring noises.

"Xion," Roxas asked, "did you see Saïx giving you eating eyes earlier?"

"What are eating eyes?" she asked in her normal voice.

"You know. When his eyes are all glowy and push at you."

Xion tilted her head. "You mean when he gets mad?"

"Yeah."

"He wasn't mad at me, was he?"

"He looked at you like that when you told Xem you love him."

"You mean when Daddy let me see your game? Saïx wasn't mad then."

"Yes he was. He tried to eat you."

"You're being silly. He doesn't like when I say 'I love you' all the time because he doesn't love me as much as I love him, and it makes him sad."

"Really?"

"Yeah." She looked a little sad too, but then she said, "It's okay, though. He still loves me a little bit, and he wouldn't ever let anything bad happen to me."

"Axel won't let anything bad happen to me, either. He punched a bad guy in the nose once. It was cool."

Xion giggled. "I don't think Saïx would ever punch someone in the nose. He just looks at them and they get scared and run away."

"Yeah. He's scary."

Xion frowned. "No, he's not."

"Yes, he is."

"No, he's not."

"Yes, he is."

"No, he's _not_."

"Yes, he is."

"Stop saying that about my brother!"

She looked like she was going to cry, so Roxas stopped. "I won't say anything mean about your brother if you like him."

"Okay," she said, but now she was crying for real.

Roxas put the pony down so he could push the tears off her face. "Don't cry. Why are you crying?"

"I love my big brother."

She was so weird. "Okay," he said, because he didn't know what else to say.

"Roxas, why don't you like him?"

"Because he doesn't like me."

"That's not true. He doesn't like Lea and he's mad at Daddy and he's scared of Axel, but he's okay with you."

"Huh? How do you know that?"

"His eyes told me."

"They talked?"

"Yeah."

"Eyes can't talk."

"Saïx's can. And Daddy's, and Uncle Xigbar's, and everyone's."

"Because they're yellow?"

"I don't know. I guess so."

"How come I can't hear them?"

"I don't know. No one can except me." She bounced her pony along the floor. "Maybe it's because I'm the only one who likes them."

Roxas thought about this. "So if I like Saïx, his eyes will talk and he won't try to eat me anymore?"

"You should like Saïx. He's nice when he's not hiding."

Light suddenly flooded their little cave as the tablecloth was lifted. "They're under here," said Saïx's voice.

"What are they doing under there?" Mommy cried.

"Aw, leave 'em alone," said Axel.

Saïx's face appeared, looking at them. His eyes were just as scary as before. Roxas wanted to hide behind Xion, but instead he said, "I like you."

Saïx's mouth opened a little. Then he said, "_What_?" and his eyes really hurt, so Roxas hid behind Xion after all.

"He really does," Xion told Saïx.

"Xion." Roxas could feel Xem's eyes burning at them _through the table_. "You disappoint me. Your behavior at the moment is very rude and uncivilized."

Xion crawled out and stood up. "I'm sorry, Daddy."

Roxas climbed up into Axel's lap and held him tight, hiding his face. Axel's arms were around him, protecting him. Nothing could get to him through Axel.

"Mom, they're bored," Axel said. "Can I take them to that arcade across the street?"

"Absolutely not," Xem said in a deep voice.

Roxas shivered. Axel's arms tightened around him. "Geez, I was just _asking_! And I was asking _my mom_, anyway. Not you."

"Axel," Mommy said, sounding mad. "Don't speak to Xem that way."

"Why, is he my dad or something?" Axel said. There was something wrong with his voice. Something ugly. Roxas suddenly didn't feel so safe.

Axel stood up. "You can make Xion stay here and bore herself to sleep, but I'm taking Roxas across the street."

_'I don't want to leave Xion behind,'_ Roxas thought. He wondered if he should say it out loud. He expected Axel to walk away with him, but Axel didn't move and didn't move, and Roxas finally looked up again.

Xion was staring at them. Oh. She knew how to make the face, too. It didn't always work on Mommy, but Roxas could get Axel to do anything he wanted when he made that face.

"Xem," Axel finally said, "you don't...mind if...I take Xion to that bookstore with us, do you?"

"If it's the bookstore, then that's fine with me," said Xem.

"Any reason for the sudden change of tune?" Saïx asked.

"Shut up." Axel took Xion's hand, and the three of them went out to walk across the street and go into the bookstore. Roxas and Xion brought a whole pile of books to Axel, and then they sat on his lap and looked at the pictures and listened to him read until Mommy and Xem and Saïx came to make them all go home.

They had to play with Saïx and Xion a lot. Roxas liked playing with Xion, but Saïx was still scary and Roxas didn't even want to try to like him anymore. No one could like him except Xion. So Roxas hid from the eyes and let Axel yell at Saïx for him while he went off to play with Xion.

Mommy was getting married. Roxas didn't really know what that meant, just that it was important, and it was something Mommy did with daddies. Just Roxas's daddy and Xem, though; the others didn't count for some reason.

They couldn't spend any money for a while, and they were going to move in with Xion and Xem and Saïx. Roxas didn't want to move, and he didn't want to be near Saïx ever, but Mommy didn't listen.

"Cheer up, Rox-my-socks," Axel said. "At least we'll be rich when Mom marries Xem. He'll probably try to buy your love and he'll get you all the toys you want."

"All the toys I want?"

"Yup."

"Even Buzz Lightyear?"

"Probably."

"I want Buzz Lightyear."

"Sure. Tell him that next time you see him."

Xem wasn't bad, but Roxas still didn't like being close to him. "You tell him."

Axel sighed. Roxas's skin felt all crawly. He had to make Axel smile and like him and be proud of him, so he was going to be as brave as he could and say that he would ask Xem himself, but then Axel said, "All right, I'll tell him."

"...Okay." Roxas felt bad. He should be the one to tell Xem and make Axel smile again. But he couldn't now.

Axel was gone. Mommy was leaving, too. With Xem. She was gonna leave Roxas all alone with Saïx. "Don't go away, Mommy."

She held him and stroked his hair. It felt nice. "Oh, _sweet_heart. Mommy's just gonna be gone for a little while, don't worry. You're gonna have so much fun with Saïx that you won't even remember I'm gone, right?"

That wasn't true. He looked up at Saïx. Saïx smiled, but was giving him eating eyes. "I want Axel. Saïx is gonna eat me."

"Don't be silly, precious! Saïx is a very nice young man..."

Mommy left, and Roxas went upstairs to hide, but even though he waited and waited and waited, Saïx didn't come after him. Finally he got too bored and went to go look.

Saïx was in his room, doing work at his desk. "Saïx," Roxas said, holding on tight to the doorknob. He was scared of the eating eyes, but Saïx didn't even turn around. He didn't answer, either. Maybe he couldn't hear. "You're supposed to be baby-sitting," Roxas said louder. "You have to come play with me." He was scared of being chased, but he kind of wanted to be chased because it wouldn't be boring. As long as Saïx didn't catch him. He didn't mind if Axel caught him, but he was going to run and run and make sure Saïx never caught him.

"What I have to do is my homework. Go away."

Roxas was surprised. He didn't think Saïx would want to stay away from him, too. "You're mean."

"You catch on quickly."

Huh?

Saïx was still working. He hadn't even looked at him. Maybe he didn't want to eat Roxas with his eyes, and that's why he was looking down. That was good, but it was so boring, and Roxas couldn't stand it if he had to be all alone until Mommy FINALLY came back. Xem had told Saïx to have fun with Roxas, and Saïx wasn't doing it. He was being bad and would get in trouble. "I'll tell Mommy that you left me all alone."

"Good. Perhaps they won't trust me to baby-sit you in the future."

Saïx didn't _want_ to baby-sit him? Weird. Roxas thought he was the only one who didn't want to be baby-sat by Saïx. "I don't like you," he said, hoping Saïx would get mad and turn around and look at him so he could run away and get chased.

It didn't work. "The feeling is mutual."

What did that mean? "Don't use big words."

"It's not my fault that you don't know what they mean."

Saïx really was mean. That's okay. Axel was smart. "I'll ask Axel."

"You can try, though I doubt he'll be able to help with that small brain of his."

HE SAID SOMETHING MEAN ABOUT AXEL. NO ONE CAN SAY BAD STUFF ABOUT AXEL. "Axel's smart. He knows everything." Axel was the smartest person in the world, he always knew about confusing stuff and was a good explainer.

"Why is he in tutoring, then?"

Tutoring was what kids did so they wouldn't be grounded when they made bad grades. Saïx wasn't right, Saïx wasn't right Saïx wasn't right Saïx couldn't be right. No. Stupid Saïx. It wasn't true, Axel was smart.

Saïx was too big, Roxas couldn't hit him, and he didn't know what to say, either; Saïx was too smart and he'd make Roxas feel dumb. _'I hate him.'_ Roxas slammed the door and kicked it.

Why wouldn't Saïx look at him? Was he hiding? Why would he hide if he was so big and mean? Maybe he just didn't want to play. He was so mean. Roxas was kind of glad that he didn't have to see the eating eyes, but Saïx was just sitting there locked up in his room and he was so _boring_, just like a grown-up. How could Xion stand him?

"Fine. I can play by myself."

Roxas went to Xion's room, but all her toys were boring and girly. Then he went to the kitchen to look for a snack, and there was some marshmallows. He could make a fire and toast them. Axel had showed him how. This time he could do it all by himself, and Axel would be proud of him.

"I need matches." Mommy kept them at the back of the cabinet. Roxas pushed a chair over and climbed on it and then on the counter. He stood up and pulled stuff out of the cabinets and looked in the backs of them. He found some matches.

"And I need newspaper." There was some paper on Xem's desk. Roxas took it to the fireplace and crumpled them all up into paper balls. The poker was heavy, but he was a big boy and he could lift it, so he poked the paper under the grate, all the way to the back until it was all stuffed.

"And I need some sticks." There were sticks outside. Roxas put them on top of the paper, and he found a bigger branch and put that on top, too. "Now comes the hard part..."

He pushed the match across the red part of the box. Nothing happened. He did it again. Nothing happened and nothing happened, and the sulfur stuff was no good anymore, so he took out another match and tried again. Nothing. "Stupid match!" He pushed harder, and the match broke.

He put matches in a pile, and yelled at the box and finally wanted to cry he was so mad, but he was GOING TO MAKE THIS WORK, he wasn't going to give up because Axel wouldn't be proud of him if he gave up. "Light up, you stupid match, _light_."

There were twelve matches in the little pile, but the thirteenth one worked, FINALLY. Roxas carefully held the flame to the edge of the paper. "Come on, little fire, you can eat that," he told it. He touched the flame to another edge. Then another. But it ate too much of the stick now, so he threw it with the other sticks, and then he threw the dead matches with the sticks, too. He watched the fire hard, telling it not to die, and it didn't, it ate and ate and got bigger, and then it started eating the wood and not just the paper. "Good boy! I knew you could do it."

Whoops. He forgot to bring the marshmallow sticks, the skewers. "I have to find skewers." He couldn't find them in the kitchen, so he got another stick from outside, a long one he could put marshmallows on the end of.

The black paper was all over the grate but there was still some white paper the fire hadn't eaten yet, he had to push it all back together so the fire wouldn't get lost. He picked up the poker

OW OW OW OW OW OW HURTS IT HURTS AXEL HELP _OW_. It hurt, what was he gonna do, it hurt, his hand hurt, what happened, the poker was hot, why was it hot, it was lying in the fire and it got hot and ow his hand hurt what was he gonna do he wanted Mommy he wanted Mommy he wanted Mom-

"Roxas!"

AAAHHHH. Saïx. Saïx was here, Saïx came down and his eyes he was so mad he was going to grab him and hurt him and his hand hurt and Roxas had to get up and run but Saïx grabbed him. "No!"

Saïx ignored him, but he wasn't looking at him with the eating eyes anymore. His hand hurt. "Put me down," Roxas told him, scared to death. He wanted to fight and get down, but his hand hurt and he couldn't let go of his hand and he wanted Axel here to yell at Saïx like usual and help him, but Axel was gone. "Let go."

Saïx didn't take him somewhere dark, he put him by the sink and turned the sink on and was grabbing his hand.

"_No_," Roxas told him. He had to _listen_, why wouldn't he listen?

"Give me your hand," said Saïx.

"Don't hurt me," Roxas said, trying to get away but he couldn't get away.

"I'm trying to _help_ you. Give me your hand."

Why would he say that, that was stupid, his hand hurt and he wanted to get away from Saïx and why wasn't Axel here, Axel was _stupid_ and he hated Axel and Axel left him alone, he wanted Mommy. Mommy left him alone, too. His hand hurt. He wanted to run, Saïx wouldn't let him.

"No! Don't hurt me!"

Saïx was grabbing him. Roxas wanted to fight, but he couldn't let go of his hand and Saïx was making him let go of his hand and he couldn't let him, had to stop him had to stop him no no no couldn't reach his hand couldn't move, no, stop it stop it-

"Is this the one you hurt? Come _on_, Roxas, we need to be quick."

"Stop it! Mommy!" They _left him alone_. Roxas hated them. Why did Saïx have to be so big, it wasn't _fair_.

"Be quiet, your mother's gone."

They. Had. Left him. They didn't care about him. They didn't care what Saïx did to him.

He could feel tears coming down his cheeks, and he wasn't supposed to cry in front of bad people but he couldn't help it, and it didn't matter anyway because if Axel was gone then it didn't matter if Roxas couldn't make him proud of him. "I want Axel," he said. Stupid Axel had left him all alone, _why_? Why did he have to do that?

"All you've got is me. Deal with it."

Couldn't do anything, couldn't move. Couldn't stop him. It wasn't fair when they were bigger than him. It wasn't _fair_. _'I have to be stronger,'_ Roxas thought. He had to get bigger and stronger so that people couldn't do things to him that he didn't want them to do. _'When Axel's gone, I have to do it myself.'_ He wished he had known that before.

But maybe it was okay. His hand didn't hurt anymore. The water was cold, but it didn't hurt like the poker had. He couldn't move, but maybe if he was good Saïx would let him go.

"It doesn't hurt, does it?"

_'Shut up. You're mean. I'm not gonna tell you you're right.'_

Saïx let him go. He still held Roxas's hand in the water, but Roxas could move a little bit now, he scooted back and put his other hand down and sat straight. He was good, and Saïx let him go. Maybe if he was gooder, Saïx would let him go all the way.

"All right, I'm going to put some ice on it now."

What's that why no don't, don't do anything else, don't hurt me "Don't-"

"I'm _not_."

Was that true? Roxas didn't know. Maybe.

"Here's a washcloth. Dry your hand."

Saïx let him go. Roxas sat and held the cloth and stared at Saïx as Saïx went to the freezer and opened the door.

Saïx let him go. He had been good, that was why. He wanted to get down, but the counter was too high and he was scared of his hand. He put the cloth on his hand to get the water off. His hand started to hurt again. It scared him. "It hurts," he said. Saïx made it stop before. _'Make it stop again. It hurts.'_

Saïx came back and took his hand don't hurt me don't hurt me don't hurt me put the ice on his hand, don't hurt me, it was cold but he didn't press hard. "Well, that's what happens when you stick your hand in a fire."

_'What? No! That's stupid! I didn't stick my hand in the fire! You're STUPID, and you're a moron, if course I wouldn't do that, dummy!'_ "I didn't stick my hand in the fire! I'm not stupid!"

"How did you burn yourself, then?"

Looking at him with the eyes again, and he didn't like it but he was mad and he could kind of look back and wasn't as scared as he thought.

But then he felt stupid. _'If I was smart, I wouldn't have burned my hand.'_ He looked away, because Saïx was right to look at him bad. "Didn't know the poker would get hot that fast." He shouldn't have left it in the fire. He should have pulled it out before it got hot. Couldn't let Axel know that. Maybe it was okay if Saïx knew, but he couldn't tell Axel, Axel would think he was dumb.

"Well. Now you know."

Yeah. Now he knew. He wouldn't make that mistake again.

His throat hurt. He had been stupid. Axel tried to teach him how to make a fire, and he messed it up. He didn't want Axel now, or Mommy; they wouldn't be smiling at him. He'd rather have Saïx, because Saïx didn't like him so it was okay to be dumb in front of Saïx. He could cry in front of Saïx, because Saïx was already not smiling and Saïx was never proud of him, so it was okay to be dumb in front of Saïx. Roxas pulled him closer so he could have something to cry on without anyone seeing him.

Saïx put his hand on his back and patted him. Roxas didn't think he would do something like that, but he did. Yeah, that was good. Now he wouldn't have to cry in front of Axel, and Axel would never know he cried.

He finished crying and Saïx got some stuff out and wrapped up his hand. His hand still hurt, but that was okay. Saïx was making it better. Saïx put him on the couch and went away, and Roxas looked at his hand. It hurt, but there was a big white Band-Aid all over it, it was gonna be okay. Saïx was smart.

Saïx came back and turned the TV on, that was good, he was too tired to get up and play but now he wouldn't be bored, and Saïx came to sit with him on the couch. _'That's good,'_ Roxas thought. _'He won't leave me alone like Axel and Mommy did.'_ He liked Saïx a lot now.

_'Hey. I like Saïx a lot now. Maybe I can hear his eyes talk now like Xion can.'_ He got up and put the hand that didn't hurt on Saïx's shoulder so he could see his eyes.

_'Woooowwww. They really are talking. That is so cool.'_

"What are you doing?" Saïx said with his mouth, but his eyes were saying something different. _"I'm such an idiot, why did I do that, why did I leave Roxas all alone, he got hurt and it's all my fault and Father's going to be furious at me..."_

Roxas felt bad for him. "It's okay," he said. "You helped me. Mommy and Xem won't be mad."

Saïx glared. _"What is he talking about? He sounds like...Xion, when she looks at me like that. Stop looking at me, you're making me nervous."_ "Get off me. Watch the movie."

This was so cool. He could, like, read Saïx's mind. Saïx wasn't scary at all, he was just a normal guy and he was scared of things, too. "Okay." Roxas lay down again and put his head on Saïx's leg and watched the movie. Saïx's computer typing was annoying, but that was okay. He wasn't going away. Roxas was sleepy.

He woke up and Saïx was holding him- No, Axel was holding him. What?

Hey, Axel was back. Axel didn't know he'd been dumb, so it was okay to tell him he got hurt. "Look." Roxas showed him his hand. Axel was going to pay lots of attention to him.

"Ehhhh, what happened to you?"

Yeeessss. Lots and lots of attention. He liked it when Axel liked him. "Me and Saïx toasted marshmallows like you showed me last time."

"You and _Saïx_ tried to toast _marshmallows_?"

Hee, Axel didn't believe him. Axel still thought Saïx was mean.

They both looked at Saïx, and Saïx stared back at them. _"I don't understand,"_ Saïx's eyes were saying. _"Why would Roxas protect me? I messed up, he should hate me."_

_'I don't hate you,'_ Roxas thought happily. _'It's okay that you messed up. I messed up, too. We're both okay, so it's fine. I'm glad you're going to be my brother, now.'_

"Roxas burned his hand on the poker."

"You burned your _hand_?"

Heeee, Axel didn't care about anything but him. "Yeah, but Saïx fixed it."

Saïx said something about ice and went to go hide, and Axel took the Band-Aid off his hand to look. His hand hurt a lot, but that was okay. Axel cared about him a lot.

"Wait, Saïx let you handle the poker?"

Uhhhh... "Yeah."

Oops. Axel wasn't buying it. "Saïx was watching you, and he let you pick it up?"

Axel knew he was lying, no no no no _no_, why had he messed up like that? _'I'm so stupid!'_ "Um, yes?"

Uh oh. He was in trouble, because Axel was trapping him and he couldn't get away, and Axel knew he was lying, _no_. _'Go away!'_

"Roxas Aubade, you are lying to me."

_'Nooooo! Don't be mad at me, please don't be mad at me!'_ "I'm not lying!" _'Don't be mad at me!'_ Axel said something to Mommy when she knew he was lying. "I'm giving selective details."

Axel had a funny look on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. _'Oops.'_ Man, Roxas was messing up so bad.

"Roxas, something went wrong tonight, and you got hurt. I need to know _exactly_ what happened so that I can... So that I can make sure it doesn't happen again."

Oh. Well...that made sense. Still... Roxas didn't want him to yell at Saïx anymore. It had been fun before, but now he liked Saïx and he knew it hurt getting yelled at. Roxas tried to explain. "No one will play with me. You and Mommy left me alone." _'Don't do that ever, ever again.'_ "I tried to do what Xion said, but I think Saïx was hiding from me because it didn't work until I burned my hand. Then he was scary and I was scared, but when I stopped being scared I could see it. So I guess it worked, but it hurt, and I got tired and fell asleep in _Aladdin_."

Axel looked kind of confused. Maybe Saïx was right, and he really was dumb...

NO. Axel wasn't dumb. Maybe Roxas just wasn't a good explainer. He was about to tell Axel to listen to Saïx's eyes, but Axel started talking again.

"What do you mean about Xion? She told you to do something?"

"Remember when you told me how to fight Saïx's eyes? It didn't work, so I asked Xion. She said if you like Saïx and Xem, then their eyes aren't scary unless they're mad for real. So I tried to like Saïx. But he was in his room and he wouldn't look at me, just kept staring at his book and his computer. He was mean, so I got mad and tried to play by myself. But my hand burned, and Saïx was really mad but when he was putting my hand in the sink and it wasn't hurting, I wasn't scared anymore and I looked at his yes. Xion's right. He wasn't mad, he was scared and he wanted to fix me."

Axel looked like he didn't believe him. "...He told you that?"

"His eyes did." Duh.

"Well, I'll look into that, but first, buddy, you and me need to have a talk about fire and things called conductors..."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I'm pretty much with Xem and Saïx on the video game thing, despite the fact that I'm writing a fanfic for a video game series. *sweatdrop*

**I forgot to mention this in the last chapter! I didn't come up with the name "Twilight Sparkle," it's the name of the main character from **_**My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**_**.** I did make up the other pony names, though.

"Samurai X" is the title that the Rurouni Kenshin anime (adapted from my favorite manga) sometimes appears under in English dubs, but I wouldn't consider it appropriate for a young kid to watch. In this universe, it's either an unrelated, more kid-friendly cartoon, or there's some Bad Parenting going on. :p

A katana is a Japanese sword, and also the name of Kenji's dog in my RuroKen fic _The Lost Hatchling_.

Btw. I feel kind of silly trying to explain this seriously, but children who have the "key" to those gold eyes can understand them more clearly than older people can, which is why Axel and Roxas perceive the unspoken language a bit differently. Like, Roxas seeing it in sentences whereas Axel just gets individual emotions.


	5. Memories: Xion, part 1

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Memories** (ROUGH DRAFT)

Summary: Xion reminisces.

A/N: This one was very difficult for me to write at first, so I apologize for the style, which is not at all how I expected it to turn out. I eventually did find my groove, but **I still hate the perspective in this installment, it doesn't make sense.** Unfortunately, I couldn't figure out how to convey what I needed to convey without making Xion sound really off. Feel free to concrit on anything, since it's always good for me to know, I just probably won't be able to fix much. :/

**Also, I was considering putting this story in the dark series because of a brief part in the beginning,** but then I found the rest of it too cute/funny for me to want to do that in the end. Sorry, guys. Vanitas is pretty bad in this universe...

**Part 1**

I remember a lot from when I was little, more than most people remember things, and I think it was because of those eyes my family has. When you're able to see straight into people's hearts almost from infancy, it makes you grow up fast.

My first memory is seeing my father's eyes - Xem's, I mean; I don't remember my birth parents at all. I must have been in a crib or something, but I just remember looking up and seeing gold, pinned by it at first. Then they changed - it was like they reached out to claim me, and I started crying then because it was such a relief, feeling so lost and insecure, and now unexpectedly drawn back into warmth and light again, knowing that I _belonged_ now.

I have so few memories of my mother. Mostly just her holding me - sometimes it was frightening, and sometimes it was sweet, but what I associate with Mother is being held. I don't remember anything at all about her death, even though I was right there - she'd tried to take me with her. No one has ever even been willing to talk to me seriously about it, though I've seen it reflected in Saïx's eyes sometimes. It took him the longest time to really like me, but he has _always_ felt responsible for his family, and I've seen how much it haunts him that he came so close to losing me. I know that Mother must have been so troubled, but all I can remember from her are those times of being held. Saïx thinks that Mother is free now and can truly love us in a way she never could in this world, and I think he's right. Every time we visit her grave, the scent of vanilla makes me feel at peace.

Most of it is Saïx. I'm not sure why, but my brother raised me more than my parents really did... I've always felt safest with him. He may not have liked me much, but I was always irrevocably _his_. When Father was gone or busy and Mother was upset, both of which happened often, it was always Saïx who played with me and took care of me. Whenever anyone was mean to me, all I had to do was tell him, and then all he'd have to do was _look_ at them, and it would be over. Only the rest of our family, and later Axel, were ever a match for him.

Meeting the rest of the family... I didn't know what was happening at the time, all I knew was that it was cold and there were so many yellow eyes, staring at me and hurting me, and the arms around me weren't keeping me safe at all. I wanted Saïx so badly, and then he was there and he was protecting me and he took me away to where it was safe. Even when he would get annoyed with me, I still loved him so much, he always did his best for my sake.

Our cousin Van terrified me at first - that was the first time I ever saw someone get the better of Saïx, and it struck me to the soul. I couldn't understand - still don't, really - how someone could have such love and such hate in him, all at the same time. Van has always thought the world of me, always thought of me as something sweet and precious and unsullied, something to guard and treasure since he's given up on everything in his own life. (He refuses to believe that all the trouble Roxas and I get into is due to joint effort. He thinks Roxas has been a bad influence on me.) It's sad, and the older I get, the sadder it seems to me. I wish I could truly help him, instead of just watching like this.

In the meantime, though, it's good to know that Van does have a soft side, and convenient that he doesn't bother to Shield with me like he does with everyone else, and I'm glad that he and Saïx have been getting along at least a little better than they did when they were younger. I want so much for my entire family to be able to enjoy life together, instead of trying to be at each other's throats all the time.

I almost lost Van, there at the very beginning. I say it like that, because that's how it felt. I try not to blame myself, because I know it wasn't my fault - I was still only a few weeks shy of my second birthday. It's just that looking back on it now, I see what was going on, and it horrifies me how close I came to breaking my cousin's trust for good.

So much had happened already in my short life, and Saïx was the closest thing I had to stability. Seeing Van hurt him like that, seeing the rock of my small world shaken...I wasn't even _capable_ of liking the person who had done that. I could see the love practically shining in Van's eyes when he looked at me, and yet I could see the poison in it as well. I didn't know what to make of it. Just that he wasn't all bad somehow, yet he was dangerous, which was confusing and stupid. I told him to be nice to Saïx and that he was scary, and he went away and I thought that would be the end of it.

The next memory I have of Van is very strong. I don't remember where we were or how I'd ended up alone with him, or even how he was hurting me. All I know was that I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to die, and at the same time that horrible pain in his eyes, so strong in comparison to the weakness of his anger. I remember the sight as if it was in a silent voice of gold: _"Love me love me love me why don't you love me, I love you so much and if you hate me I'll die and I can't stand it so you have to die too."_

I knew what I needed to say in order to survive. "I love you." It took the last of my breath. But it was enough.

He stared at me in shock, and I could breathe again. "What?"

"I l-love you. Please."

He started crying then. There was joy in his eyes now, but it was just as weak as the anger had been. That pain was still there, untouched. And I remember how horrified I was to realize that people in that much pain could cause so much hurt to other people. Young as I was, I vowed right then and there that I would always, always do my best to make people happy, so they wouldn't be in pain and so that I wouldn't ever be a reason for them to go and hurt someone else.

Van was devoted to me after that. He came so often, maybe every day, and I was afraid of him for a long time but I always met him with a smile. He would hold me and bring me things and play whatever games I wanted, and get in fights with Saïx who didn't trust him.

I remember watching their eyes... They wouldn't always fight hand-to-hand, especially if I got between them, which I learned pretty early on. I became good at going over to sit on the one on the ground and gaze soulfully up at the other, and almost every single time they would stop, though they'd continue the fight with their eyes.

_"She's mine she's mine I hate you I hate you for getting her when she should have been MINE,"_ Van would glare.

_"Stay away, I'm supposed to keep her safe and I _won't_ let you hurt her the way you've hurt me,"_ Saïx would glare back.

"I want ice cream," I'd say out loud. "Vani, ice cream please?" Or Saïx, if Van was the one I was sitting on.

And we'd all go out on the porch to eat ice cream, and the boys would sulk on either side of me as I chattered about anything that passed through my head. _'Please, please be nice,'_ I would silently beg them. _'Please don't hurt each other, because it hurts me too and I want to be _happy_, not sad like this like you both make me all the time...'_

Like I said before, I don't remember anything about Mother's death. From what I've pieced together, I think she might have drugged me first, so I'd be asleep when she did it. All I remember is being in the hospital, seeing their eyes when I first woke up - Daddy and Saïx beside me, holding my hand, full of relief and also grieving.

With Saïx, too, the lingering horror and a new hurt...I've never been able to read it clearly, and it's faded over time, but I can still see it when he's in certain moods. When he came home and found us, Mother dead and me on the verge of it, it's like that moment froze for him, like he can still carry it even after all this time.

Axel sees it, but he doesn't know what it is...he calls it 'Angstland.' "Cut it out, Sai, you're being emo again." Saïx never says a word, and I don't feel like the secret is mine to share. Roxas sees it, too, but he thinks he can make it go away by making Mom - his mom, and now my mom too - give Saïx a hug. That frozen moment fades from Saïx's eyes again, crowded out by annoyance and exasperation and condescension usually, but it's never gone.

Though every time we visit Mother's grave and the scent of vanilla wafts up around us...every time he looks at me with love and pride, which happens a lot more often ever since we met our brothers - that frozen moment gets a little weaker. I hope that someday, with enough love, maybe it will get weak enough to where it can't hold together anymore, and maybe Saïx can finally let go of it. That's one of the things I pray for him, anyway.

Saïx would kill me if I ever told anyone what his greatest fear is. Not his real greatest fear, which I've seen in his eyes (though I don't think he even realizes what it is). Rather, the one that actually sends him into a panic at a certain time every year.

It was about a year after Mother had died. Daddy tucked me in and read me a story about snow, then kissed me and went away. I didn't go to sleep, though. I lay wide awake and listened for a long time until I finally heard him go to bed. Then I waited some more, wondering if we would do the same thing we had done before.

The door finally opened, and Saïx came in without a sound. I got up and he took my hand and we went into his room and into his closet and he shut the door. I knew by then not to ask to turn the light on, so it was very dark and I was a little scared. "Saïx?"

He didn't say anything, just took my hand again. We went over to the corner and he wrapped me in a blanket, and I sat in his lap so he could hold me.

"I brought you something," he whispered.

He put something in my hand that felt like a cookie, so I put it in my mouth and it was sweet. "These are Santa's cookies," I told him. I was mad because even though I thought Santa was mean and scary, he also needed his cookies. They were for _him_. "If you steal Santa's cookies, he'll get mad and come look for us."

"They're extras from the pantry, I didn't take them from the plate. Hush."

I finished eating the cookie, and he gave me another one. "This is yours," I said, pushing it against his mouth.

"No. I don't want any." I wished I could see his eyes, but it was too dark. Even though he brought treats for me, out of guilt I suppose, he always refused to even taste them himself.

"Aren't you hungry?"

"No."

"Aren't you sad?" I could still feel him trembling a little as he held me.

"No."

I knew he was lying, but I couldn't see his eyes to be sure. He was being annoying, but I also felt bad for him. "Don't worry, big brother, I won't let anything bad happen to you."

"Hush." He set something over my ears: headphones. All the songs were Christmas carols, which I liked better than the other Christmas songs because most of them sounded nicer. For a while I was happy sitting there with him, with the music and the lingering sweetness on my tongue. Christmas is the only time Saïx will ever let me cuddle with him without complaining - that's part of why I love Christmas so much, even though I also feel bad about how much trouble it causes my brother.

But eventually, even though I was getting sleepy, I realized that no matter how content I was, Saïx was still upset. I pulled the headphones off again and heard what he must have been hearing all this time: a stifling silence. "Here, Saïx, you can have the headphones."

"No. They're for you. Go to sleep."

I stood up and tried to put them on his head, but he held my hands away and even though I couldn't see his eyes, I shivered because I could _feel_ them, and they hurt. "Okay, stop, please, I'll stop. Please don't give me yellow eyes."

"Sit down and go to sleep."

I pulled the blanket around myself again and lay back against him. He wasn't shaking anymore, but I could still sense how unhappy he was, and without the Christmas carols whispering sweetly in my ears, I thought that the darkness was trying to suffocate us. "Please sing to me," I asked. He hates singing, but he has a nice voice.

"..."

"You can sing really soft. Then you can still listen for bad things, right?"

He stroked my hair, and I thought for a minute that he wouldn't sing to me. Then his voice, drifting gently around me, as protective as his arms resting around my shoulders. _"Stay awake, don't rest your head; don't lie down upon your bed. While the moon drifts in the skies, stay awake...don't close your eyes..."_

I woke up in my own my bed, with the sun starting to peep through my window on Christmas morning, and I thought at first that it had all been a dream. But then I saw Saïx later, and the relief and shame and unhappiness in his eyes, and I knew it hadn't been a dream.

"Saïx," I asked, after we had opened presents and Daddy went away to his office, "why do we sleep in the closet every Christmas?"

"...I'd rather not answer that," he mumbled.

"It's because Santa's bad, right?"

"...Yes."

"He seems nice, though...he's always nice in the movies, and he leaves presents for us. Why would he do that if he's mean?"

"Xion, Santa Claus is not real."

I stared at him. "What?"

"He's not real. Everyone pretends - I don't know _why_, - they dress up as him and give their children presents with his name on them. But he's not real."

I could tell from his eyes that he was telling the truth, but I didn't want to believe him.

"Look. All the tags that say 'From Santa' - they're in Father's handwriting."

I looked. I still didn't want to believe it. "But...but then...why do we hide from him, if he's not even real?" I asked in desperation.

"...Because I'm a coward. No more, though. This is the last time I'll hide. I'm going to be in high school next year...I can't still be _doing_ this, it's absolutely ridiculous."

I could see that for some reason, he was remembering Mother again. "Is Santa the one you're really afraid of?" Or is it something else, is what I meant.

"What?"

"Saïx, Mommy's gone forever."

"I _know_ that."

"Even when we see her again in Heaven, she'll be really, really nice. Angels can't be mean."

"Why are we even talking about this?"

"You don't have to be scared."

"That's what I just said. It is a completely irrational fear, and I'm far too old to continue humoring it like this."

When the next Christmas Eve came, I waited like usual, but Saïx didn't come. Daddy had gone to bed, and I kept waiting but Saïx never came...

When I woke up suddenly, the house was very dark and quiet. I was confused for a minute, then got out of my bed and went out into the hallway, feeling lost and scared, like something was wrong.

Saïx's bedroom light was on. He wasn't asleep. I opened the door and there he was with his back pressed against the wall and a metal bar gripped in his fist like a weapon, his eyes screaming _"NO, NO- It's Xion, only Xion, RELIEF joy fury want to hurt her, frightened me so badly, she's out, not asleep, have to bring her close have to protect her; shame; I'm such a coward I'm such a _coward_..."_

I ran to him and we threw our arms around each other without thinking about it and I was so surprised and a little scared when he burst into tears against my shoulder. After a while I patted his hair and sang to him, like he sometimes did for me when I was upset. _"O holy night, the stars are brightly shining..."_

He kept holding me even after he stopped crying. He finally whispered, "I can't do it."

"It's okay," I told him, wanting to fix it and make it better, _hating_ seeing him in such pain. "I'll help you. I'll stay with you. There's only a few more hours until the sun comes up, come on, we're together now..." I sat with him and kept watch with him, and eventually fell asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. I was still sitting there in the morning. I woke up and looked up at him, and we shared a triumphant smile.

The next year, on Christmas Eve while Daddy was gone, I took a marker and blacked out all the tags that said "From: Santa Claus" on them. I hid those presents in the back, then went to bed like normal. I think I drowsed off a little, because my clock had jumped past a lot of time when I opened my eyes to feel my brother's hand resting gently on my back. He didn't need to say anything, I got up and went with him to his room, except this time I brought games. It was fun, almost like a sleepover with just me and him. He played the games with me without complaining at all, and for the first time he ate some of the cookies instead of leaving them all for me, and I think there were some times where he even forgot to be listening.

The next morning, Daddy saw the gift tags and turned his eyes on me, but before I could even start crying, Saïx got between us and told him that he'd done it. I stared at my brother's back in shock and gratefulness and pride and worry.

"...Why are you lying for her?"

"I'm not."

Then I started crying anyway, because Daddy was hurting Saïx without touching him or saying anything at all. "Please, Saïx, please, Daddy I did it, please stop, please..."

"I don't understand either of you. What is the meaning of this?"

I gulped, because I knew I couldn't tell my brother's secret, but there was nothing else I could think of to say, and I was really scared.

"Neither of us believes in Santa Claus anymore," Saïx said faintly, holding tight to my hand. "It's not...necessary, to sign the gifts in such a way."

Daddy stared at me. "When did this happen?"

"Santa's not real," I said in a small voice. "People made him up. He's fiction." I hoped Daddy would be proud of me for knowing a grown-up word.

"...How long have you known this?"

"A long time," I said hesitantly.

"Why was I not told?"

"I...I'm...I'm sorry, Daddy."

He finally sighed. "I suppose it's foolishness to act as if this matter is of such importance. Very well; we will do away with such childish traditions, and Xion, I applaud your progressive maturity. Saïx, don't ever lie to me again, particularly in such a clumsy manner."

"Yes, sir."

After Daddy left us alone, Saïx hugged me for a long time. Then he told me that he appreciated my efforts on his behalf, but he was my elder by ten years and it was his job to take care of both himself and me, I shouldn't interfere where I had no business meddling. I kissed him and told him it was okay for us to take care of each other, he didn't have to do all the work by himself. He didn't believe me back then, but I think he's starting to now. Axel's been good for him.

Axel's been good for me, too. I love him so, _so much_, him and Roxas both, and Mom. Saïx hated them before he even saw them, but I nearly went wild with delight when Daddy told me that he might be able to give me another mother, one I would be able to remember this time. And much as I loved Saïx and Daddy, I was so lonely...their love for me was a cold kind, dutiful and faithful, but all the warmth always came from me, and sometimes it was a hard burden to keep bearing for so long, especially when I was still so young. The thought of new brothers, one of them almost _my age_...

I was so excited that day, the day we were supposed to meet them. I nearly drove Daddy and Saïx crazy all the time we were getting ready and driving to the park and waiting in the restaurant. We waited and waited, and the time for us to meet came and went and they still weren't there, and then I started to get upset. I thought they weren't coming, that they'd run away and abandoned us before I'd even gotten to see them.

Daddy called and found out they were running late, but I still couldn't settle down, and Saïx finally even took Glimmerbreeze and played ponies with me. That distracted me for a while, but then I looked at the clock again and it had been more than _half an_ _hour_, and they were still gone. I cried because I thought they weren't coming because they didn't love me just like my first mommy hadn't loved me enough to want to stay with me, so Daddy bought me some of the food from the restaurant even though we aren't supposed to eat fast-food, but I don't know why because it was _really good_. Especially the French fries. I ate them and tried to get Daddy and Saïx to eat them, too, but they both wouldn't. They were reading by then and being boring, so I played with Twilight Sparkle as I finished my fries and then, ooohhhhh...

The way they came in. My new mommy - I was already thinking of her that way, even though Daddy hadn't even proposed to her yet - came bursting toward us like a star, the whole restaurant seemed to light up. And then the man - I thought of Axel as a "man" back then even though he wasn't quite sixteen yet, he was just so big compared to me and so confident compared to my brother - was strolling along behind her, with hair like _flames_ that I found absolutely fascinating, and those tattoos on his face like someone dangerous and exciting. I couldn't tear my eyes away. And Roxas, oh, _oh_, so little just like me, with the funniest hair that I wanted to squish...

They were wonderful. I adopted them in my heart instantly, before we'd even exchanged words.

"Xem!" Lea cried as she came rushing to us in that shooting star way, "Oh, Xem, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to be late again..."

She hadn't meant to be late. She'd wanted to be here fast, but she couldn't, and I forgave her immediately. She was here now, and she wanted me.

At least, I assumed she did; but of course she went straight for Daddy. And Axel couldn't tear himself away from Saïx, and Roxas was staring at them both in horror, he told me later it was because he thought they were literal aliens and they were about to melt everyone's brains. Everyone's always noticed my family before they notice me, I'm very used to it by now, and was used to it back then, too. It's hard to _not_ be mesmerized by those powerful golden eyes. I have to just be patient, because the people who are worth befriending are the ones who don't get scared away. It's still hard sometimes, though, standing there waiting to be noticed.

Fascinated as I was by Axel, I was a little intimidated by him, too (so big, and his hair was so very, very red), so I hid behind my brother's chair to watch in safety.

I saw the moment when he encountered Saïx's eyes for the first time. That look of shock and horror and pain, and for just a second I thought he was going to run away, and I wanted to scream in frustration. But then his face changed so quickly to anger and determination and mischief. I knew instinctively that Saïx was going to lose, yet I couldn't help feeling relieved.

"Hi! I'm Axel!"

"Axel," I whispered to myself. Daddy had already told me his name, but now he was naming himself, suddenly more real and more human.

"My name is Saïx. Now that we have made each other's acquaintance, you may remove yourself from my immediate vicinity."

"Sorry, I don't speak Nerd."

They were so entirely focused on each other, it was kind of funny. I'd thought only my golden-eyed family was able to do that, but it was like Axel could naturally fight the same way as them, even with different weapons. He faced Saïx down with as much self assurance as Van ever had, but unlike Van, there was a hint of admiration in his expression. I couldn't tell if he actually liked Saïx or not, but he didn't think he was scum or demon, either. Which was the first time I remembered anyone ever being able to look at my brother like that on a first meeting.

"I think he likes your eyes, big brother," I finally said, not knowing how else to explain it at the time.

I hadn't meant to speak out loud, I was still waiting patiently to be noticed, but Axel heard me and his attention shifted at last. I was scared for a minute, thinking he would turn that fierce emerald gaze on me like he'd been doing with Saïx. And unlike Saïx, I don't have special eyes, they're only blue and can't do anything except see. I would be completely defenseless, and it would hurt.

Except it didn't. The second Axel looked at me, his face changed. So warm and gentle, with a smile that absolutely entranced me. I _fell in love_. No one had ever, ever made me feel that loved before, with no strings attached and no demands, and I felt almost dizzy with it.

"Well, hello there, princess. Who's your little pony friend?"

I nearly died right then. I wasn't just loved, I was a _princess_. And he had NOTICED TWILIGHT SPARKLE. He was the first person ever, EVER, to acknowledge my dear friend as if she was a person.

I whispered my pony's name, barely able to speak from pure joy.

"That's a _gorgeous_ name," he told me. I loved him, I loved him, I loved him _so much_. I wanted to stay with him FOREVER, and ever and ever, so he could be my other big brother and love me and tell me wonderful things FOR-EV-ER.

Saïx said something, but I didn't even hear what it was, I was so fixated on this incredible new person.

"Hey, if your big brother here was a pony, what would _his_ name be?"

He knew. _He knew._ He knew I had pony names for all my family and friends, and I could tell someone at last, at _last_, and he wouldn't be angry about it, he _wanted_ to know. "Saïx's pony name is Moonwolf Crescent, and Daddy is Dragongold," I told him happily. I was already trying out names in my head for this wonderful person, for Axel.

Saïx was talking again, but it was like I had gone deaf to everyone but Axel. I longed for Axel to say something else and love me more.

"What's the matter, bro? Don't like your pony name?"

Saïx didn't like his pony name? It surprised me, though mostly the idea of this being at all important. Of course Saïx didn't like his pony name, he was _Saïx_. He didn't like cookies or Santa Claus, either.

"Of course not. She has no business coming up with something like that."

I was already trying to reassure my brother when I noticed that Axel looked angry, anxious, and concerned. I wondered why.

After that was when Mom and Daddy interrupted us, saying we should leave. Axel let Saïx go - I think both of us had forgotten about my poor brother being trapped - and I ran to grab Axel's hand, unable to get enough of him. I was a little worried for a minute that he wouldn't let me that close to him, but it was like sweet honey on my heart when he smiled that wonderful smile at me again and squeezed my hand in firm reassurance. I loved him _so much_. If something had gone wrong and Daddy had ended up not marrying Lea after all, I wouldn't have cared; I would have dragged Axel back with me and made him be my big brother forever.

"So your name's Princess Xion, huh?"

I could have died happy. I could have _died happy_. I couldn't even speak, but it didn't matter, he still loved me anyway.

"Beautiful. I'm Axel."

Well, I knew that; and he was beautiful, too.

Poor Roxas had been neglected all this time, but I finally noticed him and felt bad that it had taken me so long. I knew how much that hurt. "Who's that?" I asked, even though I already pretty much knew, because I was trying to make it up to him. He looked so upset, too, waiting there with his arms folded and that unhappy look on his face, and I felt so _bad_.

"That grumpy little boy is called Roxas. Maybe you should go over and give him a hug."

Ooooh, it was _perfect_. I ran to throw my arms around Roxas, claiming him as my brother because it wouldn't be fair to take his brother away from him without letting him come, too. I instinctively knew, even back then, that the two of them would always come together, nothing would be able to tear them apart.

"Hey!"

Heh, he didn't like me back then. He's always been stubborn, and it took him a little while to warm up to me.

"She hugged me!"

"'Cuz I told her to."

"_Why_?"

I watched them just toss words back and forth so easily, and I envied them. I've never been able to talk to my own brother like that. Sometimes our conversations manage to hit the right note, so that we can go back and forth smoothly and it feels so natural, but it's always lacked the warmth and comfort and familiarity of what I saw happening between Axel and Roxas.

Then Saïx came up to us. "Come, Xion."

"I'm coming," I said, confused. Then I saw his eyes.

_"Get away from her get away from her she's _my_ sister, mine to protect and care for, get your hands off her, if you hurt her I'll make you wish you'd never been born..."_

I couldn't understand why Saïx would think I was in any danger, but I knew to trust him. Much as I loved Axel, Saïx was the one who had been there for me my whole life. I let him pull me away from those fiery brothers, full of warmth and light, back to where he thought I was safe. Right then, I prayed and prayed that Saïx would please soon love those brothers as much as I did, because I wanted to be safe with _all_ of them together.

"Stay away from them."

Then Saïx and Axel got in a fight with their words, so similar to how Saïx and Vani fight with their eyes, except I think they were both kind of enjoying it.

And Saïx won. I don't think any of us were expecting that, but he _won_, I couldn't believe it, after everything I'd thought of to name Axel with, Saïx just spoke it on his own, without me even having to ask him. "I didn't think so...Teardrop Flurryflame."

"Big brother," I asked breathlessly as he dragged me out, "why didn't you _tell_ me you could do that?"

"Do what?"

"You always say you won't play ponies with me because it's silly and femiwinIcan'tpronounceit, but you found Axel's pony name just like _that_."

His face changed color, and his eyes were going _"This is so ridiculous why did I do that I'm so stupid."_ "I don't know what came over me. It won't happen again."

"Aw...but I wanted you to help me find Roxas's pony name."

"Out of the question."

That day would have been more fun if Saïx and Axel had just stopped _fighting_ every five minutes and tried to get along. They scared each other, I think. I know for sure that Axel scared my brother, anyway; and now that I know Axel better, I think he may have been scared, too. My family's eyes are pretty hard to deal with, after all, and it was only his first time seeing them, or at least seeing Saïx's. He did so well, but there's just no way to handle them gracefully with so little experience.

"Seriously. Do you even own a pair of shorts? Or maybe you're just too embarrassed to let everyone see your milky white chicken legs or something." His voice was perfectly easygoing, but his face was pretty white and he was tense. No wonder, with Saïx determinedly blasting _"I hate you I hate you just leave me alone and go _away_"_ at him.

"Why isn't it working?" Saïx wondered under his breath, which confused me at the time because I could tell that it _was_ working, unfortunately.

"Saïx," I told him, "stop giving Axel yellow eyes, that's mean." Mom tried to smooth things over like she does when she's worried that the boys are making her look bad, and around then was when I noticed that Roxas was scared, too. I didn't really understand that at the time, either. I mean, yeah, Saïx was looking at him, but just with a vaguely unhappy _"I really don't want to be left alone with the children,"_ it wasn't anything near what he'd tried on Axel. Then because Roxas was upset, of course Axel picked a fight with Saïx _again_, so that Daddy had to use _his_ yellow eyes on them.

I knew then that it was getting completely out of hand. I wanted so desperately for them to be friends, but they kept hurting each other and ruining things until it even started annoying Daddy, and this was _not going to work_.

I did my best as the day went on, trying to hold Saïx in check and distract Axel whenever they got too intense about it, but I still felt so useless, and so anxious about a future that looked like I wouldn't be able to keep both of them. I would have to pick Saïx, but I couldn't bear to lose Axel, and I wanted them both so, so, so, so much. They were so _stupid_ for taking so freaking long to like each other.

Daddy and Mom finally left us alone, which I half-heartedly hoped might help. Axel stood there, and even though his eyes don't talk, his whole body was practically yelling, _"I'M PROTECTING ROXAS."_ Saïx stared back at him, going _"Why why why why must I put up with this insufferable person, I want to go _home_..."_

"So. You got anything in mind for what to do next?"

"Yes. You could lose track of me, take the children off my hands, and leave me in peace until we can finally go home."

So my brother was going to run away and hide. Again. *sigh* I try not to blame him, I can't even imagine what it must be like, growing up your entire life with eyes that scare off anyone you might want to be friends with. It's still frustrating, though.

"You know what, fine. I'm turning my back." He actually did it, too, like something out of a cartoon. "Oh, no! I can't see Saïx! Where could he _possibly_ have gone?" He asked me, all sarcastic, if I wanted to go look for Saïx. Of course I wanted Saïx with us, he was my brother and I wanted all four of us _together_, even back then when we barely knew each other. But he was going away, and Axel was still mad at him, and Roxas was still scared of him, and it was so frustrating and I had no idea in the world what to do...

It was still fun, though. When Axel's in a good mood, it's so hard to sulk or be depressed, at least for me. (Our brothers seem to be pretty good at sulking and being depressed in Axel's presence.) I'd been to amusement parks before, but roaming around with Axel and Roxas was different, I _loved_ it. Axel let us do pretty much whatever we wanted and he'd play with us, too, not just stand on the sidelines looking bored.

Well, I think we might have tired him out, because he did start hanging back from some of the rides; but even then, he'd drape himself over the railing and cheer like crazy at us every time we passed by.

And Roxas...ooooh, I _love_ playing with Roxas. He doesn't get worked up over every little thing the way my girl friends do, and he always just says things straight out, making even complicated stuff look really simple. When Axel bought us ice cream, I dropped mine on the very first lick. As I stood there staring at it, Axel offered to buy me another one, but then Roxas just wordlessly picked one of the scoops off of his own ice cream and stuck it on top of my empty cone, and I was so surprised and grateful to him that I started eating it without really thinking. Axel laughed a lot.

Finally, finally, _finally_ Axel told us, pretty much right when I had forgotten all about it, "Roxas! Xion! Let's go Saïx-hunting!"

I won, of course. I knew exactly where to look: quiet, out-of-the-way places where Saïx could work in peace. I didn't think to try the hedge maze until Axel said something about rabbits when we were passing by it, and sure enough, there he was. Some people were bugging him, taking pictures and stuff, but he was still down in a dead end and I don't think many people would have wandered that far.

I pushed the camera people out of the way and ran to my brother. "Hi, Saïx! Did you finish all your homework?"

_"Oh, good, there's Xion, thankyouthankyouthankyou we can finally go home. I hope. I hope we can go home."_ "Just about."

"We were looking for you! I won." Then he and Axel got in a fight _again_. I wanted to hit them both.

We went back to the front of the park where Daddy and Mom were waiting - Mom came _running_ to meet us, she kind of shoved Axel out of the way so she could get to Roxas, and she grabbed him and spun him around laughing like crazy while he kept telling her, "Mom, stop."

"Roxyyyyy!" she shrieked, "You're getting a new daddy!"

Roxas stared at her. "What?"

"_What_?" Axel demanded. Saïx didn't say anything, but I could feel him being shocked even though he was behind me and I couldn't see him.

"We're getting marriiiieeeed!" Mom practically sang, waving her hand around and still laughing. There was something sparkly on her hand.

Daddy came over to us, too. "I've just proposed to Lea."

"You WHAT?" Axel shouted.

I looked at Saïx, whose eyes were going _"No no no no no no no."_

They were insane. My heart was so full of hope and joy that I thought I was going to explode. "So Lea really is gonna be my mommy?"

"Oh yeah!" Lea yelled, shoving Roxas back at Axel and then swooping down on me. "I'm gonna have a daughter! I'm gonna have a _beautiful daughter_ all my very ooowwwnnnn!"

"Mommy!" I cried, so, so happy. "Mommy! You're really my mommy now for real!" She laughed and kissed me, and I could die happy again, I could have died at that moment and still been so happy.

All three of my brothers looked like they'd just watched someone get shot. "Axel," Roxas finally said, pointing at Daddy, "I don't like it. Punch him and make it go away."

"Rox-my-socks," Axel said, hugging him really tight, "trust me, I would _love_ to."

"Why," Saïx said to Daddy. That's all he said with his mouth, but his eyes were going _"Why would you do this why would you do this why would you do this?"_

_"That is not your concern,"_ Daddy said back, without talking.

Saïx got mad then. It's really stupid trying to give Daddy yellow eyes on purpose, but I don't think he could help it that time. _"OF COURSE it's my concern, you're proposing to bring this woman into _my_ life as _my_ mother, you didn't even think to ask how I felt about it-"_

_"IT DOES NOT MATTER HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT,"_ and Saïx turned away like Daddy had hit him. But I saw it for a minute - in Daddy's eyes, he was also saying _"It doesn't matter how _I_ feel about it, either,"_ at the same time. I don't think he meant me to see that, though. Because he glanced at me, and then I couldn't read him anymore, and he reached out and put his hand on the side of my brother's face so that I couldn't see Saïx's eyes, either.

They went on talking without talking, but now Roxas was crying and Mom looked horrified as she ran to him. Even though I don't think Roxas was crying for real.

"Axelll," he sobbed, "Xem was scaring me and I don't want him to be my daddy, please please make it better."

"Urrrgghhh, Rox, don't _do_ this to me," Axel groaned.

"Precious!" Mom cried, grabbing Roxas out of Axel's arms again. Both of the boys looked mad. "What's the matter, precious? I thought you missed Daddy! Don't you want a new one?"

"I want _my_ daddy," Roxas growled. "Xem isn't my daddy, my daddy's dead. I'd rather have a dead daddy than Xem."

Axel was trying to get Roxas back, but then he saw how I was looking at him and stopped. "Oh...hey, princess..."

"Axel," I said worriedly, "do you...not want me for a little sister?" That was okay, that made sense, he already had a little brother and he loved Roxas a lot, he probably didn't have room for me except sometimes, that was okay, I already had a big brother and Saïx was a good brother and I really didn't _need_ Axel even though...I...wanted him, so much-

Axel crouched down and hugged me tight. "I'd _love_ to have you as my sister," he whispered. I burst into tears, but I don't know why. He held me while I cried and stroked my hair, then when I wasn't crying as much he said, "Trust me, princess, I'd put up with your dad and your brother any day if it means I can have you, too. Got it memorized?"

I nodded, because he seemed to want me to say okay, but I couldn't talk or else I'd start crying again. I was holding his shirt really tight so I couldn't wipe my face, but then he smiled and brushed at my cheeks so they felt clean again and kissed my forehead, and I loved him _so much_.

We went out to eat at a restaurant together afterwards, a fancy boring one rather than a fast food one. Saïx was still mad and he sulked the whole time, thinking _"I hate everything"_ so hard that it felt bad to even sit next to him. It didn't help that Axel was mad, too, and taking it out on him, so he'd provoke and provoke until Saïx got fed up and gave him yellow eyes, and Axel would fight back, and it _never ended_.

Roxas was mad, too, and kept throwing tantrums until his mom took him away. Then Axel was upset, so I scooted my chair right next to his and he held me tight, then Mom brought Roxas back and Roxas was all quiet and upset for real, and Axel held him tight, too.

"We were thinking a December wedding," Mom said brightly, as if we were all happy instead of miserable. "To get married at Christmas, doesn't it sound wonderful?"

"What a fantastic idea," Axel said flatly. "So you'll dump us to go off honeymooning and leave us alone at Christmas _again_."

"What are you talking about?" Mom yelped. "_You_ were the one who walked out on _me_ that time!"

"As if you even noticed! It was _Christmas Eve_, and you brought home some drunk you'd never seen before in your life and went straight to-"

I seriously wondered for a minute if maybe Lea somehow had yellow eyes, too. If she did, though, Axel was ignoring them until she suddenly lunged forward. I thought she was going to hit him, but all she did was set her hand alongside his face and press her thumb against one of the tattoos under his eyes. He shut up as if she _had_ hit him, though. "Axel," she growled in a voice that made me shiver, "I - do not - think - this is - appropriate - dinnertime - conversation."

"Yes, ma'am," Axel mumbled. He was holding us really tight, with one hand over Roxas's head as if to protect him.

"Axel, I can't move," Roxas grumbled into Axel's chest.

_"I see you've picked a real winner to replace my mother with,"_ Saïx glared at Daddy, though the next minute I'm pretty sure he wished he hadn't.

"I like Christmas," I managed to say, feeling really scared.

Mom smiled hugely at me. "See? _Xion_ thinks a December wedding is wonderful, don't you, dear?"

"Can I be the flower girl?" I asked, and she kissed the top of my head and said of _course_ I could be her flower girl, she would love that.

"I can throw purple flowers for you," I told her. "Purple is my favorite color." Purple and black, actually, but until I was older, people usually gave me strange looks when I mentioned black, and I didn't want my new mom to think I was weird or bad.

_To be continued..._

Author's Notes: This story got _waaaaayyy_ too long, so I had to split it up, but it was conceived as a one-shot so there was _no good place_ to insert a chapter break. -.-;

**There's some semi-religious views in here that I don't quite agree with...I write according to character flow, which sometimes contradicts my own beliefs.**

**Credits to Taliax for the vanilla scent! I'll explain a little better in the story where it plays a more important role. :)**

I know that it's pushing it to have Xion remember so much from when she was so young, even with the "windows to the soul" thing, but...I mean, I personally have a couple of memories from before I was two. They're just brief moments, but still, it's not like it's impossible. :/


	6. Memories: Xion, part 2

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Memories - Part 2** (ROUGH DRAFT)

Speaking of weird, my family obviously is, though I didn't realize that for a long time. The grown-ups call it "the Speech," or "Speaking;" before I knew that, I called it "yellow eyes." Axel and Roxas call it "doomgazing." I still don't understand exactly how it works, it was so instinctive for me to read it when I was growing up. It's not just with each other, though; they can do it with amber-eyed animals, too.

Axel was pretty mad when he found out that Saïx can talk to his cat, Bomb. This was before Axel started liking him. Axel's and Roxas's birthdays are a few days apart, but they always celebrate it at the same time.

About a month after Daddy and Mom got engaged, Axel and Roxas had one of their birthday parties, and me and Saïx and Daddy got to come. Well, I "got" to come. With my brother and father, it was more like they "had" to come. Saïx came as close to begging as I'd ever seen him do, but Daddy insisted that we were going to be a family with them and we had to do things together as a family, so I got to have my brother with me when we went to the party. Not that I liked feeling his constant _"I hate this I hate this I hate this"_ vibes, but I hoped he would like it better once we actually got to play.

There were soooooo many kids. _So many_. And I got to play with _all of them_. "Look, Saïx!"

"Heaven help me," he whispered.

"C'mon, let's go find Axel and Roxas!"

"Ngh-!" He dragged me to the kitchen instead and actually put together a hamburger and lots of snacks on a plate for me. He only feeds me like that when he's baby-sitting or guilty or when I whine at him or when he's using me as an excuse to hide, so I felt a little bad for him. Even though I couldn't figure out what in the world he would be scared of here.

"Saïx!" Mom shooting-starred across the kitchen and hugged Saïx from behind. "You're heeere! I'm so happy!"

"Are you?" he mumbled.

"And _look_! It's my darling!" She let go of Saïx, and I think that was the last time she touched him or spoke to him or even looked at him the entire party. She pounced on me and hugged me tight. "I'm so happy to see you, sweetie!"

"Hi, Mom," I said happily, and she kissed me just like a mommy should.

"Do you want to eat inside or outside?"

"Can I eat with Axel?" I asked.

She got a funny look on her face, but then it went away. "Well...I'll see what he's doing, just a minute."

Axel didn't have a shirt on because he and a bunch of other big high school boys were playing basketball. Mom yelled for him and he ignored her and then he made a shot and all the boys yelled a lot and scared me a little, even though half of them looked happy. I hid behind Mom. "Come get Xion off my hands!" she yelled even louder, and then he was like "_Xion_?" and his head whipped around and he saw me. He broke out in such a huge smile that I smiled back and relaxed a little.

He ran over and scooped me up like I didn't weigh anything more than the basketball. "You came!"

"You're all sweaty," I noticed. I meant to say something else, like "Hi" or something, but he was getting my dress damp and I forgot.

He laughed. "Sorry, you're right. Where's my shirt...?" He put me down again and we looked for his shirt and we found it and he put it on.

"You're really skinny," I told him, and he winced.

"Yeah, I get that a lot. Hey, c'mere a minute..." He swung me around and brandished me at his friends. "Hey! This is my new little sister. Tell her she's awesome."

A lot of them yelled a lot of different things and scared me a little. One of them with fluffy hair came over and said "Oooooooh, she's little! Can I hold her?"

"Yeah," and Axel started to hand me over, but I said his name and grabbed his sleeve tight. He finally noticed that I was scared. "Hey, princess," he said more gently, and sat down on the ground so that we could see eye to eye. "I never introduced these boneheads, did I. This guy here's Demyx, he's an idiot and lazy as heck, but he's really nice."

"I am not so an idiot!" Demyx said indignantly.

Axel waved his hand like he didn't care. "And that guy over there is Bartz - he has a pet chicken, you'll love it if you ever get to see it."

"Boko's not a chicken!" Bartz insisted.

"Blondie there is named Zidane, and over there is..."

It was better when I knew who they were. I said hi, and they said hi back to me, then when I told Axel that I wanted to eat with him, he took me inside and I got to sit in his lap and eat my hamburger as I watched him play a video game with Demyx.

It was so nice just being with him, but after I finished eating, I got a little restless. Axel noticed and asked if I wanted to go play with Roxas, so I said yes because I hadn't seen Roxas at all the whole time.

"Don't even think about it," Axel warned Demyx as he got up to take me outside.

Demyx laughed. "Forget that, man, I'll be pwning your butt the whole time you're gone."

That made me worried, but Axel didn't really seem to care for real. He took me by the hand and led me outside where all the smaller boys were yelling at the top of their lungs as they hurled water balloons at each other. "OI, ROXAS!" Axel shouted.

Roxas whipped around to face us. "WHAT IS IT?" he screeched back. Then he saw me and his entire face lit up, even though he still looked like he wanted to smash a water balloon into someone's head. "OH, LOOK, IT'S XION," he bellowed.

"Hi, Roxas," I called. He came running over to me and nearly knocked me over, holding my arms tight and grinning in a way that made me half-afraid he wanted to hurt me.

"Hi," he said forcefully. "Come play water balloons."

"Roxas, you're hurting me."

"Yaaaahhhh!" He finally did knock me down, and I was really scared until I started fighting back and he giggled. That's when I realized we were playing. So I wrestled him until I was sitting on his back and holding his arms so that he screamed for real, which scared me again, but when I let go he seemed kind of happy. "WATER BALLOON REVENGE!" He shoved it into my chest so that it burst, getting me all wet. I ran and grabbed the big water gun out of one of his friends' hands and blasted Roxas with it; shrieking, he went for the garden hose and we chased each other around until we were completely soaked.

I was kind of tired, then, too, and really wet. Roxas and his friends stampeded inside to attack the food table, and I went to look for my brother because I was cold now, too, and I wanted him to take care of me.

It didn't take long to find him. The house was kind of small and there weren't a lot of places to hide, so I figured he would be on the front porch where nobody else was, and I was right. "Hi, Saïx."

He was sitting on one of the plastic chairs, and there was a reddish-orange cat sitting on the plastic table so that their faces were level. Saïx blinked every once in a while and the tip of the cat's tail flicked lazily, but otherwise, they weren't moving at all. They were staring at each other in this intense, silent way, exactly like my family does when they're Speaking to each other. I figured it out within seconds, especially since the cat's eyes were almost the same color as my brother's.

"Saïx," I said, going to sit in his lap, "are you talking to the kitty?"

He wrinkled his nose, his eyes saying _"Why is she all wet?"_ "Why are you all wet?" he asked out loud, holding his hands away from me.

"Me and Roxas were playing. Hi, kitty."

The cat looked at me.

"This is ridiculous. There's nothing for you to change into."

"What was the kitty saying to you?"

_"What? What? How did she know?"_ "Cats don't talk, Xion. Don't be ridiculous."

"I know this one does. Is it because he has yellow eyes like you?"

Saïx paused. _"That is...actually a plausible theory."_ "...Xion, why would you...say that?" _"She knows too much about me, this is embarrassing..."_

I reached out to pat the kitty's head, but he shied away from me and jumped down to cuddle against Saïx's ankles.

"You know. The way you guys were staring at each other, like when you and Vani are fighting or when you and Daddy are mad at each other. Except that I don't think you and the kitty were mad, but otherwise it was the same."

"..." He gave a long sigh. "...He wanted to know who you were, because he could tell we're connected. I said you were my sister, but he didn't understand so I explained that it is like you are my 'litter-mate,' and he told me your breath smells like meat and he would like some."

"Oh. Sorry, kitty, I already ate it all..."

Axel came out onto the porch, carrying Roxas on his back. "Oi, Xi, whatcha doin' out here?"

"Talking to Saïx and the kitty."

Axel watched the cat rear up to rub his chin on Saïx's knee. "Hey, Bomb, get away from that bad person."

The cat's name, I guessed. Bomb ignored him and went on making Saïx belong to him.

"Hey! Bomb!" Axel swung Roxas down and stooped down to clap sharply. Bomb didn't like that, and Axel stared at him. "My cat...just hissed at me."

"Bomb always hisses at you," Roxas said.

"No, he always makes I'ma-be-coy-but-you-can-pet-me-once-I've-made-my-point hisses. He's never _mad_ at me."

"He likes talking to Saïx," I told him.

"Xion," Saïx warned.

Axel blinked. "_Talking_ to Saïx?"

"She's being silly," Saïx mumbled, but it didn't matter.

Axel dropped his hands on both arms of the chair so that he was pinning us, and glared hard into Saïx's eyes as he said, "_Tell_ me you cannot freaking talk to my freaking cat."

"I cannot talk to your cat," Saïx said flatly.

"No!" Axel yelled, whipping back up again, "No! No way! That is _stupid_!"

Saïx looked confused, but I knew that Axel hadn't even heard the lie and had seen the truth in his eyes.

"Saïx can talk to Bomb?" Roxas said interestedly. "What'd he say?"

"_Nothing_," Saïx hissed. "You are all being _ridiculous_."

"Bomb, come here," Axel demanded, trying to pick up the cat. Bomb hissed again and swatted at him with his paw. "Stupid cat, I'm gonna throw you in the bathtub if you keep this up!"

"Xion, what'd he saaaaaaay?" Roxas whined.

"This is your birthday party, go enjoy it," Saïx ordered, _"And leave me alone, you're making me anxious,"_ his eyes added.

I thought that maybe Roxas would leave Saïx alone if he got what he wanted, so I translated, "Bomb doesn't like all the noise of the party and wants to stay where it's quiet and he's not bored."

_"How did she _know_ that!"_ Saïx thought, looked a little upset and a lot annoyed.

"Axel," Roxas said, "maybe we should just leave Bomb here. I don't think he minds being doomgazed."

"Doomga- What?" Saïx said.

"No!" Axel burst out. "My cat SO does not like McDoomgaze more than he likes me, that's- not- It's not _fair_!"

"You call it _'doomgazing'_?" Saïx gasped, then closed his eyes and shook his head. "Never mind, I don't care." He pushed me off his lap so he could stand up and take me by the arm. I noticed that he stepped really carefully to avoid hurting Bomb, even though he didn't bother looking down. "Do what you like with your own pet, but can I at least trouble you to help me look for something for Xion to wear? She's a mess, it's disgraceful."

The boys all stared at me, and I smiled back in self-defense.

"Man," Axel laughed, "we don't have any little girls' clothes that I know of...Xion, you mind wearing some of Rox's things?"

"She can't have my Ninja Turtles shirt," Roxas said immediately, "that's _mine_."

"That's okay," I answered Axel.

When Daddy saw me running around in a pair of boys' shorts and a Godzilla T-shirt and found out that it was because I'd gotten my dress too wet to wear, he gave me really bad yellow eyes so that I started crying. But after a minute Saïx stepped in front of me and they Spoke together for a while, and finally Daddy pushed him aside again and started scolding me, but Shielding now so that it wasn't nearly as bad. I still had tears on my face and said "Yes, Daddy" to everything and promised to be good, and finally he let me go play again, but I made Saïx hug me for a while first, until I felt better. He didn't want to because other people could see, but he did anyway because he knows what it feels like and that it's his job to take care of me. The puppy eyes may not work on him like they work on Vani, but I still know how to get to him when it's really important.

It got a lot easier after Axel and Roxas had had some time to work their magic. When my brothers all first met, Saïx and Axel hated each other, Roxas was terrified of Saïx and Saïx pretty much ignored Roxas. I _wish_ so much I could have been there to see what in the world _happened_ to change everything so drastically...

I had gone to a sleepover with my friends, and the next morning, Saïx came to pick me up. He didn't say a word about what had happened the night before, probably because he saw no reason to; I didn't even know that he'd had to baby-sit Roxas while our parents and Axel were out. It was not until we saw Axel and Roxas again that I realized things had changed.

We were waiting on a bench outside Pizza Planet, because they were late (they're _always_ late, which means that now we're late a lot for things, too). I wanted to watch the parking lot so I'd see the _second_ they drove up, and Daddy and Saïx didn't want to be inside where it was so noisy and crowded, so they were both reading as we all sat together.

I saw the car. "Daddy! Saïx! They're here!"

"Torture commencing," Saïx mumbled under his breath, and Daddy made a useless "Mm" sound.

Impatient, I ran to hug Mom when she got out of the car, and she laughed and hugged me back. "Hiiiii, sweetie! I hope you weren't waiting long!"

"Nope," I lied. "I'm glad to see you!" Then I ran around the car to throw my arms around Axel. "Axeeeelllllll!"

"Princeeeesssss!" he laughed, sweeping me up and swinging me a couple of times before planting a big kiss on my forehead and setting me back on my feet. "You comin', Rox?"

"I'm coming," Roxas said, climbing down to the pavement. I hugged him and he told me to stop, pushing me away and shaking my hand firmly because "That's the manly way to say hello."

"I'm not a man," I giggled.

"Oh." He looked really thoughtful for a minute, then finally shrugged, hugged me, and wandered over to his mom.

"We've been waiting," I said happily, taking Axel's hand as we walked up to the building. "We're gonna have sooooo much fun, I can't wait-"

"Saïx!" Roxas suddenly yelled. I looked over, expecting him to hurry back to Axel, but to my surprise, he ran to _Saïx_. "You have to play with us today, HAH!"

Saïx put down his book and stared at Roxas like Roxas was crazy. Roxas was standing there with his arms up, and he finally bounced up and down a couple of times. Me and Saïx realized at the same time that Roxas expected him to pick him up. "I...what?"

"You just gonna leave your little bro hanging like that?" Axel called out, and I whipped my head around to stare at him because he sounded so _friendly_. I'd _never_ heard him speak that way to Saïx before, it was really unexpected. "Shame on you, Sai-in-the-sky!"

I gasped and looked back at my brother, who was glaring daggers at Axel. Axel just _laughed_, he didn't even tense up like he would have before.

"_Do not_ call me that."

"Hey," Roxas said, "if I'm Rox-my-socks, then you have to be Sai-in-the-sky, okay? Or else it doesn't make _sense_."

Now Saïx was glaring at Roxas. _And Roxas just stood there as if he didn't even care._ "Your definition of 'nonsensical' seems to be inaccurate. I refuse to answer to such an address." He turned away and marched straight for Pizza Planet, which is how I knew he was upset, otherwise he would have been hanging back closer to the parking lot.

I would have gone after him if I hadn't been so amazed by the sight of Axel and Roxas grinning at each other, like they knew some secret that I didn't. Somehow, _somehow_, the yellow eyes didn't work on them anymore. Which delighted me (even though I did feel a little sorry for my poor brother). Maybe now the four of us could FINALLY GET ALONG and have fun and be nice to each other.

"Oh," I suddenly realized. "Roxas, do you like Saïx now for real?"

Roxas nodded. "Yup. It worked, just like you said."

"Same here," Axel laughed. "Thanks, princess!"

I beamed at them. "I'm really happy. Now we can have fun."

"_Oh_ yes," Axel said with relish. "Looooots and lots of fun."

Mom finally stopped kissing Daddy and looked behind her to say, "What are you three doing? Hurry up, I'm starving!"

It was the very first time I had ever been to Pizza Planet, and I _loved_ it. Well, what I loved was getting to play with Roxas and Axel and eat junk food, the setting didn't really matter...

Daddy stayed at the table the whole time like a boring grown-up except when Mom dragged him off to win games for her and give her the tickets, and Saïx would have hidden in his book the whole time too if me and our brothers had let him.

"C'monnnnn, Sai-in-the-sky, I bet you couldn't beat me at DDR even if I had my hands tied behind my back."

_"Hate you hate you hate you,"_ Saïx seethed silently.

Roxas climbed into Saïx's lap and put his arms around Saïx's neck and made the face. _The_ face, the one I use to get Vani to do whatever I want the few times he tries to resist me. "Sai-Sai," Roxas said in this little voice, making his eyes look really big and puppy-like. "Pleeeeeaaaase pretty please come play with us?"

I saw Axel melting even though Roxas wasn't even doing it to him, but Saïx just looked disgusted. _"Is he seriously trying to charm me into submission?"_ "Get off me. And don't call me that."

I went to help, standing at Saïx's knee and trying to look at him with as much disappointment as I could. "Saïx," I said sadly, "is Roxas's big brother better than my big brother...?"

Saïx gritted his teeth, and it hurt a little, the way his eyes were blaring _"No no NO I will not let him take her respect away from me,"_ but it was worth it because it was working. "Of _course_ your brother is better than his."

Axel grinned and started to lean forward to pin Saïx again, but this time Saïx was faster, standing up really quickly and glaring. Since Roxas was still in his lap, that meant that he had to hold Roxas in his arms as he got up, which kind of ruined his attempt to be intimidating. I could tell Axel was trying not to laugh as he challenged, "Prove it."

"Very well," Saïx said shortly, "and if I win, the term 'Sai-in-the-sky' will _never_ cross your lips again."

"W00t!" Axel crowed, "Bring it!" He started to bound off, but Saïx quickly caught his arm.

"Are we in accord?" my brother asked meaningfully.

"Sorry," Axel said cheerfully, "I don't speak Ner-"

"Do we have an _agreement_," Saïx clarified in exasperation.

Axel rolled his eyes. "Fine," he huffed. "You win a round of DDR, no more Sai-in-the-sky for you. And if I win, you have to play five more games and give me all the tickets." He grinned again. "By the way, can I have my brother back?"

Saïx looked down at Roxas still in his other arm, who smiled in an Aren't-I-cute? way. Looking a little disgusted again, Saïx shoved Roxas at Axel and then stalked off to the DDR machines.

Axel and Roxas burst into laughter, and Axel gave me a high five. "Nice job, princess."

Then we went to the machines, too, and as Axel was sticking tokens into them, Roxas looked at me and said, under all the noise of the rest of the games, "You have to teach me how to do that to Saïx. I thought he wasn't like Axel, but I guess he is, maybe just different."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Don't worry, I'll show you." We smiled at each other, then moved closer to the machines to watch.

Axel danced a _lot_ better than Saïx, but for some reason, Saïx's scores were higher. I think it was because he was doomgazing the machine so hard that he could read its mind or something. He was stomping away at the arrow buttons like a robot and kept getting constant Perfect!s; Axel was more fun to watch, though.

"They're so good," I said in awe.

"Axel's winning," Roxas said confidently.

"No, Saïx is."

"Huh? He is not!"

"Look at the numbers in the corner, Saïx's is bigger than Axel's."

"Whaaaat?" Roxas stepped closer and yelled, "Axel, dance BETTER!"

"Don't distract me!" Axel yelled back, sounding a little frantic. Saïx's machine didn't look so good, I could see a little bit of smoke start coming out of the edges of the screen.

Roxas clenched his fist and whispered under his breath, "Win Axel win Axel win Axel win Axel win Axel..."

Saïx's machine was now definitely broken, and I was kind of afraid it was going to blow up. Right when the message flashed that Saïx had won, there was a popping noise and the screen went black, and now smoke was _pouring_ out of the machine.

Axel was staring at nothing, looking like his brain had broken, too. After a minute, Saïx turned to him with this tiny little smile, I think the first time he had ever smiled in Axel and Roxas's presence. "Victory goes to me," he said smugly.

"Axel, you're lame," Roxas pouted.

"AAAARRRGGHHHHH!" Axel yelled. "Again! Rematch! I am OWNING you, Moonwolf!"

"Give it up, Axel," Saïx said tiredly.

From then on, I felt like I was in heaven sometimes. My family was getting bigger, and they loved me and each so much more than I was used to, and I couldn't get enough of it. It wasn't perfect...Saïx took a long time to really warm up to our brothers, and even when he did, he still had a hard time showing it. Daddy and Axel kind of tolerate each other for everyone else's sake; Axel and his mom...well, it's always been a little weird between them, I've never been able to figure it out for sure except that I think his tattoos might have something to do with it. And Mom is...sometimes different than she was before the wedding...sometimes she gets mad. It's really easy to not make her mad, I just have to be really nice to her and be a good girl; but one time when I was kind of bad...well, that's going to be the last time, ever, because I'm never going to make her mad again. Saïx still fights with Axel and Roxas sometimes, though just the way normal brothers do, so I think it's okay; and Vani - well, he's Van. But it was still good. It _is_ good, I'll never stop being grateful. And I'd never forgive myself if I ever did anything to mess that up...

Like the time me and Roxas went off without telling anyone, and I thought we were gonna die when Saïx and Axel finally found us.

It's not like we _meant_ to run away without permission. We were just playing on the playground after school like usual, and we were traveling around the fence on our quest to find The Ring...and we found a hole in the fence.

We _fit_, perfectly, like that hole was _supposed_ to be there for kids to crawl through. I mean...it wasn't, I knew that really, in the back of my mind. It's just that Roxas really wanted to see what was on the other side, and I knew we shouldn't but I _reeeeaaally_ wanted to see, too, and I thought we'd just take a peek and then come back. But I forgot about that when we 'went into the cave' and found a 'magical land' beyond...

It was so cool. There was a _tree house_. Daddy won't let the boys make one in our yard, and Roxas was SO HAPPY to see it. "Look, Xion," he said. "If we fight the dragon and kiss the princess, that castle will be all ours."

"Who's fighting the dragon and who's kissing the princess?" I asked. "Am I the princess?" Axel always calls me one, after all.

"Ew, no! That'd mean I have to kiss you!"

"Oh." I thought about that. "You can kiss me on the cheek."

"_No_. Let's just kill the dragon first."

"Okay. Where is it?"

Well, first we had to find swords and shields and helmets. That kind of took a long time, but it was fun, looking for the _perfect_ sticks and stuff and making them even more perfect. I told Roxas about all the jewels and things that were on mine until he got bored and stopped listening, and I named my sword Oathkeeper and Roxas named his Oblivion.

Then we made solemn vows of eternal brotherhood to each other, in case one of us was slain while fighting the foul beast. Then we _charged_...

Well, it wasn't all that fun hitting a tree, but we killed the dragon and then while we were doing a victory dance, somehow we got to wrestling instead. Roxas won for once, then we were thirsty so we tried to break into the house for something to drink. I didn't think that was a good idea, but Roxas was like, "Come _on_, Xion, no one _lives_ here." And he was right, so I tried not to mind.

We weren't able to get in, though, so finally we gave up and went to get our swords back. "Hey," I remembered, "we just left the princess asleep."

"Oh yeah," he said, not looking very happy about that.

"I can kiss her if you want," I offered.

"No, it's the knight who gets to kiss the princess."

"I'm a knight, too," I pointed out.

"Hm." He thought for a while. "We should just take over the castle and leave her asleep."

"Roxas! We can't do that, it's mean!"

"Oh, whatever. Maybe we could just dump a bucket of water on her instead..."

"We can't get any water, remember?"

"Oh yeah."

"Maybe there's a hose," I offered.

We were still looking for one when - well, for just a second, I really thought they were dragons, invading so suddenly, so I screamed in this weird mix of surprise and fear and delight. But it was really just Saïx and Axel, and I kind of wondered in the back of my mind why they'd taken so long to show up.

"I'LL KILL YOU," Axel bellowed, and I assumed he was playing along like usual.

Roxas was yelling, too, "Head for cover!" so without even thinking about it, we both dashed for the tree house and climbed up into it. Then we huddled together, trying not to giggle too much, as we listened to our brothers moving around below. Saïx was saying something in his calm, reassuring voice, though I couldn't hear what the words were.

But then, "Get Roxas down here so I can _thrash_ him," Axel snarled, and I suddenly realized that he wasn't playing. I'd never seen Axel truly angry like this before, and _never_ at me or Roxas. I suddenly felt sick, and a horrible lump crept into my throat. I was so, so sorry for whatever we had done wrong, I wanted to die of shame, if Axel hated me I felt like I would break into pieces...

I looked at Roxas, but to my amazement, he still looked excited and gleeful. Maybe I was wrong...maybe Axel...really was just playing...

One of them was climbing up to us. I couldn't move, not sure if it was Axel or Saïx but terrified that it would be either of them. I clutched Roxas's arm hard, feeling breathless with apprehension...

A flash of blue, and a surge of relief. Saïx, at least, I could handle...he wouldn't be mad for long. I smiled as best I could, but as soon as his face rose over the edge of the floor, I knew we were in _big_ trouble.

His eyes. Oh...

As soon as he looked at us, Roxas got scared too and started clutching me back. Saïx is annoyed or grumpy nearly all the time, but it's really, really hard to get him angry for real, I've only ever seen my golden-eyed family manage to do it. Right now, he was angry for real. I tried to smile, tried to be sweet and win him over, but I couldn't; I was the one who'd been bad this time, I deserved to be hated, and his eyes...

I can almost always read them. Almost always. Everyone once in a while, though-

He doesn't know how to Shield yet. But those times when he gets angry, really angry, it doesn't matter. I couldn't even describe what's in his eyes anymore, just that it's like when Daddy punishes one of us, except with Saïx it's _so much worse_ because even though it's not as strong, usually he's so much softer and he's the one who takes care of me and all the things he hides from everyone else are right there for me to see, so having _him_ be the one to look at me like that, even though it doesn't hurt as much as when Daddy does it, somehow it still hurts so, so, so much worse...

I couldn't stand it. I wanted to die. I'd rather die than not be loved anymore.

"I'm sorry," I tried to whisper, but my voice was so small that even _I_ couldn't hear it. _'I'm so sorry I'm so sorry please don't hate me oh please don't hate me...'_

"You told no one where you were going." He didn't yell. I wish he'd yelled. But his voice was so quiet, it scared me even more than I was already scared.

"'Course not," Roxas said, and I was shocked at how defiant he sounded. How could he _sound_ like that, how could he not be groveling when Saïx was looking at us like that? "They would have stopped us."

"_Obviously_," Saïx said, and I wanted to shrivel up even though he wasn't talking to me. Roxas felt the same, because he tried to hide behind me, which shocked me with the unfairness even though I understood perfectly. My turn, when was it going to be my turn for Saïx to speak to me in that awful quiet voice and make me feel even worse...? "Did it ever occur to either of you that it might be _important_ for the adults to know where you are?"

Yes, it had, sort of, but I'd forgotten, or I hadn't really thought about it, I thought we'd just be a minute. I didn't know we'd take ages, but he'd say that it was my responsibility to figure that out anyway and I should have done the right thing. I should have done the right thing but I didn't, I was bad, and now he hated me he hated me and his eyes _hurt_ so much... "S-Saïx, I'm sor-ry," I tried to say, and it was so hard to talk but I had to _try_ to tell him how sorry I was, at least. Maybe he'd...maybe he'd forgive me if I could tell him how very, very, very sorry I was...

"Grown-ups just ruin all the fun," Roxas muttered, and I wanted to _hit_ him. Why wasn't he saying sorry, too? Did he _like_ feeling like he was completely worthless and dirty?

"Saïx, don't tell Daddy," I begged. Because it was already bad enough that Saïx and Axel hated me, like my world had broken into pieces. If Daddy hated me, too... "Please don't tell Daddy!"

"You say this, yet I don't see you making any attempt-"

I had to do whatever he wanted. I went to him as fast as I could, even though it hurt getting close to him, because maybe if I did what he wanted, maybe maybe maybe he wouldn't hate me anymore...

He grabbed my arm and I winced, not because it hurt but because just having him touch me when he was so angry, but it helped to have him holding me as I swung down, dropping to the ground once he'd lowered me close enough. Then I stood there and shivered, knowing that Roxas was all alone now, knowing that when Saïx finally came down, he was going to look at me in that horrible way some more and keep hating me. I couldn't stand it, I couldn't _stand_ it, but I didn't know what to do...

I looked around hopelessly for Axel, but he was sitting far away with his arms cross and his back turned, and I wilted because I knew it was hopeless there, too; Axel hated me, too. I couldn't stand it.

He was coming down. I wanted to run, but there was nowhere to run. Still, I backed away when he came toward me, and I felt so trapped and helpless and sick when he held my face so that I had to keep looking into his eyes, and I couldn't _move_. "Never do that again." That was all he said, but I could _feel_ so much more behind it, that I'd done something terrible and as bad as this was now, it would be so much worse if I ever did anything like this again. I never would. I _never would_.

"I won't," I tried to tell him, barely able to speak. "I won't, I won't, I won't, Saïx do you still love me?" It slipped out, I hadn't meant to ask because I already knew that he didn't anymore, I'd ruined it; but then-

His eyes. Something in them broke... Suddenly they didn't hurt to look at anymore, suddenly I could read them again like always, and I was horrified in a different way at the rush of pain and relief and joy and fury and confusion that was surging there. _"So relieved so relieved so relieved she can't _do_ that again if she does it again I my heart, I thought I didn't care thought she was little more than a burden but no it hurts so much my chest feels empty if she'd been hurt was gone my heart, so empty, can't feel a thing but no if I lost her, if I was human instead of the terrible cold heartless creature I am it would have hurt _so much_ I know why Axel broke down now _why_ would Axel do this to himself so willingly these children not precious not precious not precious so then why would it be so devastating if anything had truly happened to them...?"_

I hadn't just made him angry, I'd _hurt_ him. I hadn't wanted to hurt anyone ever, ever again, but here I'd made my brother, I'd made _both_ my brothers suffer just because I'd been stupid and thoughtless and had done what I _knew_ I shouldn't have done. I deserved to be hated. I couldn't stand even the thought of being hated, but I knew that's what I deserved; except that there in Saïx's eyes was love, all that anger and pain and confusion was because he _loved me_...

I threw my arms around him and burst into tears, felt his hands resting gently on my back and heard his calm voice reassuring me. It was over...it was over and somehow I was still loved, I couldn't ever let anything like this happen again...

After a while, I heard Axel yell, and I flinched and held Saïx tighter as I looked over my shoulder. Roxas had come down and was with Axel, but Axel was so, so mad at him and I could see how horrified Roxas was. I couldn't bear to look and hid my face against Saïx again, but couldn't help peeping through my hair to keep watching, too.

Roxas finally crept closer, looking beaten by Axel's rejection in a way that amazed me, since he'd been so unrepentant to Saïx. He pulled at Axel's sleeve and whispered, "Alexa, I'm really, really sorry."

Alexa? Alexa is a girl's name...

Axel suddenly whirled around, and I gasped because I realized, in that one second, he'd suddenly forgiven us for everything. I didn't understand it. "I told you never to call me that in front of Saïx!"

"Alexa?" Saïx said, in his normal voice when he thinks our brothers are being silly, and I knew he'd forgiven us, too.

"He couldn't say my name right when he was a baby!" Axel yelled in his usual way instead of the mad way he'd yelled before, and I was so relieved that I couldn't help giggling.

"Alexa's a girl's name," I said shyly, almost as an apology. I wanted him to grin and say something teasing.

"_Thank_ you for letting me know that, Xion," he said, and he didn't call me princess but at least he didn't sound too mad now and the corner of his mouth was quirking a little.

"Alexa's still easier to say," Roxas mumbled.

Saïx sighed. "Well, I'll have to save that interesting piece information for future use. Right now, it's getting late, and Father will be home soon-"

Oh, no. No, nonononono, couldn't make Daddy mad, not today, not after what had just happened, I was already worn out and I wouldn't be able to take it-

Axel and Roxas were already running. Saïx scooped me up and followed quickly after and handed me over the fence to Axel before climbing it himself. Then we all held hands and ran - we didn't plan it or talk about it or anything, and I think Saïx kind of wanted to let go after a minute, but that's just what happened. I squeezed his hand tighter so that he _couldn't_ let go. We were all together again and we still loved each other, and I didn't want anything else to come and break us apart again...

We got home before Daddy did. Barely. His car wasn't in the driveway; Axel dashed ahead and stabbed his key at the lock and swore until Saïx finally came up and pushed him aside and unlocked it himself. We all burst into the house together and Mom yelled from the kitchen that we were being too loud, and then I shrieked when I saw Daddy's car drive up.

"Quick," Axel yelped, and dove to turn the TV on. Saïx tried to rip a book off the shelf and then cursed when lots more books came tumbling down, which is how I knew he was scared because he never swears in front of me and Roxas.

Mom came into the living room. "What are you all _doing_?"

I didn't answer, I was too busy crawling around picking up all the books so that Saïx could jerk them out of my hands and jam them back on the shelf. Axel was frantically scrubbing the sweat off Roxas's face with his sleeve and telling him to "Stop looking so red!" and Roxas kept trying to push him away. Saïx finally grabbed me and plopped us both in a chair and opened the one book he hadn't put back on the shelf. It was upside-down, and he quickly flipped it the right way up as we heard Daddy turning the doorknob.

When Daddy came in and stopped to look at us, he saw Saïx pretending to read in the easy chair, with me curled up next to him and nervously trying not to look at Daddy. Axel was lounging on the couch with Roxas in his arms, except that he was clutching Roxas a little too tightly, and Roxas was saying, "I want cartoons," because the TV was showing one of those boring judge shows. Mom was standing on the other side of the room, staring at us all like we were crazy.

"Did you just get home?" Daddy asked suspiciously, and I hid my face against my brother's sleeve.

"We've been home," Saïx said casually.

"Why aren't you in your room?"

"...I felt like...being sociable with my family today."

"So you're reading _An Encyclopedia of Canines_ instead of a school assignment," Daddy said coldly, "or doing something that is actually sociable, such as conversing with your siblings." Saïx looked at the cover of the book for the first time and didn't say anything.

"Axel," Daddy went on.

"Yes, sir?" Axel sang out in a cheeky way I knew Daddy would hate.

"You are usually more considerate of your brother than this."

Axel quickly grabbed the remote and changed it to a cartoon show, but Roxas was really quiet now and not even looking at the TV, he was staring at Daddy like a deer caught in the headlights.

"Why are you all still in uniform?"

None of us answered, so Mom did. "They just came _bursting_ in here a few seconds ago, all loud and out of breath. I have no idea what they've been doing all afternoon."

Daddy was starting to give us yellow eyes, so Saïx stood up in front of me and said, "My apologies, sir. We lingered on the way home and neglected to inform anyone of our whereabouts."

Axel jumped up, too, coming over to stand with Saïx and shoving Roxas behind him. "My idea, obviously, since Sai's a goody-two-shoes and just wanted to go straight home and be boring _as usual_."

Roxas was crying a little now. I knew why, because I was, too. Everything was our fault, and our brothers weren't even letting us get in trouble for it. "Daddy," I tried to say, "we-" Without even looking, Saïx reached back and jerked me close, his hand covering my mouth.

"I do not appreciate being lied to," Daddy said very coldly, and I could feel Saïx flinch.

"Sir-"

"Oh, come ON!" Axel burst out angrily. "Are we not _allowed_ to hang out after school like _normal teenagers_? What's the big deal, huh? So we got home an hour or two later than usual, big whoop; if you weren't such a flaming control freak-"

"_Axel_," Saïx hissed.

Daddy's voice seemed to thunder even though he wasn't really talking that loud. "You answer to me. While you are underage and still living under this roof, I am responsible for you, and I am fully within my rights to know where you are at all times. I _trust_ the two of you to look after your younger siblings. If anything unexpected occurs or you wish to change your plans, you _must_ inform me or your mother and get permission. I cannot have you loitering in places or engaging in behavior that could damage the family reputation, or exposing the children to anything inappropriate for them to see or know at their age-"

"We weren't doing ANYTHING WRONG!"

"Me and Xion did," Roxas whispered miserably, and Axel hissed at him to shut up.

"Perhaps I should allow the children to speak for themselves," Daddy said coldly.

"It has already been taken care of," Saïx told him, still holding me.

"_I_ will be the judge of that. I will question them in private if you insist on being a hindrance." Saïx went rigid, and Axel made an incoherent outraged noise.

"Hey," Mom said, hurrying forward, "_I'll_ take care of precious, it's not your job to be punishing him."

"No," Roxas whimpered, clinging tighter to Axel.

"Not my job?" Daddy said coolly.

"He's _mine_," Mom said angrily. "I don't care what you do to the others, but you keep your stupid doomgaze away from my son."

Saïx looked at Axel, who tightened his jaw but didn't say anything. Daddy glanced at us and then pulled Mom farther away so they could talk - argue - in whispers, and then our older brothers quickly turned on us. "Hey," Axel said hotly, "what is _with_ you all, making it sound as bad as possible? I swear, Saïx, the way you kiss up to him makes me want to throttle you both-"

"Give way easily and it's over with easily," Saïx said shortly. "Resist, and it gets drawn out and more difficult. There's no way to avoid it entirely." I was surprised to realize that me and Saïx both knew how it worked. I'd even done it on him earlier - if I'd acted like Roxas, I don't think he would have forgiven me so quickly. I'd seen him do it to Daddy, too, which is how I learned, but I'd never heard it put in words until now.

"I'd rather tell Daddy the truth out here, with all of you," I said miserably, clutching my brother's hand.

"_I_ don't wanna get spanked," Roxas grumbled. "I'd rather be doomgazed."

"Okay, look," Axel said. "You two just keep quiet and say as little as possible. I'll distract Mom, and Saïx you do whatever you do with your dad-"

"Axel, it's not going to work," Saïx said tiredly. "We can't save them from every little thing."

Roxas grabbed Axel's clothes and made the face at him, eyes filling with tears. "Please, please Alexa, don't let-"

"_Don't_ even start, Roxas Aubade," Saïx snapped, yanking him away from Axel even as Axel, looking like he was about to cry too, was about to hug him.

"Hey!" Axel yelled.

"Axel, he's molding you like _putty_, it's disgusting. Now listen, we-"

We all suddenly stood at attention again, because Daddy was coming back, glaring at us a little. Mom stood next to him with her arms folded and her face tight. "Well?" Daddy said.

I took a deep breath and stepped forward and said, "Me and Roxas were playing on the playground in afterschool care and we saw a hole in the fence and I reeeeaaaally wanted to see what was on the other side, and Roxas didn't want to but I made him do it because he's littler than me and I thought we'd be only a minute but we forgot and we were playing and Saïx and Axel were looking _all over_ for us for a long time and they were really worried so they forgot to call you, and they found us and we got punished but it's okay because they still love us and Daddy you can punish me too but please do you still love me, please?"

There was a long silence.

Finally, Daddy said, "All four of you, go to your rooms. You are not to set foot out of them without my express permission or, for Axel and Roxas only, your mother's. No supper, no recreation. That means no toys or games, Roxas. You are to study or reflect on your behavior until bed time, and none of you are allowed to look at or communicate with each other in any way until morning. Are we clear?"

"Yes, sir," me and Saïx said immediately.

"Yes, sir," Axel grumbled, holding Roxas's hand tight.

"Am I still getting spanked?" Roxas asked.

Axel quickly picked him up and said "_No_ you're not," shoving past Mom and putting Roxas in his room and shutting the door and glaring at Mom before marching into his own room and slamming the door.

Me and Saïx followed. I thought Saïx was going to go straight to his room, but he stopped to open the door of mine first. I tugged him down and kissed him before going inside. Then the door shut, and I'd only been separated from my brothers for just a second, but already I was so lonely...

When I woke up, feeling my stomach all tight and growly, I gasped because it was Axel and Roxas who had woken me up. "Go away!" I cried in a whisper, because it had been _horrible_, trapped in my room for so long with nothing to do and feeling how much the people I loved were missing, and now they were going to ruin it and we'd get in trouble again and I'd have to be separated from them for even _longer_...

Axel smiled and pointed at the clock, and I realized that even though it was dark outside, it was almost 6:00 a.m. and counted as 'morning.' I hoped. I still whispered, though. "Are we gonna get Saïx now?"

"Yup."

We all went across the hall. Axel stood by the bed and set his palm alongside Saïx's face; Saïx turned closer into his hand and made a "Mm" sound.

"Saïx," Roxas said, taking his hand, "time to wake up now. You have to make pancakes for me because all Axel knows how to make is cereal."

"That's not true," Axel said indignantly.

"Mrgh," Saïx said, his fingers closing over Roxas's.

I climbed up to sit on the bed and bounced a little. "Sai-Sai, I love you."

"Love you too," he mumbled, which was when I realized he was still asleep.

"Wake up, Moonwolf!" Axel yelled.

Saïx's eyes flew open, then he sat up and stared at us. "What are you all _doing_?"

"Returning from exile," Axel said happily. "Missed you, bro."

"It's only been about eleven hours, and we've been asleep for most of them," Saïx said in annoyance. "I suggest you look up the term 'co-dependency.'"

My stomach growled again. "Sai-Sai, I'm hungry," I said. "I want pancakes, too." Well, I really wanted Pop-Tarts, but those are too easy to make and I don't need my brother for them.

"My alarm hasn't even gone off yet. Go away."

Saïx tried to lie down again and pull the pillow over his head, but I made a sad face at him and said, "I'm so hungry...I never got to eat dinner last night..."

Saïx paused.

"I can't cook to save my life," Axel lied. "You leave it to me and these poor kids'll probably end up with food poisoning or something."

"...Ugh." Saïx finally sighed and climbed out of bed. "Just so you know, don't think I can't see straight through you all. I simply know that I'm not going to be allowed to go back to sleep anyway."

"Yay!" I cheered, hugging him. "I love you, big brother."

"Yes, I know, you have made this abundantly clear."

"It's still true~," Axel teased, wrapping his arms around his shoulders; Roxas didn't want to be left out and glomped Saïx, too.

"Get _off_ me."

**December 2005**

We've been waiting at the airport for a long time. Daddy is reading, as usual; Mom didn't come. Roxas is running his cars along the chairs, making vrmmm noises. Sometimes he gets too loud and Daddy tells him to stop. Axel is texting his friends, and I'm drawing a picture of Moonwolf Crescent because I've been missing the real one so much. Soon, though...I'll get to see him again so, so soon, and it's hard to focus on my picture but whenever I don't, my head feels like it's going to burst from impatience.

"There he is!" Axel suddenly yells.

"Axel, keep your voice down in public areas," Daddy says in annoyance, but Axel's already running.

"Don't run!" Daddy shouts after us as me and Roxas run, too.

We look at each other and stop, then Roxas suddenly grins and starts galloping. "We're not 'running,' right?"

I laugh and gallop along beside him.

Axel stops to wait for us to catch up, and I really do mean to stop with him, but then I _forget_ because I see the one I've been looking for coming out of the plane with all the other people. I meant to call out to him, too, but I think that's another thing I forgot. I'm still running, and I throw myself at him and squeeze my arms around him as tight as I can, and I nearly knock him over and he drops his bag, but for once I don't think he minds. Saïx puts his arms around me too and whispers in my ear, "I missed you, princess."

I could die happy. "You called me princess."

"Axel doesn't have the term trademarked, does he?" he mumbles. He's blushing now, but his eyes are going _"So glad to see her so glad to see her so glad to see her."_

"I missed you a lot, too."

"Thanksgiving was just a few weeks ago."

"I don't care. I still missed you. And I know you missed me, too."

"I never have been able to lie to you," he murmurs, hugging me again.

"Is college really that bad?" I asked, suddenly worried.

He laughs a little. He does that more nowadays. Just a little. "No. It simply does not have you there."

Axel and Roxas finally come up, grinning a lot like they do when Saïx doesn't act as Saïxey as usual. "Can we cut in now?" Axel asks. "Or are you still busy with your heartwarming reunion?"

"We're finished," Saïx says, stepping away from me, and I giggle.

Roxas raises his arms pointedly. "I want some heartwarming."

Saïx sighs a little and hugs him, though he's not frowning, either. "It's good to see you."

"Okay, Sai!" Axel spreads his arms wide. "Bro-hug, just like we practiced!"

"Axel-"

"Handshake first-"

"_Axel_-"

"Manlier, dude!"

"This is not-"

"This is the part where you're supposed to clap my back."

"Ugh." Saïx pulls free and says with a glare, "Good to see you, too," before scooping up his bag and stalking away.

Axel laughs. "Man alive, I missed him. So fun. C'mon, Xi." He smiles and holds out his hand. I smile back and take it, and Roxas's hand, too, and we all catch up to Saïx before he reaches Daddy so that the four of us are together.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: More bedroom confusion...I couldn't decide whether _all_ four of the kids would get their own rooms, or if Axel & Roxas would share a room. I'm still not sure exactly _how_ rich Xem is. I guess it's a magical adapts-to-the-author's-needs house until I get around to deciding for the final drafts. *smile/sweatdrop*

By the way, I do have a timeline for this series, but even though I use the same calendar system, it's still an AU. For example, "2005" in this universe is not the same as "2005" in the real world, like as far as technological developments and stuff.


	7. Siblings All the Way: Saix

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Siblings All the Way** (ROUGH DRAFT)

Summary: The bonds between us are thicker than blood.

A/N: Saïx's POV.

o.o.o

Just because I was good at schoolwork didn't mean I automatically made a good tutor. Axel probably couldn't write the essay required by the application to save his life, but I also probably could not have assisted him in any useful way to save my own life. ...Short of simply writing the essay myself. Which I refused to do.

"Aaarrrggghhh, this is so stupid, why do I even need to do this stupid program, anyway!"

"So that you can pad out your college applications and future job resume with extracurricular activities, get accepted to a good university, and make our parents look better," I tried to explain through gritted teeth. "Now come _on_. If you honestly do have so little ambition in life, then make something up."

"In my future, I want to be an astronaut," he said mockingly.

I was sorely tempted to pick up my copy of _Les Misérables_ and hit him in the face with it.

We both heard the children rampaging upstairs, and Axel had already swiveled around in his seat and was poised to greet them when they barged in.

"Police!" Roxas shouted. "This is a stick-up!"

"_No_, Roxas!" Xion insisted, "That's what you say when you're the bad guy!"

"Put your hands in the air," Roxas ordered, pointing his fingers at Axel in the shape of a gun.

"What'd I do, Officer?" Axel whined as he complied.

"You ran a red light," Roxas said importantly. "I'm gonna shoot you."

I shut my eyes and rubbed at my temples in exasperation.

Xion sounded just as frustrated. "Roxas, I thought we were playing traffic cop."

"Yeah. We are."

I opened my eyes again. "Police officers don't shoot people for running red lights."

"The one on TV did."

"That was an action movie, Rox-my-socks," Axel clarified. He actually looked _amused_ about all this. Well, of course he did - all the disruption meant that he could procrastinate on the assignment some more. "Movies aren't real."

"I know that. I'm not dumb."

"He means that they're often not realistic, either," I said in my own attempt at clarification.

"You're confusing." Roxas wandered away again with Xion.

I sighed. "All right, so getting back to your outline-"

"Hey, look, a puppy!"

"...Did you..._honestly_ expect such a juvenile attempt at distraction to work?"

"Nope. But couldn't hurt to try, right?"

I shook my head. "Axel, please. We've _got_ to get through this, and the sooner we buckle down to work, the sooner we'll finish and never have to worry about it again. Please, just for a few minutes, _focus_ and think about what-" I stopped. We both listened to the sound of something heavy banging its way upstairs.

The children barged into my room again, this time using a box with the bottom knocked out of it as some sort of play-vehicle.

"You're under arrest," Xion announced.

"Oh nooooo!" Axel cried, throwing himself to the floor at her feet. Apparently he couldn't even stand being in close proximity to anything resembling schoolwork.

"You speeded!" Roxas accused with relish, wriggling out from the box and sitting on Axel's back to pin his hands. His version of handcuffing, perhaps.

"I wasn't speeding, I swear!" Axel insisted in an exaggerated whine.

"Yes, you were! I'm taking you to jail!"

"Excuse me, sir," Xion said to me politely, "I'm gonna need to see some I.D."

"If I give it to you, will you go away?"

"Yup."

I retrieved my school I.D. card and handed it over, not trusting her with my driver's license.

"Thanks!"

I folded my arms on my desk and rested my head on them, wishing that everyone, including Axel and his stupid assignment, would just go _away_.

"Pleeeaase, pleeeeeeaaaaaaase don't arrest me, offic- _Ow_!"

"You're a bad guy!"

"Ow- Okay, look, Rox, enough's enough-"

"Xion, read 'im his rights!"

"_Owwwww_, Roxas! For crying out loud, there's only so much abuse I can take here!"

I finally just got up and stalked out of my own room.

"Help! Sai! Police brutality!"

Ignoring him, I shut the door and headed downstairs. Of course, there was almost nothing to _do_ downstairs, so I began rummaging around in the pantry.

Father found me just as I was sitting down to eat. "Did Axel finish that assignment?"

"...No, sir." I was already getting up again.

Back in my room, the children had our entire family's identification cards spread out on the floor, and were poring over them: Father's, Lea's, and Axel's driver's licenses, my school I.D., and the children's own lunch cards with their student numbers on them. Axel was flipping through a comic.

"Saïx?" Xion asked. "Why do Roxas and Axel have different last names?"

I looked down. _Xem Nas Acerbi_, _Lea Isa Hayes-King_, _Axel Deucalion Hayes_, _Saïx Sirius Acerbi_, _Xion Acerbi_, _Roxas Aubade King_. I had never seen our names all together like this before.

Axel silently sat up and pulled Roxas into his lap, holding him close as if to protect him from something. Or as if trying not to lose him.

"Well," I said slowly, answering my sister's question, "it seems like they might have different fathers." If it was true, I would not be at all surprised.

Axel glared at me. "We're _brothers_."

Roxas turned serious blue eyes to me and said, as if he was reciting something he had long ago memorized, "It doesn't matter who my father is or your father is, we are brothers and always will be, no matter what happens. Brothers all the way."

"Yeah," Axel said proudly. "That's right."

Xion was staring at them with great interest. "So Roxas and Axel have different daddies like how I have different mommies?"

Axel blinked. "Wait, what?"

He hadn't known. "Xion is of no blood relation to us at all," I said quietly.

He gaped at me. Roxas just looked annoyed, the way he always did when I used vocabulary he didn't know.

Xion was giving me a worried look. She crawled closer to me and said anxiously, "I'm still your sister, right?"

Of course she was. I laid a hand on her head, meeting her eyes squarely. "When you entered our household, you became one of us." She smiled and reached up to grasp my arm with both hands, holding it there so that I could not pull away. If I had been so inclined, which, for some reason, I wasn't.

"Wait," Axel said, "Xion's adopted?"

"My first mommy didn't want me anymore," Xion explained matter-of-factly, "so she said anyone else could have me. Daddy and Saïx and my second mommy picked me and took me home to live with them."

"Well," I muttered, "I was hardly old enough at the time to have any say in the matter..."

Her grip on me tightened. "But you still love me, Saïx, right?"

"Xion, you are my sister. That will never change." I had a duty to her that I would never forsake.

"Sisters all the way?" Roxas wondered. I hate small children.

"Yeah," Xion said happily. "Right, Axel? Me and Saïx and you and Roxas, we're all brothers all the way too, right?"

"Of course, princess," Axel said firmly, apparently completely over his surprise. "_Always_. No matter what."

"Siblings all the way," I corrected in a grumble. "Technically."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Once again, I am taking liberties... Elementary school teachers usually keep track of the lunch cards for their class. The kids don't really handle their own cards, and they definitely don't take them home.

This probably takes place shortly after the wedding (I'm having a lot of trouble pinning it to any specific place on the timeline), so I'm thinking it might be Lea's old I.D. card.

By the way, this story is the overarching theme of the _Stepsiblings_ series. :)

And now that, after almost two months, I have FINALLY gotten Xion's (gigantic DX) "pilot episode" and this exposition story out of the way, I can _finally_ start posting all those drafts I've been finishing! :D


	8. Ferris Wheel: Saix

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Ferris Wheel (rough draft)  
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Summary: "You ride the Ferris wheel at night. The very last one. You sit there when they stop the wheel and look at the stars and the moon, and you tell Mommy you love her. Then you come down again and go home."

A/N: Part 1 is third person POV and takes place when Saïx is seven, shortly before the incident that scarred his face. Part 2 is from Saïx's POV and takes place about three months before he and Xion meet the boys.

**Part 1**

He's lining up figures on the windowsill, a wolf and a tiger and a lion and an eagle, then the door crashes open and he whirls around and it's Mother, but she's laughing. "Darling!" she cries, and her eyes are dancing like she's the same age as him. "Let's go somewhere and have fun!" She grabs him and her sweet smell wraps around him as she hugs him, making him feel better.

"We're going to have fun?" he asks cautiously. She kisses his face, between his eyes, and pulls on his hand until he goes with her downstairs.

"Kay!" Father shouts, marching out of his study. "Don't run away when I'm talking to you."

"Leave me alone!" Mother screams back, and Saïx is afraid again and closes his eyes. "You can't lock me up! I'm _leaving_!"

"Kay-"

"You can't keep me away from my own son!"

"Come back-"

They're outside, and Mother puts him in the car.

"Mother, where are we going?" He tries to unfasten the seatbelt again, but she pulls his hand away and kisses his palm and then bites it. "Somewhere fun," she says, laughing, but she's angry and scared below the laughter, so he only says "Okay."

She turns the radio on loud and sings all the way there, and when she feels safe and is happy for real, he stops being scared and he sings, too.

The parking lot is huge, so big, he watches out the window as she drives and drives and stops the car and gets out. This time he doesn't even try to take the seatbelt off and waits for her to do it for him. She pulls him out of the car and hugs him and takes his hand.

"Let's go have so much fun, sweetie."

"Okay."

He doesn't like the noise, and all the people and the heat and the messy food, but he loves to be with Mother when she's like this. When she's not scared and wants to play with him. He rides the rides because he can watch her smile and scream with laughter, he eats the food because she likes to clean his hands afterward. _'I wish you were like this all the time.'_

They play the games, and he's bad at them and she gets mad and starts yelling at the man taking their money. Saïx wants her to stay happy. "Mother," he says, pulling at her sleeve. "Mother, can I give you a kiss?"

She leans down and hugs him, and he presses his lips to her cheek. Then she laughs. She stands up and pulls him over into her arms and says, "This is my son, Saïx. Saïx wants a prize."

He doesn't, but he's afraid to say anything.

"And _I_ think he earned one, wouldn't you agree? Saïx, look at this man here, please."

He knows what she means. He stares at the man, thinking as hard as he can, _"I don't like you, I don't like you, I don't like you."_

The man backs away, looking really scared. "Y...Yeah...you want a prize, just-" He pulls down one of the ugly stuffed animals and shoves it at them. "Now go away. _Go away_, I better not see you two near here ever again."

Mother blows him a kiss and walks away with Saïx and the ugly toy. Then she laughs and laughs, and hugs him and tells him maybe sometimes he's useful after all.

It's getting dark. "One last ride, darling."

"Okay."

"The Ferris wheel. We always ride the Ferris wheel last. It's tradition."

"Okay."

The box is blue and yellow. They climb in and Mother holds him in her lap and puts the ugly toy on the seat next to them, and he kicks it to the floor when she's not looking.

"Isn't this nice?" she says as they float around and around in the sky.

He's happy, lying back against her with her warm arms around him, when she loves him and her sweet smell covers him like a blanket. "This is my favorite ride," he says.

"Mm." She kisses him again and strokes his hair. "I've been thinking, darling," she says. Her voice is soft. "I don't think we can ever get away from him here in this world."

"You mean the other Saïx?" he asks sadly. More kisses. "Is there another world?" he asks, a little scared. "Somewhere that's not Home?"

She laughs a little. "I hope so. I think so."

"Is the moon another world?" he suddenly realizes, seeing it hanging there in the dark sky.

"Hmmm...you know, I quite like that idea, darling."

He smiles. "We can go there, then."

"But how would we get there?" she asks, and there's a smile in her voice.

It's so far, and so high. "Maybe we could fly there," he says doubtfully.

"Do you have any wings for us?"

"No," he whispers, wanting to cry.

She tilts his face up and gazes into his eyes for a long time. "It must be so hard for you," she finally murmurs. "At least I can escape him sometimes. You never can."

He doesn't know what to say. The only reason he hates the other Saïx is because Mother does.

"Baby, I promise I'll free you. Just be patient a little while longer, all right?"

"Yes, Mother."

She still holds him, but he's cold now, and the sweet smell is gone.

**Part 2**

There is no possible way I would ever become a teacher, but if I did, I would certainly be competent enough to make sure I had all my students accounted for before driving off.

The taxi dropped me off at the amusement park as the sun was beginning to set, and I trekked across the vast front courtyard up to the entrance. Spotting someone in an employee's uniform, I told her my business. Her expression immediately broke into a relieved smile, though her nervousness in response to my eyes was still hinted at in her pale face and slightly jerky movements. "Oh, you're here for that poor little sweetheart we've got in the office! Follow me, I'll take you right to her."

As soon as I set foot in the room, Xion, who had been happily jabbering at a couple of other employees, flung the blanket off her shoulders, dashed across the room, wrapped her arms around me, and burst into tears. "I got left behiiiiind!"

"Father will make sure that those responsible are fired," I assured her.

She suddenly stopped sobbing and stared up at me with huge wet eyes. "He'll get rid of my teacher?"

"Yes."

Her mouth dropped open in horror. "No! Saïx, don't let him! I love my teacher!"

I stared at her. "She left you behind."

"It was an accident! She didn't mean it! She was even gonna come back and get me and buy me ice cream to make it up to me, but I told her not to because you said you were coming for me."

I closed my eyes in exasperation. "Xion, if your teacher would have come back for you, then that means I've come all this way and wasted so much time for no reason."

"But you're here to pick me up now," she said happily, completely missing the point.

"You know," one of the employees spoke up, "you're welcome to stay and enjoy the park free of charge before we close in a couple of hours, and our manager has some vouchers for your next visit-"

"No, thank you," I cut in, "my sister and I need to be on our way home."

"But Saïx, I wanted to show you the horsies! And they wouldn't let me ride the Tower of Screams, so you have to make them let me!"

"I 'have' to do no such thing." It was, however, fairly close to closing time, and my sister was going to be _insufferable_ if I didn't at least compromise. "You have thirty minutes to waste time here. After that, we're leaving, no arguments."

"Yay! I love you!"

"I'd prefer that you not publicly announce that."

Xion's 'horsies' turned out to be the petting zoo, which was closed for the night. I pointed out that the carousel had horses of a sort, and waited while she rode them, refusing to submit to the indignity of joining her. The Tower Of Screams turned out to be a ride with a well-deserved height requirement which Xion was far from reaching, so to stop her sulking, I bought her an ice cream bar.

Then I caught sight of the Ferris wheel. I hadn't...ridden one of those since that time with Mother. "Xion," I murmured, "let's try that one before we leave."

"It looks boring," she complained.

"...It's tradition. The Ferris wheel is always the last one you ride before going home."

"Oh. Okay."

The two of us stepped into a blue and purple car together.

"There's no seat belt," she said.

"It doesn't move fast enough to need one. Stop clambering around like that, you're shaking the whole car."

"I'm gonna sit in your lap, then," she decided, doing so without permission.

"Xion..."

"Look! You can see the whole _park_ from here!"

Then she was finally, finally quiet. The wheel ground to a stop, and we rested there for a while, swaying gently in the breeze. "It's like sitting in the stars," Xion whispered.

"...Mother and I once sat here among the stars like this, a long time ago."

She scrambled around and put her arms around my neck, staring into my face. "Mommy was here?" she asked breathlessly.

"Yes. ... We looked at the moon, and wondered what it would be like to..." It sounded so silly now. Not that Xion would care, or even notice. "...to fly there."

Still with her arms around me, Xion looked out at the moon as well. "Saïx? Do you think that's where Mommy lives now? That that's why she didn't stay with us, because she finally found out how to fly there?"

"No. People can't live on the moon. But it's a pretty thought. I like it better than what really happened."

"What really happened?"

It had been more than three years, but the memory was still too strong. I stared at Xion's face, at her clear eyes and warm flesh and glossy hair, and was once again overcome by the knowledge of how close this small creature in my arms had come to being laid in an early grave. I held her closer so that she could no longer see my face, but it did no good when I was trembling as well.

"Saïx? Are you okay?" she asked worriedly.

No. "Yes. I just...miss Mother, that's all." Well, that was one way of putting it.

"I miss her, too."

"You can't miss her. You didn't even know her. You were just a baby when she died."

"It doesn't matter," Xion said stubbornly. "She was my mommy and I miss her, just like I miss my first mommy." She pulled back so she could look at me again. "Saïx, will I ever have a mommy who'll stay with me?"

My fingers trailed uncertainly through her hair. "I can't answer that, Xion. That's up to Father. And to her, if there ever is another one."

Her face fell. "Okay." She sighed. "If I ever have a little girl, I'll never leave her alone."

"I'm sure you'll be a good mother."

She looked up at me again, and a little smile crossed her face. "At least you and Daddy never leave me, though."

"Of course not. I'd never be so irresponsible." Xion might be annoying and burdensome, but having her as a sister was _my_ burden. I would carry it faithfully.

"You're a good person, Saïx."

I wonder if Mother was. I honestly don't know.

Xion was studying my eyes in that unsettling way of hers. "Saïx, even if Mommy isn't on the moon, do you think she can still hear us?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"Let's tell her we love her, okay?"

"...All right."

She turned around again, settling back into my lap and drawing my arms around her even though I'd tried to let go. "Mommy," she said, looking at the moon, "I love you, and I miss you. I hope you're really happy. Saïx and Daddy are with me, so I'm happy, too."

There was a long pause. Xion finally tilted her head back to give me a questioning look.

"Mother," I finally whispered. "I miss the affectionate woman you could sometimes be. I know it wasn't your fault when you became something different. I know...that somehow, you still loved me...and that you loved Xion, in your own way." It was so much harder to say than I had expected. "...I forgive you." That was all, but it became apparent that Xion was still waiting. "And I love you," I finally added.

"Amen," Xion said in satisfaction.

What? "Xion, that wasn't a prayer."

"Oh. Well, it sounded like one. By the way, Saïx, I love you, too."

"You say that so often..."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: **Stuff I forgot in previous chapters:** I picked "Acerbi" as the golden-eyed characters' surname in this universe because, according to the site I looked at, it means "heartless" (or "harsh"), derived from Italian. I thought it was better suited to a group surname for characters who are mostly in the Org and/or related to Xehanort, as opposed to trying to pick one of the individual surnames I've been coming up with. For example, "Tsukino" (sorry, Sai XD) has relevance to Saïx, but not to anyone else in his Stepsibsverse family. **Also**, I forgot to credit the lullaby Saïx sang to Xion on Christmas Eve - it's my favorite one, and comes from the Disney movie _Mary Poppins_. :)

**To Silence (but I'm sure other people will find this reply of interest, and I tried - **_**tried**_** - to keep spoilers out)** - Thank you so much for the lovely review! It really meant a lot to me. (I'm replying here because I assume that everyone reading the other story is also reading this one, and this note will be more useful here.)

Xem is kind of a workaholic... Regardless, the stuff in Parts 1 and 5 happened at home when Xem was at work, and I'm pretty sure that Part 3 was in a hospital, with no one else in the room at the time.

I'm not sure if you meant Saïx's or Axel's relationships with their fathers. Xem really does love his family, he's just very bad at expressing it; Saïx disappoints him a lot, though. And Xem is under some pressure from his own father, too, which...hopefully I'll be able to expand on later. I've been toying with the idea of having Axel meet his biological father, but haven't worked out the details of that yet. Axel's relationship with Ven will be clarified in later stories (they were pretty close). Xem and Axel rub each other the wrong way, but they both try to put up with it for the rest of the family's sake.

I have a lot of admiration for Matthew West even though I haven't actually heard much of his music - "More" is one of my favorite songs ever. I looked up "Broken Girl," and I see exactly what you mean. Even though it was written for women who have suffered a certain kind of trauma, spiritual wounds are all the same, no matter how they originate, and the song does resonate a lot even if the specific circumstances are different.

I do hope to clarify the characterization for the kids' various parents, particularly **Lea (good **_**gosh**_** I regret that woman's name now. DX I totally did not put enough thought into this universe at the beginning**, though granted, I never expected the series to grow past the initial six _Fire & Moonlight_-inspired drabbles). Lea's character is now very clear to me, but I've only managed to reference disconnected bits and pieces of it in the stories that have been published so far. I have at least one story each from Lea's, Xem's, and Ven's perspectives (not from Kay's, though).

In a nutshell, Xem is a very by-the-book kind of guy and a control freak; also similar to Saïx in that he's very dutiful and loyal to his responsibilities. Lea has a whole lot of Issues and was one of those wild teenagers in high school. She loved Ven to pieces, he's probably the only one of her partners she ever truly loved; his loss was devastating and she's subsequently latched onto their son Roxas as a sort of substitute. She and Axel do not get along well. She's very passionate, gushing over things she likes and flying into a temper pretty easily. Also very selfish and deceptive, usually out of self-defense; she stresses over her public image and can't stand for people to look down on her, which is why she tries so hard to impress. Kay really did love her children, especially Saïx (despite later rejecting him in favor of Xion), but of course there were great hindrances to her being able to properly express that love, one of those being that he also scared her to death. The "two Saïxes" thing was her way of trying to cope with that.

**Although most of them aren't published yet, stories in the **_**Stepsiblings**_** universe are going to be popping up in various other series such as **_**Fire & Moonlight**_**. That bugs me, so just like I did with **_**Christmas at the Castle**_**, I'll eventually get around to making a comprehensive list of all the stories that take place in the **_**Stepsiblings**_** universe, regardless of where they're actually published.**

I'm glad you're enjoying this series. :) There are still huge amounts of unposted and unwritten material in this universe; I kind of despair of ever being able to "finish" it all, but I'll keep trying for as long as I can. I want to thank each and every person reading this for their support!


	9. The Scent of Vanilla: Axel

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**The Scent of Vanilla** (rough draft)****

Summary: There's more than one reason why Saïx doesn't like Halloween.

A/N: Axel's POV.

o.o.o

Saïx has been gloomy this week - well, gloomier than usual. I wouldn't really think much of it (for all I know, he hates the approaching Halloween as much as he hates Christmas), except that every time Xion sees him, her face kind of falls and she gets gloomy, too. "What's up with you, man?" I demand one night, after the kids are in bed.

Saïx puts a hand to his head like he's really tired, but doesn't stop taking notes on the science textbook he's trying to read. "Nothing. Go away."

He should _know_ by now that that never works. I plant a hand right on the page to steady myself and kind of lean down and around him to look at his eyes. Unfortunately, by that time _annoyance_ is kind of drowning out anything useful. "Get away from me."

"Is Halloween depressing you?" I try.

_pain sorrow grief fear anger ANNOYANCE_ "I am not joking, Axel. Leave me _alone_."

"You know you're making Xion depressed, too, right?"

"Good. She should be at this time of year."

I grab him by the collar. "That's _enough_. Whatever crap you've been emoing over, you leave Xion out of it, you hear me?"

He slowly reaches up to my hand, though he can't disentangle my fingers from his shirt with that lame half-hearted effort. "...You're right...it's better that she be able to move on."

"Move on from _what_?"

He suddenly raises his head and blasts me with more _ANNOYANCE_ and some _defiance_. "All the imagery from this time of year bothers me. However, if you like, I will endeavor to get Xion excited about death, violence, and the dark arts, just like the rest of the population who's been brainwashed by consumerism."

"Oh, _forget_ it. Study 'til your brains start leaking out of your nose."

The next day after school, I see Xion doing her EXCITED-TO-SEE-BIG-BROTHERS-oh-wait-Saix-is-being-emo-so-I-have-to-be-too act again, and I'm fed up. "Hey, Xi!" I say brightly. "Tomorrow's Saturday. What do you say I take you and Roxas to Pizza Planet?"

"YEAH!" Roxas cheers immediately, pumping his fist in the air.

Xion's face lights up for, like, one second, then falls again. She didn't even glance at Saïx, either. Maybe she could feel his doomgaze through the back of her head or something. "Sorry, Axel," she says in her Polite Mode voice, "I can't."

"_Why not?_" Roxas bursts out in dismay. She pats his head like she's a wise old crone and he's a naive little child, and he bats her hand away in annoyance.

"Tomorrow is Black Day. We can't do anything fun, it's disrespectful."

"Whaaaaat?" Roxas cries. I pick him up - this time, I'm the one who feels unsafe without him close.

"Well," Xion says thoughtfully, "you and Axel can have fun. Just not us."

"Who's _us_?" I say harshly.

Roxas sounds like he's about to cry. "Can we go to Pizza Planet _next_ weekend?"

Xion's face lights up again. "Yeah!" Then she whirls to Saïx, looking anxious. "We can, Saïx, right?"

"Yes," he says shortly.

Xion smiles, then reaches up to Roxas, and he reaches desperately back down to her, and they're so friggin' cute even despite all the weirdness that I let him go. He stands there so that she can hug him and puts his chin on her shoulder, tears still standing in his eyes. "You're not going away, right, Xion?"

"Just for Black Day. Then we'll come back and go to Pizza Planet."

"Okay."

"What's 'Black Day'?" I ask Saïx pointedly. "Is that where you all congregate and initiate new recruits into your ranks of the undead?"

It was meant as a bitter joke, but I'm not prepared for Saïx's reaction. His wordless _shock hate anger pain betrayal fury_ seems to burn me. "Sai," I gasp, struggling to hold my ground, "it was a _joke_."

"It wasn't funny," he says coldly. _anger smugness pain grief desperation_

"Okay, okay, it wasn't funny!"

Saïx turns away, taking Xion's hand and tugging her to walk ahead of us. "Come on, Xion."

Saïx and I ignore each other like little kids all the way home, though Roxas and Xion seem happy enough amusing each other. As soon as we reach the house, I call Demyx, who's pretty exasperated when I show up later with my six-year-old brother in tow, but he doesn't protest for long. We and Gippal and Zidane and their girlfriends go see a movie (a Disney one because of Roxas, though the girls seem to like it and the guys don't mind much), then hang out at an arcade 'til we get kicked out.

Roxas crashes long before we get home again, and I'm so tired I don't even bother moving to my own bed after tucking him in, just stretch out next to him and fall asleep almost before my head hits the pillow.

Roxas wakes me up the next morning. "Axel, no one will play with me."

"Watch cartoons," I mumble, trying to roll over and go back to sleep.

"...No one will play with me." And he starts to cry.

I have TOTALLY BEEN ONTO HIM since, like, ages ago, but...doesn't matter. Can't resist even when I know full well they're crocodile tears.

"_Fine_, I'm up, I'm up." Yawning, I trudge downstairs with Roxas happily dragging me by the hand, and blink muzzily at all the black figures clustered in the front hall. "...Guys?"

"Amazing," Saïx says acidly, "you're conscious before noon on a Saturday. I applaud your accomplishment."

"What are you all, in _mourning_?" I say in disgust, surveying the way they're all dressed head to toe in formal black outfits.

And then my stupid, stupid, _stupid_ brain catches up to me like a kick in the gut just when Xem says, "Yes."

"Today's Black Day," Xion says casually. "We're going to see Mommy."

Again, I don't stop to think. "We're coming, too."

"You're in your pajamas, and you have bed-hair," Saïx points out.

"No, I'm in the clothes I wore yesterday, and I can comb my hair in the car. Just let me grab my shoes."

_Why_ am I such an idiot?

"You," Xem says, very deliberately, "intend to visit my former wife's grave in _that_ attire?"

I wince. "Xem...I'm sorry, I- Look, just let me dig through my closet, I'll be ready as soon as I-"

"We're going to be late if we don't leave soon."

Late for what? Is Saïx's dead mom on a strict timetable or something?

Xion's giving me this awful solemn gaze and I feel like _dirt_, but then suddenly Saïx marches forward and grabs my arm and sweeps me and Roxas upstairs. "We'll be back down soon," he calls to his father.

I'm squirming a little as Sai pulls stuff out of his closet (he didn't even bother looking through mine first). He's way better stocked in formal suits than me. His earrings are different today, too; usually he just wears little studs, but the ones he has on now are more noticeable. "Sai-"

"Put those on. I need to get some pins."

"Saïx-"

He's gone.

"Where are we going?" Roxas asks.

"We're... You know how we go see Dad sometimes?"

Roxas's eyes light up. "We're gonna see Dad?"

"No," I say quickly (what is this, Stupid Axel Day?), "no, buddy. Not today. We're gonna see Sai and Xi's mom, though."

"Oh."

"It'll be like that."

"Can we see Dad, too?"

"I don't think so, kiddo. I doubt they're in the same place."

He sighs. "Okay."

Saïx comes back in. "Take the jacket off," he says in exasperation, "I have to fix the shirt and pants first."

Definitely Stupid Axel Day.

I feel ridiculous, standing there as Saïx pins up the clothes so they don't sag pathetically. "You need to eat more protein," he grumbles, "this cannot be healthy."

"Saïx, why didn't you just _tell_ me?"

"..."

I set my fingertips on his scars, since I know how much he hates that. Probably not the most sensitive thing to do under the circumstances, but whatever.

He shakes me off. _surprise anger grief irritation_ "We didn't think you'd be interested."

"You didn't think I'd be _interested_."

"Your mother wasn't," he grumbles.

I grab his jacket and shove him against the wall almost by reflex, wincing as an unsecured pin stabs into my side. "I am _not_ my _mother_. And neither is Roxas."

"I'm not Mom," Roxas echoes anxiously.

_shame sheepishness sulkiness pain hope_ "...So I see."

There's an awkward pause.

"Wallshove!" Roxas suddenly yells, diving at Saïx's knees; I quickly catch him before he can make contact.

"Whoa! Hold on, kiddo, it's not nice to shove people."

"That's _right_, Axel," Saïx says snidely, "it's not nice to shove people."

"Yeah, well..." As I'm trying to fix my latest Big Brother Fail, Saïx reaches to pin me up again.

"...Sai, has anyone ever told you that you're way too good at this kind of thing? It's a little creepy."

"..."

After I'm ready and Saïx dresses Roxas in the same outfit he wore to the wedding (it's too small for him...), we go back downstairs and get fried by Xem's doomgaze as Xion obliviously keeps watching cartoons in the living room.

"We're...ready...now...let's...get...going," I gasp out, with Roxas wrapped tightly in my arms and sobbing into my chest as Saïx grips my shoulder hard enough to bruise.

"Very well," Xem says at last, and Saïx frantically hisses lame jokes from the kids' Knock-Knock phase into my ear until I'm finally able to follow Xem to the car without bawling like Roxas.

"Sometimes I _hate_ your dad," I rage to Saïx in a whisper.

"I can't...argue with you," he mumbles helplessly.

"I like you, though." It's true. Grumpy and annoying as he is, he's actually been helping us a lot this morning.

Startled, he meets my grateful smile for a second before blushing a little and turning away.

The ride there is awkward. I don't want to talk with Xem around, Saïx is uselessly silent, Roxas is still too traumatized from the doomgaze to do more than cling to me, and Xion's anxious pestering doesn't last long before Xem tells her to be quiet. Saïx finally turns on the radio to some boring news station just to fill the silence.

It's the most doleful grave visit ever. Visiting Dad almost gets fun, the way we goof around; but visiting Kay Heartilly Acerbi feels like...the opposite...of that. Especially with Xem's name and birth year on the second half of the tombstone, just waiting for the year of his death to be filled in. It's also pretty awkward, considering he's married to someone else now.

"We come to pay our respects, madam," Xem intones, with the rest of us lined up behind him like the kids in _The Sound of Music_. "You are always kept in our hearts, and on this day we honor your memory." He kneels and sets a bouquet in the metal vase beneath her name. "You are close to me still," he murmurs. "I beg your forgiveness and your blessing once more."

He rises again and stands aside.

Saïx, looking very Not Happy, then kneels and says more of the same sort of stuff, adding an iris to the vase. Then it's Xion's turn; she trots up with her lily, trips, gets caught by Saïx before she can fall flat on her face, stares at the broken flower stem in dismay, then smiles when Saïx takes it from her and sets it in the vase anyway, so carefully that it doesn't seem disrespectful. "I love you, Mommy," she says. "I hope you're happy on the moon."

Saïx winces a little, Xem's face goes stony, and I have a _really_ hard time trying not to laugh.

"We brought Axel and Roxas this time! You _have_ to meet them, I _love_ them."

"Xion," Xem says, and she quickly backs away again and takes Saïx's hand.

There's a pause. Apparently Stupid Axel Day is a shared holiday with Awkward Day. Xem and Saïx look at each other, and I _swear_ they're doing Magic Golden Eye Telepathy or something. Then, just when I'm afraid that I really will have to kneel down and come up with some coherent graveside babble to a woman I've never met and kind of hate, Xem nods at us and walks away.

The atmosphere suddenly _lifts_. There's this sweet smell I hadn't noticed before, like one of the candles Mom sometimes burns when company comes. Like cookies or something - vanilla, that's it.

"Father will come back to pick us up later," Saïx says.

"Roxas!" Xion excitedly grabs his arm and tries to drag him over.

He panics and clings tighter to me. "No!"

"But you have to meet Mommy," Xion protests.

Roxas bursts into the tears he hasn't been far from all this time, and they're not crocodile ones now.

"Roxas." Saïx glances at me for permission - it's wrong that he feels like he has to ask, and worse that I would have resented it if he hadn't - and reaches down. He disengages Roxas's grip with a gentleness I'm not used to seeing from him, so that I don't feel any need to protest.

"Axel," Roxas pleads, though he doesn't resist as Saïx draws him closer to the grave.

"I'm here, Rox," I say, moving up alongside them.

Xion grabs my hand and swings it. "Mommy, this is Axel," she says. "He's my new big brother, so he can help Saïx. He's really brave and strong, and cool and smart and funny and-"

"Oh, stop, Xi, you're makin' me blush," I drawl. I'm kind of blushing for real, actually.

She giggles. "He's good. You'll like him. And this is Roxas." She reaches for Roxas again, but he jerks away and grips Saïx's arms more tightly around himself.

"Roxas is our new younger brother," Saïx says quietly. "He and Xion enjoy each other's company quite a lot. He is also growing up to be very brave and strong, and we are proud of him."

Roxas's mouth drops open. I think I might be a little slack-jawed, too. "Really?" Roxas gasps.

"Yes."

Roxas smiles a little and finally relaxes, draping his arms comfortably over Saïx's. Saïx, I will love you forever. "Hi, Xion's mom," Roxas says.

"Her name is Kay," says Saïx, and Xion points to the letters on the headstone.

"Hi, Kay," I say. "Gotta say, can't fault you for your kids. They're awesome." Xion giggles, and Saïx lowers his head so that his hair hides his face.

Xion gives me a tiger lily and Roxas a tulip. "Give them to Mommy," she instructs.

I twirl the flower in my hands. "I'm wondering," I say conversationally, "why Kay Heartilly Acerbi should get any flowers from me."

"Because you love her," Xion says in surprise.

"Sorry, Xi," I say, trying to be gentle about it, "I kind of don't."

She stares at me with wide eyes.

"Perhaps," Saïx says in a very low voice, "you could give her one because _I_ love her."

"Why?" I burst out. "After everything she did to you, _why_?"

Roxas and Xion both look at me like I'm crazy.

"Because she's our mommy."

"Because she's their mom, duh."

Saïx doesn't say anything.

I guess...they do have a point. My own mom and I aren't exactly on the best terms, but...I can't say that I actually hate her. Sometimes..._sometimes_...I even think I may like her a lot. Just sometimes. And if she were the one in the ground instead of Kay, I'd...I guess I'd definitely be giving her flowers, too. *sigh*

Xion's starting to look upset, so I finally stick the tiger lily in the vase just so she won't cry or something. Roxas wriggles free and goes over to add his flower to the rest, then comes to plop back into Saïx's lap. I'm a little jealous, though not as much when Xion comes to cuddle with me. "Saïx," she says, "tell us about Mommy."

Saïx is quiet for a very long time.

I finally prompt, "Did she do anything _besides_ drive cars-" into walls, intentionally, with her seven-year-old kid in the passenger seat, "-or make you get glasses-" that he should never have needed, "-or give birth to awesome kids?"

Saïx's jaw tightens. I can't see his eyes, and I'm kind of...glad I can't.

"She rode Ferris wheels, too," Xion offers.

"She did," Saïx mumbles.

"All by herself?" Roxas says dubiously.

"No...we went together."

"Now me and Saïx go together," Xion says. "Next time it has to be all four of us - we keep forgetting to do it! Next time we all have to ride the Ferris wheel, okay?"

Saïx sighs quietly.

"You and Ferris wheels," I muse. "Why do you like them so much, Xi?" She usually goes for the super-exciting roller coasters and stuff that she's not actually big enough to ride yet.

"We talk to Mommy on the moon."

"Xion," Saïx says in a pained voice, but doesn't explain.

They've got my interest, though. "So your mom's hanging out on the moon?" I ask teasingly. "How is it up there?"

_annoyance shame anxiety_ "It's just a conversation Xion and I had once. Of course she's not actually there."

"We like having her there, though, instead of in here where she hurts Saïx." Xion sets a hand over her brother's heart, and he stares at her.

"What?" he says faintly.

"My mommy's nicer than your mommy," Roxas tells him. "She'll make you feel better."

Saïx looks at him for a long time. I can't see his eyes again, but I'm pretty sure I know what he's thinking, since I'm thinking the same thing. Mom is a different mom to me than she is to Roxas.

Saïx finally takes a deep breath. "She liked flowers," he finally says, and the way he's Not Looking at me seems almost determined. Maybe I shouldn't tease him so much if it makes him not trust me like this... "Real ones, not wildflowers; that's how I learned how to buy things from a store when I was still small. For her birthday and for Mother's Day, or when she was particularly-" He pauses. "...Or sometimes just when I felt like it, I would borrow some money from Father and go to the flower shop to buy some for her."

Hmmm. "You guys didn't live close to any stores," I say.

"I got used to the walk," he mutters, and I suddenly get a mental image of him as a little kid, walking all that way and then sitting all alone in a bus seat clutching a bunch of flowers. It'd be kind of funny, except that the little boy I'm seeing in my head looks anxious and lonely.

"Mommy liked the flowers you gave her, right?" Xion asks eagerly.

"Yes. Most of the time..." He shakes his head. "Yes, she did. She would call me her-" Color is creeping into his cheeks. "She called me her baby and told me I was perfect, though of course I'm not, that's just something mothers say to their children sometimes. She would set the bouquet in a window and wear a sprig of it in her hair, and... Well, she was beautiful."

"See," Xion tells Roxas smugly, as if they'd had some sort of bet going on. He sticks out his tongue at her.

"Her favorite was vanilla," Saïx murmurs. "Not for the blossom itself, but for the scent."

"Vanilla," I say suddenly. "This smell- Did you guys plant some here or something?"

Saïx's brow furrows. "No." _apprehension shyness wonder confusion_ "I'm not sure why the scent is here so often, actually. It's almost like..." He never finishes the sentence.

"I think Mommy's happy whenever that happens," Xion muses. "She likes when we come to visit her."

"Dad likes when we visit, too," Roxas says.

Xion's eyes light up. "Can we go see your dad next? I want to meet him!"

"He's in a different cemetery," I say. "I don't know if Xem'll take us there."

_resentment determination compassion_ "I would like to meet your father," Saïx says. "I'll arrange it, don't worry."

"Yay!" Xion crows. "I bet your dad's really nice, Roxas."

"He is," Roxas says proudly, even though he barely remembers Dad.

He's still right, though. Ven really was nice, _even more_ than Aunt Aqua and Uncle Terra, if that's possible. He somehow managed to bring out the best in Mom, and I know she loved him in a way I've never seen her love anyone else. He accepted me so quickly when most men wouldn't have wanted anything to do with Mom once they found out about me. He was more of a father to me than the creep whose genes I actually have. I know he'd _adore_ Xion, and I bet he would have figured out Saïx's doomgaze on the first or second try, way sooner than I did. I wish...I wish _so much_ that he was still here...but then- But then I would never have met Xion and Saïx, and...I...I don't know what to think. It's not fair.

I suddenly realize that Saïx has been watching me. "What?"

"...You loved him a lot, didn't you," he says quietly.

I squirm a little, but no way I'm going to deny it. "Yeah."

"We should bring flowers for him..."

"Man, he won't care. As long as we get to hang out, it's all cool, right?"

"We need snacks, though," Roxas insists. "We can't go see Dad without snacks, that's mean."

I laugh. "Dad won't care about snacks either, Rox-my-socks. As long as he gets to see you, that's the most important thing."

"Me and you and Xion and Saïx, right?"

"Yeah," I agree. "Me and you and Xion and Saïx."

"I like doing things all together," Xion decides. "Let's not do anything not together ever again."

I burst into laughter as Saïx gives her a Look. "So from now on we're all gonna take showers together and go to school together and watch _My Little Pony_ together?" I tease.

"Absolutely not," Saïx says forcefully, at the same time Xion's eyes widen and she's like, "Well, maybe not _everything_..."

Teasing and exaggeration aside, I get the sentiment. And I agree.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Credit to Taliax for the vanilla scent - she had Kingdom Hearts smell like that to Riku in one of her challenge drabbles, so I used it here in this fic where KH is personified. ^^ I tried to reserve it for the more pleasant parts, I didn't want the scent to get ruined for Saïx because of bad memories.

Ftr, Rinoa is Kay's younger sister in this universe.

BY THE WAY, this fic was the original let's-take-little-kids-to-Pizza-Planet story. I accidentally let that slip into fics that I wrote later but which were posted earlier. *sigh* I need to quit doing that.


	10. Hoof Prints: Axel

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Hoof Prints (rough draft)**

Summary: For Saïx, it is FAR from the "most wonderful time" of the year.

A/N: Axel's POV. Takes place a year after the wedding.

I've been wanting to post this story for _ages_. XD I've given up trying to keep to the timeline.

o.o.o

"Axel! Axel! Axel!" I crack my eyes open just long enough to see what time it is, then shut them again with a groan. "Roxas...I love you very much, and I know it's Christmas, but _seriously_...?"

"AXEEEEELLL!"

He is literally jumping up and down on my bed (and sometimes on me), and finally I can't take it anymore. And whatever, I might as well give in sooner rather than later. "All right! _All right_! I'm getting up!"

Yawning, I let him drag me out of bed and into the cold, dark hallway. Come to think of it, I'm surprised Xion isn't bouncing around screaming about Christmas, too.

"Hey!" Roxas yells as we barge into Saïx's room, "Hey, it's Christmas!"

Huh. The light's already on. At first I'm shocked when I think that Saïx is awake at this ungodly hour, but then I realize that for some reason, he's fallen asleep sitting up in bed. And Xion is curled up next to him. What in the world...?

"Xion!" Roxas shrieks. Saïx is shifting, opening his eyes and looking disoriented and a little panicked. "Xion, Saïx, Santa came! Santa came!"

I'm surprised when Saïx flies out of bed. I'd think he was shockingly super-excited, but he's also seizing a baseball bat like he means to bash someone's head in with it. What the heck, why did he have my baseball bat propped beside his bed?

"_What_?" he hisses. _terror fury panic KILL_

Instinctively, I lunge forward and snatch Roxas close to me, even as he's still yelling. "It's Christmas! Let's go to the living room! We have presents!"

Xion's awake by now and, like, _jumps_ at Saïx, nearly knocking him over. "No, Saïx, no, Santa never came he's gone there's no Santa go back to sleep it's okay!"

What the _heck_?

He seizes her arm and surges out of the room. She's, like, running to keep up. And begging, "Saïx, please don't kill him."

Whaaaaat?

Still holding Roxas, I follow them out into the hallway, ignoring our parents' voices when they come out of their room to see what all the commotion is. But then Xem's voice snaps out, "_Stop_," and I shiver. Saïx, who's at the top of the staircase by now, stops like he's crashed into a wall and freezes for a minute. Then he kind of sinks into a crouch, still gripping the bat and facing away from us; Xion hugs him tight, and he puts an arm around her to hold her close. I _do not_ understand.

"Saïx, what is going on here?" Xem rumbles.

Saïx's voice is almost, _almost_ steady. "It's Christmas morning. The children are excited."

Uh huh.

"Santa came?" Roxas says, like it's a question.

I could have _sworn_ Saïx flinched.

"Saïx, the alarm didn't go off," Xion says. "The siren would have gone 'whee whee whee whee!' if someone broke in."

"Someone broke in?" Mom gasps.

"I'll go check," Saïx says quickly, and takes off again down the stairs with Xion.

"Well," I sigh, "there goes our chance of having a normal Christmas..._again_..."

Downstairs, Saïx and Xion are prowling the house, Xion occasionally giving the pile of presents a wistful glance and Saïx acting like they don't exist. Saïx doesn't seem like he's joking - I think he really is looking for burglars.

"Look!" Roxas shrieks, "Santa!"

Saïx jerks around like he's been shot, and Xion gives a gasp that sounds way more horrified than excited. We all look where Roxas is pointing, and I have to smile.

"You're right, he really was here!" Mom chirps in her kindergarten teacher voice. It's that reindeer tracks stamp thing she has, making it look like reindeer have been milling around outside. The sleigh bell I bought the other day is lying in the snow where I'm sure Mom dropped it last night.

"Sacred moon," Saïx whispers. It's almost a whimper. I look over and find him half-collapsed against the wall, his face _chalk_ white, I am not even kidding. Xion is staring, open-mouthed and wide-eyed, as if she's just witnessed a car crash.

Saïx suddenly whirls away. "I'm going to make breakfast," he announces hugely, as if it's perfectly normal for a family with small children to eat breakfast on Christmas morning with wrapped presents still in sight. "Xion, what do you want for breakfast?"

"Pop-Tarts," she says, in the same tone as someone expressing their condolences.

"I'll make you some eggs," he says immediately.

"I'll have French toast made from scratch," I say sarcastically.

Saïx flings open the refrigerator door, then immediately slams it back closed. "Unfortunately, we're out of eggs," he says, even though there was at least half a carton of them sitting on the middle shelf. "I'll go out and buy some."

"Saïx!" Mom says in exasperation, "It's _Christmas_! All the stores are _closed_!"

That makes him pause, but then he says, "Hospitals aren't closed. I'll get some from there."

"Saïx, enough of this," Xem says sharply, making me flinch again.

"Daddy!" Xion suddenly shrieks, "Saïx! I broke my arm, I have to go to the hospital!"

"I'll take you," Saïx says immediately, making a beeline for the door. He still has my baseball bat, by the way.

"My stepbrother is insane," I say conversationally.

"_Axel_," Mom hisses, and suddenly I remember that Saïx's mom really did...have...issues. Oh, crap.

"Saïx!" I yell, "Wait!" Mom and Xem are yelling pretty much the same stuff, but I'm the one running out the door and grabbing Saïx by the shoulder as he's opening the car door. "Sai, let me drive."

I can finally see his eyes clearly. _terror distress panic anger shame alarm_

"Sai," I whisper, "trust me."

He stares into my eyes for what feels like ages. _fear hope hurt_

"C'mon," I coax, like I'm talking to a stray dog or something, "go on around, I'll take you wherever you want, I just...think it's best if you're not behind a wheel right now."

Wordlessly, he gets in the back and sits there gripping that bat while Xion anxiously pats his arm. I can't let Roxas sit in the front seat, but I'm scared to put him back there with someone who's flipping out. "Roxas, get on Xion's other side."

"What about presents?"

"Sorry, we all messed up. Christmas is actually tomorrow."

"_Tomorrow_?" he screeches.

"Yeah."

"YOU'RE ALL STUPID!"

"I know. Sorry, buddy. Go on and get in the back."

"YOU'RE STUPID! I HATE YOU!" Roxas crawls straight over Saïx's lap - Saïx doesn't even blink, it's kind of scary - and curls up on the other side in a Sulking Pose. Xion looks from one of her brothers to the other and then starts crying. Fantastic.

I swing into the driver's seat and start the car. "Where to?" I ask, hoping he can tell form my voice how ticked off I am.

"I don't care," he says flatly. "Away."

"Your wish is my command. I exist only to serve you."

He doesn't say a _word_. I swear, he is seriously creeping me out.

I pull out of the driveway and sail off, ignoring Mom waving her arms at us from the front porch. "Xion," I ask, "why is your big brother acting _loco_?"

"He-"

Saïx reaches out a hand to cover her mouth.

"Don't touch her," I snap.

"I told you not to tell anyone," Saïx says, to Xion, I assume, since he's still not actually looking at her.

She pulls his hand away from her mouth. "Axel is helping. We don't have to be alone anymore."

"No. I told you not to tell _anyone_. No one."

"..."

"You promised."

"Okay," Xion says sadly.

Saïx leans his head against the window and shuts his eyes.

"Hiding?" I taunt. He doesn't even bother telling me to shut up.

"We hide every year," Xion says in a _duh_ voice. Saïx's hand closes warningly on her arm - his eyes are still closed - and she stops talking.

_"Jingle bells, Axel smells, I hate everyone,"_ Roxas sings, kicking the back of the empty passenger seat in time to the beat.

"Saïx is the one who smells," I tell him.

_"Jingle bells, Saïx smells, I want to open presents."_

"That doesn't rhyme," Xion says.

_"La la la la la!"_ Roxas yells. I keep waiting for Saïx to tell them to shut up, but he never does.

We drive for a while. Roxas is upset and bored to tears and hungry on top of everything, which makes it really hard to keep my sanity. Xion cries a lot, though the rest of the time she's chattering away about My Little Ponies in between singing Disney songs. Saïx just sits there refusing to talk or look at us.

Finally, I pull up and say, "Well, here we are."

Everyone looks out the windows. "Axel," Saïx says in disbelief, "this is the airport."

"You said you wanted to go 'away,' didn't you?"

"_Obviously_ I didn't mean..." After leaving his sentence dangling for a while, he finally buries his face in his hands. Xion pats him again.

"Saïx," Roxas asks interestedly, "are you crying?"

"No," he says in a muffled voice.

Some airport official is getting mad at me for loitering in the unloading lane, so I pull away from the curb and start circling around again. "Sai, _talk to us_. You do realize how absolutely friggin' ridiculous this is, don't you?"

"Of course I do."

Well, that's a relief, at least.

"...I'm sorry."

I nearly drive us into a traffic sign. "You _what_?"

His head snaps up. "Don't make me repeat-!" Then he closes his eyes again. "I apologize. Humbly. I know I've...made things...difficult for you. And...disappointed you. I had no right to..." He leans his head against the window again, looking tired. "This is so hard," I think I hear him whisper, but I'm not sure.

"Saïx," Xion says softly, "Axel can help. He really can, I think. He can help better than me. I'm not very good at helping."

Saïx lifts his head again and actually looks at her for the first time this morning. "Xion..." He holds his arms out. _shame gratitude love guilt hope_ "Thank you. You're so brave. I neglect you more than I should."

"You should be nice to me," she says happily as she wallows in his hug. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that Saïx has totally gone insane, and we're going to be spending Christmas this year having him committed. Or else my stepbrother's been kidnapped by aliens and they left this impostor in his place.

"Axel, I want a hug," Roxas says.

"Sorry, buddy, I'm driving."

Roxas climbs over and worms his way up into Saïx's arms beside Xion. Saïx _laughs_ a little. "I'm a terrible older brother, aren't I."

"Yeah," Roxas agrees, "but that's okay. Saïx, we're really gonna have Christmas tomorrow, right?"

"No. It's today. Axel will take you home and you can open presents."

Saïx's eyes meet mine in the rearview mirror. _shame guilt self-disgust_ "Axel, you can let me off at the closest bus stop."

"Yeah," I snap, "I'm really gonna leave my brother out in the snow on Christmas Day without a coat."

He glares. _Finally_. "I'm not going home. Just take the children back and don't concern yourself with me."

I yank the car over and put it in park and climb over into the backseat where it's now insanely crowded. "Saïx, TALK. I will make your life MISERABLE until you do."

"You're good at that," he acknowledges, his eyes flicking to the side.

"Don't even think about going for that door handle, or I _will_ punch you."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"I'm bored," Roxas announces.

Saïx briefly closes his eyes, then looks at me. _desperation_ "Axel, I _don't want to go home_."

He wants me to understand, but I can't yet. "Why the heck _not_? What's _wrong_?"

His arms tighten around Xion (Roxas has wriggled free by now, and is in fact 'shooting' at passing cars and pedestrians with his fingers). "...Those...tracks..."

Takes me a minute to figure out what he's talking about. "You mean the stupid-?" I break off and look at the kids. "Um, Sai, can't really talk about this right now," I say meaningfully, trying to point at the back of Roxas's head without actually touching him.

Hope blossoms in Saïx's eyes. "Let me talk to you outside."

"Sure." I awkwardly hoist Xion over onto my other side and follow Saïx out of the car, slamming the door behind me. We move out of earshot, both already shivering.

"What were those tracks?" he demands.

I explain about Mom's stupid stamp thing.

He exhales and practically collapses back against a fence, looking weak with relief. "So that's what it was..."

"Sai, what is the _deal_! You're acting like you're scared of freaking Santa Claus or something!"

He glare-blushes and looks away. And doesn't deny it.

"S...Sai...ix... Flaming _pants_."

"Shut up," he says tightly, all curled into himself from the cold.

"You-!"

"Shut _up_."

"Are you freaking seriously-?"

"YES I AM!" he bellows, suddenly doomgazing me like he hasn't been able to do in ages. That creepy yellow tinge is filling his eyes again, pupils and whites and all, just like during that hostage mess. "I am! And seeing those tracks out there nearly _gave me a heart attack_."

"...I have to sit down." There's nowhere to sit, though, there's snow everywhere. We're quiet. I'd like to take my time and leisurely BSOD some more, but seriously, it's too cold to nurse a broken brain. "_Why_?" I finally manage.

"I don't know," he mumbles, but his eyes are fading back to normal and I can tell he's lying.

"What, some mall Santa sat on you when you were a baby or something?" Come to think of it, it'd explain the whole mall-phobia he'd seemed to have developed since Thanksgiving.

"No," he says sourly.

"Come _on_, Sai, no one's _afraid_ of Santa! Everyone _loves_ Santa!"

"I don't," he says flatly. He fidgets. I'm just about to give up and go back to the car when he adds in a mutter, "Mother and Uncle Xigbar made sure of that."

...Okay, I think we've officially reached Don't Want To Know territory. I pat him on the back. "Saïx, Santa's not real."

"I _know_," he grumbles. "Doesn't help."

"All right, well, I promise that I'll protect you from now on. Any mall Santa even _looks_ at you funny, I'll hurl flaming Frisbees at his face."

He smiles a little. "No need to go that far..."

"What about Xi?"

"She is a very selfless person," he mumbles, still not looking at me.

"So that's one kid's childhood you've ruined so far," I say matter of factly. "Just promise you won't shatter Roxas's illusions, okay?"

"Very well. I will lie to him and indeed prove that there is a worldwide conspiracy and adults cannot be trusted."

"Urgh, don't put it like that..."

We both practically fling ourselves back into the car, lips and fingers blue with cold.

"Are you okay?" Xion asks anxiously.

"Everything is fine now," Saïx tells her.

"Axel, can I drive home?" Roxas asks.

"Sorry, buddy, I don't think your feet can reach the pedals yet. Hey, I have to talk to you. You know how Saïx was flipping out earlier?"

"Uh huh."

"Well, turns out he's a _really_ naughty boy. A few years ago, he played a bunch of pranks on the elves and hijacked the sleigh and took it for a joyride and stole presents and gave them to some penguins instead of kids, so now the North Pole police have a warrant for his arrest."

Both of the kids are staring at me, open-mouthed. Xion turns to her brother. "Really?"

Saïx facepalms.

"Yeah," I go on with relish, "so now Santa's goons are after Saïx, so we can't _ever_ let Santa know that we're harboring a fugitive, all right? You ever see Santa, you can run up and tell him what you want for Christmas because Santa still loves you lots, but make _sure_ you don't tell him about Saïx, okay?"

"Okay," Roxas says, his eyes shining. He turns to Saïx. "Saïx, you're really cool."

"There is no conspiracy," he mumbles, "and you can trust adults _always_."

"Huh?"

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I _think_ this story might actually have had the original MLP reference. XD Now you get an idea of how long ago I wrote this.

"that hostage mess" - UMMMM, so I haven't actually posted that story yet (still trying to get it typed), and I'm not sure if I ever will, and if I do it will be _heavily_ censored and likely not even on FFN. X( AND IT'S AN AU. Because I cannot stand the thought of it actually happening in the main Stepsibsverse. (And yes, I've made an AU - several, actually - _of an AU_. *headdesk*) Anyway, so the hostage thing _never actually happened_ in this universe, yet somehow Axel is still able to reference it anyway. *headdeskdeskdesk*


	11. Wind's Legacy: Axel

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Wind's Legacy (rough draft)**

_For Bon-Bon, one of my cherished (:p) ducklings. You're such a great young writer and a wonderful person to talk to! What would Isa, Ienzo and I do without our exuberant Lea? ^_^ It made me laugh when you were so hesitant about requesting a story about my OT4 from one of my favorite universes to write! I hope you like it, darling._

Summary: Xem does mind a little, but he's not the one they have to persuade.

A/N: Axel's POV, by request. ;) Picks up during "Marked Flesh."

o.o.o

"By the way, we're gonna go visit Dad's grave later, hope you don't mind."

Xem stares at me through the rearview mirror. "What?"

"You're _welcome_ to come, _Father_," I say in my whiniest goody-two-shoes voice, even though the last thing I want is for McDoomgaze Senior to tag along and ruin everything. There's a reason I never wanna join Sai and Xi's family on any grave visit ever again...

"We have not discussed this."

"We're discussing it now."

"You can't just make plans without permission from me or your mother."

"What, you're gonna _stop me from visiting my own father's grave_?"

"For one thing, that is not the issue here, and for another, he is not your biological-"

This kind of thing always makes my BLOOD BOIL. Without even thinking, I rip off the seatbelt and surge up to grip the headrests, wanting to _strangle_ Xem. The only reason I don't try is because I catch a glimpse of my twisted face in the mirror first - it startles me just enough to hold me back. "Ventus King was more my father than _you'll_ ever be," I hiss.

His eyes narrow, and he starts doomgazing again. I barely even feel it. "Sit back down."

"I'm GOING."

"Sit _down_."

"You _can't stop me_."

He pauses. And I can _see_ in his eyes that he'll go for Roxas next if I don't sit down.

I hate him.

Glaring hard enough to make his freaking head burst into flames if I had a real doomgaze, I edge back into my seat. Roxas is staring at me.

"Put your seatbelt on," Xem says in this calm, assuming-instant-obedience voice.

"What if I don't feel like it?" I challenge.

Roxas grips my arm tight until I have to lean down, and then he whispers in my ear, "It doesn't matter who my father is or your father is, we are brothers and always will be..."

His voice calms me down, the reassurance that the person in this car I actually care about is listening to me and on my side. I put my seatbelt back on and put an arm around my little brother, who leans back against me in a way that's more protective than tired.

I can see Xem watching us through the mirror again, and I glare back. Finally he says, "I have no objection to the two of you paying your respects, as long as your mother agrees to it."

I'm taking Sai and the kids to see Dad whether Mom's okay with it or not, but whatever; can't hurt to call and get Xem off my back.

Actually, turns out it _can_ hurt.

_"No,"_ she says flatly.

I stare. Even though she's back at the house and there's nothing to stare at. "What?"

_"I'm not letting that creep anywhere near my husband."_

I finally realize her problem, and I want to punch her. "...Mom. He's your son. And Dad-"

_"He's my _step_son, stop _calling_ him that, and I _don't care_! That freak's already stolen my treasure and got _you_ fighting for him, as if I'd let him hurt any more of what's important to me!"_

Oh, so _now_ I'm important to her? Right, I feel soooo loved. "He can't hurt Dad, Dad is _dead_, and even if he was alive he would LOVE Saïx. Saïx would love him."

It feels weird to talk about Saïx like that, but... Saïx would grump along in his sulky shy way, and Dad would try to tease him except Dad was too soft-hearted to really tease anyone for long, and Saïx would keep grumping along in the background not-hiding, and Dad would be nice, and Saïx would be sarcastically insulting and Dad would see through it, and Saïx would be cluelessly rude and Dad would probably be too dumb to notice, and Saïx would be spilling warm fuzzy feelings from his eyes without realizing or cracking a smile and Dad would hug him and make him blush, and it wouldn't be long before they'd love each other to pieces.

_"You just_ love_ ticking me off, don't you. You just think it's _so_ hilarious to push my buttons and make me want to strangle you."_

Well, sometimes, yeah, but I was not playing that game right now. "Mom, I'm not playing around. Saïx and Xion are Dad's stepkids too, you know." Kind of. Close enough. "They have a right to see each other!"

_"Ven can't see anyone, he's dead,"_ she whines, mimicking me.

"Gah!" Sometimes I think she loves pushing _my_ buttons, too. "Why are we arguing about this? I'm-" I suddenly notice the way Xem is watching me. He's not going to let us go if he thinks Mom'll be against it. "Oh," I say, imagining my voice as honey. "I apologize for being rude, Mother."

_"What?"_

"No, you're right, as a good and loyal son I should obey everything you say."

_"Are you on drugs?"_

"It's just that I so very much wanted to take Saïx and Xion to pay their proper respects, but if you're against it..."

_"I am! They're not going! Bring precious home and then take Saïx out to do something stupid like you teenagers usually do and keep him away from me!"_

"What?" I gasp, pretending great astonishment and delight. "You mean you'll let us go after all?"

_"I SAID NO!"_

"Oh, _thank_ you, Mother, _thank_ you," I say rapturously. Roxas is kind of looking at me like I'm crazy, but whatever. "I'll let Father know right away. You have a lovely afternoon." I hang up on the sound of her shouting. "Mom gave me permission."

"..."

"She did." No, no, this is wrong, I keep forgetting sometimes that Xem is different, he doesn't take things the way I mean him to-

"Axel, I would like to believe you, but I regret to say that you have given me little proof of your trustworthiness in such matters. I'm going to have to call your mother to confirm it myself."

I slam my fist against the door, wanting to jump out of the car and shove it and Xem over a cliff. I _hate_ feeling helpless like this...

While Xem's on the phone with Mom, I call Aunt Aqua quick, while I still have the chance.

_"Hello?"_

"They're not letting me see Dad."

_"Pardon?"_

"Mom's flipping out about Saïx and Xem's being his usual control-freak self and _they're not gonna let me see Dad_."

_"Wait a moment, first tell me where you are and what-"_

Xem's doomgazing me and I drop the phone, wincing. "You lied to me."

I curse silently. It hurts a lot more the few times I actually deserve it, but I try not to show how much it's bothering me. "I...just...it was kind of obvious-"

"You are 'grounded' for the remainder of the weekend." He's not used to the word and it'd be funny hearing him say it if I wasn't so freaking mad at him right now. Saïx and Xion have been bullied into being such obedient kiss-ups that he's never had to go as far as grounding them before I came along. Sometimes I feel a little guilty about that... "Once we return home, you are to hand over your cell phone, stay in your room, and not have any contact with your brother or with either of my children."

They want to drive me crazy, don't they. I hate, hate, _hate_ when he does this; why can't they make me do extra chores or pay them money or take away my video games or even my driver's license? _Why do they always have to go for my brothers and sister?_

He's pulling the car over. "Move up to the front seat."

"No," I manage. Roxas's nails are digging into my arm.

"_Move_."

I hold out for a few more long, tense seconds. Then I fling the door open, storm out of the car, stomp around up to the front passenger seat, get in, and slam the door shut. I try to catch a glimpse of Roxas in the rearview mirror without looking like I am. He's staring at me with my phone clutched protectively to his chest. "...I get to keep Roxas for lunch," I manage to growl through clenched teeth.

"...You may sit with Roxas during that time," Xem says. "_If_ you ask more politely."

"..."

He waits.

"Please," I whisper, wanting to set him on fire.

"Very well." Smug jerk, thinks he's won. He pulls back onto the road and keeps driving.

"Axel made Xem mad again," Roxas is telling Aqua. "He can't sit with me anymore except at lunch."

I stare out the window.

"No, I'm okay, I'm just all alone now."

Xem raises his eyebrows a little disbelievingly. His definition of 'alone' is different than ours.

Roxas talks to her a little longer as Xem and I both watch him through the mirror. "Okay. Yeah, I will. I love you, too, Aunt Aqua. Bye." He hangs up. "Aunt Aqua said you have to behave more, Axel, so you don't keep getting in trouble."

"I'll do what I want," I grumble.

"And she said hi to you, Xem, and to be nice to her nephews Or Else."

"Or else what?" he prompts curiously when he thinks Roxas hasn't finished. He really is asking, the idiot.

"Or else she'll come beat you up," Roxas invents. "She can, you know. She's a ninja."

"I highly doubt that. I do, however, respect her combat abilities, so I shall take her sentiment into account."

Eating with my family, cheered up by Xion's brightness and by Saïx being a good big brother and by Roxas's Roxas-ness, I forget to be mad for a while. And because Xigbar leaves right afterwards and Van has someone to meet up with so he can't hog Xion on the way home, I get to keep my family a little longer - Saïx in the front annoying his dad without meaning to and making me laugh, me crammed in the back with both kids who are energetically annoying Xem, too. Win-win.

'Til we get home. Then I'm mad again. I hug Roxas and Xion one last time and don't answer when she asks me what's wrong, and I don't look at Saïx when he watches me, trying to figure out what's up. I toss my phone at the couch, storm to my room, and slam the door. Holding the knob twisted so that it doesn't catch, and I can still hear their voices through the crack between the door and the frame.

"Axel got in trouble _again_?" Xion exclaims in disbelief.

"He lied so we could go see Dad, but we still can't see Dad," Roxas says sadly.

"You see," Mom says in this snooty way that makes my fists clench, "that's why children should never lie."

"So adults can lie?" Xion wonders.

Mom and Xem make backpedaling noises.

"Mom, can I get a tattoo?" Roxas asks.

"What?! NO!"

"Van has a tattoo. Lots of 'em. He got one when he was ten. I'm getting one when I'm ten, too, except I don't think Axel will let me. Maybe Saïx'll let me."

"I will _not_," Saïx growls.

"You will not be permitted to mutilate your body as long as you are a minor, living under this roof, or dependent on my money," Xem snaps in his this-discussion-is-over voice.

There's a pause. "Father," Saïx finally says, "may I speak with you?"

"Yes."

"Come on, precious," Mom says.

"Can I come, too?" Xion asks.

"Sure, sweetie." I think Mom might have hesitated, but she's laughing now.

The three of them go off somewhere and Saïx's voice drops to a murmur.

There's nothing else for me, so I go fall onto the bed and try to pass the time with my music player. _So bored_. And lonely. Mom sucked at grounding me before marrying Xem because she'd, like, forget, or not care when Roxas came to keep me company, so I'm...not used to this. Not having at least Roxas around. Whenever I wasn't with Roxas I was at school or hanging out with my friends or my cousins or something. I'm not used to being _alone_. I don't know what to do. I can't read like Saïx, I'd rather lie on my bed staring at the ceiling than read. I wish I was tired enough to sleep.

Xion's galloping loudly down the hall, the signal for brief contact. She pauses, and I can see a sliver of her through the crack between the door and the frame. We look at each other for a while. She won't say anything to me because she insists on following the rules that she's not supposed to talk to me, but she does blow me kisses, and I blow them back. She smiles sadly again and gallops on to her room.

A little later, Roxas comes wandering by, humming. I go to the door again and he pokes some fish crackers through to me. I don't really care about the fish, but I love that he's trying to look after me. "Thanks, Rox-my-socks," I whisper.

"Stop getting in trouble," he whispers back. "I miss you."

"Miss you, too, kiddo."

"Saïx says we can see Dad soon."

Saïx never makes any promise he doesn't mean. "Can't wait."

"He'll like Xion and Saïx."

"Yup."

Roxas suddenly gasps and runs off, yelling, "Mom, I love you! Let's go make Chi play fetch," to distract her from noticing that he was whispering to me.

A little later, someone else walks by and yanks the door completely shut. Gotta be Saïx; neither of the kids would have done it, and Mom or Xem would have come in to lecture me. It makes me smile when I hear Xem's footsteps pass by a minute later. Saïx doesn't approve of the three of us pushing our punishments as far as we can, but he still watches our backs.

So _bored_...

Every morning after being grounded, I usually wake up (or am woken up by the excited kids) a lot earlier than usual, so my brother and I walk Roxas and Xion to school rather than letting Xem drop them off on his way to work. Getting grounded always makes me miss my siblings, so since I can't have Rox and Xi, I follow Saïx to the library instead of hanging out with my fangirls.

"Why are you following me?"

"Because I'm bored."

"You are not the sort to find this place a suitable alleviation."

"Man, speak English."

"Go sit with your friends and leave me alone."

"They're not my friends. They're just pretty much the only people at this school who don't hate me."

"I'm not your friend, either."

"Yup, you're my little brother."

_annoyance exasperation_ "You are only my elder by thirty days. I hardly think that warrants labeling me with such a title."

"You're just mad because you're not the oldest kid anymore. So whatcha readin'?"

He stares at me. _disbelief hope wariness hurt anger_

Those things really are important to him... I'll never understand_._ "Read it to me."

"What?" _shock hope anger_

"I mean it! I'm bored!" I put on a whiny little kid voice. "Read me a story, pwease."

"Ugh."

As always, the book itself is boring, but the interesting part is watching his eyes as he reads. It's cool, seeing all the emotions flowing through them, all in response to the ink on the pages instead of anything in real life. So, so weird, but...kind of fascinating, too. It's like he's walking through a whole different world that I can't even see. Makes me a little jealous - I don't like that he can go somewhere, that he _likes_ being somewhere I can't follow.

I feel like I miss him even though he's sitting right next to me...but at the same time, hearing him read in his quiet voice, it's like he's connecting with me, too. He almost never reaches out to me, but the few times he does, the few times I'm not having to chase him down, it's such a relief. To get confirmation from more than his eyes that he doesn't hate me or just tolerate me, that he might actually like me.

And I'm seeing all this because of books. So, so, so weird.

The bell rings, breaking the spell. "Thanks, Sai. See ya later."

"Good-bye, Axel."

When the four of us get home from school, Aunt Aqua's car is in the driveway. Roxas and Xion burst in ahead of us, shrieking her name in excitement, and fling themselves on her where she's sitting on the couch with Aunt Ella. Both our aunts pause to hug them and greet us older two, but I can tell from their faces that they're up to something.

"Lea," Aqua says, "you're being ridiculous."

"I don't want to talk about this anymore," Mom says in this weird high voice, glancing at Saïx. He immediately takes the hint and walks off to his room. I stay quiet and let the ladies keep doing their thing.

"Why ever not?" Aunt Ella pretends, as if she didn't notice. "Lea, please understand, this is very important to us and to the children."

"Mom, can I watch cartoons?" Roxas asks.

"Hey, Rox," I say loudly, "let's see if there's any ice cream left in the freezer."

"YES!" Roxas gallops back over to me. Xion stares between all of us in confusion, like she senses something going on but can't figure out what it is. She finally follows as I get Roxas out of the way, and while we're eating our ice cream at the counter, I strain to try to hear what's going on in the living room.

Mom is talking in agitated whispers now, but the other two still sound normal.

"I may not live with him, but he's stayed overnight at my house several times, and there is _nothing wrong with him_," Aunt Aqua's saying. "He can even be sweet in his own way once you get to know him, and is certainly much more polite than both your sons _and_ mine."

"I heard that," I call, pretending to be offended even though I don't care because it's completely true.

"Then take the hint," she calls back good-humoredly.

"I just can't stand it!" Mom's voice is climbing back into audible levels. "Have you _seen_ him with Roxas? I can't _stand_ it."

"But what's wrong with a little boy like Roxas admiring his older brother and wanting to be with him when he's a good role model?" Aunt Ella asks in this artfully puzzled tone.

"Roxas should feel like that about _me_! That person is_ not his brother_!"

"Lea." That's Aqua again, sounding like she's nearing the end of her patience. "Perhaps you haven't noticed, but those four consider each other to be as close as full blood-siblings."

"Yeah, and it drives me-"

Aqua just keeps right on talking. "I don't think they even remember the technicalities sometimes. I know your feelings on this, but you've got to understand that _they don't see each other_ the way you do, or even the way your husband does."

Roxas and Xion have finally picked up on all this and are now listening, too, forgetting about the ice cream melting in their hands.

"Roxas might be the only one with Ven's name on his birth certificate," she continues, "but all four of them claim him as their father at least to some extent, and I think they have every right to. You have to understand exactly what it is you're denying them."

Mom makes a frustrated sound. "I don't mind _Xion_ seeing him, okay? It's _stupid_, but what_ever_; she can go see him if she wants! That's not what I'm talking about!"

"Xi," I say quietly, trying not to let my anger show, "Rox, go play."

"I wanna stay and listen," Roxas says, too loudly, and Xion shushes him.

"_Go play_."

"Mom still doesn't like Saïx?" Xion asks sadly.

"I am so serious, guys, go away until we figure this out." Roxas totally ignores me; Xion reluctantly climbs down from the barstool, but then just stands there and keeps listening.

"...not like he can harm anything there," Aunt Ella is saying.

"I've _seen him_, him and that delinquent cousin of his! I've seen them _burn things_! Those eyes are-!" Mom breaks off and yells at us, "Go play!"

Xion sighs and goes upstairs. Roxas stomps around, opens the back door and closes it again to pretend he went out, then tiptoes back and climbs into my lap to keep listening.

Mom's talking in heated whispers again, but we can still hear our aunts.

"Of _course_ it's unusual, but it's only frightening because you've never taken the time to understand!"

"Axel and little Xion have explained it to me, and it does make sense. You have to find something to like or appreciate about him first. Lea, dear, have you ever tried that?"

More angry whispering.

"Oh, but that just isn't true! There is plenty."

"What about Xem," Aqua tries, "obviously you like Xem, don't you?"

Mom grumbles something that I think is, "I don't have to worry about Xem _spontaneously combusting me with his eyes_."

They keep on like this for a while until Mom's finally like, "It doesn't matter! I _hate_ that my own son loves him more than me and I _hate_ that I can't do anything about it, but I _can_ do something about this and they're NOT GOING!"

There's a pause. Then a sniffling sound.

"Oh, Ella, don't cry," Aqua says in this overly concerned voice.

"I...I'll be all right," Ella tries to say, all choked up with her semi-fake tears, "it's just that it's so _sad_ to me..."

"It's not sad!" Mom insists. "He won't _die_ just because he can't doomgaze a tombstone!"

"Really, Ella, stop crying," Aqua fake-orders. "You know how upset Terra gets whenever anyone makes you cry."

Mom abruptly goes Very Quiet. I don't blame her - it's hard to get Uncle Terra really mad, but the few times it does happen, heh...

"Aunt Ella's really crying?" Roxas asks me in alarm.

"No," I whisper. "She's trying to get Mom to let us go see Dad. Roxas, we need your help."

He stares at me, anxious and businesslike.

"You have to go hug Mom and tell her you love her. Don't say anything about me or Saïx or Xion or visiting Dad, okay? Just show Mom that you love her a lot. She's not letting us go because she thinks you love Saïx more than her and she's jealous, so try to make her not jealous."

Roxas salutes me and starts to head for the living room before I catch him. "You 'went out to play,' remember?"

"Oh yeah." He tiptoes over to slam the back door open and shut, then gallops past me again, yelling, "Mom, it's cold outside!"

"Precious-"

As I watch, trying to keep out of sight, he climbs into her lap and hugs her. "Can I sit with you please?"

She frowns as she strokes his hair. "You're not cold at all."

"Ummm...I ran around a lot and got hot."

"Roxas-"

He leaps back to his feet and tugs at her arm. "Mommy, come play with me!"

"Ugh, no, it's cold outside!"

"I'll throw leaves at you," he says persuasively.

"No," she laughs. "In these clothes? No!"

"Well, wear some fun clothes, then, not stupid clothes you can't get dirty!"

While they're playing outside, Aunt Aqua calls Terra and I give Aunt Ella some cookies so she won't be bored, then go up to get some more ammunition. Saïx is working on what I assume is homework, ignoring the way Xion's spread ponies and Barbie dolls all over his floor and has hung a tied-up doll from his knee, with a dragon perched in his top desk drawer.

"Oh no! The dragon's coming out! Hurry, Maximilian, we've got to save Crystal before she gets eaten! Quick, Glimmerbreeze, come stand here at the foot of the cliff and lift us up, maybe we can climb up and save her before it's too late!"

"Saïx," I say, "take your computer to the bed."

"What?"

"And Xion, do something cute to him."

"Is it a new game?" she asks curiously.

"It's called Convince Mom That Saïx Isn't A Total Monster."

"Good luck with that," Saïx says calmly as he keeps typing.

I grab his computer, and he's too worried about damaging it to try to wrestle it out of my grip. I plop it back on his stomach once we've gotten him on the bed, and Xion happily climbs up and snuggles against him. With her pony, Dawncrest Tide. After having perched Moonwolf Crescent on Saïx's chest and stuck a bouquet of roses from the Barbie Bridal Set into his hair.

"Is this really necessary?" Saïx says in a pained voice.

"Couldn't hurt. Pretend you're typing."

He sighs hugely and does, and Xion pretends to be fascinated by whatever's on the computer screen, and I snap a picture of my brother and sister together. "Great! I'll show this to Mom."

"You did not tell me photographs would be involved," Saïx storms.

"Do you want to see Dad or don't you?" I say pointedly.

"I was trusting that to your aunts."

"Well, they need some help, okay? Just be glad you didn't have Roxas and his Ninja Turtles on your other side."

"The turtles would have been preferable," Saïx grumbles, glaring at the ponies.

As I leave the room with Xion's, "Whaaaat? You like the ugly turtles better than _ponies_?" echoing behind me, I get the photo back onscreen and hand it to my aunts in the living room. "Pretend to squee over this when Mom comes back in."

"Who needs to pretend?" Aqua laughs as she and Aunt Ella focus on the phone.

"That little girl is so precious," Ella coos. "And considering his personality, it really is kind of Saïx to tolerate those toys, isn't it."

"Hey, you're supposed to convince _Mom_, not me!"

By the time Xem comes home, Mom's grudgingly agreed to let us go. I want to dash off right away before she can change her mind, but now Xem's going on about how it's too late in the afternoon on a weekday and blah blah blah, and he wants us to wait for the weekend but I want to go _now_. I'd probably blow up and ruin it for all of us if Saïx and our aunts weren't keeping me in check. Still, I want to leave I want to leave I want to _leave_...

Xem compromises, so the next day, Terra and Aqua pick us all up from school. Just in case, Aunt Ella's taken Mom out shopping for the entire afternoon, so it's just the six of us heading out to FINALLY see Dad.

"It's pretty here," Xion says, practically glued to the window as we drive down the lane.

"All cemeteries are beautiful," Saïx muses softly. I don't really think he was talking to us. He's staring out the window on the other side so I can't see his eyes.

"I never thought about that, but you're right," Uncle Terra agrees as he drives.

Roxas looks dubious. "It's a lot of rocks and flowers." He looks out the windows for a while, too. "I guess the flowers are pretty. I bet all the dead people are happy to get so many flowers."

"I would guess they're happier when people visit," Aunt Aqua says.

"Well, that's what we're here for."

"Yup."

"Axel, do dead people get bored when no one visits them?"

Dad's next to a tree. I have never seen that tree stay still, even on days with quiet weather; its branches constantly seem to be tossing in a wind, almost like it's excited to see us. "Dad!" I yell, glomping the tombstone.

"Daaaad!" Roxas yells as he runs up after me, glomping the other side of the stone. Our eyes meet and we burst into laughter.

Saïx and Xion are still over by the car, staring at us as if we've just desecrated the _Mona Lisa_.

"Come say hi to Dad!" Roxas yells at them.

"Roxas, stop _yelling_!" Xion squeaks.

Saïx looks at my aunt and uncle, who are unloading the car and obviously not telling us to shut up. He wordlessly moves to help Aunt Aqua carry stuff, and I know he's not going to say a thing until he's figured out what's going on. He's so _fun_.

"Xi, come on!" I yell. I go over to scoop her up and _bring_ her over, but Uncle Terra gets to me first and makes me carry things instead of him and Aunt Aqua and Saïx doing all the work.

"Is it okay?" Xion asks me apprehensively as we all gather under the tree.

"Is what okay?"

"Ummm..." She's standing holding Saïx's arms around her, with him going _uncertainty anxiety wariness discomfort_ over her head.

"Axel and Roxas's family has never been very formal," he tells her quietly.

"I take it that the grave visits to your own relatives are different?" Aqua asks curiously.

"They make boring speeches. But we don't have to do that today." Roxas grabs Xion and practically drags her closer to the tombstone even though she's trotting to keep up with him willingly enough. "Hey Dad, we brought new people. This is Xion. She's my best friend, and my sister too because Mom married Xem and that means she's my sister now I guess. It's okay that she's a girl because she's not dumb like the other girls, except she plays with ponies and other dumb girl stuff but the ponies are still kind of fun because we shoot laser guns at dragons and bad guys and stuff except that sometimes the dragons are the good guys, and Axel says it's okay to play ponies, so it's okay. Xion's cool."

"Roxas, you're supposed to be nicer to girls," Uncle Terra scolds as he comes up behind them. He sweeps up Xion in his arms like she weighs nothing and smiles at his brother's memorial. "Xion isn't just 'not dumb,' she's very smart - she can see straight into people's hearts."

"It's harder when they don't have yellow eyes," Xion admits.

Terra smiles and smoothes her wind-whipped hair back from her face. "She is the sweetest, most beautiful little girl I've ever seen," he continues, then winks at her. "Though that's only because I didn't meet Ella until high school where she wasn't a little girl anymore."

Xion giggles. "You're supposed to say that because Aunt Ella's your true love."

He kisses the side of her head. "You're someone's true love, too."

"Yup. And my true love is strong like you and smart like Axel and fun like Roxas and he'll help me like Saïx. And he's rich like Daddy and pretty like Uncle Zack was and he'll buy me a real pony of my very own and I'll feed her apples and strawberries-"

"That's all you have to say about my husband, that he was 'pretty'?" Aunt Aqua pouts.

"Well, he was," I point out. "_Is_." Zack Fair and his wife definitely keep in shape - he still turns plenty of heads at age fifty, and she turns even more.

"_All_ you boys from both families are handsome, it doesn't count," she grumbles.

Uncle Terra lets Xion down again, and she pats the tombstone in a friendly way. "Hi, Roxas's dad. Roxas is my best friend, too, so I hope that's okay."

"_Duh_ it's okay." Roxas turns and goes to grab Saïx's hand, and I've already sidled up on Sai's other side, so together we pull/shove him over to join Xion. "And this is Saïx. So I have two big brothers now. He's all scary with yellow eyes so it's really cool 'cuz whenever anyone's mean, I just tell Saïx and he comes and looks at them and they run away and leave me alone, and that way Axel doesn't get in trouble and I don't have to punch them and get in trouble, either."

I stare at them. "Wait, _what_?"

"I'll tell you later," Saïx mutters.

"Wait, WHAT?!"

"Well," Uncle Terra chuckles, "it shouldn't be much of a surprise. You two _are_ sharing the Big Brother job now, Axel."

"But...but...!"

Aunt Aqua sets her hands encouragingly on Saïx's shoulders to make her own introductions. "My new nephew is a very responsible and well-mannered young man, which I _quite_ appreciate since we definitely need more of those around. Sometimes I think I'll lose my mind before my boys grow adults brains and stop being stupid..."

"Gippal's not too bad," Terra muses. "And Demyx is a lot more lazy than actually stupid, I think..."

"Well, why should I have to put up with them in the meantime when I've already got a perfect candidate right here?" Aqua huffs, her arms sliding around Saïx's shoulders in a hug.

His cheeks are just a little flushed. "I would have loved to have you for a mother," he says, very quietly. I don't think he meant for the rest of us to hear, but he happened to say it in a lull.

There's a long pause, and the color in his face deepens.

"Aunt Aqua's hair looks like yours," Xion laughs. "Maybe she can be your third mommy. So you'll have three mommies just like me."

"Aunt Aqua's hair's way better than Saïx's," Roxas points out.

"Your one flaw," Aqua laments playfully, trying to comb out Saïx's hair a little with her fingers. "This is so _dry_, love. I'm going to take you out later and get you some better hair products."

"I have no desire to spend hours on my hair like _some_ of us do," Saïx growls. Meaning me. But, hey, I have great hair, why _shouldn't_ I take the time to make it look cool instead of a shaggy mess like his?

"Hey, Dad doesn't care about hair," Roxas says impatiently. Which is true. Dad spent about as much time on his hair as six-year-old Roxas does. Just like his father, Roxas is lucky if anyone remembers to get his hair combed in the mornings so that he doesn't go around all day with it sticking straight up at crazy uneven angles - though a lot of people seemed to be under the impression that that was Ven's deliberately-chosen hairstyle, so maybe it's actually a stroke of genius rather than laziness. "He's hungry. And he wants his flowers."

Aunt Aqua gets out the bouquets we'd beheaded earlier and hands around all the stemless blossoms.

"I'm going to count to three," Roxas warns considerately.

"And then what?" Xion asks.

"We're gonna make a flower rain."

"Throw your flowers in the air when he gets to three," I explain.

Saïx is staring at us like we're aliens.

"One, two, th-!"

"Wait, Roxas, they're not gonna throw them!"

He stares. "What?"

"Look," I tell our slightly freaked-out-looking brother and sister. "We do this all the time. There's no built-in vase here like there is for your mom, and it's more fun to leave the flowers this way, and you're going to MESS IT UP if you don't throw them at the same time we do. Okay?"

"We can really throw the flowers?" Xion asks breathlessly.

"Of course. Up in the air, by the way; throw them high so that they come down like rain. Saïx, _don't mess it up_."

_resentment anxiety_

"It's all right," Aunt Aqua tries to reassure him.

"Okay, Roxas, one!"

"Two!" he yells eagerly.

"THREE!"

Sai's armful is a little late, but only by a couple of seconds. Roxas laughs, and Xion spins with her arms out as the blossoms all come tumbling down again.

"Reminds me of when Aeris was little," Terra murmurs.

"Ohhh, I miss my babyyy!" Aqua wails good-naturedly.

Xion stops spinning and stares. "Where's your baby?"

Aqua laughs. "Your cousin Aeris, I meant."

"She's not a baby, she's big," Roxas objects.

"That's right, she's not my baby anymore..."

"Your children will always be your babies," Terra says, hugging his sister soothingly.

We spread out a picnic under the wind-tossed tree and unpack the food. Roxas insists on setting out a sandwich for Dad.

"He's not eating it," Xion observes after a little while.

"He will," Roxas says confidently. "It's always gone when we come again."

Saïx looks at the interested birds clustering nearby and nicely doesn't say anything.

"That's right," I chuckle.

"Hey," Xion says, "I wanna hear stories about Dad."

Roxas puts his sandwich down. "I don't have any."

Seeing the look on his face, Aunt Aqua shifts closer and pulls him into her lap. "I have plenty. Which one would you like me to tell, Roxas? Or do you want a new one?"

"Tell 'em the Power Rangers one."

Terra laughs, remembering.

"Well, that one started when Ven was about fourteen...I was a senior in high school, Terra was home on vacation." She's stroking Roxas's hair, gazing at him as he nestles contentedly against her, and I know she's looking at him and seeing her little brother. I've seen pictures of Dad when he was a kid... He and Roxas could be twins, it's amazing how much they resemble each other. "The boys went to a convention, and Terra dressed up as some sort of samurai but Ven wanted to cosplay Void Gear from that silly old TV show, I forgot what it was called."

"_Revenge of the Unversed_," I supply, and Terra high-fives me appreciatively.

"You ought to tell it," Aqua chuckles, "since I wasn't even there."

"True," Terra says easily. "So we're walking around as Saitou and Void Gear, and these little kids run up thinking Ven's a Power Ranger."

"The outfits are pretty close," I realize, laughing. "Except for the skirt part, I think _Unversed_ had _Power Rangers_ beat on that one..."

"So the kids are like, 'Ahhh, you have to come fight Lord Zedd, you have to come fight Lord Zedd!' and poor Ven's like, 'I can't fight Lord Zedd, I'm supposed to fight the Key Masters,' but they're like, 'You GOTTA come fight Lord Zedd!' So we follow them halfway across the hotel and people keep stopping us to take pictures because our costumes were pretty awesome-"

"I'm gonna show you the pictures when we get home," Roxas says. "You're gonna be like, 'Where's Dad and Uncle Terra?' and I'm gonna be like, 'They're right there!' because you're gonna think it's really them because they're costumes are so awesome. Everyone thought they were really them and made them fight."

"You wanna tell the story?" Uncle Terra teases.

"No, you do it," Roxas commands. "You're supposed to do it."

"All-righty. So we finally find this guy dressed like Lord Zedd, with the brain and everything; his costume was pretty awesome, too."

"You couldn't see his face," Roxas prompts.

"For you non-Power-Rangers fans, yes, you couldn't see his face because he had a helmet," Terra says with a wink at Saïx. "So we have this epic Nerd Battle, Saitou & Void Gear vs. Lord Zedd, and people are taking pictures like crazy-"

"And you guys won," Roxas jumps in eagerly.

"And we won," Terra confirms proudly. "Then we parted ways and enjoyed the rest of the convention and didn't think we'd see that guy ever again. Well, so then two years later Aqua's in college, and she's started dating this guy called Zack Fair, maybe you've heard of him."

"That's Uncle Zack!" Xion cries in delight.

"Yup, except he wasn't an uncle then."

"He wasn't?"

Saïx sighs a little. "To be a uncle, one's sibling or sibling-in-law must have a child. And obviously one must also be male."

"Don't be confusing," Roxas orders. "Be quiet and listen to the story."

Saïx rolls his eyes, and Xion snuggles close to him.

"Soooo," Uncle Terra continues, "one day Zack's telling Aqua and Ven about this convention he went to once where he had an epic Nerd Battle against these guys in awesome Saitou and Void Gear costumes..." He trails off and grins at Xion, while Roxas leans forward on his hands and knees to stare at her as if trying to will the realization into her brain.

Xion gasps. "Uncle Zack was Lord Zedd!"

"Exactly!" Terra cheers as Roxas whoops. "So in a total coincidence, Ven and I actually met Aqua's future husband before she did."

Xion thinks this is the funniest thing ever, Roxas is getting a kick out of someone new hearing the story, and I notice that Aunt Aqua's got the same smile on her face that I feel on my own as we watch them.

Saïx glances at me. "What about you, Axel?"

"Huh?"

"From what I gather, you and Ventus seemed to get along well. I would like to hear a story from you."

It's real quiet all of a sudden, except for the wind. Roxas crawls closer to me, looking curious. "You don't talk about Dad a lot."

I hadn't really thought about it, but I guess I don't. It's not like I try to avoid the subject or anything, it just... I dunno. Sometimes with Terra and Aqua, yeah. But not with Roxas. It's just...he's still so young, and he didn't...know Dad the way I did...I dunno. Maybe I _should_ try to talk about Dad more with his own son. It's just... Well, I don't know.

I don't realize how long the pause has gotten until I glance up again and notice the kids staring at me a little worriedly, Saïx and our aunt and uncle studying me carefully. I try to grin at them all, even though I'm a little annoyed. "Quit staring at me, I'm thinking."

"Think faster," Roxas says. "I wanna hear the story."

"Okay, fine, here's one. Mom and I had this game, when she was dating. She'd-" Suddenly I realize that I don't want to tell this story, because Ven was the only good part about it. Sometimes I hate my mom, but...she's my mom. She's part of me. Especially when I was a kid, before Roxas came along, I was the most important thing to her, and we actually got along, like, half the time. (Instead of never, like we do now.) So watching her get rejected because of me, over and over and over and over again...

By the time Ven came along, I was so sick of it and so horrible to him, I don't like feeling this way when I remember it. "Never mind, I'm gonna tell something else."

"Whaaat?"

"No, Axel, tell the first story!"

"I went with Mom and Dad on their first For Serious date, okay? Boring."

"That's not boring, I wanna hear it!"

"You know, Roxas, I didn't always love you," I start anyway.

His mouth drops open and he stares at me with these huge shocked eyes. I look down because I can't bear seeing him look at me like that, but I can still feel myself grinning as I start shredding pieces off the edge of my paper plate. "Before you were born, I was jealous. Because I thought Mom and Dad would love you more than they'd love me."

"What? That's stupid," Roxas scoffs, but everyone else is completely silent. I'm still looking down so I can't see it, but it sounds like even the tree has actually gone quiet for once.

"That's what Dad thought, too. He tried being nicer to me than usual and talking to me, but I kept calling him names and wrecking things and getting in trouble. Finally one day, when we were supposed to go shopping for baby stuff or whatever for what was gonna be your half of the room, I pitched this huge fit because it was supposed to be _my_ room and I didn't want that Roxas brat or any of his crap in here blah blah blah."

"You called me a brat?" he says indignantly.

This time I'm able to meet his eyes as I grin at him. "Yup. I called you worse things, too, actually."

"Heeeyyyy!"

"Don't worry, Mom got me back for it. So we were supposed to go shopping, but I was pitching my fit and Mom was getting super-mad, and finally Dad just grabbed me and marched me outside and shoved me in the car and drove away." Oh, wait, they wouldn't know. "He'd never done anything like that before, by the way."

I don't think he'd ever touched me roughly in his whole life except for that one time, unless we were wrestling or something which didn't count. "So at first I was kind of nervous, but when he didn't say anything I started mouthing off again, and he didn't say a _word_. He didn't say anything that whole car ride, even when I turned the radio to the kind of music he hated. Finally I got so bored I just went to sleep, and when I woke up we were bouncing down this dirt road by the lake. He parked and turned off the car and just got out and left me there."

I'm flashbacking to that afternoon, seeing Dad in my mind sitting down by the water with those horrible hunched shoulders, feeling awful myself. I finally couldn't stand it anymore so I'd gotten out of the car, and it had occurred to me to run away, but that was stupid and not what I wanted at all. I wanted to be with my dad. I wanted him to tell me he still wanted me, but I knew he was so angry in his quiet way and he wouldn't even look at me, and it was my fault I'd made him like that, but I couldn't bring myself to apologize but that was so _stupid_ of me because I wish I could go back now and tell him how sorry I am about everything and how much I loved him, still love him, miss him _so much_...

"So he left you there forever?" Roxas asks in this resigned kind of way.

Oops. I'm supposed to be talking. "No," I laugh. "Sorry, I forgot. Um... Oh yeah, so he got out and sat down by the lake for a while, and finally I got bored and got out and went over to him. There wasn't a single person or boat or anything, it was just me and him. And I was like, 'So why'd you drag me all the way out here, loser?' like I was a tough guy or something. Idiot.

"He got up again so he was taller than me and put his hands on his hips and finally looked me straight in the eye. And he was like, 'Well, Axel, I'm thinking maybe you're right about the place being too small for both of you. So I figured I'd bring you out here and kill you and hide your body in the woods where no one will ever find you, and then we'll have plenty of room for the new kid once you're gone.' And I just looked at him. Because, like, it wasn't even Dad talking. I looked at him and said, 'You'd never do that.' And he said of _course_ he wouldn't." He'd started crying then, actually, but I'm not going to tell that part. "He said he'd sooner do something like that than stop loving me, and since he wouldn't ever hurt me like that, then, well, duh."

I'm not telling this very good at all. It's hard to tell a story when I can practically _see_ it all happening again in my mind, feel him shaking as he hugs me, pouring all that anger into grief instead of the other way around like I always do. "I just...I can't explain it, but I kind of got it, then. I still wasn't exactly looking forward to getting a brother, but I stopped hating it." Stopped being afraid. "And we got back in the car and drove up the lake until we reached the bait-and-tackle place, and we went fishing."

"Did you catch anything?" Xion asks.

"Heh, nope. Neither of us had any clue what we were doing. But it was fun anyway, just hanging out with Dad all afternoon." And finally, finally not being mad at him anymore, and finally getting to see his awesome smile again, the smile that makes you feel like nothing's wrong in the world anywhere. Even Roxas doesn't quite have that smile. "Then we went back home and Mom had bought all this _awful_ junk for your room, Roxas, but I liked it because every time I looked at that horrible crib and the mobile and whatever, I knew it was there because Dad hadn't been there to stop her and make her get better ones. Because he'd been with me instead."

"Were you still mad at me after I was born?" Roxas asks.

"_No way_. I loved you as soon as I saw you, and I never stopped."

"Okay." Satisfied, he goes back to lean against Aqua and be cuddled again.

I'm watching him...seeing Dad's face, Dad's blue eyes, even his hair's the exact same shade of honey-brown, the same uncombed spiky mess. "Man, Roxas. You look so freaking much like him."

"That's what everyone says," he answers in his Duh voice.

I can't see. I've gone blind and I can't see a thing, because suddenly there are freaking tears in my eyes and I quickly get up and walk away before anyone notices.

I'm trekking past stone after stone and so many flowers, aimlessly determined, I haven't cried over Dad in so long, it caught me off guard. The breeze has grown stronger, rushing past my skin and tossing my hair in and out of my face and making my clothes flap wildly around me. _'I miss you...so...much.'_

I've been leaning against one of the trees for a while, trying to see if I can go back now or if the tears will start up again if I try. There are footsteps behind me...I tense up, can't tell whether it's my uncle or my aunt, and I wish they'd go away because I'm not up to talking to anyone yet.

Whoever it is leans against the other side of the tree, and I wait resentfully. Then he says in Saïx's quiet voice, "I've always liked their names. _Ventus_ means 'wind' in Latin."

The tension immediately seems to drain out of my body. I wonder why I don't mind at all that it's Saïx. "Huh. I didn't know that." I glance back over my shoulder. Past the strands of wind-teased blue hair drifting across his shoulders, I can see Terra and Aqua and the kids still hanging out with Dad. "I wonder if that tree has anything to do with it."

"Hm?"

It kind of feels dumb telling him... "Even when there's no wind, its leaves and branches still move like there is."

"Is that so," he murmurs thoughtfully.

"Yeah. It's really weird."

"...Just as strange as the scent of vanilla rising in a place where no such plants grow." He pauses, then adds a little self-consciously, "Perhaps."

I smile. "I wonder how Dad would get along with your mom."

He doesn't say anything for a while. Then, "It was a good story you told."

"Pffft, except for the part where I burst into tears at the end and ran off."

"...It's all right to grieve with us, you know."

"Says the guy who's been my brother for a whole year now and hasn't cried even once that I know of."

He makes an unhappy, slightly annoyed noise. Then finally says, "I'm not ready."

It might be a little awkward somewhere else, but here in the cemetery it feels like the most natural thing in the world to come around and throw my arm over his shoulders. "Well, one thing at a time, huh?"

He doesn't shrug me off, which I guess is his way of hugging me back. "I think that would be best."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Some of the Power Rangers stuff was inspired by Taliax and Infamousplot. ^^

...This story is gonna have to double as my August 4th fic, because I'm likely going to have to give up on Pairing Days for at least the rest of the summer. I had no idea how much time and energy they'd consume, and since June and the first half of July were pretty much eaten by Pairing Days, and the second half of July by family matters, I need to just give it up for August so that I can get more important stuff done (and so I can keep my sanity). Time is ticking, summer vacation is passing quickly. I really, really wanna do Riku/Naminé Day for some reason (December 8th), I'll be mad at myself if I don't succeed with DemXig, and I'll be gnashing my teeth if I miss LARXENE SUPER-DAY THAT WILL NEVER COME AGAIN EVER, but I'll probably just post the other Pairing Day plunnies as regular fics whenever I get a chance to finish them.

**I had a lot of trouble coming up with pony names for Roxas & Xion - Taliax ended up figuring them out first and gave me permission to use them. Rox is Sunset Keyblaze, and Xi is Dawncrest Tide. X3** And dang it, I still haven't been able to post the draft I finished a long time ago that I originally needed Rox & Xi's pony names for!

**To Silence (again, did my best to avoid spoilers, not sure how successful I was):** No problem - and, heh, at least you had plenty to read when you came back, right? ^^ And of course I answered such a long and heartfelt review, I was very happy to read it!

Ohhhhh, _crap_, now you've scared me. XD I'm still not sure if I wanna post Kay's story when I'm able to write it, for the exact same reasons I didn't want to write it in the first place...

D: I hope you're not using anything about this fic for schoolwork! Everything I've learned about this kind of thing is as a complete amateur. :/

Heh, I don't like **Lea**, either, but I do feel sorry for her now that I've gotten to know her, and...well, everyone else disliking her so much has kind of made me like her more. *sweatdrop* **The thing I absolutely hate the most and can't stand is her name. DX DX DX DX It's far too late to change it, but I'm really kicking myself now for being so flippant about giving her a canon name when she turned out to be such a horrible OC. Ugh.**

Anyway, I'm still actually trying to work all this out, and your review gave me some food for thought (so thank you for that!) - part of it is that Xem didn't know most of the things that were going on. He started realizing that there was something wrong, and reluctantly (because it's a difficult thing for him to reconcile in his mind) started taking steps to try to deal with it, but he didn't find out about some things until after her death. Even now, Xigbar and especially Van actually know more than he does. Well, and Xehanort, but Xehanort doesn't count because that jerk knows everything. Kay also quickly started schooling her speech depending on whoever she was talking to; there were only three, perhaps four people she was completely honest with, and Xem wasn't one of them. **Oh, and because I realized that I never actually clarified this in any of the stories yet, Kay is the only person who still experiences the "doomgaze" effects even after "unlocking" it.**

"character is so fleshed out" But I haven't finished rounding out Kay (and Xem) yet, and I've only done a little of Lea! :O Thank you for the compliment after that, though; that was really sweet of you. ;;

I shall take note of what you said about the poll! (You can vote for up to two choices, btw.) I put it up mainly to help me figure out the order I should post the 'parent' stories in when I've finished them (I'm hopefully going to shove them all up in one sitting, since they'll all probably be too freaking cringe worthy to post alone), but I think I know how I'm going to do that now.

Yay, a review! XD

I've been trying hard to show the good sides of all the parents, since they're usually so horrible (except Ven, of course) and I don't like how the bad side of their personalities seem to be over-emphasized. They all have serious faults, but I didn't want any of them to be total monsters, either... (Xehanort is the only one in this universe who is.) With "Ferris Wheel," I was at least attempting to balance it out just a little more. (And then the pre-"Hoof Prints" story is going to undo all my work on Kay because it's going to be posted later than it should have been, argh.)

... *deletes paragraph of writer-angst about how OOC Saïx is in "Ferris Wheel"* It...it's just...in this universe he's so different because he has a heart and he's a teenager and I'm working backward from canonSaïx rather than working forward from canonIsa, and I'm adding some interpretations of my own as well, but there's still a line that shouldn't be crossed for his characterization, and I think I crossed it in this story...there's just a limit to how nice Number VII can be. X(

Urk, I never meant for this series to be so depressing, it was all supposed to be cute humorous fluff, yet it turned into this horrible angsty soap opera. *covers face* I'm glad that you still like it so much...if people like it, then it can't be as horrible as I think it is, I just can't seem to convince myself of that.

I'm glad it was apparent enough that Saïx wanted his brothers with him! ^^

Kay's actually the one who creeps me out a lot more than Lea does...but then, there's stuff about her I haven't posted yet, either.

Heeee, AkuSaiRokuShi makes me gooey, too. X3 That's why they're my OT4 (I honestly cannot decide if I like them or my OTP better), they're all just so friggin' adorable together, and it's not the _same_ if any of the four are missing.

Yussss, MLP ftw. I swear, I don't even like the show all that much and have only seen less than twenty episodes, but I LOVE referencing it, it's absolutely hilarious. X3 Heheh, Xion, Axel, and Roxas have been doing their best, but Saïx still hasn't budged on his anti-pony position. :p

"I imagine the stuff they do at Ven's grave would make Xem go into cardiac arrest, it's so disrespectful." XD

"Hoof Prints" is pretty much the only Stepsibs story I truly like and still enjoy reading, even though it's been a while since I wrote it. I _should_ feel really, really bad for Saïx, but...I keep laughing too hard to feel sorry for him. *sweatdrop* His entire thought process as soon as he saw the prints was pretty much a loop of, "MUST GET OUT OF THIS HOUSE," hence the rambling to try to justify it and cover it up... ^^; Helps to have an extremely understanding and cooperative little sister.

**Btw, what Kay and later Xigbar did/said to Saïx to make him afraid of Santa Claus will probably come off as anticlimactic** - I was supposed to have posted that story before "Hoof Prints" (it was supposed to be Van's debut, too; argh), but I haven't finished writing it yet. :/

"Axel throwing his Frisbees at Santa's face screaming " FOR MY BRA(Bro)!"" XD XD XD This needs fanart so bad... If you draw it, I would very much love to see it! :D

DX DX DX Still haven't decided whether or not I'll post the hostage story yet (still haven't finished typing it, either; gah). (I swear, I don't _try_ to write stuff like this, it just comes to me. And the thing I hate most about it is that it was conceived as a humor fic, which is incredibly disrespectful. *concussion-inducing headdesk*) The only thing I'm certain about is that there's no way I'll ever let the full version see the light of day, so anything that makes it into public will be heavily censored. (Plus, it's stupid. I mean, the plot/setup/etc. is just stupid, there was no good reason for me to write it except to make it stop writing itself in my head.)

There you go complimenting me again. ;; On the one hand, I love that you love these stories so much, it makes me really happy, but on the other hand, I can't stand it because I'm so self-conscious... Every time I re-read most of my own stories, including the majority of the Stepsibs ones, all I see are the mistakes and, just, all the evidence that I'm getting it wrong and have no idea what I'm talking about, so it simultaneously shames me that people are reading this horrible stuff yet makes me really happy that it seems to mean so much to other people in a positive way. So...thank you...I really am glad you like them. And of course this is fanfiction, the reason I so enjoy writing in the Stepsibsverse (ftr, I LOVE writing in the Stepsibsverse, I just don't like re-reading what I wrote XD) is because I adore this group of characters so much. They, and Kingdom Hearts in general, have a lot of meaning for _me_, too. This is just my way of being more of a fan, of trying to articulate some of what touches me so much about these characters... Even when I make them horribly OOC and the real Saïx especially is worlds away from how I've come to write him, it's still an experience for me, too, as a fellow KH fan. :)

Holy cow, you almost forgot about KH3D because of this? XD ***spoiler warning?* **But AkuSai's only got ONE SCENE in that game, and it's a stupid angsty one. *pouts* Stupid Nomura, stupid canon, why can't my boys be happyyyyy?

:O :O :O 8D OH-EM-GEE THERE'S AN AKUSAI KEYBLADE? *must have picture* Or do you mean Bond of Flame from KH2...? Saïx didn't have a Keychain, though... *wants*


	12. Winner: Axel

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Winner (rough draft)**

_For Axel/Roxas Day, 13 August 2012_

Summary: For Roxas, it's worth it.

A/N: Axel's POV. Sequel to an unpublished story. *sweatdrop* Takes place before they meet Saïx & Xion.

o.o.o

So, so, so, so, _so, so, so, so friggin' cold_, I'm sitting on this park bench practically curled into a fetal position, but Roxas is running around with no coat like it's summer.

"Axel!" He runs over and pounces on me. "You're boring! Come play!"

"S-s-sorry, Rox-x," I chatter, "I c-can't...you g-go on-n..."

He frowns at me. "Axel?" I can tell he's cold, too, because of the color of his face and hands, but it just _doesn't bother him_.

"Sor-ry..." I try to smile, but I _can't_. Because I can't feel my lips.

He stands there staring at me for a long time, and I squeeze my eyes shut.

"It's because I played in the fountain and got our coats wet, isn't it."

"...Go...p-play, Roxas..."

Then suddenly I suck in a (_painful_) breath and crack my eyes open again, because I heard a sniffle. Sure enough, tears are glimmering in his eyes.

"Ro-oxas-s, d-don't..."

"It's all my fault."

Well, yeah, but I don't _care_. Every single thing I've done today has been for his sake, why in the world does it suddenly matter that he's thinking of me now? "N...No..."

"Axel, let's go home." He grabs my arm and tries to yank me off the bench.

"R-Rox...as..." Just trying to stand up is hard. I can't even walk upright, I am _so - friggin' - cold_.

I can barely even tell where we're going, but eventually my poor five-year-old brother manages to shove me into one of the stores across the street from the park. I have no idea which one it is for a while, until I've stopped being cold and am now in _pain_, sitting here on the floor with my face and my fingers and toes tingling so fiercely that it feels like they're on fire.

Then I look up and realize that we're in a cafe. Roxas is trotting purposefully toward me, carrying a drink that's sending wisps of steam into the air. A couple of people in kitchen uniforms are hurrying after him and yelling.

"Flaming p- Did you just do what I think you did?!"

Roxas reaches me and holds out his loot, which smells enticingly of hot chocolate. "Drink it quick, before the cooks catch us," he orders.

I'm too much of a wreck to burst into laughter the way I did back at the mall, but I do keel over on the floor and just...am helpless for a while. This kid _cracks me up_. Someday he's also going to kill me. It hurts to laugh.

Roxas puts the hot chocolate on the floor by my face and starts to crouch down beside me, but then the kitchen staff catch up to him. One grabs him by the arm and yanks him around to face her so she can yell at him. "What do you think you're _doing_?!"

"My brother's sick. He needs chocolate."

"Wait," I gasp, trying to stop dying of hilarity and straighten up. "Wait, he didn't mean it, you can take the chocolate back and we'll leave-"

"What's wrong with you?" the other one asks suspiciously, staring at me.

"I'm...not so good with cold weather..."

"Our coats got all wet so we can't wear them because it's cold," Roxas explains. "Axel bought me a new shirt, see?"

They stare at his shirt blankly.

I struggle to my feet and reach out for him. "Hey, I apologize a lot, I'm really sorry about everything. We'll leave now."

"He just _waltzed into the kitchen_ and grabbed that mug right off the counter!" the lady storms at me.

"Um...he's impulsive..."

"I'll pay for it," Roxas offers.

Uh, with what, kiddo? "I can wash dishes or something if you want..."

"Regina, just let it go," the guy says to his co-worker. "The kid didn't even drink it."

"He can't just BARGE INTO THE KITCHEN and _steal stuff_!"

Roxas looks at me, his face pale. "I messed up again..."

"Look," I said. "I would _pay_ for the freaking chocolate, if I had any money. If you want this gift card, I'd be glad to hand it over." I don't mention that it only has (almost) enough value left to buy a pair of socks. "If you want me to wash dishes or something, awesome, I bet your kitchen's warm. Or I can come back later with some money and pay you for real. But my brother is only _five_, and you're holding him pretty tightly, and I kind of need you to let go of him before I...lose my patience." To put it mildly.

The guy sighs a little. "Regina, _here_." He pulls out his wallet. "What is it, four ninety-nine? Just let the kid go, you're making yourself look bad."

She glares and shoves Roxas at me. "I don't want to see either of you even _near_ this place again, you hear me?"

I scoop him up, trying to breathe deeply. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven," Roxas whispers helpfully in my ear.

"Thanks, chica," I tell Ms. Uptight. Then I wink and give her a fake phone number and march out the door before she can explode on me.

"I'm not very good at being a brother," Roxas sighs once we're out in the cold again.

I squeeze my arms tighter around him. "You're an _awesome_ brother. If someone told me I could trade you for any other little brother in the world, I'd tell 'im to go jump in a lake."

"I wouldn't trade you, either."

I grin, trying not to shiver. It's so, so, so, _so cold_... "Glad we got that cleared up."

As soon as we get home, I change into the warmest clothes I can find and bury myself in piles of blankets on my bed. My feet feel like blocks of ice, and my ears feel like they're about to fall off. So _cold_...I mean, now it's warm, but it _hurts_ after being so cold...

After a while, Roxas comes in and digs through the blankets until he finds my face. "Hi, Axel."

"Hey, Rox."

"I brought you some ice cream to make you feel better."

I can't decide whether to groan or laugh or cry. "Ummmm...hey, Rox...can you maybe eat my ice cream for me? Please? As a huge favor?"

"Oh...okay." He climbs up to sit on the bed beside me and starts eating. "Do you feel better now, Axel?" he finally asks.

"Yeah, I'm warming up."

"Hey, Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I give you something?"

"Sure, I guess."

He slips an ice cream stick into the blankets, nearly poking me in the eye. "You can have that one."

It's got the word WINNER printed on it.

"Because you always let me have them, and it's not fair. And because you're a winner, too."

I have a really hard time trying not to cry. This kid...so worth it. Everything is just...totally and completely worth it. "Hey...thanks, Rox. You're a winner, too."

"Yeah, I know," he says nonchalantly, starting on the second ice cream.

I laugh, which thankfully makes me stop wanting to cry. "Man, do you ever get cold at _all_?"

"Yeah."

"Wish I had your tolerance for it..."

"Don't be confusing."

"It means that I get a lot colder a lot faster than you do."

"So when it's summer, am I gonna be rolling around on the ground dying?"

"Uh, hopefully not."

"Boo. Then you can't give me chocolate."

"Roxas, you don't have to collapse from heatstroke for me to give you chocolate."

"So can I have some chocolate?"

"You're already eating ice cream!"

"So you're not gonna give me chocolate..."

"Are you mad at me now?" I tease.

"No."

"Good."

"Yeah."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I _swear_ I wasn't going to do an Axel/Roxas Day fic, and I didn't even have any ideas for it. But when I was typing up stuff from one of my notebooks this evening, I found a note for a scene in an unpublished story that I'd forgotten to include. However, that scene already ended perfectly and didn't need the note, but that note was kind of cute and I didn't want to lose it, and then suddenly I thought, "Today is Axel/Roxas Day. This is my Axel/Roxas Day drabble." Except, because the characters I write WILL NOT SHUT UP, it ended up being a bit longer than a drabble and I had some trouble figuring out where to end it, but whatever. Hopefully this story both makes enough sense out of context and doesn't spoil things in the original fic whenever I actually do manage to get it posted...


	13. Different Wings, Same Flight: Jasmine

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Different Wings, Same Flight (rough draft)**

Summary: Saïx's summer houseguest has no problem sharing him with his siblings.

A/N: Narrated by Jasmine. Takes place during summer vacation after Saïx & Axel's first year of college (in other words, a year before _Fourth of July_; shortly before Saïx & Jasmine start dating).

o.o.o

I was used to waking up in Saïx's room now, the strange slant of the sunlight through the window no longer startling me. His bookshelf, the calendar he'd forgotten to change since May when I'd claimed his room, the pony I liked to keep on his bedside table now that he'd given up hiding it from me... Compared to my own room, decorated by professionals and kept spotless by the maids, with all my personal things stored out of sight, this place already seemed more like home to me.

"Good morning, Moonwolf." She - he, sorry; Xion insists that it's male - continued smiling its sparkling pony smile at me. I got out of bed and remembered to make it this time, smoothing the blue coverlet over flowered sheets that I'm sure had never once touched this bed before my arrival. I debated whether to get dressed or not, then decided against it. This was summer vacation, and apparently most people slept half the day and then wandered around in their nightclothes for much of the rest of it. I wanted to be normal for once.

As I passed through the living room to get to the kitchen, I found the children watching cartoons as they ate cereal, according to their weekly custom. "Good morning, loves," I said, stooping to kiss them.

"Hi," Roxas replied, absently rubbing my kiss off his cheek and never taking his eyes away from the television screen.

"Morning, Jasmine," Xion said, putting her bowl down so she could hug me.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah. Saïx is in the kitchen."

I laughed at her automatic...and correct...assumption. "I can tell. What's he making?"

"French toast. I asked him to put chocolate chips on mine - you should, too."

"All right."

I forgot to even say anything for a little while, though. Saïx is so beautiful sometimes... Already dressed in a shirt that clung to him in soft, teasing folds, his hands moving with such surety, the morning sunlight playing through his hair until it seemed to glow... I'm not sure how long I stood there watching him before he finally noticed me and stopped humming.

"Oh- Good morning." _embarrassment pleasure shyness discomfort pleasure_ Silly thing, he sings beautifully.

"Good morning, Saïx." I went to hug him, resting my head against his shoulder. He hesitated a moment, then laid his arm around my waist.

"...Are you hungry?"

"Xion tells me you're making them with chocolate chips," I said, watching a faint bit of color creeping into his cheeks.

"If you like."

"Yes, I would like. And then I would like you to eat with me, so I'll wait for you to make your own."

"No need for that..."

"Pleeeeaaaase?"

"Don't beg, it's demeaning."

"So is that a yes or a no?"

"They'll get cold if you wait too long to eat them," he grumbled.

"You can eat the cold ones, and I'll take the fresher ones," I teased.

"That would be suitable."

"I was _joking_!"

"Hm..."

I looked over at his father, who was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a newspaper, watching us rather than drinking or reading. "Good morning," I said.

"Good morning, Jasmine." There aren't usually feelings in his eyes like there are in Saïx's, but I managed to catch faint wisps of _satisfaction_ and _relief_. He's such an odd man, though endearing in some ways just like his son is.

One of the less endearing things about him, at this particular moment, was that he was wearing a business suit. "Are you going to work again?" I exclaimed in dismay.

His eyes widened a little. "Yes."

"You promised you wouldn't!" It was _Saturday_, for heaven's sake, and not the first one he'd worked through.

I could feel Saïx's own surprise as he looked at me, even though I was turned away from him.

"Oh. Yes. Unfortunately, it couldn't be avoided. However, I need not be there as early as usual." Which was why he hadn't left before any of us had woken up, I suppose.

"Oooh..." I went to put my arms around his shoulders, and a bit of his surprise even managed to creep into his eyes, which are so often empty. "Come back early, all right?"

"I fail to see why you are so invested in this matter, young lady." This disapproval in his voice was, I think, more toward the fact that I was neglecting his son in favor of him, rather than actually caring what I thought about his work habits. Even taking the matchmaking into account, he's such a strange man... Well, Saïx is, too, but in different ways. They really seem to take after each other.

"Maybe _I'm_ not invested, but your children are." My father, busy as he is, still manages to make time for me as often as he can. Most of my friends aren't that lucky. "Xion misses you when you're gone, you know."

He made a noncommittal sound.

"Here." I went back to the living room. "Xion, are you finished eating? Why don't you take your bowl to the sink."

"Okay," she said reluctantly, still staring at the television.

"Your father's lonely. He needs you to keep him company."

Her eyes snapped to meet mine. Then she grinned and stood up. "Come on, Roxas," she said.

"No."

I set my fingers against his waist threateningly, so that he shrieked and gripped my arms. "At the next commercial break," I warned. "Or I'll tickle you to death."

"Nooo!"

"And then I'll squash your hair."

"No! Fine! All right! You're mean!"

"Speaking of which..." I fetched a comb and then pulled the silly boy upright so I could work on taming those ridiculous spikes of his.

"Leave me alone," he complained, though his attempts to resist me were half-hearted.

When we got to the kitchen, Xion was sitting in her father's lap, reading the comics section of the newspaper to him as he looked longsuffering. "_See if your mom has any curlers for the back!_" she finished, then laughed. "Roxas's hair is a lot worse than that."

"No, it's not," he protested beside me.

Everyone looked over at him. "Oh, you combed it," Xion realized.

"Jasmine did," Roxas said proudly.

"Did she," Saïx murmured. That's all he said, and he wasn't even looking directly at me, but what I saw in his eyes made me feel warm.

"Oh, _now_ you appreciate it," I teased, patting Roxas's shoulder.

"What are you reading?" He went over to climb up next to his sister, making their father sigh.

"_Calvin and Hobbes_."

"Which is not what _I_ was reading," Mr. Acerbi said pointedly.

"That's okay," Roxas said, "this is better. My turn, Xion."

"Okay. Read _Garfield_."

"Okay. _'Dear Ask A Dog'..._"

Mr. Acerbi eventually managed to bundle them out of his lap, and went to put his dirty dishes by the sink. Saïx and I were eating our French toast as the children continued to read comics aloud.

"Saïx," his father said, stopping near us. "What are your plans for today?"

"I'm...not sure yet," Saïx said cautiously.

"Aren't you going to take Jasmine somewhere?"

_surprise suspicion unhappiness_ "I hadn't planned to."

"Correct this lack of foresight on your part."

"..."

"What if I don't want to go anywhere?" I suggested, trying not to be irritated.

They both looked at me blankly - or as blankly as Saïx could get, anyway.

"I want to go to the pool!" Xion chirped.

"Let's go to Laser Quest," Roxas decided.

"You two aren't going," Mr. Acerbi said. "Sometimes young men and women need to have some time alone."

"Why?" Roxas asked.

"What if I want them to come?" I said pointedly.

He shut his eyes in a giving-up sort of way. "Just don't let your guest be bored, Saïx," he sighed, and went to get his briefcase.

"BYE DADDYYYYY!" Xion shrieked, lunging after him.

"YOU NEED YOUR GOOD-BYE HUG," Roxas shouted, right on her heels.

As Mr. Acerbi was being very energetically embraced, I looked over at Saïx and smiled. "He's not very subtle, is he."

"You don't have to do what he wants," Saïx muttered, poking at his French toast with the fork.

"I'm used to being set up with handsome rich boys - I don't mind so much this time, seeing as how I like the boy in question and have actually," I couldn't help chuckling ruefully, "met him." His eyes were priceless. I know what Axel means about him being 'fun.' "Studied for tests with him, played games with his little sister and brother, slept in his bed..."

"You seem to enjoy being 'set up' with me," he said a little resentfully, finally seeming to remember that he could actually eat his food instead of picking at it.

"Do you hate the thought of being set up with _me_?"

"I didn't say that," he tried to say with his mouth full.

It's a little difficult sometimes, seeing all the things in his eyes but not always sure _why_ they're there. I watched him for a while until I decided that it wasn't me he was upset with. "Take me somewhere nice today, Saïx."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Hm...the library?" I meant it as a joke, but I didn't have the heart to say that after the way he lit up...

"Axel and the other two will never stand for being left behind."

"We'll just have to bring them along, then."

"That's even worse..."

Roxas and Xion came bounding in again. "Saïx, we're bored."

"Let's play a game!"

"Jasmine and I are eating."

"Aw, pleeeeaaaase?"

"Go wake up Axel if you want to play."

"But then you're just gonna make him eat breakfast, too!"

"In that case, go watch your cartoons while you wait."

"We already did that!"

"Then find something else to do and leave me alone, I'm trying to keep our guest company."

"We can keep Jasmine company, too!"

"Jasmine, do you want to play a game?"

I laughed. "What do you want to play?"

"Tag!"

"Hide and seek!"

"Find a board game," Saïx ordered.

"Not Candy Land," Roxas said immediately.

"But Monopoly's too hard," Xion reminded him.

"Let's do the Hungry Hippo one."

"NO," Saïx said immediately.

"Maybe a card game?" I offered. "You two like Slapjack, don't you?"

"Yeah!"

"Heh."

Saïx rested his face against his palm.

By the time we had tormented Saïx to his limit with Slapjack and Spoons, then moved on to the more sedate Go Fish, their mother finally came shuffling into the kitchen, throwing herself into a chair and burying her face in her arms with a tired groan. "I hate mornings..."

"It won't be morning soon," Xion said soothingly, hugging her.

"Mom, move your head, I can't see Jasmine's cards," Roxas said.

"You're not _supposed_ to be able to see other people's cards," Saïx snapped as he headed back to the stove, and I noticed his mother flinch a little.

"Good morning, Mrs. Acerbi," I said.

She lifted her head again, propping it against one hand. "Hi, Jasmine. Where are you guys going today...?"

"The library."

"Laser Quest," Roxas corrected.

"Then we're going to the pool," Xion finished.

"So you'll be gone all day, then." She looked at Roxas. "Come here and give me a hug, precious."

"Don't peek at my cards." He set them facedown on the table and then went to let her wrap her arms around him.

"What happened to your hair?" she cooed, running her fingers through it.

"Jasmine combed it. It hurt."

"Only because you allow it to get far too tangled between groomings," Saïx said, working to make another batch of French toast.

"Hmm." She fluffed his hair out a bit more. "It looks nice this way."

"Mom, when is Axel getting up?"

"How should I know?"

"Xion, let's go wake him up."

The two of them hurried off to the back of the house, and Mrs. Acerbi tiredly rubbed her eyes. "I want Xem back..."

Saïx came and set a plate down on the table, carefully pushing it in front of her so that he never actually entered her field of vision. Then he moved past her to sit next to me. I poured more juice for him, and he sipped it without comment, except for a belated, "Thank you."

"You're welcome, Saïx. I appreciate everything you do," I told him, trying not to glance at his mother.

"Oh..." _discomfort pleasure embarrassment_

"This is really good," his mother said in a slightly awkward, deliberate way.

I leaned back against Saïx and knocked my foot against Mrs. Acerbi's as casually as I could, as if it was an accident, so that she glanced up and could see me smiling at her. "It's nice not having to cook whenever someone who's so good at it does it for you."

"I said it tasted good," she repeated sullenly, turning her face away again and continuing to eat.

Saïx put an arm around my waist and squeezed a little - I knew he meant it as a warning to stop trying, but I really liked the feel of him holding me. I put my arms over his so that he couldn't let go.

At the central library later on, Roxas and Xion made a beeline for the escalators as soon as we walked in. "Race you to the top!"

"No fair, slow _down_!"

"Axel," Saïx growled.

"Yo!" Axel called after the children, though he sounded more amused than concerned. "No running in the library, sillies!"

"No shouting in the library, either," Saïx said pointedly.

Axel knocked a fist against his shoulder with a grin. "Have fun. Text me when you're done, we'll meet in the kids' section. You comin', Jaz?"

I smiled and took Saïx's hand. "No." Saïx looked at me, then down at our clasped hands.

Axel winked and turned away, breaking into a run when he realized that his younger brother was hanging over the side of the escalator and about to knock his head against the underside of the opposite one. "Roxas! Look out for that-!"

"_Ow_!"

"I told you you'd be in trouble," Xion said self-righteously.

Saïx sighed.

"Oh, you know they're cute," I laughed.

"I see nothing cute about foolish behavior that ends with one or both of them getting hurt."

"He's all right, see? Come on, help me find that book Belle was telling us about a few weeks ago."

I already pretty much knew my way around libraries by now, but pretending I still didn't understand gave more excuses for him to talk to me. "So once you know the author's last name and where the fiction section is, it's an easy enough matter to locate the title you're looking for."

I looked up at the shelf where my book was sitting. "It's so high...do you think you could reach it for me, Saïx?"

"Of course."

Since he was focused elsewhere for a minute, I moved closer and smiled a little at his surprise when his attention returned to me.

"...Here's your book."

"Thank you, Saïx."

There was a pause, then he cleared his throat and moved away. "Let me...just see if these volumes I need are where they're supposed to be..."

When we went upstairs to the children's section, we found Axel sitting on a chair he barely fit on, reading a book out loud and being stared at by passersby. Xion was sitting close to him on one side, and Roxas was perched rather dangerously on the shelf behind the chair, reading over his brother's shoulder. "_By daybreak_," Axel said dramatically, "_the baby bat could hold on no longer. Down, down again she dropped. Flump!_"

Roxas suddenly toppled over practically into his sister's lap, yelling, "Yaaaahhhh!"

"Ack!" Xion exclaimed.

"_Stellaluna landed headfirst in a soft downy nest_," Axel went on, "_startling the three baby birds who lived there._"

"Hey, _you're_ not a bird!" Xion said indignantly.

"I'm a bat, dummy."

"Ohhhh, I see. Would you like a cookie?"

"Yup."

Xion handed him an imaginary cookie, which he pretended to gnaw on.

"_Stellaluna quickly clambered from the nest and hung out of sight below it_..."

They playacted the entire book rather noisily - I'm pretty sure the librarians who kept passing by would have stopped them if they'd realized that Saïx was actually glaring at his siblings, not at them.

"_Stellaluna still liked to sleep hanging by her feet. Once, when Mama was away, the curious baby birds decided to try it, too._"

Xion saw us watching, and ran over to us. "Mama!"

"_What_?" Saïx exclaimed.

"Pick me up!"

"Xion, you're too-"

She seized his hands and immediately keeled over backwards with her head thrown back - he stumbled and barely managed to stay on his feet. "Xion, _stop_ it." He couldn't let go if he didn't want her to hit her head on the floor, and she was too big to be picked up.

"See, Stellaroxas? I'm upside-down, too."

Roxas grinned from where he was now sitting on the floor, head similarly thrown back as he gripped the strained but still amused-looking Axel's arm. "Told you."

"_When Mama Bird came home she saw eight tiny feet gripping the edge of the nest_."

"Xion, stand up properly or I _will_ drop you," Saïx threatened.

"_The birds clambered back into the nest_," Axel continued without missing a beat, as if Saïx's dialogue had been an intentional part of the story.

"I think that makes you Mama Bird," I whispered to Saïx, whose eyes flashed with incredulity and exasperation.

"_'You are teaching my children to do bad things. I will not let you back into this nest unless you promise to obey all the rules of this house.'_"

Xion gasped and heaved herself back to her feet, throwing her arms around her brother. "I promise I'll be good, Mama Bird! Don't kick me out!"

"I changed my mind, I'm going to go look for Volume VI after all," Saïx growled, so I threw my own arms around him, too.

"No, Mama Bird, don't leave," I begged, causing him to stare at me. "Your hatchlings need you _so_ very badly."

"...Jasmine, you, too?" he said helplessly. I had a very hard time trying not to giggle.

By the time we got to the end, Saïx had given up and was now standing near his brothers, woodenly not resisting as the children tried to make him play along.

"_'Hey!'_" Axel cried, meeting his younger siblings' eyes directly as he dropped his head back and entered the story itself, "_'Why are you hanging upside down?'_"

"I'm not upside down, _you_ are," Roxas insisted gleefully.

"You're a bat, silly," Axel said affectionately, reaching to ruffle his hair. "We're the same kind, you and me. Get it memorized."

"Um...I don't know the words, though. This is the part where Stellaluna finds her mom."

"Come on, Stellaluna's mom," Xion prompted me, so I went over to hug Roxas.

"Are you my baby?" I asked playfully.

"Yup, I guess so." He leaned back against me. "So now I have my mom and my bat brother and my bird sister and my bird mom. We're all family now."

"We get to eat fruit next," Xion said gleefully.

"Hmm," Axel mused, "we don't have any fruit, but how does ice cream sound?"

"YEAH!" the children shouted together.

"This is a _library_," Saïx stormed.

"Hush, loves," I told them, and they giggled as they pretended to zip their lips.

Axel handed the book to his brother. "We'll go get ice cream as soon as Mama Bird finishes the story, okay?"

"'McDoomgaze' was preferable," Saïx grumbled under his breath, sighing heavily as he turned to the last page. "_'How can we be so different and feel so much alike?' mused Flitter. 'And how can we feel so different and be so much alike?' wondered Pip. 'I think this is quite a mystery,' Flap chirped. 'I agree,' said Stellaluna. 'But we're friends. And that's a fact.'_ That is also the end, and I am never taking you three to a library ever again."

"Yay!"

"Awesome."

"We're going to Laser Quest next time."

I laughed again. "They got you there, Saïx."

"It was not my idea to bring them."

"Next time," Axel said suggestively, "we should let Sai and Jaz go off together alone~~."

"Why?" Roxas wondered.

"Axel," Saïx growled.

"Okay," Xion agreed. "But let us still have him sometimes, okay, Jasmine?"

"Of course," I said, leaning over to kiss the top of her head.

Saïx did not look happy to be under such discussion. "What do you all think you're talking about?" he said almost threateningly.

"I don't know," Roxas pouted, grabbing his hand and starting to drag him to the escalators. "Let's just go get ice cream now, okay?"

"Yeah, the poor librarians have suffered enough," Axel agreed, taking Xion's other hand even as she was grasping mine. I smiled, and reached out for Saïx to complete the connection. Silly as we all now looked together, he didn't seem to mind.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: LOL, Saïx is not a brony, and I doubt he'll ever become one, but he has sentimental reasons for not chucking Moonwolf in the trash. ;)

Gah, I keep forgetting to include the pets! *adds to Things To Fix In Final Drafts list*

...I can't tell how creepy Xem is coming off in this one, this series is so hard to be objective about...it has to do with the Subplot of Narm that I'm trying to see if I can get away with never clarifying. *wince*

This week was a huge fail as far as my writing productivity - I'll try to do better in the future. Before that, though, I've decided that Monday is going to be Answer E-mail Day, because I really need to reply to all your wonderful messages! :D Then after that I will set a Read Fanfics Day. XD Then, hopefully, I can get back to writing those high-priority fics.

There are a couple of very different reasons why I wrote this story...that's all I'll say, though. I just really wanted to try out some AkuSaiJazRokuShi Stepsiblings stuff. X3  
>Ftr, even though I decided that that's my OT5 now, it hasn't actually replaced the OT4 in my affections - it's just really new, so I'm still playing with it. :) And a big thanks to Mirae-no-sekai~! The way she included SaiJaz in an AkuSaiRokuShi fic (<em>Nighttime Sortie<em>) was very inspiring. X3

Credits

_Calvin and Hobbes_ by Bill Watterson (I found the comic here: [LOL it was AkuRoku Day 2012 XD XD XD])

_Garfield_ by Jim Davis (I found the comic here: [I know these URLs aren't going to show up on FFN, but they will on MMO and DA])

_Stellaluna_ by Janell Cannon


	14. Useful Ability: Saix

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Useful Ability (rough draft)**

Summary: A doomgaze is a handy thing to have for this job.

A/N: Not sure how old Saix is here, but he's graduated from college and has mastered the Speech by now.

o.o.o

Miranda has an inexplicable fondness for my class, and I suppose myself as well, which is why she nearly always comes straight here after eating even though it's usually still my conference period.

I looked up when I heard the door creak open, and watched her shyly peek her head inside.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Miranda."

Grinning broadly, she came inside and stood before me, rocking slightly from foot to foot. Her hair was quite untidy and she had some stains on the shoulder of her white uniform, but I did not mind much. She can be challenging to work with at times, but she is by far the most good-natured and eager-to-please of my students, which I do not take for granted.

"Are you busy?"

"A little." I didn't want to lie, but I did not want to make her feel unwelcome, either.

"...Oh." She hasn't realized yet that I'm _always_ busy... "Did you have a good lunch?" she asked, as usual.

"Yes, I did. Thank you for asking," I replied, also as usual.

She smiled again. "So did I!"

"What did you eat?" I asked obligingly.

"Enchiladas," she said proudly. "And Jell-o, the red kind. It was good!"

"I am glad to hear that."

After an awkward pause, she shuffled to the side to set her things down on her desk, which was in the corner of the room close to mine. I did not return to work, since there was more left to this ritual. Sure enough, she suddenly jerked her head up and asked apprehensively, "Hug?"

"Just one, Miranda," I said, standing up.

Beaming again, she came and wrapped her arms around me. I held her for a moment. When she tightened her grip and started playfully jerking at me, I set my hands on her shoulders and pushed her back. "All right, Miranda. Finished."

"Hi, Mr. Acerbi."

"Hello, Miranda."

"You had a good lunch?"

"Yes."

She smiled at me.

"Why don't you sit down and wait for the bell to ring," I finally suggested.

"Okay."

"Do you have your assignment from last time?"

She looked at me.

"The anecdote." I was having my classes practice college application essays, but I have to modify assignments for Miranda and the other special needs students. "Writing about a meaningful experience. You are supposed to turn it in today."

"The paper?"

"Look for it, Miranda."

Her expression was dubious, which was not encouraging, but she obediently opened her binder and started rummaging through the papers inside it.

The bell rang a few moments later, and I went out for hall duty as students started transitioning between classes and heading to or from lunch. I will never understand why they have to be so _noisy_ as they do so, since walking is not a verbal activity, and there is absolutely no reason why anything should be airborne.

As my students entered the room, some stalked past me as if I didn't exist; others came in chattering with their friends, also behaving as if I didn't exist; still others greeted me, usually at an excessive volume.

"Yo, teach."

"We doing anything today?"

"No, Carlos, you simply come to school to do nothing and waste your parents' tax dollars," I said coldly, Speaking _"Get in the classroom and prepare to work"_ as I did so.

"Hey, he mind-read me!" Carlos called triumphantly to the class in general.

"'Sup, Acerbiiii!"

"Hey, lemme go to the restroom real quick, it's just right there!"

"You are given plenty of time to take care of such business during the passing period; if you are not seated in my class by the time the bell rings, you will be marked tardy."

"Awwww!"

I have been telling them things of this sort EVER SINCE THE SCHOOL YEAR STARTED, they should KNOW THIS BY NOW. Unfathomable.

The bell soon rang and I swept back inside, swinging the door firmly shut as I did so. "Class has STARTED, Jessica and Eugene your Warm-ups should be _on your desks in progress_, Orlando if that gum is not in the trash can by the end of roll call you _will_ be going straight to the vice-principal's office-"

"I found it, Mr. Acerbi!" Miranda cried joyfully, running up to me waving (what I hoped was) her anecdote in one hand.

"Sit down, Miranda."

"This...?"

"Thank you for finding it, Miranda, but please sit down and work on your Warm-up right now until I finish roll." I had to nudge her with the Speech before she reluctantly returned to her seat, eyes fixed urgently on me. The instructional assistant, Mrs. Ramsey, slipped in as I was taking attendance, and I tried to ignore the sound of Miranda whispering passionately to her.

"...And Joshua, you're here," I eventually finished, marking off his name. I looked over at the side of the classroom. "Orlando, V.P., now."

"I didn't do nothin'!"

Having no patience for this sort of thing, I Spoke _"YOU ARE IN TROUBLE,"_ and he immediately got up to take the pass I handed him and headed for the door with his head hanging - though I noticed that he did not dispose of his rule violation on the way out.

I went over the Warm-up answer with them as quickly as possible and then continued, "All right. Put those away, essay drafts out, they are due at the end of the period. I will be walking around to assist where needed; are there any questions?"

As soon as I stopped by Miranda's desk, she burst out at me, "I found it! I found it, Mr. Acerbi, I finished!"

"Don't wave it around like that," I said, failing to catch hold of it. She smiled and pressed the paper against my stomach, finally allowing me to grasp and read it.

_catnis has a bou shes good at shooting she shot the bad guis. ther called the hunger games. if you eat the poyzon berrys you die, a lot of peepul die its sad. the litul girl her name is roo catnis sang the song to her and they were mad. I want to be like catnis. this is a good story. but the bad man dident die. mom says thers going to be another movie. I like this movie but it has a sad ending I hop ther's another wone and catnis is a good girl and brave shes pretty._

"...This is a very good extra credit piece," I finally decided, laying the paper aside. "Thank you, Miranda." How to do this... "Miranda."

"I did a good job?" she said hopefully.

"You did well at practicing your writing. Now, Miranda, I need you to listen carefully. Your assignment is to write an anecdote." I had told her several times this week, yet... "Do you know what an anecdote is?"

"Yes."

"What is an anecdote?"

She gazed at me as if hoping to find the answer in my expression.

"Miranda." She wasn't blinking. "_Miranda_." She twitched a little and re-focused on me. "Miranda, are you listening?"

"Yes, sir."

"Miranda, an anecdote is a story about something that happened to you. You need to write about an experience that had significant meaning to you."

Her face seemed so blank, tinged with a faint desire to please and nothing more, not a trace of comprehension. I wondered how she was hearing what I was trying to tell her. "Miranda."

"Mr. Acerbi, did you have a good day?"

"Miranda, I need you to listen."

"Did you have a good day?" she repeated, more urgent now.

"Yes, Miranda, I have been having a good day. Miranda, did you hear me explain to you what an anecdote is?"

She silently fiddled with the edge of one of her papers.

"Miranda," I said slowly, "did you have a good day?"

"Yes," she burst out, sounding relieved.

"Miranda, I would like to try something." I held her hands. "Look into my eyes." She did so trustingly, and I Spoke as gently and clearly as I could. _"An anecdote is a story about an experience that had meaning to you. I need you to write down an event that happened to you which you find to be important."_ She blinked, her eyes widening. _"This is your assignment. Take the pencil and write down a true story."_

"Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" she exclaimed, far too loudly.

I reached out to rest a hand on her head. "Do you know what to do now?"

"I'm gonna write a story!"

"An experience which was meaningful to you."

"I'm gonna write this for you, Mr. Acerbi!"

"You are writing it for a grade, Miranda. I want very much for you to learn this."

"I'm learning."

"You're very smart, Miranda."

She smiled. "Have a good day, Mr. Acerbi."

"Do your best, Miranda."

As I moved throughout the classroom, I noticed from time to time that Miranda was writing furiously, with Mrs. Ramsey at her side offering the occasional instruction. When I was stooping over Flyn's desk, trying to explain to him that 'pyrotechnics' referred to fireworks and was not something one could earn a degree in at any schools I knew of, I was startled to be seized from behind in an enthusiastic embrace.

"Mr. Acerbi, I finished!"

"Give me just a moment, Miranda," I grunted, trying to pry her arms off of me.

_we went to brigtoun wonderland it was fun. mom and me and jason and ileana, we rod the bus ther and it was a long way but we played tik tak toe it was fun mom brout chips. the lady said I look pretty its becuz I had a new nekless, my brother rollie gave it to me he's geting marryed. the park is big we went to take pichurs thers big stachus ther like lions all gray mom said I can tam any lion Im strong like catnis. we went on the spining sasers mom got sick but it was fun, I dident get sick. we sat on a bench and wen she got beter we went and had ice cream and I got a winner stick. the lady said I can get free tokens becuz of my winner stick I played the game in the store I won a ber with a hart jason said it wasent fer but I gav it to ileana becuz shes litul and Im her big sister. we met baloo the ber he took a pichur with me, jason says hes just a guy playing dressup but its really baloo, I like him a lot. we peted the animals ther so cool my favrit is the gout it aet food in my hand. we saw a show were ther dansing the ladys relly pretty she let me com on stage and sing with her I was famus evryone claped for me Im going to be a singer wen I gro up. we saw the lit show its colors on the sky thats my favrit part. we had fun Im glad we went weer going to go after crismas mom said. mister Acerbi its a good plas you can com with us nex tim. I did a story that haped to me I did good._

"Excellent work, Miranda."

"I did good?"

"You did very well."

She cocked her head warily. "I did good?"

"You did good," I gave in, trying to reinforce the sentiment with the Speech so that she would stop asking.

She smiled.

"Right now, Miranda, your grade is 90% A."

"One hundred A plus," she said softly, looking at the grades I had written on the board for her sake.

"I would like you to earn a 100% A+ as well. You're almost there, Miranda; can you do it?"

"One hundred A plus."

"It is simply a matter of letting Mrs. Ramsey help you with the editing. Can you do this, Miranda?"

"I get a good grade."

"Right now, yes, you have a good grade. You will earn a top grade soon, just focus for a bit longer."

"...Did you have a good day?"

"First work, then one hundred A plus."

"One hundred A plus."

"First work."

"I can work and get a hundred A plus?"

"Yes, Miranda, very good."

She smiled. "I'm doing good."

"Yes. Mrs. Ramsey, will you please go over the spelling and grammar with her? Miranda, I'll show you the grade at the end of class."

"One hundred A plus."

"Yes. Keep going, Miranda, you're almost done. Mrs. Ramsey will help you."

Once the assignment was correctly spelled and as coherent as it was ever going to get, I took a red marker and wrote "100% A+" at the top of paper as Miranda watched, which seemed to please her. Then, feeling ridiculous pulling sparkling fantasy stickers out of my desk but determined to trust Xion's...feminine instincts, I offered Miranda her choice of them.

To my relief, her eyes lit up. "The stickers?"

"Choose one, Miranda."

"One for me?"

"Pick whichever you like."

"A unicorn?"

I peeled it off and handed it to her.

"It's pretty!"

"Put it on your work, Miranda. You've earned it."

"For me?"

I helped her place the sticker on her paper, which she then held close to her face to admire during the remaining few minutes of class.

"I'm proud of you, Miranda."

"It's a unicorn," she said happily, touching it with gentle fingers.

The bell soon rang and I went to take my place at the door, jostled by students exiting the room. I was a little startled when Miranda came after them and wrapped her free arm tightly around me. "I love you, Mr. Acerbi!"

"Er...I'm rather fond of you, too, Miranda."

"Have a good day, Mr. Acerbi!"

"Have a good day, Miranda." I released a quiet sigh of relief as I watched her move down the hall. Challenging sometimes, yes, but the times I _can_ get through to her, to any of them - it's what keeps me going, and I find that I truly do love it.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: The Speech is more a form of communication than it is anything else.

Saix has high standards... XD I have to tweak Miranda's writing in the final draft; I think Mrs. Ramsey should be more familiar with Sai by now and helped with more of the initial spelling, instead of just the few words Miranda asked about.

**Miranda is a random OC; her personality/behavior was not based on anyone specific, and her name was just the first one that came to mind.**

In my local schools, they've started integrating more of their special ed students into general ed classes rather than keeping them all separate. So, like, a teacher will have a classroom with however many general ed students and however many special ed students, and there will be an instructional assistant or co-teacher in the room for extra support.

**There's a fic I started back in, like, February, which addresses the special ed thing in a lot more detail. If you're involved with special ed in any way, such as having a sibling with special needs or a parent who teaches in a special ed classroom or something, um...just a heads-up, I guess? I really hope I don't offend anybody whenever I'm able to finish and post that fic. ._.**

**And PLEASE don't be offended by this fic, either - I **_**know**_** it's not easy, you can't just look into their eyes and magically transfer comprehension, but I didn't write this as any sort of commentary, I wrote it because it was practically writing itself in my head and I thought it would be interesting to see how StepsibsSaix would interact with a special needs student. :/**

Again, I feel like my stuff has been less than brilliant these days, but if I don't write the ideas that come to me, they keep bugging me until I do write them, so... *sigh* Usually I try to distract you with large updates so the lower quality stuff gets lost in the shuffle, but people seem to be favoring "more frequent yet smaller updates" in the poll so far, so I might try this for a while. _Might_.


	15. Day 26 - Getting married

**A Kingdom Hearts fanwork: 30 Day OTP Challenge by Ericandy, written by Raberba girl**

**Day 26 - Getting married**

Summary: Unfortunately, Xion's cousin will not go down without a fight...

A/N: Third person POV. This drabble's one of the few unhappy ones.

o.o.o

Just like at a similar event fifteen years earlier, Axel found his missing sibling sitting alone in a dark dressing room, though much more quickly this time. _'Like brother, like sister,'_ he thought wryly. _'You really do rub off on her, Sai.'_

"Xi," he said aloud, snapping on the light as he came inside. "In case you didn't know, people tend to notice pretty quickly when brides disappear from their own wedding receptions."

"In case you didn't know, Axel," she returned dully, "_most_ brides tend to enjoy their own wedding receptions."

He eyed the glass in her hand. "What's that?"

"It's my party. I can drink if I want to." She set the rim against her lips and tipped her head back to swallow.

"Xion, you don't drink," he said firmly, plucking the glass out of her hand.

"_Give_ it back!" she snarled, lunging at him. "_You_ drink all the time! _I_ get to drink when my wedding day gets ruined!"

"Trust me," he said, fending her off with one arm as he set the glass on a high shelf. "It's not going to help."

"I hate you!" she screamed, then, "I hate him! I hate him! I HATE HIM!"

"I don't blame you," Axel grumbled, gritting his teeth as the image came back to mind. There was a commotion starting up in the hallway, but both of them ignored it.

"How could he _do_ this to me?" she wailed, dissolving into heartbroken sobs. "This is my wedding...this is my _wedding_...people are supposed to be _happy_ when they're getting married, but I can't even...I don't even..."

He was already holding her, gently stroking her hair as she clung to him. "It'll be okay, Xi. You heard what Riku said. He's dealing with it, but he needs your help. You have to get past this, too. Don't let that idiot ruin your life, he only has that power if you give it to him." _'Huh. Guess Sai's also rubbing off on _me_...'_

The door was shut behind them, and the commotion faded. They ignored that, too.

"He's not an idiot," she whispered. "He's...hurting...too. Like me. He's hurting so bad, I can _feel_ it."

"Xion," Saïx asserted, "he does not have any right to pass that pain on to you - particularly _today_, of all days."

"Yeah. You are way too freaking nice, Xi."

"That's okay," Roxas said, putting an arm protectively around his sister's shoulders. "She can be the nice one. We get to be the mean ones who punch the idiots in the face."

"Did you get him?" Axel asked.

"Sai did."

Axel raised an eyebrow at his golden-eyed brother, who sighed.

_"Don't ask,"_ Saïx Spoke, then stepped forward to lay a hand on Xion's head, doing his best to silently convey _peace love security_. The three of them enclosed her now, comforting her as she cried, until she was able to push the grief back again and return to her guests and her new husband with a smile on her face.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: All I'll say for now is that it's Van's fault. (Not Riku's, lol. He reacted as well as could possibly be expected.) I don't think I'll be able to bring myself to publish that, though, so I might make an AU version where stupid Van doesn't mess things up so badly. However, most if not all the other stories will reference the real version. :/


	16. Day 02 - Cuddling somewhere: Saïx

30 Day OTP Challenge

Challenge by Ericandy, written/drawn by Raberba girl

Introduction: So I found this cool challenge on DevArt for people's OTPs, and I couldn't resist, especially since it's 30 themes instead of 100. ^^ Since I've already taken on a different challenge for my OTP, I decided to do this one for my OT4, which is platonic AkuSaiRokuShi. :D Most of these entries (the written ones, at least) will take place in the _Stepsiblings_ universe because that's what I automatically associate my OT4 with, but I'll try to do at least a few that have different settings.

**Stepsiblings: Day ****02 - Cuddling somewhere**

**(rough draft)**

Summary: This Christmas Eve is not going to be spent in the closet.

A/N: Saïx's POV. Takes place a year after _Hoof Prints_.

**Review reply to Koko:** Dramatic irony. ;)

o.o.o

I hate them. I hate _him_. I hate him, hate him; he thinks he knows better but he DOESN'T and I hate that conceited smirk of his so much and those eyes always laughing at me and I'm not going to do it I _won't_ do it I'll go somewhere else I'll...just...

There's nowhere else to go, though. I can't stand the thought of Axel's family, with all their questions, they won't understand, those laughing eyes of theirs will turn on me. I could go stay somewhere on my own, but Father will find out, and he'll ask, and I _can't tell him_...

"You kids be good," Lea said, leaning down to kiss and cuddle the children. "Don't wreck the house while we're gone, okay?"

"We'll be good," they chorused.

Lea frowned at Axel. "We'd better not find any fire trucks parked outside when we get home."

"It's _fine_, I promise!" he yelped, as Father gave him a dubious look. "We'll have Sai with us, you know?" He clapped me on the back.

"I suppose so," Father murmured.

I didn't say anything.

"You'll come back tomorrow for presents?" Roxas asked.

"We'll be back bright and early tomorrow morning, precious," Lea cooed. As if she _could_ get up 'bright and early.'

"Do _not_ touch the gifts while we are gone," Father ordered.

"We won't~!"

And so on. Until I was finally standing on the porch, arms wrapped around myself, watching the car's tail lights disappear into the cold night. The hovering dread now seemed to fall upon me like snow.

"Sai! C'mon, it's freezing out here!"

"No..." I doubt he even heard me as he dragged me inside and slammed the door shut.

"Okay!" Axel faced the younger two, hands on hips, face alight with an evil grin. "We got the house _all to ourselves_ for Christmas Eve!"

"WHOOOOOOO!" Roxas and Xion yelled, leaping with excitement and pumping their fists in the air. As if this was a _game_. I hate them, too.

"First mission: SANTA-PROOF THE FIREPLACE."

What?

"YEEEEAAAAHHHHH!"

It is extraordinary how much noise two children can make, when they are working on a project they're excited about. I watched, not sure how to feel, as they dragged in all sorts of items, many of them of an alarming nature. I finally spoke up when Roxas began to stack wood on the grate.

"Roxas...you're not going to start an actual fire." It was meant as a question, but probably should have been more decisive than that.

"I know how," he said blithely, wadding up sheets of paper to shove underneath.

"I _know_ you know how." His skills at starting and tending fires had vastly improved since I'd first known him. Xion's had, too, which I suppose was a good thing even though I simultaneously wanted to throttle Axel for it. "But Father is not going to approve of you starting one when he's not here."

"He didn't tell us not to."

"It's for you, Saïx," Xion piped up. "When Santa smells the smoke, he won't come down the chimney and bother you, because he knows there'll be a fire, see?"

"Santa's not real," Roxas said, picking up the matches.

"I know. But he still won't come down if there's a fire."

"Yeah." Roxas struck the match. "And if he does, he'll get his butt burned, heh." He tried again, and the match head flared to life.

"This is a bad idea."

"Don't worry, Sai-Sai, we'll keep you safe."

"I don't _need_ your help." I just needed to be left alone.

...Still. I liked the idea of a fire roaring at the bottom of the chimney. I wouldn't stop them. I should, but I wouldn't. I would just have to make sure to hide the evidence from Father before tomorrow morning.

"Oi, Sai!" Axel leaned into the living room. "Don't just stand around, come help."

"What are you doing?" I asked, going over to him.

"Cookies, man!" The oven was on, and half a tube of store-bought cookie dough was sitting next to a half-full cookie sheet on the counter. "You finish those, I'm gonna start some popcorn."

I looked at the round unbaked cookies with Christmas trees dyed on them. "I don't like sweets." In general.

"Well, the kids do, and news flash, Sai, you're not the only one who lives here. Cut cookie dough."

I did so.

Although I was not overly fond of the taste of sweets, the scent was admittedly pleasant, and the kitchen soon filled with the aroma of cookies and popcorn as we worked. Axel turned the radio on to a classical station, which had to have been solely for my sake, though it didn't occur to me to thank him for it until twenty minutes later when it would have sounded awkward to mention. He chattered now and then about inanities I saw little point in responding to, and we could hear the children talking enthusiastically in the next room, as well.

"You doing okay, Sai?"

"Hmm?"

"You've been spacing out. Guess I know why. It'll be okay, you know? That's why we're doing this."

"I just want to finish my book and go to bed. It's _your_ fault I'm being dragged into this...this misplaced...whatever you think this is."

By the time we returned to the living room with cookies, popcorn, hot chocolate, and pie, I was a little startled to see the results of the children's handiwork. The fire was now crackling enthusiastically and the fireplace screen set up, but they had not stopped there. There was an assortment of kitchen knives dangling from strings tied to the stocking hooks, thumb tacks were spread all over the hearth, the screen was reinforced by walls of bricks salvaged from the renovation leftovers, several nooses (made of sheets or tied-together socks) were hanging or lying on the floor nearby, and the poker and various other long, sharp objects had been set strategically around the fortifications, their points facing the chimney.

When we entered, Roxas and Xion ran to us, armed almost head to foot with high-powered water guns and foam dart blasters, with their toy lightsabers clipped to their belts. As soon as we set down all the food, Roxas shoved two huge spiked Frisbees at Axel, and Xion gave me the baseball bat I'd received as an early Christmas present. Roxas continued to keep hold of Axel's own bat.

"We did it, Axel," Roxas said proudly. "No fatso's gonna get through _that_." He pointed at the fireplace.

"Awesome job, guys," Axel praised.

"If you see anyone scary, you can hit them with the bat," Xion told me, pointing at it. "And me and Roxas'll shoot 'em, and Axel can throw Frisbees at his head."

"I am not going to be hitting anybody with a baseball bat," I said, even though I could tell I was not going to be able to loosen my grip on it anytime soon.

"Good," Axel said, then added in a mutter, "since the only people around to hit are me and the kiddos, so..."

I went and tried to prop the bat in a corner. Except I couldn't take my hand off it. Could loosen my grip yes, but not pull my fingers completely out of contact with the weapon.

I stood there for a while, trying to force my own hand to obey me, until Axel finally took me by the shoulders and pulled me away, the tip of the bat trailing across the carpet as I dragged it along. He shoved me onto the sofa, where Xion hastily climbed into my lap and Roxas plopped down at my side.

"Get off."

"You're comfy," Xion said. "Here's a cookie, Saïx."

"I do not want a cookie." She put it in my mouth anyway, and since Roxas's body was pinning my right arm and Xion's head was blocking access to my face, I wasn't able to take the cookie away until I'd already swallowed a bite of it.

"First up," Axel announced, flinging himself onto the couch next to me with the remote in one hand, "_Babes in Toyland_! And Sai, I hope you appreciate this, since it was SUPER-HARD to find PG-rated Christmas movies not involving the S-word, ghosts, burglars, or black-and-white stuff the kids'd fall asleep during."

"Watch whatever you want, I just want to read a book in my...in my room..." My closet was _in_ my room. It wasn't a lie. That part of it, anyway.

"You read too many books," Roxas said. "Your brain's gonna turn to mush."

"Just because that's how reading makes _you_ feel doesn't mean I experience the same thing."

The only reason I could tolerate the movie was because I wasn't really watching it. I hated how Axel had the volume up so _loud_ - I couldn't hear anything other than the horrible movie, couldn't tell if there was anything moving outside or on the r...outside...couldn't...I couldn't hear. If anyone was coming. Someone could break in and sneak up on us and we _wouldn't know they were coming_ because the volume was too LOUD and I couldn't _hear_-

"You okay, Sai?"

"I'm fine," I snapped, turning back around. The hall behind us was empty. I realized belatedly that my knuckles ached a little because I was gripping the bat so hard.

"More cookies?" Xion asked in a worried tone, reaching for the last one on the plate.

"NO." I shoved her off and scrambled to my feet and finally managed to get rid of the bat, though only by throwing it. At the carpet, where there was nothing around to damage. "I _don't_ like cookies and I don't like this movie and I _don't like what you're doing and I_- ...I'm going to use the restroom." It was the only excuse I could think of.

"But this is the best part," Xion insisted.

I marched past them, ignoring the commotion behind me, and paused for a moment at the threshold of the hallway so I could listen. It was quieter here, especially with the movie paused. A rustle of trees outside, a creaking sound from the study...

Just as I was about to head for the stairs and my room, I happened to glance back, and saw Axel. He was standing between the kitchen and the living room, holding the empty popcorn bowl but just standing there, watching me.

"What?" I growled.

"...I'm making more popcorn, it'll be ready in five minutes. You'll be back by then, right?"

"It's none of your business."

"_You'll be back by then, ri_-?"

I swerved into the downstairs bathroom and slammed the door shut.

I had fully intended to escape when they weren't paying attention, but when I opened the door again - THEY WERE ALL STANDING THERE. WAITING FOR ME. "What are you _doing_?"

"Time to finish the movie, Sai-Sai!"

Stairs, five steps away, but no, Axel suddenly in front of me get _out_ of my way shoving him except he's not thrown off balance his hands on my shoulders eyes not laughing now his face grim as he takes hold of me you are _not making me go back there_.

I can't see. No, I can. But everything's gold, a haze of gold like I'm looking through colored lenses but it's hard to _see_, except it's started clearing up slowly and I realize that Axel's still there - he's had me pinned against the wall. Both of us breathing hard as if after a struggle, and I got a sudden, uneasy feeling that time had passed and I wasn't aware of it. "Axel..."

"Calm _down_," he growled, sounding out of breath. "You're scaring them."

I glanced over and saw Roxas and Xion standing very still at the edge of the living room, hands clasped tightly together, watching us intently.

"...Let me...go."

His voice was low and tense. "_Don't_ give up. Don't run off and hide. We're _here_, it'll be _fine_, but you have to-" He took a deep breath. "You have to trust us, Saïx."

Trust. I suddenly realized how very little I really trusted them. "Let me _go_." I finally managed to shove him away from me. I put my hand on the banister, stepped up, and up, away from them...

None of the second-floor lights were on. I stood for a while, staring up at the dark I was headed into, feeling my skin crawl. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I glanced back-

All three of them stood at the foot of the stairs now, gazing up at me, seeming to be surrounded by light. Axel's face was closed, like he was watching a disaster unfold in a movie, remote, untouchable. I didn't...like that. Seeing that. As if I'd passed beyond his reach.

"Saïx," Xion said softly. "You don't have to eat any cookies if you don't want to."

I couldn't help a hollow laugh. "As if that's even..." My foot touched the step below, a little unexpectedly.

There was a long pause, and then Roxas smiled. "On Christmas Eve, I get to be the big brother, okay? It's your turn aaaaallll year, but Christmas Eve is my turn. I'll do a good job, okay?"

Second step below. Apparently I was descending again. I didn't like that, going back on what I'd decided. But I could...live with it.

Could more than live with it. Axel's smile was small, more muted than usual; he didn't have that stranger's expression anymore. He wasn't laughing at me. "Decided not to be a loser after all, huh?"

"What I am 'losing' is the conclusion of my book, a proper night's sleep, and a fair amount of dignity by sitting through a children's movie made in the sixties, but I don't feel like quibbling over definitions at the moment..."

He laughed. "Come help me move the sofa. Roxas, more firewood!"

I helped Axel push the sofa against a wall that, with some adjusting, simultaneously gave us a fair view of the television, the fireplace, and the windows; and now there would be something solid at our backs. Roxas built up the fire until it was roaring again, and Xion brought the snacks over and then cuddled next to me as soon as I sat down. "We can do it, Sai-Sai. Just a few more movies left to go, then it will be morning and we'll be safe."

"Of course we'll be safe..." This was a phobia, not an actual threat. Roxas happily curled up on my other side, Axel put an arm around us both, then he hit the play button and we resumed our 'mission' in the area of the house I least wanted to occupy tonight. This time, I tried to focus on the movie rather than anything that might be happening outside, which was much easier when we finally switched to _The Nutcracker_.

"This movie's boring," Roxas complained soon after the battle with the Rat King had ended.

"Saïx likes it," Axel said. "Of course it's boring."

"I like the music." How could they not find this beautiful, or at least soothing?

"Xion," Roxas said, shooting her with a foam dart. "You're It."

They both immediately leaped up and began to chase each other around the house with their toy weapons, and I admit that it was easier to stop imagining unseen terrors in the night when I kept getting distracted by a couple of laughing, shrieking young people.

o.o.o

They were terrible 'bodyguards.' I found, however - with Roxas and Xion sleeping in a heap of blankets on the floor, and Axel dozing against my shoulder - that I did not mind too much... Three o'clock in the morning, and the house was quiet again. Just as quiet as I was used to on every other interminable Christmas Eve. But the fire was still glowing, every light downstairs was blazing, and here were my siblings, catering to my whims despite how incredibly unreasonable and...and abnormal this was...

They had ensured that I didn't have to face this alone. They had gone to quite a lot of effort to fight this with me. For all their faults, they were loyal, and kind, and I should...appreciate them more, at any rate. Even if I don't trust them. They deserve _something_, at least.

"Axel."

It was quiet.

"_Axel_."

"Mmm..."

"...Thank you."

"Hmm...?"

"...Never mind. Go back to sleep."

"Mmm...sleep...fell asleep..." He sat up slowly, yawning. "Sorry, Sai. Just resting my eyes."

"It's all right."

He dragged himself to his feet. "Gonna go find some caffeine."

"You don't have to. Just, stay with me." I winced at how that sounded.

He looked at me in surprise, then smiled and sat back down next to me. "Few more hours left, huh?"

"It's so ridiculous, I shouldn't need to be coddled like this..."

"Hey, no one can be a responsible grown-up _all_ the time, right?"

In the end, it was I who dozed off. I blinked my eyes open to find that the clock hands had jumped, that the sky outside was not quite so black, that the first cautious notes of birdsong were starting up. "I spent...Christmas Eve...in the living room..."

"Congrats, Sai. Here, have a cookie."

Thank goodness for Lea's inability to rise bright and early, it gave us enough time to clean up. Fire doused, ashes disposed of, sofa moved back, weaponry disassembled and returned to their proper places...

"Moooomm!"

"Daddyyyy!"

Lea laughed, hugging her youngest son tightly and showering him with kisses. "My darling, precious sweetheart! Everything went okay?"

"I'm a good big brother, except I fell asleep but Axel didn't so it's okay."

"Huh?"

"No emergency vehicles, I see," Xem observed.

"We didn't burn the house down," Xion assured him. "We watched _Babes in Toyland_, but Sai-Sai liked _The Nutcracker_ better, and he's okay so can we open presents now?"

"Xion, we just walked through the door fifteen seconds ago."

As I stood watching, I was a little startled when Axel slung an arm around my shoulders. "Merry Christmas, Sai."

"It is Christmas, isn't it..."

"Not so bad, huh?"

"...It helped," I said shortly. "A _little_. That's all I'll say."

"Heheh, someday, this'll be the Most Wonderful Time Of The Year for you, too."

"Let's not get carried away."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: It's been _ages_ since I saw _Babes in Toyland_, one of the only things I remember was some kind of food fight in a pie factory. XD If I ever get the chance to watch it again and it turns out to be unsuitable, I'll hunt around some more for another Christmas movie that would both be age-appropriate for the kids and not freak out Sai. There were a lot of Christmas movies on the list I looked at that I haven't seen at all, too... I need to watch more stuff.

This was originally going to be the story to end the Christmas installment I meant to put in the dark series (which also includes a ton of Santaphobia, sorry :/), but...it was, like, the only time I could imagine all four of them cuddling together that would make a substantial story, not counting one of the _Fire & Moonlight_ stories I still need to post. *sweatdrop* As long as I can end that angsty Christmas fic on a relatively high note, it should be okay.

Complete: 2/30


	17. Day 04 - On a date: Axel

**A Kingdom Hearts fanwork: 30 Day OTP Challenge by Ericandy, written by Raberba girl**

**Stepsiblings: Day 04 - On a date (rough draft)**

Summary: It seems there is not enough Axel to go around.

A/N: Axel's POV. He's in high school, though I'm not sure exactly when. I do have another story planned that's entirely dedicated to Axel's love life (or, more accurately, lack of one XD), but I ended up writing this first. *sweatdrop*

**Also, warning for squick (including the author's note at the end), though Your Mileage May Vary.** (There's only one reader I can think of who would probably care. XD Tread carefully, maltytoast; I can send you a censored version if you want.)

Suzy's a random throwaway OC, her name was the first one that came to mind.

o.o.o

Okay, so she's not the sharpest crayon in the box, but that's not exactly what I'm looking for in a girl. Suzy's hot and laughs at my jokes and makes me feel like the most fantastic guy in the world, and you know what? That's enough for me.

Besides, I'm getting kind of desperate - I'd pretty much go out with ANY girl by now, anyone who's still willing to complete the actual date after surviving Xem's interrogation and Mom's smothering and my wonderful brothers and sister being...well, themselves.

"Do you like ponies?"

"Why does your butt stick out like that?"

*insert "Saïx Does Not Approve" doomgaze here*

"Leave her alone!" I order them, wincing at how it kind of came out sounding like a panicked shriek. "_No_ she does not like ponies but it doesn't matter and her butt is awesome and GO EMO OVER A BOOK OR SOMETHING I don't _care_ what you think about my l- _llll_ovely, adorable, sweet date here," I say, catching myself just in time from saying something dumb and trying to hide it by kissing Suzy's cheek.

She's gripping my arm, half-hidden behind me, staring at my family like they're wild tigers.

"Be back before 11:00 p.m.," Xem orders.

"You _do_ have a condom, right?" Mom says, and immediately gets hit by two incredulous doomgazes and a chorused "What's a condom?" from the kids.

"HA HA HA love you all have a great night!" I yell, shoving Suzy out the door and making sure to slam it behind me.

"That was your _family_?" she whispers. Now I'm the one she's staring at, except that I think in her eyes, I'm something a lot less impressive than a tiger.

My chest feels tight. There are some reasons I don't mind getting dumped for. There are some reasons I DO. And if this is gonna be the 'your brother is a creep and your little brother is annoying and I wish your little sister would just _leave me alone_' thing all over again, then I _swear_ I'm driving Suzy straight home and going to hang out with Demyx for the night. "Why, you gonna let 'em scare you off?"

She smiles ("Maybe. Let's see if you're worth it"), then runs her fingers through my hair and pulls me close to kiss me. About a 6, but whatever; we can adjust later. When we're actually _on_ our date and not being gawked at.

"Umm...you think we should get going?" she says uneasily when she pulls back, glancing at the others. I pull off my jacket and slap it against the window. Roxas and Xion scamper off, giggling, and Saïx follows them with a sigh. Xem glares and points out what I assume is a scuff on the pane that I can't even see, and Mom winks at me from behind him.

"YES. Definitely."

It's fine for a while. Suzy knows how to make good conversation (well...she knows how to get me talking about myself a lot, as she stares at me with wide-eyed, fixated attention and gasps with whatever emotion my stories call for). She knows how to carry herself - I have not yet seen the girl from any unsexy angle. She's comfortable and flirty and hot and laughing and _dang it_ why is my phone ringing?

_"Axel?"_

"What's up, Princess?"

_"You said you'd watch the ice cream episode with me..."_

"You've got My Little Pony on?"

_"Saïx won't,"_ she pouts.

"Still no good, huh. But you've got Roxas, right?"

_"Roxas is little. I want you."_

Dang _it_, it's like total Pavlov, my heart is already twisting and I want to go home and cuddle her and watch MLP with her and I realize that I'm actually _reaching for my keys_. On a date. I am on a date with a hot girl and I'm reaching for my keys _without even thinking about it_, as if I'm actually going to drive home and watch a cartoon about ponies with my little sister. "Xion. I am on a date."

_"...When are you gonna finish so you can come home?"_

"I- I don't know, Xi, it- 11:00. Your dad said eleven. I'll be home by then, okay?"

_"But I'll be asleep!"_

"We can watch MLP tomorrow, okay?"

_"But I want to watch it tonight. With you. I don't like that you went to a date without me."_

What, is she taking lessons from Van or something? "Xion...I love you and Roxas and Saïx very, very, very much, but sometimes I have to do some things without you guys, okay? Do you understand that?"

_"..."_

"Xi?"

_"...Okay."_

I let out a relieved breath. "Okay. So you go on and watch and go to bed and I'll see you tomorrow morning, okay?"

She makes kissing sounds, and I make them back, and then she finally hangs up and I find Suzy and the waitress staring at me.

"...Are you finished?" Suzy asks, putting on a smile again.

"Uh...yeah. Yeah, I'm- Are we ordering?"

"Yes," the waitress says, putting on her own smile. "What would you like, sir?"

Just when it's getting back on track, Suzy's laughing at something I said and I'm starting to forget that anything other than the two of us are important, my phone rings again. "Hold on just a sec..."

_"Hi, Axel."_

"Hey, Rox."

_"You can call me Rox-my-socks."_

I eye Suzy warily. "Um...but you hate that name, right?" Sort of. He was starting to, anyway.

_"I'm Rox-my-socks,"_ he says forcefully, _"and Xion is Princess and Saïx is whatever makes him mad and you like the big-butt girl more than you like me."_

"Roxas, that is _not_ true."

_"You made me stay home."_

"Roxas, I'm on a _date_! Big brothers don't let little brothers come along on their dates!"

_"Saïx did."_

"That's because Saïx didn't _want_ to go on a date and needed us for moral support."

_"You need me for moral support."_

"You don't even know what moral support is."

_"...You need me."_

"What I need is to get off the phone and make Suzy happy before she dumps me."

_"DUMP HIM, SUZY!"_ Roxas yells, and I hastily hang up.

"You really like your family, don't you," Suzy says. Her tone doesn't give away much, but I don't like her expression.

"...My brothers and sister are really important to me."

"Axel," she says softly, and I'm relieved because she's back now, soft warm flirty Suzy putting her hand over mine and giving me those soulful eyes that had been the first thing I'd noticed about her. "Turn the phone off, please...?"

It's hard. A lot harder than I expected. But she's right, and I want a date to go like it's _supposed_ to for once in my life so I know I need to do this, and the entree's actually arrived before I'm finally able to do it, but eventually I manage to get the ringer completely silenced.

And then the phone lights up. Incoming call.

I stare at it, then it's being pushed out of my hand and soft warm lips are being pushed against mine and...yeah, this one's about an 8. I _knew_ it'd get better. Yeah. ...Would probably be a 9 if the thought of that silently ringing phone wasn't distracting me.

"Feed me," she whispers.

Spooning dinner into her mouth feels ridiculous at first, but I think that was the point - soon we're laughing again because this is so stupid, and after a while it kind of fades down and starts getting sexy, and I'm sparing just enough attention to her fingers trailing up my arm to enjoy it but still be able to get the next spoonful into her mouth and not all over her dress, but then-

"Ax-!"

"_Xion_."

"Sssshhhh, Xion, don't tell him we're here!"

As Suzy's shrieking about the new color patterns on her dress that hadn't been there before, I'm staring at a certain blue-haired person that I really want to throttle, since I'd never be able to throttle the other two, no matter HOW FREAKING OBNOXIOUS THEY ARE.

When Roxas notices me staring at him, he smiles and takes his hand away from Xion's mouth and waves. "We're on a Super-Secret Mission."

"Not so secret now," Saïx mutters.

"I'm going to kill all three of you," I say conversationally.

The kids shriek happily and start to take off as if they expect me to chase them, but Saïx catches them both in a practiced way. "This isn't a game. I told you both we were just going to check on him and then go back home."

"But Saïx, I'm hungry!"

"I want chicken."

Suzy stands up. "Axel, this isn't going to work out."

I barely hear her, because I'm already asking our frowning waitress for the check.

Later, at McDonald's, I'm working my way through a pile of comfort junk food as I try to practice doomgazing on Saïx, who's sitting across from me reading a book. It's not working. He's like a statue.

Until he finally sighs and puts the book down and says, "I apologize. They were worried. You weren't answering your phone."

"I WAS ON A DATE."

"...She didn't suit you."

"I DON'T CARE."

He blinks. "You _knew_ she didn't truly care about you?"

"SOMETIMES, SAIX, PEOPLE GO ON DATES JUST TO HAVE FUN."

"...I was worried, too."

Well, _dang it_, I can't stay mad when Mr. Leave Me Alone says something like that... Though I try to, anyway. "You guys can't last _a few hours_ without me? You're my own flesh and blood, and you're _jealous_ of someone I've only known for a week?"

"Roxas is only half your flesh and blood...Xion and I are only related to you by marriage..."

Now I want to throttle him again. "Stop talking before I throw this McFlurry at your head. Get it through your thick skull that you and me are brothers-"

I jump when their high voices chime in, in unison. "-and always will be, no matter what happens. Brothers all the way," Roxas finishes, except Xion elbows him and insists, "It's _siblings_," and Roxas says, "Whatever."

"...You and _I_ are brothers," Saïx mumbles. "For someone so fixated on memorization, you seem to have a difficult time remembering proper grammar."

Xion's crawling into my lap and putting her arms around my neck, as Roxas leans against me so heavily that he'll fall if I move. "Are you mad, Axel?" Xion asks anxiously.

"Ugh, I can't stay mad at you guys," I say, kissing her forehead. I wave at the play area where other kids are tumbling through the tunnels and screaming like kids do. "You two don't want to play anymore?"

"I wanna be with you."

"It's not fun playing when you're mad."

"I'm not mad anymore, Rox."

"But now you're sad."

"I'm not...sad...exactly..."

Roxas looks at my lap, which is full, then makes a resigned sound and backs into the closest lap that's available. Saïx is not happy.

"I'm sorry, Axel," Xion says.

"Don't worry about it."

"You can have a date with us," Roxas says, which makes me laugh.

"Yeah," Xion says eagerly. "Can I feed you, Axel, like you were feeding the big-butt girl?"

"Her butt was not big! I mean, it was, but that's a _good_ thing!"

"Here." Xion picks up the half-eaten McFlurry.

Luckily, Saïx reaches out to stop her before she can mash it into my face. "Axel is perfectly capable of feeding himself."

"Aw."

"Let's feed Saïx," Roxas suggests.

"NO."

"Heheh, you guys are awesome..."

"You're awesome, too, Axel," Xion says, snuggling me. "You're my favorite person in the whole world. You and Saïx and Roxas. And Daddy and Mom and Mommy and Aunt Aqua and Uncle Terra and Dad and..."

I mean to say something affectionate and flippant, but my voice catches and all I can do is hug her.

"Hey, Axel's _my_ favorite person," Roxas insists.

"You can both have the same favorite person," Saïx says dryly.

"Oh. I like you, too, Saïx."

"I _love_ you, Sai-Sai!"

"...Hey, guys," I say, trying to think of the lamest, most kid-friendly one I can, as an experiment. "What time is it when an elephant sits on the fence?"

They all stare at me.

"It's time to fix the fence!"

The kids keep staring at me, though Saïx abruptly covers his mouth with one hand.

"Huh?"

"Why?"

Saïx clears his throat and looks overly stern to make up for having forgotten to be a grump for two seconds. "An elephant has quite a lot of mass. All that mass compressing a fence would soon break it, meaning that it would then be _time_ to fix it..."

Roxas and Xion burst into laughter at my stupid joke, as I sit there feeling like the most fantastic guy in the world, and you know what? I decide that two out of three is more than enough for me.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Lol, if you don't get the ending, re-read the first paragraph. ;)

Ftr, it's _possible_ that Roxas already knows what condoms are (he and Axel can talk to each other about anything [as long as they're not in public lol], and the subject might have or might not have ever come up), but I kinda didn't want to go there. orz And **I, personally, me, am going to firmly assume that Axel is still a virgin, because I reeeaaaallllly don't want to think about it otherwise. -.-**

Complete: 3/30


	18. Smile: Saix

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl; 100 theme challenge by Wishing-Fire**

**94. Smile (age 24) [rough draft]**

Summary: Saïx's dad gets a glimpse of how Saïx makes a living.

A/N: FTR, all the other drabbles I've written for this challenge so far are real drabbles, no more than a few hundred words each. (They're currently unposted, though I hope to post the first installment soon.) This one, though...long enough for a one-shot, so I'm posting it separately. *sweatdrop*

*Miranda's in this one again. Also, I commissioned Escria on DevArt - I had to use an OC, and Miranda was pretty much the only acceptable one I had, so it ended up being a scene from _Useful Ability_. I've linked to the picture on both my LJ and DevArt profiles. I got the plot bunny for "Smile" and started writing it a couple of weeks ago, but I suddenly drafted the rest of it so quickly because I want to commission Escria again - she seems to have a lot of open slots, her art is beautiful, she drew Saïx so lovely, and she got Miranda _perfect_ despite the fact that I didn't have a clear mental picture of her and so couldn't give very good physical descriptions!

o.o.o

I have no earthly idea why my father would decide to attend a high school awards ceremony where everyone except myself was a stranger to him, but...here we are.

"...and the final merit award," I said clearly into the microphone, "goes to Miranda Cisneros."

Amidst the applause, she came bounding onstage so quickly that I was genuinely afraid she was going to fall, with those shoes of hers. However, she made it safely to where I stood and beamed at me as I tried to hand her the certificate. "Take it, Miranda."

"I won!"

"Yes. You've done very well this year, Miranda."

"I did good, Mr. Acerbi!"

"Yes, very." I took her hand to close her fingers around her award, and was startled when she hugged me.

"We won!"

"The award is for _you_, I'm simply handing out certificates..."

She reached for the microphone, prompting both her mother and I to catch her hand. "Come along, now, Miranda," her mother said.

"I wanna tell everyone that Mr. Acerbi's the best teacher!"

"Oh, no, love, we have to go sit down now."

"But-!"

_"Miranda,"_ I Spoke, and she instantly turned her head to meet my eyes, expression alight with curiosity. _"It is not fair to keep the next class waiting while we take more time than we were allotted."_

"Ohhh...we have to be nice to the other people."

"Yes."

"Have to take turns."

"Take turns, Miranda."

"It's their turn," she told her mother, beaming.

"Yes, dear, now come along."

"You did a good job, Mr. Acerbi!"

"Thank you, Miranda."

After the ceremony, I caught sight of my father in the crowd and started making my way toward him, but was distracted when a burst of aromatic color was thrust at my face. "These are for you, Mr. Acerbi!"

"Miranda?"

"Mom said give them to you."

"These flowers?" Not sure what else to do, I accepted the bouquet that was bundled into my arms. "Isn't this something that would normally be given to a woman...?"

"Mr. Acerbiiiii!"

I looked around to find Amaris and Jessica quickly approaching with a young man in tow, and was annoyed when someone else slung an arm around my neck. "Personal space, Carlos."

"Personal space? What's that?" he teased.

"Mr. Acerbi! We're gonna MISS YOU!" Jessica insisted as soon as she was close enough to not have to shout to be heard amongst the noisy bustle of the crowd.

"It has been an interesting year," I conceded.

"Hey, Mr. Acerbi," Amaris said eagerly, "this is my boyfriend, Jacob! Isn't he gorgeous?"

I Spoke wordless _exasperation_ at her, making her giggle.

"Dude!" Jacob exclaimed, "He really does do some kinda glowy eye mind reading thing!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," I said firmly, eyeing my father watching us from nearby. "I'm pleased to make your acquaintance, but I'm afraid I must be-"

"Oooh, Mr. Acerbi, pleeeaase can I have a flower?" Jessica begged.

I glanced at Miranda. I could care less about the fate of the bouquet and would, indeed, be glad to get rid of it, but her feelings were higher priority. "It's up to Miranda."

"Oooh!" The girls started in with the higher-pitched, motherly tone they tended to use with her. "You gave Mr. Acerbi flowers, Miranda?"

"He's a good teacher," she said proudly. "Mom says you thank people who do good job."

"Awww, _who_ did a good job?" Carlos baby-talked me playfully, as if talking to a puppy.

"Get your arm off my neck before I resort to drastic measures."

"Aw, I was just kiddin', sir, I was just kidding..." Though he was still grinning, he removed his arm hastily enough.

"Miranda, the girls would like to share the flowers."

She cocked her head. "Share?"

"Is it all right with you if I let each of them have one?"

"The flowers?"

I detached one blossom from the rest. "One for Jessica. One for Amaris. One for Miranda." I had to say it, though I was reluctant. "One for me."

"Ohhhh...share?"

"Pleeeeaaase, Miranda?" both girls begged.

She beamed. "We share! Flowers."

"Yaaay! Thank you, Miranda!" they squealed, hugging her.

Amaris took an extra one for her boyfriend, then Carlos, grinning, reached for the last.

"HEY!" the girls protested, "Get away, Carlos, that one's Mr. Acerbi's!"

"I don't-" I started, but they were already tussling, and within seconds, the blossom was shredded on the floor.

"NOOOOO, MR. ACERBI'S FLOWERRRR!"

Miranda stared at me with wide eyes.

"I _really_ don't-" I quickly tried again, but Jacob was already taking the flower back out of his pocket and sticking it into mine. Miranda lovingly moved it up into my hair, and I managed to restrain my protest to a wordless sigh. "Someone clean up that mess, the auditorium floor is not a trash can."

"Aw, the janitors'll get it."

_"Take pride in your school and be responsible,"_ I ordered silently, then when the girls started to drop down to pick up the fallen petals, _"I WAS ADDRESSING YOU ALLEGED MEN."_

"Hey, babe, I'll get that for you," Jacob said hurriedly, falling to his knees and scooping the petals off the floor and out of his girlfriend's hands.

"Aww, you're so sweet, hon," Amaris said, kissing his cheek.

"Clean up, everywhere," Miranda remarked happily.

"Hey!" Jessica exclaimed, "Let's get a picture!"

The girls squealed in delight and immediately pounced on me. Carlos did not hesitate to strike a pose with us (undoubtedly giving me 'rabbit ears,' though there wasn't much I could do about it...), and, after a slightly dubious pause, Jacob shrugged and joined in. Amaris tugged Miranda close to complete our group. "Say cheeeese!"

The first picture did not capture all of us, since Jessica could not hold her phone far enough away. "We need someone to take the picture!"

"I'll do it," Jacob offered.

"NO!" Amaris said at once. "Someone else!" She looked around quickly. The crowd had thinned by now to a few clumps of people like ourselves, lingering to chat. My father was more easily noticeable. "WHOA!"

Everyone's attention was immediately on him.

"IT'S ANOTHER ONE!" Amaris shrieked in surprised delight.

"Dude!" Carlos shouted gleefully. "Alien invasion, take cover~!"

Father narrowed his eyes at me.

_"They're exaggerating,"_ I Spoke quickly. _"I've never admitted to anything or given them anything they can prove-"_

_disapproval_

_"_You_ try teaching, then, if you think it's so easy to resist using this curse for the ONE THING it's ever been useful for-!"_

"ZOMG THEY'RE LIKE DOING TELEPATHY!"

"Awesome!" Carlos crowed.

I closed my eyes in defeat.

"Hey!" Jessica cried, eagerly thrusting her phone at my father, "Take the picture for us!"

He stared at her. "I beg your pardon?"

"Pleeeeaase?" Amaris cooed.

"Be a nice alien and take the picture," Carlos urged.

"_What_ did you call me?"

"Father," I said, "they are very persistent. Please humor them before-"

"ZOMG HE'S YOUR _DAD_!?"

Ugh.

I felt a strange mixture of humiliation and smugness as it became apparent that my father had no idea how to use the phone to take a photograph. The girls instructed him rather gleefully, and after a few tries, he finally managed to capture a shot of the six of us together, which Jessica eagerly sent to the others.

As they were all hunched over their phones, Miranda tugged my hand and pointed. "Look, Mr. Acerbi. Flowers everywhere."

It made me smile slightly. "There certainly are, Miranda." It was a little uplifting, seeing those bright spots of color spread out rather than confined to just one place.

"Awesome," Amaris finally said. She turned to my father with a grin. "For a clueless alien, you take good pictures."

"You will kindly refrain from insulting me from now on," he said coldly.

She winced a little in response to the Speech. "Sheesh, Mr. Acerbi, no wonder you turned out so grumpy."

"Pardon?"

Jessica had grasped my sleeve and appeared to be using me as a shield, though she still smiled at my father. "He's kind of scary, but he's prettier than you, Mr. Acerbi."

I did not expect to see a flash of _surprise pleasure indignation_ before my father regained his composure. I had rarely ever seen him lose control like that, and usually only in response to Jasmine or Axel's female relatives.

"Whooooaaaa," all the children gasped in awed unison.

"_So_ cool."

"Man, I want magic talking eyes, too! Where'd you guys get them?"

"From JCPenney, duh," Amaris giggled playfully.

"Saïx, _what_ have you been telling them?" Father said in exasperation.

"Father, they're teenagers. They come up with it all themselves." It was strange to realize that I was actually more familiar with and comfortable in this arena than my father was. I hadn't expected such a thing to ever happen.

Father gave me a long look. Then he finally said, "Very well."

"Hey," Amaris asked him, "how old are you, anyway?"

"Mr. Acerbi's daddy," Miranda said dolefully, "no more flowers..."

"I can assure you, Miranda," I said quickly, "he will be perfectly fine without one."

They all eventually wandered off, though Carlos, the last to start leaving, suddenly wheeled back to face me. "Oh! Hey, Acerbi!"

"How many times do I have to tell you that I don't answer to-"

He was ignoring me, pulling papers out of his pocket. One was a crumpled wad that I recognized as his report card from last semester, the one where his nearly failing grade had prompted his mother to start sending him in for tutoring. This he shoved back into his pocket in order to unfold a more recent (and better cared for) report card, the one that had just been issued yesterday. "I wanted to show you," he said, stabbing his finger at the 93% grade he had earned in my class, "this _sucks_."

I raised an eyebrow. Students like him rarely shared my own standards, and he had in the past envied students with grades in the 80-89% range.

"Thanks to YOU and my MOM, I barely got to play Halo this whole semester!"

"My heart bleeds for you," I said in my driest tone. Yet I could see how proud of himself he was behind the exaggerated indignation, and I set a hand on his shoulder. "Do you see now how rewarding it is to work hard and keep your focus?"

"I'm pulling an all-nighter this weekend, I'm gonna make up for the _whole semester_."

"...Well, you have been investing many hours in your studies, I suppose you can now afford to waste one night on video games."

"I pwned your freaking class, Acerbi."

_"Respect, Carlos."_

"Mr. Acerbi," he amended, still insistent.

"Your performance was outstanding," I granted him, and he smiled at me before turning to walk away, satisfied.

We were alone now. I stopped myself from fiddling with the flower in my hair, realized that there was no need to keep it there, and pulled it out.

"Saïx."

It was difficult to keep from flinching. _'You are a grown man,'_ I told myself in disgust. _'Face him like one.'_

What I saw and heard surprised me. "You've done quite well, haven't you," he said.

For the first time, I realized that my father has a good smile.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: The "spreading flowers around town" thing is an idea I got from a "Sesame Street" book. ^^;

The students are all random OCs with random names.


	19. Day 05 - Kissing

**A Kingdom Hearts fanwork: 30 Day OTP Challenge by Ericandy, written by Raberba girl**

**Stepsiblings: Day ****05 - Kissing (rough draft)  
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Summary: Little kids and PDA don't mix well...

A/N: I can't decide if this is AU or not...

Rox is 5 and Xi is 6. Or 6 and 7, I'm not sure. Whatever. I'll just let you read the story now. *sweatdrop*

o.o.o

Saïx was just putting his wallet away and Axel was turning from the counter with their ice creams gripped precariously in his hands when Roxas said solemnly, "Look, Axel. They're having sex."

Luckily, the one Axel dropped was the sea-salt bar wrapped in plastic packaging, which Saïx caught with lightning-quick reflexes. "Don't waste my money," he growled at his red-haired brother.

"_What_?" Axel gasped at Roxas.

Xion pointed. Across the ice cream parlor, a young couple by the window were leaning across the table toward each other, kissing.

"Th-They're not having sex, Roxas!"

"Yes, they are," the little boy said stubbornly. "Gene said that sex is when you slobber on each other's mouths. He said his brother and his girlfriend do it all the time."

"Ew," said Xion.

"Can we please talk about this somewhere else?" Saïx said in a pained voice, glancing at the giggling cashier. "Or even better, not talk about it at all..."

"Let's go find a table far away from everyone," Axel said, which they did. Then he gave a resigned sigh and tried to explain. He could _sense_ Saïx cringing beside him the entire time.

Afterward, Xion said unhappily, "Kissing's more complicated than I thought."

Roxas was thinking about it, looking dubious. "So you're supposed to kiss girls you like?"

"Yup," Axel said.

"_If_ you get permission first," Saïx added.

"Oh. Xion, can I get permission?"

"Okay," she agreed readily. "What for?"

Roxas started leaning his face close to hers.

"Ack!" Axel managed to yank him back before they could touch. "You're not supposed to kiss your own sister, Roxas!"

"But you just said to kiss girls you like! I like Xion."

"You're not allowed to kiss your brothers and sisters?" Xion said in dismay.

Axel wanted to headdesk. "Like I said, there's different _kinds_ of kissing. If you like a girl in a way where you want to date her, _that's_ when you can kiss her on the lips."

"For the record, you two are far too young to develop affections of that sort," Saïx said with a frown.

"Anyway, and for your family and stuff, you can kiss them on the cheek or the forehead or whatever."

"Like kissing good night?"

"Yeah, like kissing good night."

"What about butterfly kisses?" Xion inquired anxiously.

"Yeah, butterfly kisses are fine."

"What are butterfly kisses?" Saïx said warily.

Axel and Xion grinned at each other at the same time. She scrambled into his chair and fluttered her eyelashes against his cheek.

"That's butterfly kissing," he explained to their brothers. Saïx stared at them as if they had just announced that they were from another planet.

"I want butterfly kissing," Roxas demanded, and was readily obliged.

"Your turn, Sai-Sai!" Xion declared.

Saïx stood up so hastily that he nearly knocked his chair over. "I'm going to go buy some more ice cream."

"But what about your butterfly kisses?!"

He whirled and stalked rapidly away.

"Oi, Sai!"

"YOU NEED KISSES, TOO."

"Sai-Sai, come baaack...!"

Author's Notes: **Urgh, I really dislike this one. X(**

Complete: 4/30


	20. Father & Son: Xem

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Father & Son (rough draft)**

_For Xemnas/Roxas Day, 13 January 2013_

Summary: Xem learns that divorce doesn't change the number of his children after all.

A/N: Xem's POV. Roxas is ten years old.

I'm kind of nervous about the reception of this one, especially one part in the beginning, but I actually do like it overall... (I'm posting it a day early because I try to avoid posting fanfiction on Sundays.) Monday will be Xem & Xion's turn. ^^

o.o.o

I could not understand why I, of all people, was required to pick up my ex-wife's son from school, but the situation appeared to be that if I didn't leave work to go claim him, Roxas would be cast out into the street, or some such nonsense. This surely could not be the case, so I was inclined to ignore the request (repeated, from _several_ people) anyway. However, two of the most insistent people had been my own son and daughter, the former from thousands of kilometers away and the latter from a bus heading to an out-of-town tournament.

"He has a brother who is perfectly capable of retrieving him."

_"But Axel's at work!"_

"So am I."

_"Yeah, but he's out in the middle of nowhere! You can get Roxas _so much quicker_."_

"Xion, he is no longer my responsibility. Let his own relatives take care of him."

_"But..."_ She then proceeded to list why every single one of them was unavailable. _"...and Zidane is sick and Uncle Zack and Aunt Aqua are still out of town and I'm scared to have Vani do it, and no one can get hold of Mom."_

"Xion, she is not your mother anymore." Nor were Lea's siblings-in-law my daughter's aunts and uncles. I could not understand Xion's persistence in continuing to use inaccurate terms of address.

_"Of course she is! Just because she stopped being your wife doesn't mean she stopped being my mom!"_

I supposed I should indulge her in this matter... I had no substitute to offer her, and I was under the impression that girls were in need of mother figures. "Regardless, I still don't see why-"

_"Daddy, _please_. Pleeeaase, Daddy. There's no one else. Roxas has been waiting for _so long_, the last secretary is about to go home."_

I sighed. "Very well. Just this once, but I refuse to allow it to become a habit. If he misses the school bus again, he will take the city bus, or _walk_ home if necessary."

When I pulled up in front of the school, Roxas was standing before the doors, accompanied by a woman with a purse over her shoulder who looked fully ready to go straight to her car and drive home.

"Is that your dad, honey?" she asked as I got out.

"Yup," Roxas said. "Bye." He allowed her to embrace him and ruffle his hair, then jogged purposefully over to me and, to my surprise, gave me a tight hug. Perhaps it was an expression of relief.

"What were you doing that made you miss the bus?" I demanded.

"Hi, Father. I love you." Apparently intending to completely ignore my question, he climbed into the passenger seat. I was angry for a moment, but then decided it was not worth starting an argument over. That would do nothing to recoup the time I was wasting.

I went around to get back behind the wheel. "Saïx told me that you moved. Where should I drop you off?"

"I dunno."

My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, you don't know?"

He shrugged.

"Roxas," I commanded, "sit up straight and look me in the eye. I won't tolerate disrespectful mumbling."

"I forgot the address," he said, loudly and clearly.

Surely not. "You have not made it a habit to always be truthful with me, Roxas, and I am suspicious of your motives in this situation."

"We _just moved_. I have no idea where we live now."

"What area of town is it in, at least?"

"Father, I have no freaking idea. I'll just hang out with you 'til Axel gets off work and can come get me."

Roxas had never in his life addressed me as 'Father' before, and this second instance of it was a little unnerving. "Roxas, I will refrain from pointing out the technical inaccuracy of your address, since I'm sure your reasoning is similar to my daughter's. But I wish to make it quite clear that I no longer consider myself your stepfather, and I refuse to be held to any obligations you may imagine me bound to."

"...I dunno what the heck you just said, but you're always gonna be my father. You're the only one I've ever had, and I'm not giving you up just because Mom did."

I processed this for a moment. "...I will have to take some time to determine the specific conditions of this situation. What I said before still stands, however, in that I will never give you any money-"

"I don't care."

"-or transport you anywhere after today, or, in foreseeable circumstances, visit you."

"We'll see about that," he grumbled.

"Now. Back to the matter at hand. I need to know where to take you."

"Take me to your house, I don't care."

"That is out of the question. Roxas, I'm going to ask you once more: where do you live?"

"Dunno."

"You have one more chance to tell me of your own volition."

"I dun-" He suddenly paused, then turned to face me and braced his hands against the dashboard and the armrest, perhaps guessing what was to come. "I don't know," he said in a challenging tone.

Truly regrettable, what an insolent child he was. I began to Speak. _"You must tell me this, for my anger is rising; my power is greater than yours, you are to obey and it will go well with you."_

He had dropped his eyes, no longer able to meet mine, and the tension in his body was evident, but he said nothing.

_"Why do you resist? You are young, you are weak, there is fear in your heart, you suffer because you are afraid; yet if you simply give in, you will find relief..."_

He was struggling to breathe deeply and evenly. I kept on, expecting him to break at any moment, but as he kept his silence and trembled and tears began to seep from his eyes, I started to feel like I was being unduly cruel. He was still a child...this sort of force ought not to be used against one so young... I also feared that he was not close to breaking after all, that he would continue to endure, that his infuriating stubbornness would sustain him past limits.

I released him carefully until he leaned back, breathing hard and looking ill. I could think of nothing to say to him. If I'd known how strong his resistance would be, I wouldn't have used this method of persuasion.

I began sending text messages to all the boy's relatives whose contact information I knew, asking if they had his current address. When I felt that Roxas had had sufficient time to recover, I looked back at him. He was curled in the seat with his back toward me. "Roxas," I finally said, "fasten your seatbelt."

He acted as if I hadn't spoken.

"Roxas, I expect you to follow instructions."

"What," he said in a low voice, "you gonna doomgaze me again if I don't?"

Ordinarily, I would not have tolerated the insolence, but I...still regretted my treatment of him, to some extent. I myself finally reached over to draw the seatbelt down across him. He stirred and turned back a little so he could scoot away from me, flinching at my incidental touch.

"Stop, I'll do it..."

"Will you?"

He took hold of the buckle and clasped it. His shoulders were still hunched and he wouldn't meet my eyes, so on an impulse, I took hold of his face - carefully - and made him look at me. He apprehensively braced his hands again, which made me feel worse even though I Spoke gently this time, with the intent to soothe. _"Be at peace, you are strong, but there is no longer need to fight. No harm is meant for you, there is no reason to fear, be at peace..."_

To my surprise, he looked more upset than ever, with tears sliding down his face again, but just as I let go and started to pull away, he reached for me and continued to weep with his face pressed against my arm. Yet more confirmation that I would never understand my stepsons. My _former_ stepsons. "I apologize," I said with as much dignity as I could. "I did not mean to cause you more distress."

"Xem- Father, do you like me at _all_? Do you like me even a little bit? You can't doomgaze like that just now if you hate me, right...?"

I took my arm out of his grasp and placed it around his shoulders. "Roxas, I have never hated you. I thought that would have been ovi- ...I thought you knew that."

"Don't leave me alone," he whispered.

It occurred to me that he meant more than just this current moment. Not sure what to say, I let go and disengaged the emergency brake in preparation to leave. Not a single person had responded to any of my messages yet. "I will have to take you back to work with me. Tell your brother to pick you up from there.

Although he was quiet at first, Roxas soon began to chatter, and did not truly cease during the whole trip and as I checked back in and escorted him to my office. I Spoke silent warnings to ward off anyone who looked curious but had no business knowing who the boy was, and I explained to those who did, "He is my former wife's son. Circumstances were unavoidable, but he will not be here for long."

"Xem is my father," Roxas would promptly declare each time, taking my hand. "He's taking care of me because he's a really good dad." Which meant that I could not refute his claim without making myself look bad.

"I assure you, he will disrupt no one's work but my own," was the best I could manage.

I had a small desk and a chair brought up to my office so that Roxas could do his homework, and then a swivel chair when he insisted and I saw little profit in arguing with him. He wasted time playing with said chair until I threatened to take it away. Then he procrastinated on his homework until I used the Speech to motivate him, but he had not been working on it for very long before he needed help (or so he claimed). We wasted much time in this way, and even when I thought he had _finally_ settled down long enough for me to focus on my own work, he was back again.

"Hey, Father, I forgot I wanted to show you this."

He laid a set of stapled papers on my desk.

"Roxas-"

_"My Inspirational Figure,"_ he began to read aloud, leaning on my shoulder. _"I actually have lots of inspirational figures so it was hard to pick, but I'm writing about Xem now because he and Mom divorced and she said I'm never gonna see him again, so I miss him, but I can see Axel and Saïx and everyone else any time I want."_

"How often are you in contact with Saïx?" I wondered.

"A lot. _Well, not __every__ time I want because Saïx is stupid and goes to school really far away and mom gets mad when I talk about him, but everyone else is close._

_"So Xem is my father. Not my dad, because I already have a dad, but he's dead so I can't really see him. I miss him too, even though I don't really remember him. He was cool._

_"Xem's not really cool, or nice, but he's really smart, and he can do whatever he wants. Saïx said that an inspirational figure is someone you wanna be like or who makes you want to be a better person. I don't really want to be like Xem, but he's my father so I miss him. I thought I hated him because he was strict and didn't let us do stuff, but now I remember that he'd take us fun places sometimes even though he hated it, because he and Saïx are weird and hate fun things but they go with us because they love us._

_"Xem's rich and he always bought me everything I wanted, except a tattoo because he said I wasn't allowed, but my cousin Van who's a jerk got a tattoo when he was ten so it's not fair that I can't have one too. But I'm not too mad because I'll just get one when I'm 18, and Xem got me everything else. Sometimes they'd get boring after a while, but it wasn't boring playing with Xem. Xion knows how to make him play, and he's good at everything else but he's bad at games, so it's fun because we always win. Then we give him ice cream to make up for it, and Xion makes him eat the ice cream too, and I like it because when he's eating ice cream sometimes he says things with his eyes, happy things not doomgazing._

_"Mom says he's evil and he hates us, but I don't think that's true because she says the same thing about Saïx and Saïx loves us, he can't lie because every time we see him his eyes say I missed you I missed you I missed you so much I'm so glad to see you so hard that it kind of hurts, but in a good way, like when Xion hugs me so tight I feel like my head's gonna pop off. Saïx doesn't hug us a lot, but his eyes do, you know._

_"But Xem is my inspirational figure because he's my father and I wish he'd come back. I haven't seen him for ages. I even kind of miss his doomgaze because when he's doomgazing he's __there__, and he can't doomgaze when he's not there, and I haven't seen Saïx in ages too, because he's a jerk and I wish he'd gone to the same school Axel did, but he didn't because he's a goody two shoes and he went to the school Xem told him to go to. I wish my family was together again._ My hand hurt after writing all that, and it was the _longest one_ in the whole class, but I got a B on it. By the way, I changed my mind, I still hate your stupid doomgaze because it hurts and you're mean, but I'm still glad you came and picked me up from school."

He made no transition between reading and speaking, so it took me a moment to realize that the essay was complete. "Roxas..." I had intended to start pointing out the numerous spelling and grammatical errors, as well as suggestions for improving his writing style and how to actually answer the prompt, which he had failed to do for the most part.

Then I saw the grade at the top. Which I didn't think was merited, but in any case, this composition had already served its purpose. He had not shown it to me for the sake of receiving assistance, he had shown it to me because...

I looked up at him to make certain, taking his hands and drawing him around so I could see him better. In his face was apprehension, anxiety, and a half-hopeless desperation for approval.

"Roxas," I said instead, "I am very honored that you chose me as the topic of your assignment."

He gripped my hands and leaned close to lay his face against my shoulder, not saying anything.

"...I didn't realize you would miss me so much."

"You're my father," he whispered. "I need you."

I believed him, but it was difficult to think of anything to say. In the end, I simply put an arm around him and held him until he could compose himself.

However, he had not done so before my office door creaked open and my elder former stepson looked inside. "Hello," I said, expecting him to come and claim his brother immediately.

"You need me to go flirt with the secretary downstairs some more?" he asked instead.

"Yes," Roxas mumbled into my shoulder.

"'Kay. See you in a bit, Xem." Axel shut the door again, pretending not to hear when I tried to call him back. "How long has he been here?!"

"I dunno." Roxas straightened and patted my head. "He's not here anymore."

"Roxas!"

"Mom'll freak out if she finds out where I've been, so let's not waste time. I don't know when I'll get to see you gain."

"Roxas."

"I can help you with your work like you helped me with mine."

"No, you can't, this is entirely different." Well, actually... "Never mind. Take the files in this pile and put them in alphabetical order according to the name on this line. That would be significantly helpful. I presume you know the alphabet?"

"Of course I do!"

"Very well, then I expect your best work."

"Yes, sir," he said happily.

With my youngest son's assistance, and later my eldest's as well, I gained back some of the time I had lost, and was able to leave the office much earlier than expected.


	21. Gentle Insistence: Xem

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Gentle Insistence  
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Summary: Puppy Eyes _do_ work on Xem, actually. At least if it's a particular person shooting them at him.

A/N: Xem's POV. I'm not sure how old Xion is... *sweatdrop*

o.o.o

The children know better than to interrupt me when I'm working, but sometimes, they do so anyway.

Xion came into the study and paused. She said nothing, but her hesitating presence was distracting enough.

"It can't wait?" I finally asked.

"Pleeeaase, can I ask you something, Daddy?"

I sighed and turned to face her. "What is it?"

Her expression brightened. "Daddy, are you almost finished with the 'Clasden file'? You said you'd play with me when you finished the Clasden file."

Oh...I had actually completed that task about thirty-six minutes ago...I had forgotten what I'd told her, and moved on to the next priority item. It was one I could not easily pause in the middle of. "Xion, I need you to be patient for a while longer."

Her face fell this time, inducing an unpleasant feeling in my chest. "Oh...are you sure, Daddy?"

"Quite sure. Go play with Roxas while you wait."

"Okay..." She trudged out again, looking dejected. It was difficult to push the mental image aside and refocus, but I eventually managed to do so.

Rather than waiting for me to call her, she later came in again of her own volition. Unfortunately, I happened to be on the phone, having a long and frustrating conversation with someone I desperately wanted to Speak to with no Shield. I am a well-trained and civilized person, so I refrained, but the thought was still significantly tempting.

Xion came to stand before me. Again, she did not speak a word, but she might as well have been shouting, with her invasive stance and intent gaze.

_"Leave,"_ I commanded silently as I continued speaking aloud to the insufferable fool on the phone. _"I am not ready to give you my attention, and your presence is detrimental to my current business."_ I was a little surprised to feel myself wince as I watched her trudge away again. I was bound to keep my promise to her, and I would, I simply needed to finish this exasperating phone call first. Then update the record and call my partner with the results.

It shouldn't have taken long, but when she interrupted me yet again, I glanced at the clock and was startled to realize how much time had passed. I had the uneasy feeling I was not being fair to my daughter, and resolved to take her shopping this weekend to make amends.

She's a good girl. She stood patiently, not speaking, clutching a magazine to her chest.

"I apologize, Xion," I said, lowering my Shield slightly as I softened my voice and Spoke _welcome_ to her. "I will finish soon, just give me a little more time."

"It's okay, Daddy," she said, a little to my surprise. "You don't have to play with me if you don't want to. I just wanted to ask you something, because Saïx is busy and Axel said he's too dumb to know."

"Oh. Well, all right."

"Really? I can really ask you?"

"Certainly."

Her face lit up, and, somewhat to my discomfiture, she climbed into my lap and carefully spread the magazine open across my desk. "I don't know what 'matterite' means."

"Pardon?"

"Matterite." She pointed to a word in the magazine article.

I looked, and completely forgot to tell her that the word was actually 'maturation,' because the article's title had caught my eye and I got distracted. _'Living with a workaholic: How to recognize the signs. Do YOU know when enough's enough?'_

After I read the whole article, I realized that Xion was lounging comfortably against me, twisting narrow strands of my hair into braids. "Stop that."

"Oh. Okay. You have really pretty hair, Daddy."

"Such a compliment is more suitably paid to a woman than a man, Xion."

"Oh. Well, I like your hair, Daddy."

I was crushing the magazine as tightly as I could with the hand not holding Xion. I wanted to look at it until it caught fire. I was _not_ the sort of parent described here. I was a good father. I did my best, and I was careful to do everything right.

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"You don't have to play with me, but can I sit here with you while you're working? I miss you."

I swung her out of my lap and kept hold of her hand as I rose to my feet. "I will play with you now, Xion, if you still wish it."

Her eyes widened. "In a little while?"

"_No_, Xion. Now. I am at your full disposal for the next..." Twenty minutes, I meant to say. However, I had promised to accompany her much earlier than this, and she was such a well-behaved child, the minimum would not do. "...hour. For the next hour, I am yours."

"What does 'full disposal' mean?"

"I will play whatever game you wish, so long as it does not endanger anyone's health and safety, or the condition of any property."

"Ooooh, ooh, ooh, will you be Dragongold for real?"

"Pardon?"

I can't have been a satisfactory playmate, since I did not in the least know what to do with the shimmering golden-eyed winged unicorn toy she placed in my hands. Yet for some reason, she still seemed pleased with my performance by the end of the hour, anyway.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I'm pretty sure that Axel gave her that magazine, turned to that particular page. XD

Lol, Kasan is one of the more difficult people to write gifts for, I'm not sure what she likes best. :p But I know she's interested in StepsibsXem, and she said something one time about Xion using Puppy Eyes on him, so I hope this is something you will like, dear. ^^


	22. Father & Daughter: Xem

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Father & Daughter (rough draft)**

_For Xemnas/Xion Day, 14 January 2013_

Summary: Maybe it's not such a disastrous birthday gift after all.

A/N: Xem's POV. Again, I don't know how old Xion is. orz

o.o.o

It would have made things so much simpler if she'd simply asked for something I could buy, like I expected her to. Instead, she had asked for a "father/daughter date" as her birthday gift, but she was too young and unpolished, so of course it had been disastrous. Now here we were: driving home afterwards, silence between us, Xion sitting there in her stained dress, I having to endure the sounds of her failed attempts to hide her unhappiness.

"Xion," I finally said. "Don't cry. It displeases me when you cry."

The sounds intensified, as she fought harder to hold back her tears and failed even more than she had before.

I tried to not sigh. "I'm not angry, you know." Just disappointed and frustrated.

"I know," she said tightly, barely intelligible.

"...We can try again at another time, perhaps at a more suitable restaurant."

"N-No." A pause. Then a cascade of fresh tears and barely understandable speech, "I j-just, mess _up_, I can't be a lady, I can't be pretty and move pretty like Aunt Ella does, I can't be a princess, I want to be a lady but I'm just stupid and I spill things and I say the wrong thing and I can never make you smile, Daddyyyy...!" Her words dissolved into wailing sobs.

"Xion, I never asked or expected you to be a princess," I said, which only made her cry harder. This was _exasperating_. I simply wanted my daughter to be happy on her birthday, yet here she was absolutely miserable, and I could not understand what I had done wrong. "...I hope you're not using the frequency of my smiles as a gauge of my feelings. I love you very much, regardless of my facial expression."

Her sobs soon faded to sniffles, but I could still strongly sense her misery. I had to resist sighing again. Why couldn't she ask for a pony like other little girls did, like she herself had done when she was younger? Not that I was inclined to actually bring a live pony into our care, but I didn't know what else to _do_... "Xion, do you remember how you asked me, several times, for a pony a few years ago?"

"Yeah," she said dolefully. "I wish unicorns and pegasuses were real. And I wish their poop wasn't so smelly and hard to clean up. They're prettier on the TV than they are in real life." She paused. "Yeah, I remember. Why?"

"...Never mind." I _knew_ it had been a bad idea to let her visit that ranch...

We drove a little longer in silence. "Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"You're really not mad at me for getting my dress dirty and saying the food was yucky and making the lady mad at-?"

"I told you, I am not angry."

She sighed. "Okay." Then she went back to being quietly miserable, and I tried to think of ways to put her in better spirits.

I was on the brink of deciding to ask Aqua for help, when I suddenly realized where we were. On an impulse, I changed direction and headed back toward the park we had just passed.

"Where are we going, Daddy?"

"Somewhere I hope you'll enjoy more than that restaurant." Yet when we had actually parked and stepped out of the car, and I looked around at the dark, deserted place, I realized what a foolish idea this had been. Of _course_ no one brought their children to play here when it was late at night, and cold...

I tried to think of a graceful way to tell Xion to get back in the car so we could go home after all, but she saved me the trouble. "Daddy, can- _will_ you please push me on the swing?"

"...I suppose so."

Her face lit up, and she ran to the swing set. I followed, my footing unsure over all the pebbles layered over the ground. "Are you cold, Xion?"

"No, Daddy, my jacket's warm. I want you to push me on the swing."

"Very well."

She began to sing as the arc of her swing increased. _"For every high, there is a low. For every to, there is a fro. To and fro, stop and go, that's what makes the world go 'round..."_

The lyrics began to grate on me. "Sing a different song, Xion."

"Okay, your turn. You choose the song and sing."

"I'm not going to sing."

"Pleeeeaaase, Daddy?"

"No."

"...Even though it's my birthday?"

_"...When I am down, and oh, my soul so weary; when troubles come, and my heart burdened be; then, I am still and wait here in the silence, until you come and sit awhile with me."_ It had simply been the first song that came to mind (the first song I was willing to sing, anyway), but it belatedly occurred to me that it suited my general sentiment. It wasn't that my daughter stood in place of the song's intended subject, but...there was something about her that reminded me of it. I treasured her, found her company soothing and uplifting in a way no one else's was, not even my wife's. With Xion, I could be...myself. I felt more liberated in her presence than I did with anyone else. For her sake, for her happiness and well-being, I would sacrifice the most.

"I like when you sing, Daddy."

"It is your singing I would prefer to hear."

"Okay. _You can learn a lot of things from the flowers, for especially in the month of June. There's a wealth of happiness and romance, all in the golden afternoon!"_

"I suppose it will do no good to ask where in the world you picked that up..."

A few minutes later, she startled me by leaping off the swing at the height of its forward arc.

"Xion!"

She darted to smack her hand against me, then fled. "You're It!"

"What?!" Alarmed, bewildered, and slightly angry, I hurried over those irritating rocks and caught her. "Why on earth are you running?"

"Noooo!" She sighed heavily. "Fine, you win."

"What?"

"Run, Daddy!"

"...Is this that 'Tag' game of yours?"

She hit me again. "Too late! You're It, Daddy!" She ran again.

I caught her quickly, of course. "Xion, I am stronger and much taller than you. You won't be able to escape me."

"Noooo! I'm gonna beat you!"

She couldn't, of course. She finally seemed to get frustrated and said, "Okay, we're playing a different game now. You hide, and I'll count to fifty and then come look for you, okay?"

I was sure she had to have been either skipping numbers or counting _very_ quickly. However, it didn't matter, because I was always out of sight by the time she began to search for me. There were not many places to hide here, but I was resourceful - even so, she found me every single time, much more quickly than I expected. "You are skilled at locating your target," I acknowledged resentfully.

She giggled. "You're easy to find, Daddy."

"Hm?"

She cupped her hands gently around my eyes, and I was surprised to realize the degree to which I had been neglecting to Shield all this time. No wonder she could sense me so easily. "...Are you playing the game fairly, Xion? It does not make sense for the person in the role of 'It' to have so many consecutive turns."

She looked sheepish. "I'm sorry, Daddy. You can be It this time if you want."

It was not as satisfactory as I expected. In fact, it was not satisfactory at all. I stood there in the middle of that cold, dark playground, hearing nothing but the wind in the trees and the more distant sound of traffic, and felt deeply alone. "Xion?"

Of course she wouldn't answer. She was hiding from me. I had to search for her. "Xion..."

I couldn't find her. I couldn't find her. She was in none of my own hiding places, nowhere I thought to search- "Xion!" My child was lost. She had the advantage of me, I could not sense her at all. I knew it was just a game, but could not...seem to truly convince my emotions of that. "XION." If I lost her, my heart would-

"Are you...okay, Daddy?"

"Come here," I ordered. She crept toward me in a frightened way, and I seized her as if she would be swept away. "Do not do that again."

"Okay...you want to play something different?"

Something that would keep her close. "Go sit on the bench." She obeyed, and I seated myself beside her, putting an arm around her shoulders. I didn't need the reassurance, but it seemed better to stay in contact "Xion, look up at the sky."

"Okay."

"Do you see that bright star up there, the one that outshines all the others around it?"

"Yes. It's pretty."

"That is Polaris, also called the North Star. From our perspective, it appears to stay perpetually fixed in the same position, making it useful for navigation."

"What's navigation?"

"Finding one's way. Note how it is a part of the Ursa Minor constellation, which is made up of the stars Kochab, Pherkad, Yildun..."

We were finally on a level I understood. Talking about something I was more familiar with than her games, I no longer felt out of my depth. Indeed, spending time with my daughter in this way was true recreation, and I thought to myself that I ought to make things like this more of a priority. "Are you paying attention, Xion?"

"Yes, Daddy. Are there any star-ponies? Are they friends with the star-doggies?"

By the time I was pointing out the Gemini constellation, she had seemed to lose interest. "...it is as if they are clasping hands."

"Mm."

"The name refers to the twins Castor and Pollux in Greek mythology, who were able to spend eternity together when Pollux chose to share immortality with his brother."

This time, there was no response at all. Upon closer inspection, I realized that she was not ignoring me, but had actually fallen asleep. She was curled tightly against my body, as if seeking warmth, and her face was very cold. I supposed I should take her home now...

"Come, Xion." I stood up and lifted her. Still mostly asleep, she put her arms around my neck. After a moment's hesitation, I laid a kiss on her brow. "I love you," I told her.

"Love you, too," she murmured. I doubt that the temperature actually changed in that moment, but hearing her say that seemed to warm me, anyway.

o.o.o

Songs:

"That's What Makes the World Go 'Round" from Disney's _The Sword in the Stone_

"You Raise Me Up" by Brendan Graham (music by Rolf Løvland)

"All in the Golden Afternoon" from Disney's _Alice in Wonderland_

Author's Notes: Since Xion's birthday, Xemnas/Xion Day, and the _Stepsiblings_ anniversary are all on January 14th, I was trying to brainstorm ideas that would combine all three. At first I was thinking of doing a birthday party with as many of the Stepsibs cast as I could fit in, but I knew it would take too long to write, and I didn't really have good ideas for it, anyway. Then I decided to draw a picture for the anniversary instead, which freed me up to focus on XemXi in a story. I played around with some ideas, had a little trouble, but eventually I settled on this one, which outlined itself pretty easily once the plot bunny was in place. ^^


	23. Lunch Date: Xem

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Lunch Date (rough draft)**

_For ladysemphia007_

Summary: Xem WILL have lunch with her, _or else_.

A/N: Xem's POV.

o.o.o

I meant to simply finish reading the first section before pausing for lunch, but the troubling clause at the end caught my attention. I knew I would not be able to stop thinking about it the entire lunch hour if I stopped now, so I started to skim through the rest of the document. A few pages in, I realized that I was actually creating more work for myself later, so I went back to read it all properly.

_"Mr. Acerbi?"_ my secretary called at one point, _"there's a Mrs. Fair here to see you."_

What? "I had canceled that appointment."

_"...She says, er-"_

There was a scuffling sound, then I heard the voice of my fiancée's sister-in-law. _"Xem Acerbi, I'm sick of being canceled out of your schedule; this is the THIRD TIME. I am not leaving until you come out and have lunch with me."_

"I told you why such a thing became impossible for today. My colleagues-"

_"I don't care. You have until 1:15."_

What would happen at 1:15? "Veronica, please have security escort Mrs. Fair out." I resumed reading.

When I finished, I had just opened a new file and begun to type, when the door burst open and someone came striding into my office. "Let's go, Xem."

_What?_ "I thought I'd-" Then I saw the security guards lying unconscious on the floor outside, and my secretary huddling behind her desk with a frightened expression. Sacred moon. Lea's sister-in-law was a monster.

"Don't bother to look for your keys, I'm driving."

"Mrs. Fair, this is an outrage-"

"It's _Aqua_. You're going to be my brother-in-law, after all."

"Technically-"

"Are you going to get away from that computer, or do I have to unplug it?"

Insufferable woman. I stood up and began to Speak.

I have never in my life met someone outside my own family who could withstand the Speech with such tranquility. Yet this woman, this virtual stranger, merely blinked a bit in surprise, then frowned and met my gaze head-on, concentrating intently as if she had a Speech of her own to respond with.

"...Enough," she said at last. "Looks like you hate it here just as much as your son hates school. Forget all this for _one hour_, and let me get to know you better, the man who's going to be in charge of my little brother's children."

...She had a fair point. "Very well. After I-"

"It'll all still be here when you get back; I'm hungry, let's _go_!"

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Sorry about the string of Xem-narrated fics lately, guys - they're spaced out more if you read this series in proper order. ^^; I promise that I have stories with other characters narrating, it's just that the ones I keep finishing first are either by Xem or AUs. *sweatdrop*

Lol, I started a "Readers' Wish List" because I like hearing people's requests even when I'm not able to actually write them. One of Semphia's requests was Xemnas/Aqua, which is one of the few het KH pairings I actively dislike. So that got me wondering if I ever _could_ write XemQua, and I still dunno if I can do romance for them, but a little Stepsibs plunny popped into my head since they are, after all, siblings-in-law there (sort of). XD


	24. Guestbook: Saïx

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Guestbook**

Summary: Pens like these are hard to write with.

o.o.o

It was over at last. Father and Lea were off to start their honeymoon, leaving the rest of us behind to clean up everything and finally resume normal lives.

I turned my attention to packing up decorations, and eventually came across Xion by the front entrance. She was sitting on the floor, ruining the guestbook. "_Xion_!"

She looked up at me and winced. "I'm not being bad."

"What are you _doing_?!" I snatched the book out of her hands and stared at the ink smears in dismay.

"The pen is broken..."

"It's a _quill_. And you are far too young to know how to handle one, so don't _touch_ it."

Tears started brimming in her eyes. "I wanted to tell Daddy and Mom that I'm so happy they got married..."

I studied her a while. Then I sighed and set the guestbook, quill, and inkwell back where they'd been displayed. "Dictate to me. I'll write it for you."

Her face lit up. "I love you, Sai-Sai!"

"Xion-"

"I can't see."

I sighed again and fetched a chair for her to stand on. She leaned on my shoulder and watched as I recorded her message.

_Dear Daddy and Mom, I'm so happy you got married and we have a good family. You're so pretty and sparkled like stars. I liked all the flowers and the white shiny things. I'm going to get married just like you someday. The cake was delicious._

"Xion, this is not as easy as writing with a ballpoint pen. Finish quickly."

_I love you both very, very much. Saïx is happy, too. Hugs and kisses from Xion._

"Now you write something, Sai-Sai!"

In the end, all I could think to do, especially with Xion watching, was to draw a small crescent moon in the corner of a page. I would not be dishonest, nor would I dishonor the celebration of this marriage, which did not leave me with very much sentiment to express.

"Now draw a puppy."

"No. Help me pack up the gifts."

"But we have to open them first!"

"_No_."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Aaaaand here is the final Christmas 2012 gift-drabble, _three months late_. orz Because first I couldn't write Larxene/Aladdin, then when I finally gave up and asked her for a different plunny, Stepsibs SaiShi WOULDN'T COOPERATE, I think since Aku&/orRoku kept getting jealous and wanting to share screen time... Yeah, so Epic Fail on my part. Definitely, definitely, _definitely_ will handle Christmas 2013 much differently, since apparently everyone's right when they say how hard it is to write Christmas giftfics for individual friends. XD


	25. Lights in Shadow - Fifty Moments part 1

Introduction: I decided to do Wishing-Fire's 50 theme challenge for Roxas/Xion (platonic) and Terra/Cinderella (romance) in the _Stepsiblings_ universe. I'm _completely_ disregarding the word count limit, ftr. *sweatdrop* Probably won't ace the "each chapter must show a progress of a relationship" rule, either...and sometimes I failed at even making the drabbles about RokuShi, since stupid Axel & Saïx kept invading...IT'S JUST ONE BIG FAIL, OKAY?

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl; 50 theme challenge by Wishing-Fire**

**Lights in Shadow - Fifty Moments (part 1) [rough draft]**

_For Roxas/Xion Day, 20 June 2013_

Summary: Fifty moments for Xion & Roxas.

A/N: **All of the drabbles in the series are chronological except for theme 20. ...And I just realized that theme 1 (New Beginnings) takes places after themes 2 & 3, which happen during that amusement park visit where Axel, Saïx, Xion, & Roxas first meet each other. Whoops...**

I'd wanted to do ten drabbles per 'chapter,' not five, but I wanted to post the first batch in time for RokuShi Day, so I had to hurry. *sweatdrop*

**1. New Beginnings**

"Daddy?"

"Yes, Xion?" he said as he tucked her in that night.

"I'm excited to get a new mommy, but...I was wondering."

After a long pause, he finally asked in a patient tone, "What were you wondering, Xion."

"...Are _you_ excited to get a new mommy?"

"What?"

"I mean, a wife. Not a mommy."

"Go to sleep." He leaned to kiss her, then stood up to leave.

"Wait, Daddy!"

"What is it?" The patience was starting to sink into neutrality.

"...Come here again?"

He knelt so as to be closer to her, eyes giving a very slight warning.

She reached for them, touching his face softly. "When we talk about her, your eyes don't look happy."

His Shield hardened, completely cutting her off from his emotions. "I am pleased at the prospect of having a new wife to help carry on our family's name."

"What's that mean?"

"If all goes well, you shall have new siblings, Xion."

"Yeah! Axel and Roxas, right? Please please please Daddy can we go play with them again soon?"

He smiled slightly, relieved that she had misunderstood and he was no longer forced to explain. "As you wish, Xion."

"Yay!"

o.o.o

"He's not _scary_ scary, is he?" Lea said in a playful, wheedling tone, tickling Roxas a little.

He giggled and pushed her hands away. "His eyes are weird."

"They're _pretty_. Have you ever seen pretty yellow eyes like that?"

"No."

"Exactly! It makes him stand out. He's very handsome."

"Axel doesn't like him."

"Axel doesn't like much," Lea pouted.

"Yes he does. He likes ice cream. And he likes me."

"_Everyone_ likes you," Lea cooed, cuddling and kissing him. "Everyone _loves_ you."

"Stop," he giggled.

The playfulness died down, and she lay beside him stroking his hair with a thoughtful, slightly sad look on her face. "Listen, Roxas," she finally said. She sounded serious, so he listened. "It's been...kind of hard, since your daddy left."

"Axel gets mad a lot. And sometimes he cries."

"What?"

"That was a long time ago, though. Now he just laughs a lot and makes other people mad. And he'll play with me if I ask him."

"Axel doesn't cry."

"Not anymore."

"...Roxas, you'll be okay having a new family. You really will."

"I don't want a new family..."

She kissed him again, lips lingering on his forehead as she tried to hold back her own tears. "Roxas...it's been really, really hard for me and Axel to take care of you all on our own. There's too much _stuff_ to pay for, there's never enough money... Don't you want to be rich, sweetie? Don't you want a mom and dad who'll be able to buy you whatever you want?"

"I want a Buzz Lightyear."

"Well...you can have one if you let Mommy marry Xem, okay?"

"Okay." He said it easily, but then he frowned.

She kissed him again in relief, and held him close. "It'll be good, Roxas. We'll be able to start over again, have a much better life from now on..."

**2. Shy**

Axel and Roxas stayed close together. Xion didn't think anything of it at first, because Saïx was keeping her away from them, too. But then they were waiting and waiting and waiting by the lockers for everyone to finish changing clothes, and Xion went to talk to Roxas but he kept moving away every time she got close. So she giggled and pretended she was a lion stalking her prey.

"Go away!" Roxas finally yelled, kicking his sandal at her.

She was surprised. She thought he'd known it was a game. "I can't go very far, Daddy will be mad..."

"I just wanna be here with Axel and Mom, not you guys," Roxas grumbled, crouching down behind the trash can.

Xion came and crouched, too, far away so he wouldn't be scared. _'He's shy,'_ she thought. "What's your favorite color?"

"Huh?"

"Mine is purple and black."

"Oh. Mine is red and yellow. And orange."

She smiled. "Those are the crayons I use to color fire. Saïx taught me."

"I can make a fire."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Axel taught me. I'm good at it."

"You can't make a fire here, though."

They both looked around.

"We'd get in trouble," Roxas agreed.

"We can ride the rides, though."

"Yeah."

"Can I ride the rides with you, Roxas?"

"...Don't hug me."

"Why not?"

"You're a girl."

"So?"

"I don't like girls."

"Well...well, I don't like boys."

"Fine." He turned his back and sulked.

"...Roxas...I lied. I like boys."

He eyed her over his shoulder.

"I like girls, too. I like you," she added.

He looked surprised. "Oh."

"Let's be friends, okay?"

"I don't want to..."

"Why not? Is there something wrong with me?"

"Yeah."

"...What's wrong with me?"

He shrugged. "I dunno."

"But...I can't fix it if I don't know..."

"Oh." He thought for a while. Then he went to where Axel and Saïx were arguing, and pulled on Axel's shirt. "Hey, Axel."

Axel rounded on him and smiled widely, eyes still narrowed from the fight. "What's up, dude?"

"Is it okay if I'm friends with Xion?"

"Of course!"

"Really?"

"You and Xion'll get along great!"

"Huh." Roxas turned back to Xion and shrugged. "We can be friends."

"But I thought there was something wrong with me!"

"I guess not. Sorry."

"Oh. Okay." Xion went to hold his hand. Roxas looked at their hands, looked at Axel, looked back at their hands, and decided it was okay.

**3. Breaking the Ice**

It wasn't ladylike to slurp, but Axel and Roxas did it like they didn't even care it wasn't allowed. They even had a contest to see who could slurp loudest. Xion watched in awe. Roxas won.

"HAH! Beat you!"

"My lungs hurt," Axel laughed. He tipped back his head to let a few ice cubes roll into his mouth, crunching on them with his teeth like they were candy.

"Maybe you can slurp because you're not ladies," Xion decided.

"Huh?"

**3.2 Kind**

"Hey, Roxas?" Xion whispered. They were snuggled together in the fort they'd made in the living room. They were supposed to be asleep, but they weren't tired.

"What?"

"When Daddy marries your mom, she's gonna be my stepmother, right?"

"I dunno."

"A stepmother is when your mother dies and your father marries someone else."

"Okay." Roxas ate another marshmallow.

"She's not gonna be a wicked stepmother, is she?"

"A wicked stepmother?"

"Like in Cinderella and Snow White and stuff."

"What're those?"

"Cinderella! The fairy tales."

"Hmph." Roxas put his head down on his arms and sulked.

"...Roxas, don't you know what fairy tales are?"

"I bet they're stupid."

"No, they're not! I'll show you." Xion ran to get her book, except she tip-toed when she was passing the bedrooms, and then she ran back. "Here. I'll read to you." She couldn't actually read the stories yet because the words were hard, but she knew them by heart, and showed Roxas the pictures.

"Stepmothers are really bad, aren't they," he said when she finished.

"Maybe your mom will be the good kind and not the bad kind," Xion said anxiously.

"Yeah, I guess."

"I hope so..."

**4. Movie**

Even though Axel let them pick the movie and Saïx didn't care because he planned to read a book during the whole thing, they still couldn't decide. Xion and Roxas ran from one movie poster to another, arguing until they got genuinely upset and Xion started crying.

"Stop it, Xion," Saïx snapped, picking her up. "They're not worth it."

"I wanna watch _Equestria Girls_..."

"Make her choose the monster alien movie," Roxas demanded of Axel, with angry tears standing in his eyes.

_'I shouldn't think he's cute when he's mad, right...?'_ "Well, see, Rox, if we did that, we wouldn't really be gentlemen, would we."

"I'm not gentlemen!" Roxas yelled.

_'I don't think you even know what a gentleman _is_...'specially since you've never had any good examples to watch...'_ "How about we let Xion watch her movie first, and then we watch your movie, okay?"

"I am NOT sitting through a film that has anything to do with ponies," Saïx stormed.

"What are you gonna do, watch _Monsters vs Aliens_ with Roxas, then?" Axel challenged.

So they split up. The children's spirits seemed revived once they had been separated for an hour and a half, and they held hands on the way home.

o.o.o

Complete: 5/100


	26. Birthday Present: Saïx

_**Stepsiblings**_**, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic series by Raberba girl**

**Birthday Present (rough draft)**

_For Saix/Axel Day, 8 July 2013_

Summary: Saix is having a difficult time shopping for his stepbrother's birthday present. The children are NOT HELPING. *temporarily incomplete*

A/N: Mostly in Saix's POV; the end is in Axel's. Takes place the first summer after the wedding.

o.o.o

The first step was to obtain Gippal's phone number. In hindsight, there were probably better ways to go about it than hunt through Axel's room while he was in the shower.

"Saix, what are you doing?" I looked up to find both children standing in the doorway, watching me curiously.

I felt my face grow warm. "...My phone is charging," I lied. "I need to borrow Axel's."

"Oh."

"Okay."

They trooped in and sat together on the bed, continuing to gaze at me in a steady, interested way I found disconcerting. I tried to ignore them as I kept looking. "Axel, Father's told you to clean your room three times this week," I grumbled under my breath.

"You better not tell on him," Roxas warned, "or I'll go mess up _your_ room."

I straightened up and stared hard at him. He flinched and shifted behind Xion, who looked at me reproachfully. "Sai-Sai, be nice."

"Don't call me that, and mind your own business." In desperation, I began searching through drawers. I had to find this thing soon.

"Why don't you just ask Axel for his phone?" Xion asked.

"...I can't ask him, he's in the shower."

"I can go ask him," Roxas offered.

"_No_." At last - the cell phone was in the pocket of one of the many discarded pants that were strewn across the floor. I jerked it free and began pressing at buttons.

"Why do you need Axel's cell phone?"

"Why do you need to ask so many questions?"

The water in the bathroom down the hall shut off. I tried not to curse as I struggled to open his contacts list; it was difficult, trying to find my way around a strange phone.

"Do you not want Axel to know you were in his room?" Xion realized.

Did Gippal's name have one P or two?

"Why don't you want Axel to know you were in his room?" Roxas asked, look very interested. "Hey, Saix, buy me something cool so I won't tell Axel you were in his room."

The bathroom door opened. I memorized the phone number as quickly as I could.

"If you buy Roxas something, will you buy me something, too, big brother?"

I shoved the phone back in the pocket I'd found it in and practically dove out of the room - coming face to face with my older stepbrother in the hallway.

"Oh...hey, Sai." His hair looked very odd without its usual gelled spikes, spilling over his shoulders and frizzing damply around his head. Drops of water still clung to his skin in places, and he had the edge of a towel carelessly pressed to his stomach with one hand, the bare minimum of modesty for this short trip down the hall. Although it could have been worse, I've still told him _many times_ that he needs to be more courteous of the other people he lives with now.

"Axel, I can see your butt," Xion giggled from behind me.

"Huh." Blushing a little, he pulled the towel more securely around his waist, and seemed to be too flustered to ask why we were all gathered outside his room. "You guys need me for something?"

"Axel," Roxas started to say, "Saix was-"

"I want you to read a book," I interrupted firmly. "It's three hundred pages, but I'm sure you can manage it; we can discuss it afterward and brainstorm ideas for analysis essays."

"Ew, are you _crazy_? I'm not gonna read three freaking hundred pages!"

"Your loss." Relieved, I made my escape.

"What's up with him?" I could hear him asking behind me.

"He was looking in your sock drawer, Axel."

"For what, my diary?"

I went downstairs, told Father I was going for a walk, and called Gippal when I was far enough away from the house, which was a rather awkward conversation considering our convoluted relationship and the small number of times I'd actually interacted with him. He did, however, agree to my proposal, which was a relief. At least the first phase of my plans had been completed well enough...

[The next day, Axel caught me during a passing period and said, "Oh, by the way, turns out I'm doing something with Gippal and the guys after school today - you mind picking up the kids all by yourself?"

"I am perfectly capable of completing the task without you," I said as haughtily as I could.

He stared. "What's with the relief?"

"Pardon?"

"_Relief anxiety impatience nervousness_- What's up with you today?"

"Nothing. Get going before you're late to class." I swept past him and continued on, mentally cursing that uncanny ability to read my mind that all three of my siblings had seemed to develop. It was bad enough when only Xion did it, but now that these new stepbrothers of mine could practically see my thoughts as well...]

_*temporarily incomplete*_

Author's Notes: LOL MOST PEOPLE DON'T GO TO SCHOOL DURING THEIR SUMMER VACATIONS, R. GIRL. XD *headdeskdeskdesk* I'll fix it later... DX

Meant to post this a lot earlier today, but kept getting distracted by trolls in another fandom. *ahem* Anyway, I originally wrote this partial draft last year, for Saix/Axel Day 2012, but I failed to finish it in time. When a whole year rolled around and I realized I had a chance to try again, I wanted to finish it before 8 July 2013 - and ended up not even progressing at all. orz I really don't want to wait _yet another_ year, so I'm just gonna post what I have today and hopefully finish it soon. ...Hopefully.

And I know my explanation in the Isa/Saix Day fic was super-confusing... Basically, there'll be no way for you guys on FFN to know when I update this story with the completed version unless you keep checking it, which is a bit tiresome. So I put a note in my LiveJournal that this fic is incomplete, and you can check that instead, since I think it will be easier. (It's in the Pairing Days section of my "home base.")


	27. Treasure of my Heart - Shoes: Xem

Treasure of my Heart

Kingdom Hearts fanwork: Sibling Challenge by Inmate XIV, written by Raberba girl

Summary: One-shots about various Kingdom Hearts characters as siblings.

Introduction: I found another shiny new challenge, lol. XD **And I'll be breaking most of the rules for this one, just so you know. I do not handle word count limits well at all, and I'm going to be using whatever sibling combinations come to mind rather than 'claiming' a set to use for the whole thing.**

For a long time, I've wanted to write sibling sets such as Lea/Kairi, Roxas/Naminé, and especially Xion/Vanitas (squeee X3), and this was the perfect chance to do so~

I'll probably use a few themes for sibling sets in _Stepsiblings_, _The Light In Their Eyes_, etc., but I want to focus more on siblings I haven't written before.

I was _so stumped_ for a title, and was about to just type something lame, but then it occurred to me to look up famous siblings. I found a quote from _A Wrinkle in Time_ by Madeleine L'Engle, where young Meg is speaking to her five-year-old brother Charles Wallace: "I love you. Charles Wallace, you are my darling and my dear and the light of my life and the treasure of my heart. I love you. I love you. I love you." That gave me feels, so that's what I decided to use for my title. XD

**Shoes (theme 83) [rough draft]**

**Seven-year-old Xigbar & five-year-old Xem (Xemnas)**

**A/N: **_**Stepsiblings**_** universe. Xem's the narrator yet again. XD**

o.o.o

I can't _do_ it, I can't do it I can't do it I can't do it I'm gonna BURN THESE SHOES.

My brother is laughing at me. I won't burn my shoes, I'll burn _him_.

"You call that Speaking, Xem? Your lame sailor scout attack kind of tickles, maybe you should try harder."

But I _am_ trying. My eyes hurt. I thought they hurt because I was Speaking at him, but it's because I'm _crying_. I rub my face so he can't see the tears; I don't _want_ to cry. "I hate you!"

"Doesn't matter. You still can't tie your shoes."

I push on my face so I won't cry more. I don't know what to _do_. We have to leave, Father's gonna come back and he'll see I'm not ready to go, I can't tie my shoes I can't _do_ it. "I can make the loops...I cross them...but then they don't _work_."

"Because you're doing it wrong."

"I KNOW!"

I put my hands down and stare at him hard hard hard. _'Burn! Burn! Burn! Why won't you burn?!'_

"Xem, you're Speaking _'I'm hurting I'm hurting I'm hurting!'_ If you look at people like that, they'll smash you to pieces."

I put my hands on my face again. What do I _do_?

"You have to look at people and think, _'I'm better than you. I'm special. You can't hurt me because I'm stronger than you.'_ Sort of. I can't explain it because you're too little. But you're doing it wrong and it's annoying."

I look at him. _"I'm better than you. I'm special. I can do stuff you can't. Father likes me better."_

"Xem, stop trying to make people like you. No one likes you, and it's _bad_ if they do, stupid. You have to be strong on your _own_, other people aren't gonna be strong for you. That's why you're so weak, because you keep chasing after everyone instead of doing stuff yourself."

No one's going to help me. If I want to do this, I have to do it myself. I sit down again and pick up the laces. _'Loop...loop...cross-'_ I can't do it. My hands are all shaky and now I can't even hold the laces. I can never do anything right.

Xigbar holds my head and his eyes are yellow, _ow_, I see it, my hands move, the laces slip I look down and my shoes are tied. I look at them because I can't believe it. But they're tied. I saw it in my head and my fingers did it. I untie them and try to tie them again, and I _can't do it_.

"I just _Spoke_ how to do it! Do it that way, not the human way!"

I have to remember the yellow. I close my eyes and I can see it, my fingers know how to move because Xigbar showed me, I open my eyes and my shoes are tied. I hit my feet together. They're still tied.

I look at Xigbar. He's still a little horrible, but not a lot horrible. "Good."

"If you're a weakling, Xem, Father's gonna eat you."

"Father doesn't eat people." Ew.

"Yes he does. I won't let him eat me, but if he doesn't eat me, then he'll eat you. We're the only ones with yellow eyes. If he can't eat you either, maybe we can get rid of him."

"No we can't."

"We can't _now_. But when we're bigger and stronger, we will. You have to get stronger, Xem."

"I will. I can tie my shoes now." I show him my shoes. "Look."

"Yeah. But that's not enough."

"I'm trying."

"Try harder."

"You have to help me. I can't do it unless you help me."

"You have to be strong on your own."

"Help me first, and then I'm strong _after_."

"...Okay." He holds my hand and pulls me up, and we go tell Father we're ready.

o.o.o

Author's Notes: I actually finished a Xion/Van entry for this challenge first, but I have to save it for Valentine's Day, so this XigXem drabble gets posted first. ^^;

Not much to say about this one... It feels really weird trying to write Xig & Xem as small children. X'D I randomly felt like drafting a drabble tonight, and this plunny was the first one that came to hand.

...Wow, I can't believe that the last _Stepsiblings_ story I posted was five months ago ._. I've still got a ton of stuff for this universe in the works, I don't know why there was such a huge gap between actual posted stuff, especially since this drabble here was a very last-minute thing. ^^;

I got stuck in _yet another_ stupid fight on deviantART. **I'm still on hiatus**, even though it might not seem like it because I have no self-discipline. I'm so, so glad I don't have to wake up early tomorrow. It's exhausting having to get up before 6:00 a.m. for five days in a row, especially since I've gotten so very bad at getting to bed at a decent time. D'X

Complete: 1/100


	28. Creative Expression - Fear: Saix

_**Creative Expression - **__**Fear**_** (theme 40) [rough draft]****, a Kingdom Hearts fanfic written by Raberba girl**

**List of themes**** by ****DavisJes, Variation 3 for the 100ThemesChallenge group on deviantART**

Summary: Saïx tries to get his nephew to see reason.

A/N: _**Stepsiblings**_** universe, Saïx's POV, probably farther in the future than anything I've posted so far. XD** Eli is one of Roxas's sons.

I got exactly two votes, each for a different story. ^^; The tie-breaker was that this one is shorter, and also some other reasons that came up unexpectedly. But you'll still get to read the Axel drabbles soon~

o.o.o

Eli might have scoffed at me for buying him ice cream as if pacifying a small child, but he ate it readily enough as we walked through the park. He let me talk about the city council's renovation project for a while, and about my latest incident of unexpectedly meeting an old student, and my displeasure about the new budget cuts for the public library, before he finally couldn't take the suspense anymore.

"Look, Uncle Saïx, let's just get to the point of why I'm really stuck wandering around with you. I _am_ in trouble, aren't I? What, Dad wanted you to doomgaze me into apologizing to Kal or something?"

"Your father was too angry to look at you, your mother was crying, your brother obviously couldn't tolerate your presence, and I happened to be nearby. Bringing you with me seemed like the simplest solution."

"Soooo we're just gonna wander around eating ice cream, for...how long, exactly? Mom and Dad might get over it quick, but Kal's gonna hate me to his dying day."

"You know why, Eli, don't you?" I said in exasperation. "Why do you seem to have a compulsion to torture him? He's your _twin_. Shouldn't you two be close, rather than at each other's throats all the time?"

"I like him." Eli licked at his ice cream. "He's my favorite person in the whole world."

"And your way of expressing this affection is to lock him up, steal from him, play mind games on him that you _know_ he can't handle, and countless other torments that we negligent adults are probably unaware of?"

"If he'd just _pay attention_..." He ate some more of his ice cream.

"Don't trail off. Finish your statement."

"There's nothing to say."

I stopped and stepped in front of him, grasping his shoulders. He resisted me for a second, then cringed as he reluctantly met my gaze. _"Tell me why you hurt him,"_ I Spoke.

He tried hard not to cry, but lost the battle, and tears slid down his face as he choked out in a whisper I could barely understand, "He hates me. He hates me so much. Even when I try to be nice, he hurts _me_, so then I try to teach him a lesson and he hates me even more."

_"...Listen to me, Eli."_

"Please stop," he begged. "_Please_."

I sighed and released him, and gave him a moment to wipe his eyes and regain a small shred of his teenage dignity. "Eli," I said aloud, "you dug this hole yourself, and now you have to deal with the consequences. I know how it feels to be so afraid of pain that-"

"I'm not afraid of _anything_!"

"You're not afraid of anything you don't care about, which is almost everything. However, the one thing you adore, your brother, causes more fear in you than you know how to deal with."

"_Stop_ it!" he cried angrily as he broke into fresh tears. "You're not even doomgazing anymore and you're _still_ doomgazing! I want your eyes! _I_ want to be the freaking alien, you've always hated it so why couldn't _I_ have gotten it instead?!"

I shuddered to think of Eli King having the Speech on top of everything else...he'd probably finish what my grandfather had started and destroy us all. "Eli. Stop trying to change the subject."

"I'm not-!"

"The point is that your brother is going to continue to hurt you - after everything you've done to him, that is to be _expected_. If you want his love, you're going to have to earn it back. You're going to have to let him hurt you, as much and as long as it takes, until he can trust you again. You're the one who broke him, so don't complain when you get cut on the shards."

He finished his ice cream silently.

"Eli."

"..."

"It's worth it."

"I don't believe you," he muttered.

"I can tell you that-"

"No. I know you're right. I just can't make myself believe you."

After a moment, I put my arm around his shoulders. "You've chosen a difficult path, Eli, for both yourself and Kaleo."

"I guess in some ways I _am_ as dumb as he is," Eli muttered.

"Both of you are quite intelligent, which seems to be the only thing you two have in common..."

"...Uncle Saïx?"

"Yes?"

"I couldn't have said this stuff to anyone else. Don't tell anyone."

"You're safe with me, Eli."

He gave a wry chuckle. "Thanks."

o.o.o

Author's Notes: Kaleo & Eli are Roxas & Naminé's fraternal twin sons in this universe. They (along with Xion's daughter) are hybrid characters like Xem.

This drabble was originally for the "teenager" theme of Wishing-Fire's 100 theme challenge, but then I thought of a different idea for that which was shorter, and decided to re-assign this story to a different theme in a different challenge.

Complete: 3/100


	29. FoDF, 100 Moments - Fresh Breeze: Axel

Stepsiblings: Flurry of Dancing Flames, 100 Moments

Kingdom Hearts fanwork: AU challenge by Wishing-Fire, written by Raberba girl

Summary: 100 moments in the life of Axel Deucalion Hayes. _Stepsiblings_ universe.

Introduction: Apparently I'm as addicted to challenges as I am to Pairing Days. *sweatdrop* This one calls for the writer to take one character and write their AU life story from beginning to end. I thought it'd be interesting to try it with StepsibsAxel, especially since I was already working on a challenge for StepsibsSaix. I've had Axel's entire series planned out for a long time, but only just recently got a chance to sit down and _write_ the first part of it.

As usual, I can't stick to word count limits, so I didn't try. I'm going to divide the drabble sets according to certain time periods in Axel's life. I actually started with Axel being about six years old rather than a newborn, just after he meets Ven.

**OH BY THE WAY, I changed the name of Axel & Roxas's mom. **(Long story; I was discussing it in my journals and polls a while ago.)** Her name is now Eleanor, which she hates, so more formal people like Xem & Saïx call her "Lenore," and everyone else calls her "Norrie."**

**Part 1: Fresh Breeze**

Summary: Young as Axel is, he's already well-acquainted with emotional pain. Ventus has his work cut out for him.

**1. Smile**

The doorbell rings.

"Axel, get the door!" Mom yells.

I'm playing. "I'm busy!"

"GET THE DOOR!"

"FINE!"

I go open it and I'm about to call whoever it is bad names, but then I forget to say anything. It's that guy from before, when we went on the date together. He's back.

He smiles. "Hi, Axel."

"What are you doing here?"

"I think you might have left this in my car."

He holds out - my Gundam card. The one I lost. _He_ has it. Why does he have it?! I grab it and back away.

"I had fun the other night," he says. "We should do it again soon."

"What?" Why is he _here_? They never come back after they see me. They never come back. Especially since I ruined the big date like Mom was yelling at me for when we got home.

"Axel, who is it?" Mom yells.

"IT'S THE VEN GUY!" I yell back. "The porcupine head!"

There's a lot of noise like Mom dropped stuff, and she runs into the front hall. The look on her face is funny, so I laugh. "V-Ven?!"

He waves. "Hi, Norrie. Just stopped by to give this back to Axel."

"O-Oh..._what_?"

He came back for me... For me?

"Also, I uh...wanted to know, um, if you'd be interested in going out again...maybe this weekend...?"

"_What_?!"

"Why?" I ask.

He smiles again. "Well, I like your mom, Axel. I like you, too. I'd like to get to know you both better."

Mom grabs my shoulder like she's hugging me, but it hurts. I shove her away. "You mean you still want to-?! It's not a problem that I- That Axel-?!"

"I'm Mom's son," I tell him. "Guys don't want girlfriends who have kids, but my mom has a kid, and it's me. I'm here."

"I know that, Axel," he says. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"Liar!" I yell. I run to hide my card in my room so I'll never lose it again. Why would he say that stuff? Doesn't he know it's not supposed to work like that? He's stupid! Mom's stuck with me and she'll always be alone because of me, all the other idiots got it but Ven didn't get it so he must be even _more_ of an idiot than them, I hope Mom slams the door in his face and we never see him again.

**2. Eternity**

Sooooooooooo muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch taaaaaaaaaaaalkiiiiiiiiiiiiiing... I'm tiiiiiiiiired, the pastor guy won't shut uuuuuuuuuup, why won't Mom and Ven just kiss already so we can go eeeeeeeaaaaaaaat...

I flip the rings on the ribbon some more, but that's boring too and weddings are _boring_. I sit down on the steps and wonder if I could use the pillow to take a nap on, but Mom'd probably get really mad at me.

"_Axel_," she hisses. She's already mad at me. Whatever.

"Ssshh, Norrie, it's okay," Ven says, and nods at the pastor guy so he'll keep going.

Mom's still mad, though. She keeps looking at me and making faces, so I stick my tongue out at her.

Mom looks like she's gonna come after me, and I'm ready to hit her with the ring pillow, but then Ven kisses her and whispers, "I love you." She looks at him and he says, "Eyes on me, Star Girl, all right? Don't ignore me at our wedding~"

She hugs him and doesn't look at me anymore. Now they're _both_ ignoring me. I'm mad until Ven looks over his shoulder and winks at me. He's not ignoring me, he just said it so she'll stop being mad at me... I smile at him and stand up again. He's nice.

**3. Rivalry**

MOM HOGS HIM _ALL THE TIME_. It's my turn. It's _my turn_. "Daaaad!"

_"What is it?!"_ he asks through the phone.

"Mom won't let me have Roxas! I only got to play with him for like two seconds but she keeps _taking_ him and it's MY TURN!"

_"Was Roxas crying?"_

But it wasn't my fault, I was trying to make him feel _better_! "...No."

_"Are you sure? Because sometimes he cries when he's hungry, and he's too little for you to feed him yet."_

"..." Mom's in there letting Roxas [. . .] and I guess he's not crying anymore but it's not _fair_, I'm _always_ the one who makes him stop crying, me or Dad, he likes me better he likes me better IT'S MY TURN TO PLAY WITH HIM.

_"Axel...are you cry-?"_

"NO!" I slam the phone down. Fine. I don't care. I'll just go play outside and if Roxas wants me I won't _be_ there but he won't care because he has his precious _Mom_ and it's not fair it's not fair it's not faaaaaiiiir, I wanna play with Roxas, I don't _like_ sharing...

**4. Judgment**

Dad's dad is scary and mean, and I'm _not_ gonna call him 'Grandpa.' I'm gonna call him Darth Scarface. He looks mad when we come in, and Dad makes us go back and take our shoes off and put them by the door, but Darth Scarface still looks mad.

"Hello, Father."

"Son."

"It's been a while, hasn't it!"

"Yes," Darth Scarface says, but he looks at us like we're dirty things messing up his clean perfect house. I want to grab one of the pictures off the wall and smash it.

"Hello, Eraqus!" Mom says in her kindergarten teacher voice. _Fake_, I hate it when she talks like that, like she's happy even though she's not.

"Please address me as Mr. King."

"Oh...okay."

"Umm... So, uh, this is the first time you guys have been here, right?" Dad says. "This is the house where I grew up, Axel."

Does he expect me to tell him I like it or something? "Poor you."

Dad covers his mouth real quick. I can't tell if he's horrified or laughing.

"_Axel_." Mom's mad when she whispers, but then she sounds all perky again. "It's a _lovely_ house, I'm sure that Ven and his brother and sister really loved living here!"

"...Well, come in," Darth Scarface says.

We all go in the living room and after I finish eating the cookies from the plate I'm booooored, why can't we watch TV instead of just talk talk talk? But then Mom finally puts Roxas on a blanket on the floor, and I kneel down so I can poke his stomach and let him grab my fingers and play peek-a-boo with him. Mom and Darth Scarface both keep telling me to be quiet, but I ignore them.

Roxas was happy for a long time, but now he's not smiling anymore and he keeps making his 'I'm mad' noises and finally he starts crying. "Roxyyy! Come on Rox, don't cry, see, look!"

"I think he's hungry, Ax," Dad says.

"Um," Mom says, "is there maybe somewhere I could...have some privacy...?"

"Aqua's room," Dad says. "Come on, Axel, I'll show you my old room, too."

The three of us go upstairs, and Dad's room is cooler than the rest of the house, it's got video games in it. I'm looking at them when Darth Scarface comes and asks him something. After a while I decide which game I wanna play, but when I look up to ask where the controller is, I'm alone. "Dad?" I go downstairs to look for him.

Dad and Darth Scarface are talking in the living room, all quiet like they don't want us to hear.

"...but I _don't_ like her, Ventus," Scarface says. I hide behind the wall thing so I can hear better.

"Father. I truly am in love with her, as much now as I was when I first got to know her. Besides, we're already married, we've had a child together, it's not like there's anything you or I could do about even if there _was_ a problem. Which there isn't."

"You don't sense her insincerity? Her voice itself is irritating on its own-"

"Father!" Dad almost never sounds mad, but he sounds mad now. "Ignoring your unfair nit-picking for now, are you questioning whether she _cares_ for me or not? You don't know her like I do. I assure you, she adores me as much as I do her. We're both willing to do whatever it takes to keep our marriage strong and healthy, which would be easier if we had _support_ from our loved ones instead of constant criticism-"

"There is darkness in her heart, Ventus!"

"There's darkness in _everyone's_ heart. Mine, too, and _yours_. If you wanted me to wait until I found a completely perfect woman to be my wife, I'd _never_ have gotten married."

"Not perfect, of course, but at least someone... Her _past_, Ventus! That boy of hers, you don't even know-"

"You mean Ax-?" Dad suddenly looks over his shoulder, and I duck back but I know he saw me, and I wonder if I should run before he drags me out, but then he starts talking again. I look back at them, carefully, but they're still just talking. I guess he didn't see me after all. "Axel is my son, Father."

"Your steps-"

"My _son_."

"You didn't adopt him, which is probably the only wise decision you've made about this whole-"

"I'm _going_ to, we just haven't been able to get that done yet. And it doesn't matter. Whether he's my son on paper or not, he's already my son in our hearts."

"So you find it acceptable to let your children eavesdrop on conversations they were not meant to hear?"

I get this cold feeling in my stomach.

"Ax. Come on out here, okay?"

Dad never sounds mad even when I'm in trouble, so I look out at him again, but he doesn't look mad, either. He's...smiling a little, actually, and holding out his hand. I wanna keep hiding, but they both know I'm here, and I'd rather be with Dad than alone. I go the rest of the way down the stairs and stand next to him, and he puts his arm around my shoulders. I like how it feels, like we're partners.

"Axel, don't listen in when other people are talking."

"Why? Maybe _you_ guys shouldn't be dissing people."

He laughs, and I feel relieved. "Good point. But still, don't eavesdrop, okay?"

It's a lie to say I won't, but I want to make him happy. "...Okay." I shouldn't have said that...

**5. Laughter**

Roxas is _so freaking cute_, I can't stand it. He can walk now, a little, not by himself but he'll pull himself up on the coffee table or something and kind of edge along, like each step is this huge giant hard thing to do and every time he does it, I'm so proud of him.

Mom's watching TV, and me and Dad are playing Monopoly on the floor. Roxas was playing with his toys but now he says "Da" and crawls over to the table so he can stand up.

"Come on, Roxas!" I say. "_Come_ on, Rox, you can do it!"

Roxas slooooowly stands up, like it's as hard as climbing a mountain, but he does it anyway.

"Yaaaay! Good job, Roxas, now come here! Come on!"

"Da." Roxas takes a step. And another.

"Good job, big guy," Dad tells him, talking all high and cute too. Aunt Aqua says not to baby-talk at Roxas because it's bad for him or something, but I don't even notice I'm doing it 'til Dad does it, too, and neither of us cares. "Good job, Roxas! Come on, Rox-my-socks, almost there!"

Roxas's hand suddenly slips off the table and he plops down on his bottom. But he fell on the money holder thing so he doesn't just sit, he flips right over onto his back.

We're all surprised for a second.

"What happened?!" Mom says. "Roxas?!" She gets up and comes over to us.

For a second I'm scared that Roxas got hurt, but then Dad bursts into laughter and scoots over and holds his hands over Roxas, and I think Roxas was gonna cry but when he sees Dad looming over him, he just holds onto Dad's fingers and says "Da."

"That's right, Roxas, it's Daddy," Dad says.

"Is he okay?!" Mom asks.

"It's Dad, Roxas," I say. "You found him."

Roxas blows a spit bubble like it's serious business.

"I love you," Dad says, leaning down to kiss his forehead.

"I love you, too," I say, and I kiss him too.

Mom pushes us out of the way and scoops up Roxas and cuddles him. "I love you soooo much," she says.

Sometimes it feels like loving Roxas is the only thing all three of us can agree on...

**6. Tiny**

Is it okay for Roxas to still be so small? I mean, he seems big to me because he's bigger now than he was before, but he looks tiny when I see him next to the other babies his age. "...Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Is Roxas gonna be all scrawny and wimpy when he grows up?"

"What makes you say that, Axel?"

"He's so small..."

"Heh. Well, his brother's pretty scrawny, too." He pokes me in the side.

"Ow!"

"Seriously, though, you worry me, Axel... Come on, let's go get some hamburgers."

"But I'm not hungry."

"Axel, it's lunch time. Just because you're not hungry doesn't mean you shouldn't eat..."

**7. If**

What does he want? I go up and ask him. "Hey, creep, why're you staring at me?"

"Well, you're a bold one, aren't you."

"Why are your eyes yellow?"

"The better to eat you with, my dear," he says as if it's a joke, but it's just stupid.

"You can't eat people with your eyes."

"Well, humans certainly can't."

"Are you an alien or something?"

"If I was, what would you do?" he asks. I don't like how he's grinning.

"I dunno..."

"Call the police? Watch me get dissected? Steal all my superior technology in order to invade my homeworld?"

That kind of thing happens in the movies, but it sounds weird to hear him say it, like none of it would ever happen if he was an alien for real.

"You're not an alien, you just make dumb jokes."

"Alas, my grasp of Earth humor can use some fine-tuning," he says, but he's still smiling like that's a joke, too.

"Whatever. Bye."

"Good-bye, Axel."

**8. Enchantment**

The other kids at school complain about getting baby-sat, but...I kind of like it. I like my new aunts and uncles a lot.

Aunt Ella is reading us a bedtime story. "...and as soon as her lips touched the frog's smooth, slimy head, the enchantment was broken, and he transformed into a handsome prince!"

Roxas is already asleep in the arm she's not holding the book with. I'm sitting next to her on the bed with my head on her shoulder, and I'm too tired to keep my eyes open but I like listening to her read. She has a pretty voice.

"...and so they got married and lived happily ever after." I feel her close the book. "The end~!"

"Mm."

"Did you like the story, Axel?"

I'm too tired to talk. "Nngh."

"Are the fairy tales all right with you, or would you like me to read from a chapter book next time?"

I don't care. Hearing Ella read is hearing Ella read, it doesn't matter what she's reading. "Mrrrrh."

She kisses my hair. "Good night, Axel sweetheart. I love you."

It feels weird to say to anyone else, but for some reason I don't mind saying it to Aunt Ella. I wish she was my mom instead of Mom. "Loveyoutoo."

**9. Dancer**

I _hate_ playing DDR and Guitar Hero and all those other music games, Demyx always always ALWAYS wins and I bet he _cheats_.

But everyone at the birthday party's had a turn at DDR and I don't like how they're looking at me, like they think I won't play because my score will suck so much next to theirs. "Fine! It's my turn, _move_."

I don't care what song it is, this whole thing is stupid so I just let the girl pick. I hate this game, hate it...stupid arrows...stomp stomp stomp, Demyx I wish I could stomp your face in, it's not _fair_ he's a better dancer than me I bet he actually-

I won. What? I got the highest score at the whole party. The _highest score_. What?! What?! I'm the best?! Demyx isn't here, and he's the only one I can't beat but I guess I'm better than everyone else...?! "HAH! I'm awesome!"

**10. Excuse**

Don't look at me like that _don't_ look at me like that! You're supposed to never get mad, Dad, DON'T! I'm sorry! I won't do it again just stop being mad at me!

"So that's your excuse?" he says in this scary flat voice.

I don't know what to say.

"_Look_ me in the eyes when I'm talking to you, Axel," he says, so loud and kind of mad that I get scared and look at him. I can't stand it so I look away, but he holds my chin and makes me look at him again. I feel sick. I'm gonna throw up. I wish I hadn't done it but it's too late now and I can't fix it even though I really really want to, what do I do?! "I need you to explain to me, in your own words, _what exactly was going through your head_ when you did this. Did you think this was a _good idea_? Did-?" He stops talking and lets go of me and takes a deep breath, and suddenly I just run. I know I shouldn't, it'll just be worse later, but I couldn't stand it, it _hurts_. I wish I could hide in a hole and never come out.

It takes a long time, but Dad finally finds me. I don't move or say anything as if he won't see me if I'm quiet, but of course he sees me, I know he's looking right at me. He sits down next to me. I wish he'd yell at me, so I can yell back and feel better, but he doesn't say _anything_, so I feel like crying instead but I really don't want to.

He puts his hand on my head. "Hey. Ax." His voice is all soft like he's not mad anymore, and that's even worse. I can't say anything even if I wanted to, because I'll cry if I do. "I apologize for getting angry."

I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I wish I could fix it, but I can't, and I don't know what to do.

"...Axel?"

"..."

"I do really need you to talk to me, though."

"...It wasn't my fault." My voice surprises me, all thick and scratchy. It hurts to talk.

"It wasn't?" he says, like he doesn't believe me, and of course he doesn't because of course it was my fault.

"...Dad..."

"What is it, Axel?" he says, and he sounds so friggin' _nice_, it's not fair.

"Can I...pay you...back?"

"That's not really-" He's been kind of patting my hair a little all this time, and it felt nice, but now he stops. He puts his hands on my shoulders and tries to make me sit up, but I really, really, really don't want to, I _can't_ look at him. "Axel. Please look at me." He doesn't sound mad anymore, but I know I have to look at him even though I really don't want to, so I make myself. It _hurts_. "Axel, I need to hear an apology. Please. Please tell me you're sorry."

"...I'm sorry." As soon as I say it, I burst into tears, I hate myself but then he hugs me and it feels _so good_ to be hugged, it doesn't hurt as much anymore. "I'm sorry, Dad...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."

"Ssshh, Ax, it's all right. I forgive you."

**11. Inspiration**

We're coloring together. I'm giving Santa a blue-and-purple suit and a green beard and evil red demon eyes. Roxas has a yellow crayon and is happily scribbling over the elf on the other page. "That's beauuuutiful, Roxas. Good job coloring!"

"Goo." He flops to the side and puts his face on my knee for some reason, then after a second he rolls back and goes back to coloring. He left a drool mark on my jeans.

"Thanks, buddy."

"Aaah." He reaches over and starts scribbling yellow on my Santa.

"Is that supposed to be pee or something?"

"Eee."

"He drank too much milk, huh."

"Uh."

"Roxas."

He just keeps coloring.

"Heh. 'Roxas' is hard to say, isn't it. Raaaaah."

"Ah."

Dad comes in, carrying a basket of laundry. "Oooohh, nice work, boys!"

"Christmas is very inspirational," I tell him. "We're making a story where Demon Santa drank too much milk and peed on the roof."

Dad laughs. "I see."

"Da." Roxas lets go of the crayon, crawls over to Dad, and sits on his foot.

"Aww, big guy." Dad puts down the basket and scoops up Roxas, who laughs. "You rock my _world_!" Dad says, lifting Roxas up and down, and up and down. "You rock my _world_! And my socks! And everything!"

Roxas keeps laughing and hits Dad's head with both hands.

"Ow!"

o.o.o

Author's Notes: "Fresh Breeze" is the Japanese name of Ven's default Keyblade in _Birth by Sleep_.

3. Rivalry - ...There was a tiny censored part because I couldn't imagine Axel saying anything else, but it just seemed too crass in a fanfiction context. -.- I don't think it would have sounded quite as bad with original characters who don't have fandom baggage.

5. Laughter - Axel heard the expression "Rocks my socks" from Ven, then turned it into a nickname for Roxas, which Ven soon picked up on. :)

7. If - The yellow-eyed creep who mysteriously knew Axel's name was Xehanort. :p


End file.
